CHRISTINE

i'm not quite sure how to breathe without you here i'm not quite sure if I'm ready to say goodbye to all we were

be with me stay with me just for now let the time decide when i won't need you

my hand searches for your hand in a dark room i can't find you help me are you looking for me

can i feel any more lie to me, i'm fading i can't drop you tell me i don't need you

my hand searches for your hand in a dark room i can't find you help me are you looking for me

etch this into my brain for me tell me how its supposed to be where everything will go and how i'll be without you by my side

my hand searches for your hand in a dark room i can't find you help me are you looking for me

my hand searches for your hand in a dark room i can't find you help me are you looking for me

Alone.

Nothing.

It’s sad to always be sad, when you’ve grown accustomed to the feeling. Everyday you build this facade of happiness but deep inside you’re slowly, continuously breaking to small pieces.

Bit by bit, piece by piece.

It’s like dying over and over but you can’t do anything about it. You have been trying to fight the constant sadness that consumes you and everyday is a struggle.

Tempting. Tempted. 

You’ve tried to kill yourself but there you are still walking and breathing and the worst part is every failed attempt makes you lonelier. It makes you sad to know that you are sad. You try your best to hide the pain, you laugh and smile but it’s all a mask, a call for help.

You need helping, you need saving.

But how? How will you be saved? When no one knows, when no one understands. You wanted to scream it out, let someone know. But you can’t, no one will know. And as the time passes by you get more scared, scared of what can happen and what you might do. You want everything to be okay, it will be okay.

I have always been a firm believer of everything being time bound. A big reason why things happen simply because it has always been bound to happen at a certain time. So is meeting different people all through our lives; everyone has something to alter in our live’s path. I remember someone introducing me to the “chaos theory” where the idea is, is that the simplest “ripple” from someone can radiate our “pool” of life and possibly change course of how our day should go. We may not know what it is or how big it is but surely they will alter one thing or another. Even the simplest “Hi.” from the stranger you met on the park or even the biggest ending of relationship from a friend or a lover. Fate and destiny then comes in to picture, and these have had lots of yes and nos. Some say yes, fate and destiny works its magic in every people’s lives or no we have to make our own destiny. But I for myself have always considered this, think of it this way, with billions or even trillions of people all over the globe whom we interact with directly or indirectly there’s always those whom we grew up to know and love and those whom we meet then love and care of. What are the odds of us doing those for another, question is that of all the people, why them? why him? why her? Amazing isn’t it? Life’s full of wonder and mystery, we all have our own journeys. No matter where life takes us, or who we meet if things are meant to be it will happen. So if things get busted, think of it this way, you may not be where you wanted to be cause may be you are where you’re supposed to be in the first place.