hey guys, it’s been a while. a... really long while. around 8 months actually. probably should’ve said something before up and leaving this blog, but uh... here i am?
so some of you might not remember who i am because it’s been a while. that’s fair. you also might be wondering why i left, or what i’ve been up to. i’m not going to go into my personal life at the moment but it’d probably suck if i didn’t explain anything
when i left i was in a really bad spot. my paranoia was off the charts and i felt like literally everyone was pretending to be my friend just to turn on me if i did anything they didn’t like. so i left every public space i could out of fear. was it irrational? maybe. but when you’re in the state of mind i am, you can’t think critically or stop to wonder if what you’re doing is right, you’re just powered by fear and you’re desperate to run away from anything and everything. shitty, i know. but that’s how anxiety is sometimes- i’ve managed for the past months, though. i’ve had my ups and downs. i’ve tried to at least cope with it and get help.
it’s been so long i can barely remember anything that’s happened when i used to frequent this site, but i imagine i probably had some good friends here. and for leaving like this, i’m sorry. i didn’t open up easily to people then and i still don’t now. but i’m sorry for leaving without a trace, and for making people worried.
i’m still not sure what to do with this blog, as coming back and readjusting to being here after so long would be awkward and probably take a while for everyone to get used to seeing me around again, but it’s up in the air, to be honest. a part of me wants to keep this up as an archive since there’s a lot of memories i don’t want to be lost, but another part really wants me to just come back and try to adjust to being... out there again.
tl;dr: i’m not dead, and i’m sorry for leaving without a word. also, at the anon in my inbox: i wish i could remember what you’re referring to, but my memory’s so poor nowadays. either way, i don’t think i hold any hatred or dislike torwards you.
that’s pretty much all i had to say. see you on the flip side? maybe?
