imagine,

he follows the other down a path past a few other visitors, hands deep in the pockets of his hoodie. “ tell me about cuter animals instead. something furry and adorable, not about feathered devil spawns. ”

Haneul watches his friend and the way he speaks and reacts to the things they talk about, and he does remind Haneul of some of the children that come to the zoo to see the animals: they're always scared of the snakes, the spiders, the frogs, and they always end up huffing in frustration when their parents don't buy them ice cream or the stuffed animal they wanted from the gift shop. Alex has only grown in height, but he's still a boy in a way; he's lucky Haneul doesn't see a problem in that. He likes the contrast between the two of them, it's kind of refreshing to spend time with someone that is so different from him.

"I have seen that movie," he tells the other, with a playful smile on his lips. "And it made me laugh. Our birds won't hurt you, Alex... They're in their enclosures and they won't get out just to peck your eyes out." Chuckling, he pats his friend's shoulder as he starts to lead him out of the reptiles' area, and his smile widens after the request to see other types of animals, the fluffy and cute ones — the first thing that comes to his mind is the fennec fox. They are some of the cutest animals in the zoo, and the kids love seeing them. Of course Alex would like them too.

The sun peeked through the windows, turning the room different shades of orange and warmth, the birds were singing from the sky and the squirrels were running up and down their trees to collect food from the grass; summer had never been more beautiful before, and everything about it made his attention drift from whatever the teacher was saying to the music produced by nature. He was known for being the nature boy, but they do say love make can everything prettier.

He knew it did, he was experiencing it first hand. She was one of the beautiful things that always managed to take his attention away from his studies, and she did it mercilessly; perhaps she didn’t really know the effects she had on his poor young heart yet, but she seemed to enjoy the reactions she got from him every time she noticed him — sitting just a few desks away, with pencil and notebook very well organized before him.

“ good, yeah. just looking at some of your pals. ” he gestures behind himself towards where the animal hasn’t moved by an inch. “ are we gonna stay here? if you’re gonna try to drag me to the birds again, i will bite you. ”

He stops next to the man, and he shifts his eyes from the other’s face to the animal he’s been staring at. It’s a beautiful little creature, and Haneul can’t but let a small and proud smile form on his lips seeing one of his animals so happy and enjoying the sunlight; in those moments it’s very easy to see the passion in his body language. 

“That’s Ari, he’s one of the baby crocodiles that were born last week.” Haneul tells his friend, as if he was there to learn about the reptiles he so passionately work with. The thing is, Haneul has probably rambled about his animals so many times that Alex might be tired of it already, but Haneul shows no sign of ever stopping. He’s like a parent that won’t shut up about how talented or cute their child is.

But once he hears the last comment made by the other, Haneul’s attention goes back to Alex, and he laughs a little — not only because of the comment itself, but because he’s once again reminded of Alex’s fear of birds. He has tried to take the other to see the birds at the zoo, and he’ll keep trying.

"With my wife,” he says without hesitation, but there’s a serious expression on his face. Yes, he does sleep with his wife every night, but it’s not the same as it used to be in the past. Most of the time they’re upset with each other, so there isn’t a lot of affection involved... It makes Haneul sad because he kind of misses sleeping with her in his arms, but he doesn’t feel comfortable doing that with all the questions and suspicions in his mind.

“She can be very clingy when she’s asleep so we cuddle all night.”

One little lie won’t hurt anyone.

"That’s a very difficult question, I don’t think I’d ever want to be stuck with one single movie for the rest of my life.” He frowns a little and scratches his cheek, trying to think of the best answer. “But I think if I really had to choose one, I’d go with something my wife likes too so it won’t be too annoying for her. We really like Midsommar so that’s gonna be my answer.”

“you don’t have to go into details, or if you just want to get something off your chest so you can enjoy the rest of the night,” yul suggests hoping to help unload haneul’s mental baggage. 

and to lighten the mood, he smiles offering another form of release, “and there’s more beer in the fridge if that’s what you prefer.”

He manages to let a small smile form on his lips when Yul talks about Shia, and he tries to remember that new information about her for the future — maybe he could gift her a toy of her new favorite cartoon one day, maybe on her next birthday or for Christmas. He knows she likes fish and the zoo, but he doesn’t want to be the type of uncle that only gives the child the same thing over and over again. 

“You know, Halloween is in just a few months... It’d be cute to surprise her with a ladybug costume.” He suggests, allowing a quiet chuckle to escape past his lips at the thought of how happy little Shia would be, and thinking about that almost takes him out of his stressed state of mind, but soon he returns to his concerns and questions.

The smile slowly dissipates from his lips, and he takes a deep breath when he’s reminded of his situation at home. He wants to talk about it, but there is a little bit of fear that Yul’s gonna tell him that he’s being paranoid, that his reaction is exaggerated considering there isn’t much evidence of his suspicions, considering that he should trust his wife more.

“It’s just,” he starts, but makes a little pause to take a big sip from his bottle of beer, and leans back against the couch to try and make himself more comfortable to talk about his issues. He stays silent for a few more seconds, with his head resting on the back of the couch and his eyes focused on the ceiling above them. 

“I think my wife is cheating on me.”

He didn’t think saying those words out loud would be so painful, but it is much worse than just repeating them over and over in his mind. It makes him feel a bit anxious, and to suppress that weird feeling he tries to push it down his throat with another sip of beer.

“She’s been acting weird, getting home from work much later than usual, doesn’t want me to pick her up at the office... It’s strange.” The more he speaks, the lower his tone of voice becomes, almost as if he doesn’t want to hear himself; but he still hopes Yul can hear him.

— closed starter for @alexchr​​​​; present days, at the zoo.

Summer is the best weather for the zoo: there are much more visitors, most of the animals are out under the sunlight to enjoy the warmth after months trying* to avoid the chilly weathers, and the schools have planned field trips where they take their kids for a little educational tours around the place, while a worker introduces them to some of the animals. And most of the time, Haneul likes to offer to be the one leading one of the groups through the many different locations.

Despite saying he’s not good with kids, he becomes quite popular among them — he tries to be fun, makes little jokes, anything to entertain the kids and make them laugh, and he manages to do it every time. It’s actually pretty cute to see how he brightens up every time he’s able to teach something important to the kids, like the importance to take care of nature and every little animal that lives in it. 

He always comes back from those educational tours feeling refreshed and satisfied, as if he had completed his life mission. But not this time.

Instead, he feels like his mission isn’t finished yet; in fact, he feels like it has just started when he sees his friend’s face staring at him as he waits for Haneul at the reptiles’ habitat. His smile widens when he approaches the other man, and pats him on the shoulder when he speaks.

haneul doesn’t really know how they became friends, but he’s happy they did. alex has always been so different from him, and haneul never imagined that a cool guy would want to be friends with a nerdy guy, and yet their friendship has been alive for years after their graduation — and by alive, i mean breathing with difficulty... but haneul is willing to get it back together.

haneul keeps memories from high school, and the drawings of him made by alex are a few of them. that was probably the first time someone put so much effort into making something about haneul ( before his wife, of course ), the first time someone made art out of his image. he really appreciates all the work alex put into those drawings, so he keeps them to this day.

haneul sees yul as a role model. yul is probably the most responsible and hardworking person haneul knows, and he still manages to be so happy and so full of life most of the time... haneul wonders how he does that, and he’s pretty sure shia is one of the biggest reasons why his friend is so full of joy. yul is a great professional, a great father, a great friend, and haneul wishes he could be at least a slightly bit like the great person that is han yiyul.

haneul is shia’s self proclaimed uncle. he isn’t sure if yul would have taught his daughter to call his friend her “uncle”, but haneul made sure to tell shia that he is her uncle since she was just a little baby. he has seen her grow, he has seen her develop her love for fish, and he can see a little bit of him there in the way she’s so passionate about sea life. either yul likes it or not, he will be there to encourage the little girl to go for a biology major when she’s old enough to go to college.

there is no one haneul trusts more than yul. well, his wife doesn’t count... especially now that he’s been having a really bad time with her, and he wouldn’t be afraid to open up to yul about his situation with her. he knows yul can keep his secret as if his life depended on it, and he knows his friend wouldn’t tell him anything that could be harmful for him and his wife; he listens to yul’s advises, and actually tries to do what he’s told.

"Um,” he frowns and thinks for a moment, trying to find what qualities he admires about himself. “I... don’t know? My wife always tells me I’m very organized and hardworking, my coworkers tell me I’m very patient and well skilled when I take care of our reptiles, so... I think those are some nice things about me?”

"I wish I could change the way my feelings have changed throughout the years,” he says, and the only thing he can think of is how things have changed between him and his wife. If he could, he would change everything so he could love her again as much as he did in the past. He hopes he can lover her again as much as he did in the past.

"That’s an easy one,” he tells, nodding a few times and smiling playfully. “If I weren’t married already, I’d marry Yul because he’s the most tolerable out of the three. I’d bang Alex, because there’s no way I’d do that with Kitae. And finally, I would block Kitae so he can finally stop asking me why I didn’t choose to study medicine with him.” ( @alexchr, @chryul, @chrkitae )

"I would erase my first year in Hannam. I struggled a lot because, you know- I was a nerdy guy, I actually enjoyed studying, I was way too tall for his age... Yeah, it wasn’t a good time.”

"I really miss the first house were I lived before my parents decided to move to an apartment. It had a huge backyard, my mother had a beautiful garden, and I would play there every day after school.” He smiles and chuckles a little, thinking about the things he’d dig out of the soil for fun. “My father gave me a magnifying glass one day, and I used it to play pretend that I was a scientist researching the insects that lived in the garden.”