My gender is: AVAILABLE FOR THE LOW LOW PRICE OF $29.95! THAT'S RIGHT— ONLY $ 2 9 . 9 5 ! ORDER NOW AND RECEIVE A FREE SMOOTHIETASTIC!

…They did what… to you? No. I will make them pay. You’re fucking mine. And nobody, nobody, lays a goddamn finger on you.

Me when I get my car back from the mechanics and the adjustment on my seat is all wrong

This is the funniest fucking addition

who is tim horton and why does everyone in canada know him

oh ya timmy’s just a good bud there eh

what does this say

Me high as fuck at 3 am opening and closing the refrigerator while disassociating

“orange cats are ugly” thats fuckign firestar of thunderclan. have some goddamn respect.

bubble wrap but theres terrified faces printed on the bubbles so you feel morally challenged popping them

did you mean horny

i would love to study you

i go into a tumblr hiatus every few months and every time i come back i see this dumb shit immediately

can you just shut up and enjoy the fact that all of our icons are yellow for a second

What I didn’t know i needed

This is so cute I’m about to die

I love it!