Ranger regrets his decisions (i’m sure this is only the beginning)
Context- Our party of 4 (rogue, bard, ranger and me the barbarian Johnny) have all been joking saying that is we were to sacrifice anyone, it’d be Johnny since he’s a commoner. Everyone else are nobles/merchants. I kept telling them they’d regret their decision cause I will make an angry old wizard as my next character.
Turns out I’d need him because our ranger last session cut a rope bridge, which killed Johnny AND the enemies.
DM: You find a old creepy looking cabin. As you open teh door you find the ugliest and rattiest man you’ve ever seen.
Me: I KNOW WHAT YOU DID! *As I point to the ranger*
Me: *Maniacal laughter* Oh shit I rolled an 18. Anyway my dude here begins to laugh like a maniac.
DM: Ranger. You are intimidated.
DM: I love him. I won’t let you kill him.
Bard: Soooooo what’s your name?
Me: Whose asking! Is it the guards! Can’t trust them. They’ll take your knees you see!
Bard: I slide him an ale.
Me: I like you! Just call me Ole ‘Ermit.
Bard: I figure it out! Just give Ermit booze!
Bard: So What’s your story?
Me: I pull out my dagger–
Bard: I shove an ale into his hands first!
Me: One second *Roll a die* I use to be an old sailor. Had the best life traveling by the sea. Until a horrible storm came and swept the boat and crew away. Now I drink my sorrows away.
Bard: Oh my gosh he’s so sad!
Rogue: *beating my deception* I also hand him an ale and ask him his story.
Me: *Rolls a die* I use to be a farmer. Lived in a quiet little village with my wife Gena and kids Tommy and Tabby. At least until the great fire. Took all my crops, my home, and my family. Now I drink my sorrows away.
Ranger: GOD DAMN IT I HATE THIS GUY
Me: THEN SOMEBODY SHOULDN’T HAVE MURDERED JOHNNY! NOW YOU GET GRUMPYMC'OLD DUDE!
DM: I love this guy. I don’t usually see [my name] being the chaotic one and I love it.
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