CHICKSICLE

every time I post something like this I get comments and messages to the effect of “how do you FIND this shit” and I really can’t reiterate enough: I live in Oregon and this shit finds me whether I like it or not

why dont humans have a specific noise that means “there are bees here lets leave immediately” why are elephants more advanced than us

i’d kill for a steady income tbh

so turns out this is called being an assassin. finally, a career for me

im a putlocker man at heart but sometimes you just gotta settle for gorillavid

I'm loyal and kinky af, what more could you want?

someone just sent me a message saying there’s an okcupid account catfishing with my selfies to find a sugar daddy but i had to tell them that’s actually really me

why am i not the protagonist of an amazing story

you are though—its called your life

shut the fuck up i wanna struggle fighting demons not struggle with getting out of bed every day

but those are your demons

i am hereby naming you as the antagonist and now it is my sole job to find you and hit you in the face with a chair for that bitch ass comment you just made

kids, when you’re choosing your college schedule, you’ll hear a voice saying “just take the 8AM class. it won’t be that bad. you’ve done it for this long” that’s the devil talking

…….omg … wait …. omg