The party had already started by the time you made it back to camp. There was a buzz in the air that you picked up on once you dismounted your steed. Probably just the imminent storm that was on the wind at the time, but part of you liked the idea that the energy from the people around you had created some sort of special spark. This was a moment you would keep with you forever, a moment you still return to today.

As you approached, tugging your gloves off, the blurry blobs finally came into view. First Arthur and Mary-Beth, the two of them swaying back and forth alongside Dutch and Molly, who were tangled up in each other’s arms. Molly caught your eye again, as she always had. Her beauty was captivating, breathtaking, something you only thought could be dreamt up. Dutch dipped her low and then tugged her back up into his embrace, those orange curls that were usually coiled tight sprung with her and were free just like her laughter. There was a bright smile that adorned her freckled face. You swore you had never seen anything prettier than that smile.

Music seeped out of the gramophone nearby and swirled up to join the clouds of smoke in the air. Finally you tore your gaze away from the beautiful woman to inspect a rowdy group sat around a table. There you found Uncle singing some silly song with Sean and Karen as Javier plucked his guitar. You were quick to join in on the fun. For just a moment, you felt the world outside of camp and your worries for what came tomorrow slip away.

The night continued, time becoming an afterthought as you drank and sang with your friends. Your family. As the alcohol settled in your veins your mind drifted back to Molly. The booze buzzed through you like the storm in the sky and soon you were stumbling back to Dutch’s tent, acting before thinking. There you found a very glum Molly, alone as usual, who was startled by your presence.

“Sorry.” You slurred, gripping tight to the canvas, “just got a little curious.” Molly had raised an eyebrow at that, you only remember because it was the one part of her face that wasn’t blurred. To her surprise, you moved closer, tripping over your own feet but still making it to her, nonetheless. Once you had, Javier played a note on his guitar, the start of a song, and Sean’s voice rung out.

O Mollie, O Mollie, it's for your sake alone

A smile crept up your face at that. You absolutely loved this song.

That I leave my old parents, my house and my home

You loved this song so much that you reached your hand out to Molly, silently asking her to dance.

My love for you, it has caused me to roam

She looked at your hand in confusion but you didn’t mind, because the alcohol was just begging for you to move.

I'm a rabble rouser and Dixie's my home

So you began to dance and twirl without a care, without Molly. Your moves were nowhere on beat, but that was the fun of it all. A part of you, even while drunk, was hoping that this would cheer her up.

Jack o' diamonds, Jack o' diamonds, I know you of old

Your laughter was almost as loud as their singing, joy bursting throughout your body.

You robbed my poor pockets of silver and gold

Molly watched you curiously, your carefree nature was new to her, and your interest in her was even newer.

O Whiskey, you villain, you've been my downfall

You had let out a shameless laugh at these lines, everything was funny to you right then. All of your worries floated far away.

You've kicked me, you've cuffed me and cause me to brawl

Someone grabbed your shoulder and you turned to find Molly stood up from her spot on the cot, her green eyes meeting yours. It looked as if there were a million things she wanted to say.

My foot's in a stirrup, my bridle's in my hand

You gripped her hand and pulled her into a tight embrace, there was no time for idle chatter. Dancing was the only thing on your mind so you began to lead her in an absolutely absurd dance, one that left the both of you dizzy.

I'm leaving sweet Mollie, the fairest in the land

Molly had to tug herself away, to catch her breath. Though, her eyes were still on you, you who still had so much energy and enthusiasm, you who spun and twirled around her. The song drifted into background noise, your giggles the only thing that could be heard right then. Molly couldn’t help the smile that broke through, like the sun shining through the clouds after a long rain.

“You’re a real funny one.” She commented but you were too caught up in your own world to catch it.

Your drunken buzz had died down to a low hum as you and Molly sat side by side in silence. The moonlight was shimmering off the lake in front of you, trees were swaying back and forth with each gust of wind, and frogs croaked a symphony nearby. You swore you could even hear a rumble of thunder in the distance. Clouds rolled overhead, dimming the glow of the stars above. That storm was even more fresh on the wind right then, but not a single drop of rain made it out of those clouds, if you recall correctly. The party behind the two of you was still going strong, though it was nothing but muffled laughter at that point.

You were the first to break the silence between you, with a question that had riddled your mind for as long as you could remember, “Do you ever regret comin’ here?” And you watched Molly’s gaze drop to her lap as she processed that. The true answer was written all over her face but she tried her best to deny it with a simple shake of her head.

Your response was a laugh of disbelief. The woman you knew wasn’t the woman everyone else had known at the time, that was obvious. Your view of her was completely different than anyone else’s, and you could tell how badly that had affected her. She was isolated, by the others and herself. Sometimes, even by you. You knew she was lying.

And she was, because Molly really did regret coming here. All the time. She would admit that to you over a glass of wine in a train headed to your future years later. But right now, in this moment you’re reliving, she only chose to share how lonely she was.

“I do not belong here. Not amongst these…” she searched for the nicest way to describe the gang of misfits. Nothing came to mind though and you watched as she let out a defeated sigh. It was obvious why she chose not to finish that sentence, she didn’t want to insult you. Or at least, that’s what you had hoped.

You parted your lips, desperately searching for anything else to say, anything else to fill the void. Even now you remember the words that were strung together and swirling through your mind: “you belong here” “I care about you” “I love you, I really do” but you stopped yourself, knowing that those remarks would have only made things worse. Instead, you let the silence linger between you. It hung heavy in the air, like the moisture that threatened to spill from the clouds above. As you sat there contemplating whether you should speak up or not, you tugged at the grass beneath you. A nervous habit that you still have to this day. Each innocent strand of grass after another pulled from the ground prematurely until you finally got the courage to speak up again, to ask her another question.

“Do you ever feel like…” you had paused to look her way, to inspect if she was listening or maybe even annoyed by you. All she did was meet your gaze and so you continued, “like the world has left you behind?” Quite often, at the time, you found yourself feeling that way. Insignificant, crumpled up and forgotten. Honestly, you had lived most of your life feeling like that and all you really wanted was to hear someone else say that they felt the same. And Molly did. She gave you a curt nod and turned to look out at the horizon again. The topic seemed to be a hard one for her so you decided it was best to leave it at that but it was nice to know you weren’t alone. Later, Molly would tell you that she wasn’t used to someone asking her these type of things, or even showing any type of interest in her. She appreciated it immensely but had no idea how to show that she did. Right then, though, you were convinced everything was slipping through your fingers because of how quiet Molly had become.

The silence settled over the both of you once and for all, like a warm blanket next to a fire. It was suffocating at first, the urge to just keep talking, to keep things positive, ate at you, but before you knew it, the feeling became something more. It became relaxing. A feeling that was so foreign to the both of you, so foreign yet so nice.

It took you a moment to realize that Molly shifted closer, but once you had, you wrapped an arm around her shoulder and tugged her close to you. Still, you’re unsure what possessed you to do such a bold thing. She then rested her head upon your shoulder, the warmth of your bodies mingling. A content sigh came next, from both of your lips, and soon you were resting your chin against her hair. You two sat there in a silence that was now full of understanding and peace. The party long forgotten as your hearts intertwined.

The sheets beneath you shift as you return to reality, the woman next to you finally rising from her sleep. She rises with certainty, stretching out her coiled muscles and yawning loudly. Those orange curls of hers a mess, the nightgown she sleeps in unbuttoned, rumpled, and falling off her shoulders to reveal her freckled skin. A shaky smile pulls up her lips as she meets your loving gaze, “Hey.” A greeting you have come to expect every morning.

You’re still unsure how someone like you ended up with a woman like her, a woman of such high society and standards. Sometimes you’re still awestruck by the sight of her. Sometimes all it takes is a kiss for you to remember how real this actually is. Your lips collide with hers, not the way they did last night. No. This time it’s just for good measure, for her to know the depths of your love. The love you struggle to articulate pours out from your chest and past your lips into hers, and when you pull away, the look on her face is priceless. Oh the look on her face could melt the coldest of hearts.

A second of silence passes, just like that night, but this time it doesn’t matter. This time the urge to fill it doesn’t exist. “What’s on your mind?” She asks after a moment, softly caressing your cheek and looking at you like you’re something worth living for. And maybe you are. A breathy laugh escapes you before you respond, the memories of that night still fresh in your mind, “The night we fell in love.” It’s the only way you can describe that evening.

“Which one?” She asks, genuinely curious, and you find your heart beating just a little faster.

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