BA-HA-HA-HAAAA!

“No doubt about it!” Diana grinned. “I’ll go grab the paper work; be back in a flash!” And with that, she was off.

Shard was just grinning wide while he looked at the two. “We’re gonna have to set up visits so we can see each other! Or like, since you’re in another universe or whatever we’re calling it, we need to make it so that you can visit whenever, y’know?”

❝ I dunno, I think the portal machine in the lab will work just fine, braaawk! You should show me around here sometime, Shard. Back home’s kinda boring. Plus all the townsfolk come at me with pitchforks if I even look at somethin’ wrong, so it wouldn’t be a fun day off work. ❞ 

Now that was just what she needed to know, and the blueprints were nice to have as well. Handing the good leg back for him to re-attach Omega was surprised by all the old parts in here, especially that neck, going to have to ask how he did that later.

“How do you use scrap to make a new one? Melt the stuff down and forge a whole new part from it or do you do something else?”

If this fortress also included a factory they’d be able to get a whole lot more done than what they could do in this little yet cozy workshop. She’s been to a good number before but they were usually in places that she’d never be able to hold on her own, so she was unable to do much beyond blast them to the point of complete uselessness. 

“How much scrap would you need?”

How he did his neck? Well, that’s a secret. Not really, actually; each segment is detachable and modular. As long as he doesn’t drop his head or unplug all the cables at once, he’ll be fine.

❝ There’s a forge in the basement, but I think there should be enough scrap in that drawer to make somethin’ useful. I dunno how long it’s been since it’s last been used, though. ❞ 

its just that running a “more popular” canon character always tugs at me and eventually stops being fun, because everyone wants part of the pie, and i have a very difficult time saying “no” to people; then, when i DO say no, i feel really bad about it, but goddamn i need to set up boundaries somewhere. i don’t want to completely abandon scratch, but until maybe mid-May i won’t be doing very much on him. it’s the home stretch for my college semester, which is already pretty squashing without a whole, yknow, global fucking pandemic.

i would rather devote my energy to muses who are actually pretty strong vs whichever muse has stuff to do, so if you’d still like to interact with my characters, y’all can find me at tingethehedgehawk, bxttlekukku, and doctorfukurokov; their muses are all a lot stronger and more active than scratch’s! 

“I think you’re good,” she answered, looking over the Chao. “If a Chao has an owner, they tend to have like those paper bracelets while they’re here. But I’m not seeing one on this little guy.”

❝ D’you think I could... ah... adopt the lil’ fella? ❞ 

Taking the other’s leg and looking it over, Omega was honestly not quite sure what to do about the other’s joint issue. Setting the disconnected limb down she looked to the place it attached.

“If this joint is scraping this hard against itself I don’t believe some extra lubrication will do that much. Probably just lesson the noise while it takes more material away. But it wouldn’t solve the problem.”

This certainly would be easier if she actually had a blueprint to work off of. Her own zone’s Scratch may have been in her database but the information did not include anything like that. So she’d have to work with what they had.

“Take off the other leg so I can compare the two. If that one is not giving you any problems we can see what’s wrong with this one.”

Scratch now was a little reluctant, but he removed his other, good leg. The difference in the joints was almost night and day: the good leg was definitely a new, fresh part, likely custom made by Scratch himself. He opened a drawer on the workbench, pulling out a blueprint of one of his legs.

❝ Might as well have both t’look at. I’m outta scrap to be able to make a completely new one, but you might be able to replace the busted parts with whatever’s in the junk drawer. ❞ 

“Can’t say I’ve ever seen one of those.”

Or at least he was not that sure, having no idea what the term slapstick even meant. But if that was not enough to get an explanation, or better yet an example, out of the taller robot she knew at least one person that she could ask. If anyone knew it wold be her little chipmunk friend.

As she followed him hearing that noise coming from their leg was like claws on a chalkboard. It made her wonder if Scratch was unable to get oil for himself, which certainly would not be surprising given how most people tended to treat the doctor’s creations regardless of if they still worked for them or not.

“Sit down somewhere and take that leg off, so I can get access to the joint itself.”

Scratch pulled up a work stool for Omega to sit on, and hopped up onto the workbench, pulling out all the proper tools to remove the leg. The chicken didn’t even hesitate, as though he’d done this many times before. A handful of screws, nuts, and bolts later, Scratch popped off the problematic leg.

It didn’t take too close of a look to see the scratched (heh) metal, scraping against itself. The socket on his body was empty, only a few cables hanging in place.

Shard was in awe along with Diana, the two looking at each other. This was something they rarely see happen in front of them, but they quickly nodded. “Yeah, that Chao likes you a lot!” he replied. “Like…a lot a lot!”

“I don’t even think I got that lucky…” Diana muttered.

The Chao made some little chicken noises, Scratch clucking along. Chicken bot, chicken chao. He gave the lil’ Chao a hug, before looking over to Diana, an eyebrow raised. 

That all sounded completely crazy, but Robotnik alternates typically were madmen, which each one interpreting that same madness in all manner of different ways.

“I’ve been in plenty of fortresses but none of them had anything like this mess.”

She couldn’t imagine just how much time and effort goes into putting a system like this in place. This zone’s doctor must have been interpreting a great deal of that madness. Thinking about all of this almost made her forget the reason she followed the chicken robot back here.

“So do you want that lubrication now or later?”

❝ Feels like a slapstick cartoon in here, really. ❞ 

Scratch looked off into the distance. At least, what would seem like the distance to Megs, but was his perception of the fourth wall. The camera in The Office, if you will.

❝ Oh, yeah, that’d be appreciated. I’ll take ya to my workbench, it’ll be easier there. ❞ 

“Give us rarity or give us….a refund!” Diana cheered before pointing to Scratch. “Him. I approve of.” She looked liked she was going to say something else only for two Chao to flutter onto her head. “….oh right we’re in the Chao Garden.”

Shard cackled as she pulled the two Chao into her arms. “How do you forget where you’re working?!” he asked, watching her give Scratch one of the Chao. “That’s good. That’s awesome. I think I needed that laugh too.”

Scratch held the Chao, it suddenly changing from blue... To grey, yellow, and red! With a couple birdish traits, too. It clucked. A sparkle took hold in the Badnik’s eyes as he showed off the Chao.

❝ Hey! This one’s lookin’ and soundin’ kinda like me! Don’t Chao take on traits from people they like? Does this one like me!? ❞

That got her to jump, if Scratch were more familiar with E-123 Omega alternates he might have found the sight comical. To her relief the trap door closed before anything happened. Carefully walking over she tapped the spot a few times with her foot, going to have to be very careful while walking in here.

“Why don’t you fill them in?“

Seemed to be the simplest solution to this problem and anything, even common dirt, should work. A few ideas of what could be done with these spaces did come to her but Omega decided to hear their answer before offering them.

The trap re-opened when she tapped her foot against it, the chair falling entirely down and into the trap. Looks like he was going to have to fetch that back up from the basement... He sighed.

❝ They’re part of a long system of tunnels runnin’ around the fortress: some of ‘em are pretty useful to quickly get from an upstairs lab to the basement, while others just lead right into a dungeon, brawwk. Lots of ‘em cross over, so if I filled one in, it’d block another. They’re confusin’ at first, but you get used to ‘em after a while. I put red stickers on ones that lead to dungeons, baha. ❞ 

“Maybe someday you’ll get the whole thing down, would clear up a lot of space. If that’s actual gold and the people of this zone find that valuable you could even sell pieces of it off.”

She was not going to comment on the part about the pants, having absolutely no idea why anyone, Robotnik alternate or not, would have such a thing stored there of all places. How bizarre.

Entering the building the style was lost on her, having no idea what the 1990s even were, both due to never hearing the term in such a context and being created after such a period had long ended. Not that such a term even had any meaning within the zones she frequented.

“So you have this entire place to yourself?”

❝ You’re right about the gold, it’s how I’ve been keepin’ stock of oil. Just been a bit.... dry lately. A lot of the folks in town don’t like me— including the new pawn shop guy. C’mon, it’s been 20 years! I don’t blame ‘em though.... I hate Robotnik with a flamin’ passion, and it’s been decades, brawwwk! ❞

He took a seat on one of the chairs in the lounge.

❝ Ba-ha-ha-ha! I sure do, kiddo. Not half bad once ya clear out the traps and lasers and stuff! ❞

Speak of the devil; a trapdoor suddenly opened just behind the chicken, and closed. His chair tilted back, and he almost fell right in, but the door slammed shut, punting him up out of the chair, and the chair falling right on top of him. He bucked it off and stood up like nothing ever happened.

“…why am I also thinking of Gaia Online with that stupid avatar items with how that sounds?” Diana muttered. “…and the Neopet Paintbrushes…and any the loot boxes from the big title games-”

“Diana, stop promising your firstborn to all of these people!” Shard proclaimed before bursting into giggles. “Ok, that sounded really stupid coming from me.”

“I’m just saying that anything that involves real money to buy fictional things is basically giving up a firstborn child!”

“Says the lady that bought a freaking set of paintbrushes for a mobile game!”

Diana opened her mouth before closing it. “….ok fair. But those were hints I bought; if I have to pay more than 20 bucks for a cosmetic change, it’s not worth it. At least not to me.”

❝ Oh, yeah, lootboxes are bullshit. Especially if they’re in a game you’ve already paid for. I can understand paying for stuff in a free-to-play game; how else are the devs gonna get people to pay for the servers and staff, ba-ha? Subscriptions are out, real money poured into points or whatever’s in. What makes the devs think they can charge like, $10 a box though? If yer gonna pay that much, at least have good items in it, or have the common items be not a 90% chance or whatever. ❞

If Scratch had no idea on what she even was then he must have really been abandoned.

“My official designation was E-123 Omega. But I go by that less and less these days. I… don’t really have a name per say, not like an organic if that’s what you mean. But most people just call me Megs for short.”

Damaged as the statue may have been it matched one in her files. This zone seemed to be bringing up a lot of old information she had no idea she had. In a way it made her excited about what she’d run into around the next corner.

“You do that to the face? Nice work.”

❝ Megs? That’s a good name. Nice meetin’ you. I’ve gone by Scratch my whole life, never thought to change it. I like it a lot, ba-ha! I don’t have any other designations either. I don’t think when I was made we even got serial numbers. Wonder why anyone’s putting numbers on cornflakes anyway. ❞

They were almost to the front doors, and he reached a hand out to push them open.

❝ Ba-ha-ha-haaaa! You know I did, Megs. He left me here, so I wasn’t about to keep staring at his big ugly mug. Apparently he kept some of his laundry up there. Nothin’ like the sight of a bunch of flamin’ pants floatin’ down from the sky! Bahahahaha—HA! ❞