first women president

extremely fucked up that the only way out is through

Haters will imprison you inside a magic crystal and be like "If this seal ever comes undone the World will be plunged into Eternal Darkness and reality itself could shatter."

What are you planning on doing once you’re out of there?

Plunge the World into Eternal Darkness, maybe shatter reality if I feel like it

I’m in a nascar pit crew my job is to step up to the drivers side window and give the racer a kiss on the lips while the rest of the crew is changing the tires

lettin one walk on you is so brave but I bet it feels silly

oh my god i remember we’d get these all the time when i lived in north florida and i got stung by one once and i swear it was the most unpleasant experience. watch out for these little guise they’re gonna get you

Drank a cold red bull in a hot shower and now my mana is fully charged

I cast spell of put my clothes on

you're telling me a blunt forced this trauma