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i don't remember where i saw it, but didn't you say something about ben stokes giving phil salt a right lecture about dating and aussie? and yeah, they wouldn't have had much chance to know each other - but ☝️jos buttler and ben are very close! and jos has opened with salty for england, so they also would have some kind of bond formed, right? (besides, jos seems so sweet. he looks like he'd defend all his teammates.)

anyway, crack idea - ben drags salty off for a stern lecture on dating timmy, how it goes against the Principles of the Ashes, a brit dating and aussie is scandalous, basically blasphemy (we dial the drama up to 21) while salty is sitting there with his eyebrows raised like an insolent child. and Somewhere, mr Arrogant Tall Thing aka pat cummins is giving tim the same fucking lecture, fuelled by rage (while tim is trying not to laugh straight in his face.)

it's jos who finds ben and salty like, and is all "ben, is this strictly necessary," and ben is like "Yes." and salty is rolling his eyes even harder while jos tries to convince ben It's Not That Big Of A Deal. eventually, he gives up and is like "well, if you have a problem with david and salty, you're.... definitely gonna have a problem with who i'm dating too." "who?" ben demands.

"uh. well. .....shubman?

"....gill?"

jos huffs. "just how many shubmans do you know?"

ben opens his mouth. closes it again.

"well, fuck," salty whispers, borderline gleeful. "nice pull, mate."

jos turns to glare at him, slowly. "I'm trying to defend you and your fucking kangaroo, and you're mouthing off about another man? my boyfriend?"

meanwhile, guess who bursts in to defend timmy from cummins's wrath? your darling reggie. their conversation goes pretty much about the same. trust patrick to get increasingly pettier about it. he's escalated to threatening to disown tim (somehow) until josh throws up his hands and is like. "you know, cummo, i didn't want to tell you like this, but you're making this impossible. you have a problem with tim dating a brit? well, you're not gonna like who i'm dating."

tim's mouth drops open. "mate. you're actually gonna do it?"

"better not be another bloody pom," pat mutters.

josh's lips twitch. "much worse."

"who, josh?"

josh winces. "well. virat kohli?"

silence.

"you actually bloody did it," tim mumbles, a disbelieving laugh puffing from his lips.

pat blinks at josh, terrifyingly still. apex-predator still. "virat kohli."

"yes."

"you're dating virat kohli."

josh sighs, done. "i know you heard me the first time, cummo."

okay bye 👋have Fun 🦍🍑

hello jiiiiiii! what a familiar face i have in my inbox wah wah

sleep deprived or not i love all the ideas you put out ji i veel entertain them all for you at your beck and call always (kisne kahan i larve you hawwww false allegations)

yes yes i did say that about the lecturing bit in this post's comments here (it was actually @fortuna-majoris's idea and i only pointed out how maybe stokesy and phil salt aren't toooo close afaik)

and you're right!! jos and salty are the first pair of opening batsmen to score 1000 runs together in T20Is! they are definitely close to say the least (or at least i hope so, heh)

i don't remember where i saw it, but didn't you say something about ben stokes giving phil salt a right lecture about dating and aussie? and yeah, they wouldn't have had much chance to know each other - but ☝️jos buttler and ben are very close! and jos has opened with salty for england, so they also would have some kind of bond formed, right? (besides, jos seems so sweet. he looks like he'd defend all his teammates.)

anyway, crack idea - ben drags salty off for a stern lecture on dating timmy, how it goes against the Principles of the Ashes, a brit dating and aussie is scandalous, basically blasphemy (we dial the drama up to 21) while salty is sitting there with his eyebrows raised like an insolent child. and Somewhere, mr Arrogant Tall Thing aka pat cummins is giving tim the same fucking lecture, fuelled by rage (while tim is trying not to laugh straight in his face.)

it's jos who finds ben and salty like, and is all "ben, is this strictly necessary," and ben is like "Yes." and salty is rolling his eyes even harder while jos tries to convince ben It's Not That Big Of A Deal. eventually, he gives up and is like "well, if you have a problem with david and salty, you're.... definitely gonna have a problem with who i'm dating too." "who?" ben demands.

"uh. well. .....shubman?

"....gill?"

jos huffs. "just how many shubmans do you know?"

ben opens his mouth. closes it again.

"well, fuck," salty whispers, borderline gleeful. "nice pull, mate."

jos turns to glare at him, slowly. "I'm trying to defend you and your fucking kangaroo, and you're mouthing off about another man? my boyfriend?"

meanwhile, guess who bursts in to defend timmy from cummins's wrath? your darling reggie. their conversation goes pretty much about the same. trust patrick to get increasingly pettier about it. he's escalated to threatening to disown tim (somehow) until josh throws up his hands and is like. "you know, cummo, i didn't want to tell you like this, but you're making this impossible. you have a problem with tim dating a brit? well, you're not gonna like who i'm dating."

tim's mouth drops open. "mate. you're actually gonna do it?"

"better not be another bloody pom," pat mutters.

josh's lips twitch. "much worse."

"who, josh?"

josh winces. "well. virat kohli?"

silence.

"you actually bloody did it," tim mumbles, a disbelieving laugh puffing from his lips.

pat blinks at josh, terrifyingly still. apex-predator still. "virat kohli."

"yes."

"you're dating virat kohli."

josh sighs, done. "i know you heard me the first time, cummo."

okay bye 👋have Fun 🦍🍑

hello jiiiiiii! what a familiar face i have in my inbox wah wah

sleep deprived or not i love all the ideas you put out ji i veel entertain them all for you at your beck and call always (kisne kahan i larve you hawwww false allegations)

yes yes i did say that about the lecturing bit in this post's comments here (it was actually @fortuna-majoris's idea and i only pointed out how maybe stokesy and phil salt aren't toooo close afaik)

and you're right!! jos and salty are the first pair of opening batsmen to score 1000 runs together in T20Is! they are definitely close to say the least (or at least i hope so, heh)

ehehee - I was waiting for this one to be requested 😉

And sadly no, but this is just a list of one shots/WIPs that have sat as ideas only and not yet been started (or have been started ages ago and just left abandoned to gather dust looking at you Bowing Out). Fear not, there is still plenty of rootarc and stootarc in my plans 😏

---

Eighteen years he’d been trying. Eighteen years he’d been so close and fallen at the final hurdle. Eighteen years, and finally his blood, sweat and dedication to this team had paid off. Everything he had given to the Royal Challengers Bangalore, all the things he had sacrificed in the pursuit of success, and the trophy was finally theirs.

They were IPL champions. 

The moment didn’t quite feel real. He vaguely remembered the last ball. Watching Josh run in, knowing it was basically done despite the boundaries that had come from the over. One legal delivery would clinch it, even if it sailed over the boundary for six. And that it did, but Virat found he didn’t care. He didn’t even know where the ball had ended up. 

He was on the ground before he knew it, the scent of grass infiltrating his entire being and somehow grounding him as the arena around him erupted in sound. Almost so much he couldn’t hear a thing, face down in the grass finally letting himself believe, comprehend, understand. Just a few seconds. Just a few moments to let go of the restraint he’d been holding onto, finally let himself fall into the bliss of what it would feel like to be an IPL champion. 

Bodies were all over him, piling in, desperate to celebrate with him. And why wouldn’t they? Saying RCB is so quickly followed by his own name, and he’d managed to be in the team when they finally got their hands on the trophy. So many times the bridesmaid but never the bride, and now it was their time to throw the whole damn bouquet. 

Virat quickly lost track of who’s arms were around him. He recognises the distinct smell of Phil’s deodorant as he’s first dragged to his feet, cocooned by the Englishman as the first to give him his moment of respite. But it’s not right, not the right arms. Those come later, when they’re alone and it’s safe to let his guard down. When there aren’t cameras in his face and a billion screaming fans hungering for his reaction. AB is the one who nearly sets him over the edge, and maybe if this feat had come a few years earlier, at a time they were playing together, it would have been his embrace that Virat craved. Although the mission never changed, time had moved on from them, and it was now someone else’s arms that felt like home. 

Honestly, he was avoiding him. Only because Virat didn’t trust himself not to crumble as soon as they were in each other’s vicinity. But as the two teams started to move together, started the traditional post-game handshakes, Virat’s mind started to work in overdrive. Wouldn’t it be weird if he completely avoided him? That would look even more suss than if he’d run straight into his arms. They were on the same team for once, they could celebrate success together. But here, with everything still so raw, Virat wasn’t confident the floodgates would hold if he ended up in his arms. 

The choice was taken out of his hands. Virat had completely lost track of whose hand he was shaking, which teammate he was embracing, and before he knew it the soft cologne he’d pick out of even the most scent-filled perfume shop was climbing up his nose, drawing him in before he could resist. Arms had opened just like they always did and the tall frame of his boyfriend was wrapping around him. 

Josh always gave the best hugs. It’s like he had a hug for every occasion and he just knew exactly which hug Virat needed. Sometimes, in celebrating wickets or a great catch, it was a grounding hug. One that Virat absolutely sprung into, and Josh was there to set his feet back on the ground, reel in the emotional explosion. Other times, after a loss or a particularly bad knock for Virat, they didn’t seem special from the outside, but were inviting and drew Virat in. Even if they were in the middle of a batting innings and Virat just wanted to throw his bat across the room, there was Josh and his nonchalant hug, waiting as if he didn’t even realise it. Then there were the hugs that were exclusively for them, tangled in bedsheets when Josh held him like he was made of china, the most fragile and precious thing in the entire world. And perhaps Virat’s favourites, when Josh was lost to sleep but still his arms reached across the distance between them and drew him close to the other side of the mattress. Even if Josh was roasting, his subconscious wouldn’t let him be more than a mere inch away at all times. 

Just like every other time, Josh’s hug was exactly what Virat needed. His hold was tight and secure, offering a place of refuge to hide from the cameras and the crowds and the chants of his name. Safety. Protection. An understanding of exactly what this moment means to Virat, exactly what he’s put in to make it come true, and exactly what the batsman needs as emotions run rampant through Virat’s system. It was the thing Virat had feared most in an embrace with Josh and he can already feel the fragile walls of keeping it together vibrate with the strain of crumbling down. He could just fall, knowing Josh absolutely has him, and will hold him up and put him back together if he needs to.

The hug felt like a lifetime and no time at all. It was everything, too much and not enough. But as his arms slid from around Josh, separating them, he knew Josh understood what he was asking for without having to utter a word. I need this, but not right now. Now he had to stand strong, stand on his own, face the fans he’d given everything for and give them a little bit more of him. They would have their time in private, in silence, where Josh could delicately lay out each piece of him and experience every emotion together. And they would. 

Timestamps - 28:07 to 28:27

hi there! is it bad that i knew exactly which podcast this was going to be the second i saw the timestamp 😭

sorry i just have the 28th minute of this podcast memorised because what do you meaaaaaaaan starcy and hoff cuddle each other?!?!! starcy saves his hugs and cuddles for josh what the hell they are not even boyfriends-coded anymore. they're husbands.

ehehee - I was waiting for this one to be requested 😉

And sadly no, but this is just a list of one shots/WIPs that have sat as ideas only and not yet been started (or have been started ages ago and just left abandoned to gather dust looking at you Bowing Out). Fear not, there is still plenty of rootarc and stootarc in my plans 😏

---

Eighteen years he’d been trying. Eighteen years he’d been so close and fallen at the final hurdle. Eighteen years, and finally his blood, sweat and dedication to this team had paid off. Everything he had given to the Royal Challengers Bangalore, all the things he had sacrificed in the pursuit of success, and the trophy was finally theirs.

They were IPL champions. 

The moment didn’t quite feel real. He vaguely remembered the last ball. Watching Josh run in, knowing it was basically done despite the boundaries that had come from the over. One legal delivery would clinch it, even if it sailed over the boundary for six. And that it did, but Virat found he didn’t care. He didn’t even know where the ball had ended up. 

He was on the ground before he knew it, the scent of grass infiltrating his entire being and somehow grounding him as the arena around him erupted in sound. Almost so much he couldn’t hear a thing, face down in the grass finally letting himself believe, comprehend, understand. Just a few seconds. Just a few moments to let go of the restraint he’d been holding onto, finally let himself fall into the bliss of what it would feel like to be an IPL champion. 

Bodies were all over him, piling in, desperate to celebrate with him. And why wouldn’t they? Saying RCB is so quickly followed by his own name, and he’d managed to be in the team when they finally got their hands on the trophy. So many times the bridesmaid but never the bride, and now it was their time to throw the whole damn bouquet. 

Virat quickly lost track of who’s arms were around him. He recognises the distinct smell of Phil’s deodorant as he’s first dragged to his feet, cocooned by the Englishman as the first to give him his moment of respite. But it’s not right, not the right arms. Those come later, when they’re alone and it’s safe to let his guard down. When there aren’t cameras in his face and a billion screaming fans hungering for his reaction. AB is the one who nearly sets him over the edge, and maybe if this feat had come a few years earlier, at a time they were playing together, it would have been his embrace that Virat craved. Although the mission never changed, time had moved on from them, and it was now someone else’s arms that felt like home. 

Honestly, he was avoiding him. Only because Virat didn’t trust himself not to crumble as soon as they were in each other’s vicinity. But as the two teams started to move together, started the traditional post-game handshakes, Virat’s mind started to work in overdrive. Wouldn’t it be weird if he completely avoided him? That would look even more suss than if he’d run straight into his arms. They were on the same team for once, they could celebrate success together. But here, with everything still so raw, Virat wasn’t confident the floodgates would hold if he ended up in his arms. 

The choice was taken out of his hands. Virat had completely lost track of whose hand he was shaking, which teammate he was embracing, and before he knew it the soft cologne he’d pick out of even the most scent-filled perfume shop was climbing up his nose, drawing him in before he could resist. Arms had opened just like they always did and the tall frame of his boyfriend was wrapping around him. 

Josh always gave the best hugs. It’s like he had a hug for every occasion and he just knew exactly which hug Virat needed. Sometimes, in celebrating wickets or a great catch, it was a grounding hug. One that Virat absolutely sprung into, and Josh was there to set his feet back on the ground, reel in the emotional explosion. Other times, after a loss or a particularly bad knock for Virat, they didn’t seem special from the outside, but were inviting and drew Virat in. Even if they were in the middle of a batting innings and Virat just wanted to throw his bat across the room, there was Josh and his nonchalant hug, waiting as if he didn’t even realise it. Then there were the hugs that were exclusively for them, tangled in bedsheets when Josh held him like he was made of china, the most fragile and precious thing in the entire world. And perhaps Virat’s favourites, when Josh was lost to sleep but still his arms reached across the distance between them and drew him close to the other side of the mattress. Even if Josh was roasting, his subconscious wouldn’t let him be more than a mere inch away at all times. 

Just like every other time, Josh’s hug was exactly what Virat needed. His hold was tight and secure, offering a place of refuge to hide from the cameras and the crowds and the chants of his name. Safety. Protection. An understanding of exactly what this moment means to Virat, exactly what he’s put in to make it come true, and exactly what the batsman needs as emotions run rampant through Virat’s system. It was the thing Virat had feared most in an embrace with Josh and he can already feel the fragile walls of keeping it together vibrate with the strain of crumbling down. He could just fall, knowing Josh absolutely has him, and will hold him up and put him back together if he needs to.

The hug felt like a lifetime and no time at all. It was everything, too much and not enough. But as his arms slid from around Josh, separating them, he knew Josh understood what he was asking for without having to utter a word. I need this, but not right now. Now he had to stand strong, stand on his own, face the fans he’d given everything for and give them a little bit more of him. They would have their time in private, in silence, where Josh could delicately lay out each piece of him and experience every emotion together. And they would. 

The official manwhore of IPL...

(Also how does he have chemistry with almost every single player he has played with or against??? I have literally seen GOOD fanfic about GG x Virat??)

(also do Starc and Healy have an understanding of sorts that if it is an Indian, it is okay??)

I sent your starc-vi vlog to my friend and she sent me this screenshot!!!! I never knew 😭

Duffers and Hoff went for runs but got those important wickets at exact times!!!

ehehee - I was waiting for this one to be requested 😉

And sadly no, but this is just a list of one shots/WIPs that have sat as ideas only and not yet been started (or have been started ages ago and just left abandoned to gather dust looking at you Bowing Out). Fear not, there is still plenty of rootarc and stootarc in my plans 😏

---

Eighteen years he’d been trying. Eighteen years he’d been so close and fallen at the final hurdle. Eighteen years, and finally his blood, sweat and dedication to this team had paid off. Everything he had given to the Royal Challengers Bangalore, all the things he had sacrificed in the pursuit of success, and the trophy was finally theirs.

They were IPL champions. 

The moment didn’t quite feel real. He vaguely remembered the last ball. Watching Josh run in, knowing it was basically done despite the boundaries that had come from the over. One legal delivery would clinch it, even if it sailed over the boundary for six. And that it did, but Virat found he didn’t care. He didn’t even know where the ball had ended up. 

He was on the ground before he knew it, the scent of grass infiltrating his entire being and somehow grounding him as the arena around him erupted in sound. Almost so much he couldn’t hear a thing, face down in the grass finally letting himself believe, comprehend, understand. Just a few seconds. Just a few moments to let go of the restraint he’d been holding onto, finally let himself fall into the bliss of what it would feel like to be an IPL champion. 

Bodies were all over him, piling in, desperate to celebrate with him. And why wouldn’t they? Saying RCB is so quickly followed by his own name, and he’d managed to be in the team when they finally got their hands on the trophy. So many times the bridesmaid but never the bride, and now it was their time to throw the whole damn bouquet. 

Virat quickly lost track of who’s arms were around him. He recognises the distinct smell of Phil’s deodorant as he’s first dragged to his feet, cocooned by the Englishman as the first to give him his moment of respite. But it’s not right, not the right arms. Those come later, when they’re alone and it’s safe to let his guard down. When there aren’t cameras in his face and a billion screaming fans hungering for his reaction. AB is the one who nearly sets him over the edge, and maybe if this feat had come a few years earlier, at a time they were playing together, it would have been his embrace that Virat craved. Although the mission never changed, time had moved on from them, and it was now someone else’s arms that felt like home. 

Honestly, he was avoiding him. Only because Virat didn’t trust himself not to crumble as soon as they were in each other’s vicinity. But as the two teams started to move together, started the traditional post-game handshakes, Virat’s mind started to work in overdrive. Wouldn’t it be weird if he completely avoided him? That would look even more suss than if he’d run straight into his arms. They were on the same team for once, they could celebrate success together. But here, with everything still so raw, Virat wasn’t confident the floodgates would hold if he ended up in his arms. 

The choice was taken out of his hands. Virat had completely lost track of whose hand he was shaking, which teammate he was embracing, and before he knew it the soft cologne he’d pick out of even the most scent-filled perfume shop was climbing up his nose, drawing him in before he could resist. Arms had opened just like they always did and the tall frame of his boyfriend was wrapping around him. 

Josh always gave the best hugs. It’s like he had a hug for every occasion and he just knew exactly which hug Virat needed. Sometimes, in celebrating wickets or a great catch, it was a grounding hug. One that Virat absolutely sprung into, and Josh was there to set his feet back on the ground, reel in the emotional explosion. Other times, after a loss or a particularly bad knock for Virat, they didn’t seem special from the outside, but were inviting and drew Virat in. Even if they were in the middle of a batting innings and Virat just wanted to throw his bat across the room, there was Josh and his nonchalant hug, waiting as if he didn’t even realise it. Then there were the hugs that were exclusively for them, tangled in bedsheets when Josh held him like he was made of china, the most fragile and precious thing in the entire world. And perhaps Virat’s favourites, when Josh was lost to sleep but still his arms reached across the distance between them and drew him close to the other side of the mattress. Even if Josh was roasting, his subconscious wouldn’t let him be more than a mere inch away at all times. 

Just like every other time, Josh’s hug was exactly what Virat needed. His hold was tight and secure, offering a place of refuge to hide from the cameras and the crowds and the chants of his name. Safety. Protection. An understanding of exactly what this moment means to Virat, exactly what he’s put in to make it come true, and exactly what the batsman needs as emotions run rampant through Virat’s system. It was the thing Virat had feared most in an embrace with Josh and he can already feel the fragile walls of keeping it together vibrate with the strain of crumbling down. He could just fall, knowing Josh absolutely has him, and will hold him up and put him back together if he needs to.

The hug felt like a lifetime and no time at all. It was everything, too much and not enough. But as his arms slid from around Josh, separating them, he knew Josh understood what he was asking for without having to utter a word. I need this, but not right now. Now he had to stand strong, stand on his own, face the fans he’d given everything for and give them a little bit more of him. They would have their time in private, in silence, where Josh could delicately lay out each piece of him and experience every emotion together. And they would. 

@hazlehoff have a good day ;)))

The way patty's looking at hoffy #swoonworthy

HOFF LOOKS SO PRETTY HERE DOESN'T HE (when does he not though to me, hehe 😜)

also travis is a goner for joshy look at that look of love in his eyes

pat just cannot control his smile around hoff as we have already established