🔗

on the phone with god rn to make sure im not on his “strongest warriors” list again for 2024

gotta teach myself how to use a sewing machine so i can make the tshirt of my dreams

oh you meant like. the nintendo console. okay.

like I'm sorry but this is so funny it is causing me to lose my life. "we are all living through a global pandemic, nobody has any money, our democracies are horrifically morally bankrupt and our world is dying. here's how to break down spiritually in a palatable and socially-approved way!"

"Sorry, I'm afraid I can't have a meeting at 4 today because it conflicts with my crying session"

"Sorry, I have my weekly spiraling panic attack at 2pm tomorrow. Would Wednesday be okay for you?"

For anyone who’s wondering, that is a yellow spotted box fish. And they love human attention and have the personalities of small puppies. Also, if you stress them out they release a toxin that kills everything around them.

I am looking neither respectfully nor disrespectfully. I gaze without recognition of your form, and without understanding.

Me without my glasses

every now and then the internet decides it should revamp the ole “stop texting first and see how many friends you lose” when in reality you could literally just communicate that u feel bad that ur the only one texting first

mfs are legit assuming that their friend isnt texting first because of how little they care abt their friendship when in reality they literally just dont know ur upset and didnt realize there was a problem in the first place. just talk to ur friends its not that hard and if they’re a bitch just tell them to kick rocks