Character duo where one *remembers I donât like fitting characters into trope boxes* is a completely fleshed out and realised person *remembers treating characters as real people and not story devices written with intent is bad* who is written by the author and *remembers death of the author* uh. And *fumbles and drops my pile of queue cards* ah fuck wait no *the menacing horse* what was that.
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People who are making posts telling us what is happening over on threads, twitter, and Instagram are like war correspondents sending us reports from the front.
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Rian Johnson was a genius for creating a franchise where the conceit is a Sherlock-Holmes-style detective is paired with a new Watson every movie who is also the filmâs heart. It goes such a long way towards making each movie truly its own. I want a billion of these, Rian.
so many of the issues with acotar could be solved by not making them over 500 years old. literally make them like 100 maximum
rhys has done jack shit to improve his court - makes more sense if he was hardly a man when he becomes high lord and is imprisoned for 50 years
mor is still deeply disturbed by the hewn city - makes more sense if it only happened fairly recently
azriel still having issues with sleep, trust, trauma - makes more sense if it is recent and he's still adjusting to not being locked up
cassian struggling with being a bastard and commander - makes more sense if he's recently in the role and most soldiers still remember him as an orphaned boy fighting for scraps of food
they literally have no friends or contacts beyond their own incestuous group which would be more believable if they were younger and had been trapped in velaris for 50 years rather than being dinosaurs who nobody likes lmao
none of them have the wisdom or maturity to be 500 either
Easter egg for office workers: if you go onto Excel and press ctrl+left, then ctrl+down, you will reach cell XFD1048576. If you put a dot in there, then ctrl+A and fill every cell in black, you can then print 34 million black pages from your office printer and get fired
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So listen. On this humble Friday afternoon I have made the most delightful of discoveries. Let me begin by listing some facts:
Eris is named a total of 545 times in the series as it stands right now (I'm including acofas in this analysis.)
We are well aware that the series currently consists of five published books.
At the end of the fifth book (acosf) Azriel is 540 years old.
545 - 5 = 540 = Azris Confirmed
I'm happy to say that, with this painstakingly thorough analysis of the canon texts, we can rest easy knowing that Azris has been verified in the most scientific and indisputable of ways đ
it fucking sucks how you can do all the therapy and self healing in the world and you still have to wake up living under a capitalist death cult that's killed community and crushes your soul
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The Roommate Complication - Chapter 3 - Final Chapter
The third and final chapter of The Roommate Complication in available to read on AO3. This fic was written for the Tropes prompt for @gwynrielweeksofficial.
Today also happens to be NSFW day for @gwynrielweeksofficial. And this chapter just so happens to be slightly NSFW - no spice but a whole lot of steam.
I've had this Gwynriel roommate idea for a while and I'm glad that @gwynrielweeksofficial gave me the nudge I needed to write it. This story really could have been a full-length fic but I hope you feel I did it justice in three chapters.
If you missed the earlier chapters, you can catch up here. If you are ready to jump into the final chapter, you can do that here. There is a short preview below.
âWant help with those bags? It looks like you have a lot.â Azriel snapped the book shut and stood from the couch before she had time to react.
Gwyn studied him closely as he came toward her, feeling like she had read everything about him - everything about this situation - wrong. How much of his behavior was Az simply being nice, simply being a good roommate, and how much of it was because he had feelings for her?
Sheâd tried to get more information out of Cassian. But he had refused to say anything beyond those three words; telling her to go home and talk to Az if she wanted to know. Well, that was not entirely correct. Cassian told her that if he thought them living together had been a bad idea, he would have never asked Nesta to pass along the offer. Az liked her, but he was not about to scheme to win her affections.
Az likes you.
Mentally screaming at Cassian, Gwyn tightened her hold on her shopping bags at the same moment Az reached for them. So, instead of being able to take them from her, Azriel found himself tugging on them instead.
âEverything alright?â His face was etched with concern.
âAbsolutely,â Gwyn lied with a smile. âWhy wouldnât it be?â
Az likes you.
âWell, for starters, youâve said less than ten words since walking in here. You turned down my cooking. And you look wound tight enough to snap.â He ticked these three pieces of damning evidence off on his fingers as he spoke.
âIâm just tired.â
âEven âTired Gwynâ is still bubbly and friendly,â Az countered, cocking his head to the side.
He had learned her moods. Of course he had learned her moods. Just because Azriel was quiet, didnât mean he wasnât engaged. He saw everything; learned everything he could about a person.
Here's the next part of my fic for @gwynrielweeksofficial. You know how I said this fic was purely self-indulgent? Yeah, we're leaning more into that. The final part is supposed to be up tomorrow (for NSFW day), but... I'm not sure I'll have it up in time. In the meantime, enjoy Az and Gwyn as they reach the inn they'll be fucâ I mean, staying at.
Part 2/3 - Day 10: AU Day
Summary: Azriel is the last person Gwyn wants to spend her Winter Solstice with. But after asking him to drive her home for the holidays, his car breaks down and forces them to spend the night at a nearby inn.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Read a snippet below:
She could barely see Azriel in the darknessâamong the shadows that cloaked the space between them, swallowing any sliver of light. But she could almost picture his expression. The tight line of his lips. The near black of his eyes. The way his nostrils flared as she outstretched her palm and settled it against his chest.
âWhat the fuck, Gwyn?â
His heart was racingâshe could feel it.
âDo you think youâre being cute?â
âThat depends on if you think itâs working.â
âItâs not.â Azriel let out a low laugh, almost incredulous as he shook his head. âYou know, I shouldnât be surprised with your history of poor decision-making, but I really think youâve outdone yourself this time.â
âAnd why would that be?â
âBecause now I have to sleep on the floor.â
Gwyn hummed, stepping closer to Azriel. The movement left him shifting back until he was pressed against the door behind him. Beneath the palm of her hand, she felt his breath hitch.
âI thought your gentleman points were all used up for the day,â she said.
âThey are.â His voice was rough.
âSo, donât be a gentleman.â
âGwyneth.â No one had ever said her name like thatâlike darkness, like sin. âIâm sleeping on the floor.â
âAnd have you play the hero?â Gwyn scoffed, forcing out each word as her breaths grew heavy. âYouâll only use it as leverage in the morning. You take the bed, and Iâll take the floor.â
âNot happening, babe.â
Gywnâs fingers curved until they dug into the hard muscle of his chest. âDonât call me that.â
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