🦭

im just saying, if theater kid jason todd was your mother-assigned-babysitter for years, you'd be hella curious about what he has in his bookshelves . a precocious 8 yr old damian would pick up a worn out penguins classic of persuasion and suddenly barge into jason's room like "akhi! your books are witchcraft! why am i suddenly desiring to wriggle with joy after reading this!?"

all while jason is just: "??? its called??? fangirling??"

aot x dc crossover, but make it jason's dormant eldian genes suddenly giving him access to the coordinate bc of the underground mountain dew. throw in levi in there too bc im a sucker for ereri. a pit mad, angry, angsty teenage jason??? with access to many, many fucking knives??? in (mental) vicinity of a guy that killed 80% of humanity and the older guy who literally has a background in running notorious gangs in the underground and is the most proficient humanoid monster beheader in his time???

i imagine under the red hood being very, very different bc robin training in gymnastics and martial arts only amplified jason's skill in odm. im talking about revolutionary league engineered odm, and the fact that jason would definitely move too much like levi within the hella convenient cityscape of gotham, and fight like a mishmash of robin, league, levi, and eren. he'd basically be near impossible to identify using merely robin moves bc i very much doubt levi would let his new brat be predictable in hand to hand. due to levi's example, jason talks exactly like him, but somehow always speaks as vague and irritatingly assholish as eren.

the batfam are crawling up the walls in paranoia bc what kind of insane fucker would fuse katana sheaths, grappling hooks, and jet propulsion into a belt and use it to anchor into stone walls? why is he brilliant with that? why can't they recreate it? who the fuck is levi and how tf is he dictating this 'red hood' into sequencing a back kick to a spinning overhead kick within seconds in warehouses with literally signal blockers and no cameras?! (jason talks out loud to himself when in the mask. everyone will assume he has an earpiece on anyway) he assassinated a rapist by just lynching off the guy's nape while he swung by, that's insane. how tf does he never get dirt on that fucking leather jacket? who's "saint"??? is he the man in the chair? what does "i will eat your spinal cord" mean? is it a threat? a jest? is it a code for eren? is eren a meta? they once stalked red hood on a rooftop and saw him point to a centipede and said 'eren, its you. ' what does that mean!?

all while jason is in his apartment arguing with a hallucination levi like, "im sorry your teacup handle was trash but im not fucking holding mine like its a shot glass!... wdym why!? humans shed dead skin cells every second. im not drinking my tea with my dead cells polluting it!.. you dont get to form an opinion on why my teas are bagged and shredded when you fucking pulled me into the coordinate when the microwave beeped, old man!"

hallucination eren is the living room, reading the newspaper and plotting on breaking a bunch of human rights to tweak arkham asylum patients' genetics and memory into being as insane and carnivorous as normal titans without turning into titans. i mean, if eldian kings could make humans get the strengths of titans without turning them into one, he could definitely make humans have titans'n worst features. after all the shit that clown put jason into? yeah, eren is attached to his and levi's pseudo-son now, and god have mercy to anyone who'd dare to cross him again.

then when the confrontation with batman came up, its actually more brutal than canon bc eren definitely had his fun beating joker nearly to death via controlling jason's body for a while and bruce is horrified when joker wasnt even laughing anymore. he thinks jason already killed the joker, so he definitely flung that batarang with intent (and mostly out of anger but theres still intent), but it never landed bc

levi dodged and went feral. nobody fucking kills his brats ever again. not after eren.

the jiang TIC had to demand the lan sect healers to stay after the third time the wedding planner from the lan sect nearly died of cardiac arrest because the boiled cabbages had one pinch of salt.

the lan treasurer had to stop one of the jiang disciples from cutting down the 12th lan sect leader's favorite pine tree. no it does not matter that its dead and rotting from the inside, or that theres probably sentient mushrooms inside, its clan heirloom.

somebody frames poor jin ling by putting half empty jars of emperors smile in his dormitory room. jingyi knows its the lan disciples working on the songs to play on the wedding, but he snuck out with the jiang disciples to have midnight fried chicken and catch frogs in the forest so he cant say anything.

tanaka, flatly: earl phantomhive, your son is gay.

o!ciel and sebastian being themselves in the background:

vincent:

tanaka: your son is gay. your son is homosexual. who else is he meeting up with at 2 am in the morning?

vincent:

sebastian whispering in o!ciel's ear then smiling when o!ciel starts snickering:

tanaka, insistently: your son is gay.

r!ciel brooding and glaring murderously at sebastian:

then i watch campania arc and my monkey brain went kinda fond bc it did not register that theyre somehow mirroring rose and jack, just that these two chumps are showing affection to each other. awww.

now imagine a pleasant saturday morning, and loid is whipping up a salad for each of them. loid puts cashews and parmesan on top bc anya wouldn't eat anything vaguely vegan if there wasn't anything flavorful in it.

now theyre eating breakfast and anya is eating it with gusto, but then in a matter of around 15 minutes, anya has all but ceased chewing. not even a quarter of her salad was finished. loid asks what's wrong and anya is breathing painfully— "papa... papa i feel funny." and all hell breaks loose bc in a nanosecond loid is looking over his baby girl like theres a bomb on her he cant see. anya is quickly turning puffy and red and her lips are turning blue, so he coaxes anya to open her mouth and—

ah. anaphylaxis.

problem is they never once needed epipens bc anya never really had any allergic reactions to various foods he made. big mistake.

yor and loid basically ripped anya from the chair and terrorized the taxi into speeding 15 km past the speed limit, and yor is almost sobbing when they rushed anya to the er. loid however is turning more and more neurotic by the second bc wtf did he add in that goddamn salad to cause a severe allergic reaction!?

then the doctors say she'll be fine, she just needs to drink lots of water and avoid nuts in the future, and the forgers are baffled bc how the hell does anya of all people have peanut allergies? then apparently not all nuts, just tree nuts. apparently anya is allergic to cashews, which means shes advised to avoid pistachios, wallnuts, almond, and other tree nuts to avoid triggering anaphylaxis yada yada yada.

unfortunately little kakashi popped up in the future during a three-way team 7 spar in the forest of death, and to really traumatize him into thinking he got caught in the middle of murderous nins fighting in a terrorist-controlled konoha, he sees sasuke and naruto first. they were toppling the trees around them like they were grass and kakashi is getting tired.

suddenly he's being carried down like a sack of rice and the person holding him punched the fucking forest floor into a jungle scale replica of the crash site of the asteroid that killed the dinosaurs, and whatever he was protesting about died on his throat.

in a good way, bc apart from the terrifying strength (his hormones are making him hot) the person hauling him like he weighs less than a grapefruit, was the most gorgeous, green eyed, pink haired, scowling goddess of a woman he ever did see. (the hormones are understandable now).

dipper, probably drunk in their highschool grad party, through a swaying video of him seated on a table : dude i hate it when my girlfriend thinks that i'm gonna leave her all the time. 'oh you're gonna leave me bc im not good enough'—

dipper slams his phone at the center of the table where the wallpaper is literally a 0.5 selfie of pacifica in her debut

the whole table, drunk and probably high: goddamn. ur noodle arms pulling all that?

what im getting is: dick being caught so down bad that he forgets to pan the camera towards diana bc he was busy staring at bruce's tall, ripped, gorgeous grunge aesthetic main backup dancer with his cleavage out of that delicious black tanktop. then hal calls him out like "enjoying the view there? the stars is in the other direction."