𝓒𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮

Heeseung - stupid song

“And I want you more than any stupid song could ever say”

Heeseung never wrote a song for you.

It wasn't because he never tried to. Actually, he never tried anything as much as he tried to write you a song. But among the countless studio nights and the hundreds of lost drafts he made nothing was enough. Every love song he ever wrote just sounds too simple now.

And that saddens him, truly. For years he has written poems about the most random topics, and there's no way better for him to express himself than a blank papel and a pen in his hand. He's an artist. He's sure he should be able to write at least two verses for you.

But he never felt anything like that for anyone before. That's exactly where the problem begins. While most people think that "I love you" is a strong sentence that should be used carefully, he thinks it's too weak of a phrase. He needs a stronger word to be able to explain his devotion to you. No one created that yet, so it seems.

So heeseung sits down in his chair and tries to write something for you again. But nothing could quite compare to how you made his heart burn so much it felt like it was going to consume him at the same time it felt like that was the only thing that could heal him. You made him forgive all the mistakes he's done in his past because at least they all led him to you, but no word he knew explained that well.

Soon enough, he came to the conclusion that every artist lied. Every songwriter who made an entire album to their lover was either a whole different species or simply a liar. Or maybe, no one has ever wanted someone as much as Heeseung wants you. Maybe that's why no word, no song, no action can ever feel enough. And no one would ever understand how good it is to turn up the radio and laugh at love songs, because suddenly they all feel too little, too stupid now.

Jay - what's wrong with me

“Head just keeps on pounding with the simple thought: what if this isn't what I want?”

"So? What do you think?" Jay asked, anxious to know what his friend would think of the lyrics. It wasn't the first time he showed one of his songs to Sunghoon, nor was it the first time he wrote for - or about - you. But, for some reason, this particular song was making him feel more nervous than usual.

"It's... Good."

That was it. Barely a sentence and an awkward nod.

"I'm gonna need a bit more feedback here, Hoon."

"No, no, the song itself is nice." he said, the frown on his forehead contradicting his words "I liked it. Really."

"But?"

Sunghoon went quiet suddenly. He usually wasn't a man of many words, that much is true. But, this time, it felt like he did have something to say. He just was choosing his words with uncharacteristic caution.

"This song... It's about Y/n, isn't it?"

Jay nodded. "It's a love song. Who else would it be about?"

"Makes sense, I guess." the frown was back to his face "It's just that, I don't know. It seems pretty sad for a song with so much love."

That made Jay freeze. Not because he had to think of what his friend meant, but because he knew exactly what that was. In a single sentence, Sunghoon put into words what Jay was running away from for months.

His love didn't feel in love anymore. He knew it better than anyone.

Of course, he still loves you. So, so much. But lately, he hasn't been able to shut down the thoughts that overflowed whenever he looked at you: what if this isn't what I want?

Jake - less

“If loving me means saying 'babe, I think this is the end', I guess I wish I wish I wish you loved me less."

You weren't fine. And, even though you constantly tried to convince him otherwise, Jake knew you too well.

He knew what a true smile looked like on your lips. He knew how love shines in your eyes. He knew how anxiety would make you clench your jaw and how sadness would take over your voice. Above everything, he knew how exhaustion would look like when it came to you.

That's the sight he was the most used to now.

It came down to a point that he didn't know what else to do. He wanted you well. And he wanted to be with you while you thrived. But now more than ever, these two realities existing at the same time felt impossible.

After all, he fears that the phrase he had always hated the most was true. If you love someone, you gotta let them go.

"You know what, nevermind." You interrupted his thoughts, already heading to bed "Let's leave it at that. Why don't we solve it tomorrow?"

"We've been leaving it for tomorrow for quite a while."

"One more night won't hurt anyone, then."

You were already under the covers, turning to turn off the lights. You weren't even avoiding him, it seemed you were just trying to buy time. If you postponed it just enough, then maybe you'd be able to come up with another solution. Maybe you'd convince him to stay.

But that would only hurt you more.

"We need to talk." He tried once more, his voice breaking in a way he could barely recognise himself.

"Tomorrow."

"Babe..."

"I know what you're going to say, Jake. Tomorrow. I'll agree with you tomorrow." With closed eyes, you opened your arms. "Just come here tonight."

Few things can hurt Jake more than that. Because he truly wants to give in. He wants to believe tomorrow could be a better day for both of you.

But he loves you too much for that.

Sunghoon - honeybee

“But even when I'm quiet, I love you, baby, I promise”

Sunghoon wasn't really familiar with love.

He thought that, to be loved, you had to fight for it. He thought that he had to spend every second of his life showing that he was worth it. So, when you came with an open heart and free love, he wasn't sure what to do.

At first, he simply let you take the initiative. In a way, he didn't really believe in you in the beginning. Whenever he'd reach for your hand, he half expected it to be gone already. In days where he had no energy to hive, he convinced himself you'd go away. When the inevitable occurred and he made a mistake, he was so sure you'd think he wasn't worth the time. So he let you take the lead. He let you prove him wrong. So you did.

For the first time in his life, Sunghoon wasn't scared of losing someone he loves. Not in a way where he'd take you for granted, just in a way where he finally realised that he could be loved for the simple fact that he is... him. That was more than enough for you. And, for the first time, he felt at peace in love.

He didn't stress himself with trying to prove it. This new feeling allowed him to love quietly. His acts of love now were reaching for you in his sleep, accidentally failing to cook you something before you woke up and adoringly looking at you while you spoke. And you understood it. Through ever sleepy smiles awkward words and loving silence, he knew you understood the message most didn't.

So never again was he scared of losing you. But that didn't mean he didn't pray every night, hoping you both would stay together until the end. Not because he thought you'd leave if he didn't love loudly enough, or that he thought you'd hit the road at the first mistake he'd do. He just hoped because he knew he wanted to spend the rest of his life looking at you, memorising your every trait and appreciating how time would change you while still seeing the face he fell in love with.

The moment he got familiar with love - your love - he realised he'd never have to prove himself again. But he'd hope, and hope, and hope every day.

Sunoo - maggots for brains

“But that's just the thing that happens when my baby goes away."

You didn't think you'd miss Sunoo that much.

Of course, you were to expect a thing or two. The first time you had to sleep after he said goodbye, you almost laughed, because the pain was precisely what you thought it'd be. The lack of messages would be unfamiliar and finding his photos on your phone would be unbearable.

At least, you were expecting it.

The truth turned out to be way more painful.

It seemed that Sunoo was everywhere, in every single thing. Which was weird, considering he would never be there again. But you could swear that all ways led to him, even if you tried to ignore it. And God knows you tried.

Every outfit of yours scared you now, as they made his "you look amazing" comments echo in your mind. All of your favourite dishes were now just memories of him stealing your food. Every funny thing was something you wanted him to know. There was nothing left for you: nothing could replace all the thousands of memories you had of him.

Memories you had of the two of you.

Little by little, you felt like a zombie. You hadn't even noticed, but it was like your brain had turned itself off just to make sure you wouldn't have to think of him again. In the small glimpses of consciousness, you had found yourself looking at his number way more times than your dignity allowed.

You knew it was going to be painful. You'd feel lost, like a train off the track. You wouldn't even feel like yourself. But not in a million years you would've guessed that you miss him like that. And now, whether it be in the silence or in the chaos, you keep on wondering if you'd still have him if you knew back then that you loved him that much.

Jungwon - the cure

“But it doesn't matter how your love feels anymore, it'll never be the cure."

It was the fifth time in two weeks that you and Jungwon fought.

At this point, you didn't even know what you were fighting about. Whenever he'd start to talk, it seemed like he forgot you were even there. For most of it, it just seemed like he had a lot going on and had to let it out. Something that you'd have no problem with, if only his words were merely vents.

But it seemed like he was spitting poison.

You thought reassurance would be enough. You loved him and could show it at all times. However, time goes by and it seems that his doubts only grow. No matter how much logic, comfort or love you put into your words and actions. Jungwon had already pushed the self destruction button a long time ago.

"...you know I love you, right?"

Jungwon didn't answer, not at first. All he did was to sit down on the edge of the sofa, his head down so you didn't see his red eyes. But you could see the water stains in his shirt that came all the way up from his eyes. You saw how his hair was messed up from how much he ran his hands through it. You could even hear his shaky breath.

Slowly, he nodded.

"So," you breathed in, your throat hurting with the weight of the words you were trying to say "you understand that if I'm leaving, it's not because I love you less. It's because I don't think that what you need right now is my love. Right?"

At that, his head fell even more, his hand coming up to cover his eyes. He hoped you hadn't heard the heartbreaking sob he just let out. Once more, he simply nodded.

You stepped closer to him, as lightly as you could. When you put your hands on his cheeks, he didn't look up. He couldn't dare to. Still, you wiped his gears, hoping that could lighten his heart. At least a little bit. One last time, you kissed his head:

"I hope you can find the cure soon enough."

NI-KI - drop dead

“the most alive I've ever been, but kiss me and I might drop dead."

"Oh, so this is where you disappeared to."

You turned around to see Niki coming to you with his usual grin. Even though you had made peace with the fact you have a crush on him, the simple sight of him was enough to make your breath hitch.

You were so screwed.

"It's been that long? I've been meaning to use the bathroom, but Jake can't seem to get out." You gestured between the two of you and then at the locked door next to you "It even formed a bathroom line."

"I'm not gonna use the bathroom. I was just looking for you."

Like magic, you felt your face get heated at that. God, even the stupidest things or the most casual comments made you all dizzy. You hated to have a crush. Even more than that, you hated to be aware of it.

He didn't seem to get the hint, though:

"It's getting late too. I could walk you home..." his voice lowered, like he had rehearsed this in his head a thousand times but lost confidence the moment he tried to say it "if you want."

You smiled. A big, shiny and this-will-hurt-my-cheeks smile. "Yeah, of course. I'd love that."

He nodded, trying to hide a smile of his own. It was so clear none of you knew what you were doing, both walking into unknown territory. But when he looked at you and you saw his eyes go down to your lips for a millisecond, and how he seemed to lean towards you slightly, you swear you had never felt more alive.

That is, until Jake opened the bathroom door. Then suddenly you wanted to die.

"Sorry," he interrupted, clearly not reading the room "you can use it now."

"Yeah, sure. I'll - I will" you pointed at the bathroom, avoiding everyone's eyes. Niki thinks you murmured something after that, but he didn't catch it. You locked yourself behind the door way too fast for him to understand it.

"What happened?" Jake asked to no avail, as the only answer he got was Niki letting his smile finally show up while he threw himself over his friend, silently celebrating like he had just won the world cup.

It seems you weren't the only one with trouble at hiding your crush.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: they listen to your break up song

Daily click

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @greentulip @firstclassjaylee @queenofdumbfuckery @lezleeferguson-120 @enhacolor

Dividers by @cafekitsune | images 1, 2 and 3

Heeseung - call it the end

“Do I call you every night you’re gone or never call you again? Do we have a future or should I call it the end?”

Is there a limit to the amount of regrets one can have in a lifetime? Because Heeseung is pretty sure he already reached it.

After all, he made mistake after mistake with you. He had all the opportunities and still messed up. He was low-key hoping you would find the true love of your life and would scrub it in his face, just to show him what he lost.

Because damn, he lost way too much when he just let you go.

And he likes to believe what you two had was real. Where is the confusion, though? You had literally written an entire album for him. Every song was just you singing your heart out because of his mistakes. Obviously you had felt something during the time you were with him.

So the only way it wouldn't be real was if he didn't feel anything. But he did. Maybe even a little bit too much, he would say. He just didn't know what to call it, but he knew he had feelings for you and that they were huge.

In the present. All of this was happening in the present. He still had feelings. Even with your break up (can it be a break up if there's no true relationship to begin with?) and the songs, even if it supposedly came to an end, his feelings were still there, hanging stubbornly. He still loves you.

Oh. There was it.

Maybe the name of the feeling was love. Heeseung pauses at the realisation. All that you ever wanted to know was what was going on between the two of you. "Do I call you my ex or do I call you my boyfriend? Do I call you a lover or do I call you a friend?" The one question he disliked the most. "What are we?"

He hated it with all his guts before, but now he was dying to answer it. Because he knew it now. He really wanted to answer you now.

It was ironic, to say the least. The moment he finally called it love, you were already calling it the end.

Jay - 3am

“I just saw a red flag. Gonna pretend I didn’t see that Cuz is it really really that bad? I need you really really that bad”

Was it really that bad?

Jay knew you both weren't perfect. Gosh, it couldn't be further from that. Still, he would've never imagined it was that bad.

I mean, even with all the arguments and incompatibilities, you still laughed around him. You still called him whenever something went wrong. You still confided in him when you felt like crying. It was always him. He was the one who was always with you.

He is still a bit in shock. He was aware that you deserved more than him, or at least more than he could offer you at the moment. But it's 3 am and Jay is wondering if he was able to do more. He would never be an angel, but he could've at least tried.

Apparently you were put through hell because of him. And maybe your friends had warned you a bit too much about your relationship. Your mother not liking him wasn't because she was hard to please. The entire world rolled their eyes to your relationship but he thought it was okay.

It wasn't. It most definitely wasn't. You both just dated for that long because you desperately wanted it to be him. You wanted him to be the one. The things love makes you do are never simply explained. And they are never easily seen. Maybe that's why he took so long to understand it.

He wished he had been a little more attentive back then. You both ignored the problems for the sake of the relationship. Had it been slightly different and maybe your mother would've liked him in the end.

Jake - not the same

“We had light on our side, but you messed up and you know that I’m right. I don't know who you're kidding babe, you’re not the same”

Well, Jake can't say he hasn't been warned. He made Heeseung listen to your album first in case it wasn't a good idea for him to listen to the break up songs.

"Did they say anything bad about me?"

"Not bad, no" the older boy replied "but I don't think you'd want to listen to it."

But of course Jake had to just ignore it and play the album anyways. In his defence, he missed your voice. Even if you were going to criticise his entire existence, at least he would hear you.

But Heeseung was right, he shouldn't have listened to the album. And you were right as well, it was all Jake's fault in the end.

He had absolutely everything. He had time, still didn't call you. He had sunny days but didn't take you on dates. He had you. God, he had you out of everything and he still managed to waste it.

Maybe it was work. Perhaps his mindset for the job wasn't as good as he thought it was. He had told you that nothing had changed but you replied quite a few times that it wasn't the same. And it wasn't indeed. He messed up. You warned him. And of course, you were right.

You were always right.

It didn't feel fair though. He's the one who screwed things up, he should feel lucky you didn't mention his name in the song and dragged him down. He would've deserved it. You were too nice even in your break up song. But he was still feeling a bit wronged.

"Did letting me down get too tiring?" Is what you asked. That wasn't right. He hates himself for making you feel like you were anything like a burden, that he got exhausted into the relationship. He loved you for every bit of what lasted. He didn't want it to end. He wasn't tired in the slightest.

He didn't deserve you and he didn't know who he was trying to convince, but he didn't want you to doubt that he loved you.

Oh he wished he could go back in time. He would go back to a place where things were still great, still the same.

Sunghoon - too bad for us

“I guess that love does what it wants and that’s just too bad for us”

Sunghoon liked to think your break up was friendly. It just didn't work out. Things like that happen in the industry a lot; love wasn't simply enough.

But that was play pretend. He knew it wasn't true. Your break up was civil, yes, but it wasn't friendly. Not at all,because if it was, it wouldn't hurt that much. The way his heart aches for you even now is not very friendly.

But what happened between the two was just out of reach. You both were mature enough to admit that the beautiful castle you both created for your love just cracked down. Now it's just an ugly, devastated place. And that's too bad.

He really, truly wanted to believe it. It is what it is. He is not that big, he cannot control destiny or feelings. He was just a human who was living by, so were you. He had to just accept it and move on. Pretend it was friendly. Put a smile on his face and support you as a coworker.

But here he was falling for you all over again. This time was different though, considering he knew the feeling. He knew how good it was to be cherished by you. What he doesn't know is how he is supposed to just live without it.

"The music is not as good when you're alone." You were right. When he was just by himself, accompanied by the memories, the songs were just a painful reminder that life with you was a melody. Now it's just empty.

Maybe he should keep it friendly. Love died, or at least it was supposed to. Keep it that way.

He couldn't.

"Congratulations on the album, it sounds amazing" is what he said in the message he sent you "I hadn't realised how bad I missed your voice."

Sunoo - stay a little longer

“Please won’t you stay, stay a little longer babe. Don’t walk away, when I’m here calling your name”

Sunoo made the mistake of walking away from your life, and now he was one step away from making the mistake of calling you at midnight.

Your solo album had just been released and he had promised he wouldn't see it. He knew you were a songwriter, he knew he was gonna be the subject of at least one song. But he thought he was gonna be cussed at. He never expected one of the songs to be named "stay a little longer". Now he just had to know what it was about.

Honestly, he kinda would've preferred if you had badmouthed him. If you said he was a horrible person, an idiot, a waste of your time, he would've just accepted it. But you said you missed him. You asked him to stay. You asked him to not walk away.

He thought you were going to be okay, but he doesn't think he ever saw you this vulnerable. This fragile.

"Make a mistake so there's someone to blame." That's what you were singing about. With your song on repeat, he was truly pondering if he should make one last mistake.

Just one call when he shouldn't. Just one more mistake and maybe you would come back.

Jungwon - two years

“It's been two years and you're still not gone. Doesn't make sense that I can't move on. I try but this love never dies”

He never thought he would feel hope when listening to you singing about the break up, but here he is.

He shouldn't feel like this. It's been two years since you last loved each other. By now, the feelings were supposed to be dead. But he couldn't let go of the thought of you. Every time he saw your group in some headline, or when you had to share a stage, or when he allegedly stalked your insta account. Two years weren't enough for him to heal.

He was glad, in lack of better wording, that you felt the same.

You were singing about him. Two years later and you were singing about him, your story with him. That brought him a hope that wasn't supposed to be there. The pain in your voice was enough to crack his heart entirely. However, you said it yourself. "I can't move on." He was clinging to that line like it was his lifeline.

"This love never dies." Your words, not his. He wasn't making it up on his head. You felt the same.

The more he listened to the song the more he had to hide his smile. He felt terrible for smiling through such a sad song, but he couldn't stop thinking about all the possibilities of you still loving him.

You said you couldn't let go of him. Well, maybe you didn't have to. He was willing to make you see this.

Niki - number one girl

"so what's gonna take for you to want me? I'd give it all up if you told me that I'd be the number one girl in your eyes"

Niki couldn't help but feel like the most stupid guy on earth right now.

Looking back on your entire relationship, he couldn't understand how he was so clueless all the time. It was crystal clear. Listening to your song, he sees it now: he only lost you because he wasn't even there to look at you to begin with.

You were feeling lonely. And you tried so hard to make him see you even though he never did. You just wanted him to be with you, take care of you, compliment you. It wasn't much. You were only asking for love.

And Niki wasn't able to give it to you.

"Tell me that you need me" he needed you. He needed you before and he needs you now. He should've said it.

"Tell me that I'm loved" you are so damn loved that he didn't even comprehend the proportions of his feelings for you. He should've said it.

"Tell me that I'm worth it and I'm enough" you were. You were so much more than just enough. He saw every good and great thing that this world could offer and still you were the closest one to perfection. He should've said it.

In the end, he should've said thousands of things but dared to say none. You thought he didn't want you and he couldn't even blame you. The pain in your voice while you sang was enough to show how you were dying to hear any good thing that came out of his mouth, still he didn't notice back then. He was too late.

He wished you knew you were always and still are the number one in his eyes. But for you to know that, he should've said it first.

Masterlist I you'll probably like: songs they've written for you

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @greentulip @firstclassjaylee

Minho was used to having airport crushes.

Sometimes he'd be in line while admiring someone in front of him. Some person checking their baggage. Random people drinking overpriced coffee. Even some fan waiting for him, maybe. It was normal. He liked to think that it was even part of the nature of his job.

However, those crushes would last minutes at most. He'd see somebody, think "cute", walk away and never see them again, not even give a second thought to it. But he never experienced being stuck with his airport crush for 12 hours and thirty two minutes. Though, given his luck, he's not surprised the prettiest person he ever met was his assigned flight attendant. Of course.

"Why are you pretending to sleep?"

"I'm not pretending to do anything."

"So you talk in your sleep now? Good thing you're an idol. You would've gone bankrupt by now if you were an actor."

Lee Know opened his eyes to glare at his friend, Hyunjin, who was obviously having the time of his life.

"What do you want?"

"Nothing, I'm just watching." Hyunjin replied amidst the chips he was eating "You avoiding Y/no is pretty entertaining. It's like watching animal planet."

Minho closed his eyes again, sighing in annoyance. "Who even is Y/n?"

"The flight attendant? How come you don't know the name of your own crush? They have a huge name tag with their name on it."

That made Minho reopen his eyes real quick.

First, to hit Hyunjin. Second, to make sure you didn't hear nor say anything. Third, to check if that really was your name.

You were refilling Jeongin's glass with water, a huge smile plastered in your lips. And a tag with Y/n L/n written on it. Shoot, he really missed that.

"Was their smile so blinding you couldn't even read their name?"

"I'm never sitting next to you ever again." Minho replied, stealing the chips from his band mate. More three hours until the end of the flight. He was going to die.

"You should just talk to them. All that fan service and you still can't flirt?"

Maybe he'd kill Hyunjin first and only then die. That felt more like it.

He looked at you once again. You were breathtaking, it was genuinely unfair. Soothing voice, the posture of a miss universe and that goddamn smile. He's sure you alone brought a lot of loyal clients to your airline. At least he knows that he for sure would pay a couple of bucks on a flight just to see you again.

And then you turned away from Jeongin, heading to the end of the corridor. Also known as where he was.

"I'm going back to sleep." Minho closed his eyes before you noticed him looking at you "Don't talk to me."

"You're such a loser."

"Shut up."

For ten hopeful yet foolish seconds, Minho expected everything to be okay. He could fake sleep, you'd pretend you believed him because you were professional and nothing else would go wrong. But for that, Hyunjin would have to be quiet.

"Y/n! Can you come here, please?"

Oh, damn him.

Minho opened his eyes only to see you pushing your cart towards him while Hyunjin was grinning like the devil, folding a small piece of paper. There was no time to strangle his friend, Lee Know had to run away immediately. The moment he tried to get up to go to the bathroom, you were already next to him, making him stumble back to his seat.

That was the worst day of his life.

"Hi, Y/n!" Hyunjin said happily. Way too happily. That could not be good. "Can you give me another bag of chips? My friend here just stole mine."

You just giggled lightly (your laugh was prettier than every song he ever listened to) and nodded, offering a new package to Hyunjin.

Okay. Maybe that was it. There was this low, nearly impossible, chance of Hyunjin not teasing Minho this one time. Maybe he really just wanted food. Maybe he was going to let it pass and-

"Thank you! And this" he gave you the small paper he was holding, shortly looking at the older man while doing so "is for you. Maybe check it out after your shift is over."

And then proceeded to wink at you.

He was so dead meat.

You seemed confused, to say the least, but politely smiled and put the paper in your pocket before going to the other sector of the airplane.

The moment you were gone, Minho got up to find the best angle to hit Hyunjin.

"What the- Why are you hitting me?!"

"Why did you do that??" Minho replied a bit too loudly, not caring that he accidentally woke Felix up.

"You weren't going to do so yourself!"

"Me not doing anything didn't mean you could flirt with them in front of me!"

"What?! I wasn't - stop hitting me! - I wasn't flirting! It was your number in that paper!"

Minho's hand freezes in the air, his eyes getting slightly bigger "what?"

Hyunjin sat straighter in his seat, side-eyeing Minho while trying and failing to open his bag of chips.

"I wrote your number on the paper and gave it to them. I also wrote that it was your contact so they wouldn't misunderstand it. I try to make a good action and this is how you thank me, really..."

Lee Know stopped paying attention to his friend's rant after that. You had his number. You could text or call him any time from now on. You both actually had the chance to talk to each other.

But maybe you'd forget it. You could be not interested. You could find him creepy. God knows what would happen now. So he was trying his best to chill and not overthink it.

However, the moment the boys were getting out of the plane and your team was biding them goodbye, he is pretty sure the smile you gave him was bigger than the one the others received. And when he looked at Hyunjin and he was nodding proudly, saying something about how the lunches were worth it, Minho is already thinking how he'll apologise to him if, when, you send a message.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: It's a secret

Daily click

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @sleepyleeji @jinnie-ret @sheraayasherrecs @rockstarkkami @urlocalmultigroupfan @aeinzzzketchup @queenofdumbfuckery @sarita-sunday @lezleeferguson-120 @chimmyn0chu @sspersonally @enhacolor @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx

Dividers by @/knightlittle | images 1, 2 and 3

Heeseung

Showering together:

Obviously in a nonsexual way

Just as a way to be there for each other

Intimacy and trust

It started when he came back home way too tired and you offered to wash his hair for him

He was almost sleeping while you were helping him

But he felt so loved, so safe

And since then, it's just tradition at this point

You guys washing each other's hair when one is too tired to properly function

Sometimes taking full baths together

His favourite part is definitely getting to dry your hair

If your have a specif hair routine, he would love to do it for you

Trust ☝🏻

Playing games together:

This can go two ways

If you already know how to play, he'll be SO happy

Anything is an excuse for him to game with you

"I don't have a schedule today so we should play"

"I'm between schedules so we should use this time to play"

"I literally shouldn't even be talking to you but hey- wanna play?"

That's how it goes

But if you don't know how to, he'll be more than happy to teach you

Gives you the remote and covers your hands with his to teach you

Finds it cute when you're stressing over what to do

Even when you just broke his car for the fifth time on cyberpunk

Genuinely likes to just be next to you, playing and laughing together on the same couch

If it's a 1v1 game, he might lose on purpose to let you happy

Jay

Cooking together:

Everyone saw this coming

Like please

One of his love languages is cooking for you

Whenever you're too tired or busy to cook for yourself, he does it for you

Sometimes he does it just because

And although he loves to be there to cook for you

He has to admit he likes it more when you're there with him

Just you and him cooking something together

A song playing on the background

Him taking your hand and spinning you around when the food is on the stove

You hugging him from behind when he's chopping the vegetables

Moments like these make him think that this is what love is supposed to be like

Watching the sunrise/sunset:

This is so old married couple core

But he loves it so so much

I mean, just picture it

You guys drinking coffee/tea/whatever together

Sitting down in the balcony

The sun setting down slowly

You talking to him about anything and everything

The golden sunreys hitting your skin delicately

And he's just admiring you

Just... happy to be alive and with you

He gets to see you like this

Happy, healthy, in love and with him

He just feels so lucky

Like he could do this every day

And if that's a decision he can make, he'd genuinely choose to do so

Jake

Taking the long way home:

He likes to pick you from your classes/work

Especially if it's late at night

Because of safety reasons, of course

But also because that means he can spend a little while with you

And he particularly loves when it's getting dark and the world is quieting down

When it feels like it's just you and him

If it's too far from home, he'll drive you

But if it's close enough, he'd like to walk by foot

He's taking all the time he can get with you

He's also not wasting any chance to hold your hand and have you walk close to him

Tying his tie:

Since he started dating you, he also started wearing more ties

He's always trying to wear them now

Even if he's risking looking too formal on an event

Simply because he never puts his tie on by himself

You always help him

And this habit of yours started by accident

He truly didn't know how to tie a tie first

You didn't know either, but you tried to help

And then you got to be way too close to him

You smiled when you messed it up and he held you by the waist

After that, he realised that he needed to have you close, helping him get ready like this way more times

Now he knows how to tie his own tie

But it doesn't matter

Because he'll always approach you with a smile and a "can you help me?" speech

Sunghoon

Late night calls:

That happens every time you guys are apart

Especially when he has late schedules or is on tour

He needs to talk to you at least once a day

So when the day is particularly busy

He still will find at least five minutes just to call you

Tries to call you every time before you go to bed

He wants to wish you a good night and hear what your day was like

Even if time zones are in the way

And if the only time he can call you is like 3 am for him

He'll still do it

He truly can't go a day without hearing your voice

Really specific scenario idk how to sum up:

Sunghoon with glasses, right

We all agree with that

Now imagine sunghoon accidentally sleeping with his glasses on

On the sofa, for example

He was watching a movie with his glasses on and accidentally fall asleep

And you go and take his glasses off

He swears it's the same feeling of when he was a child and his parents would take him to his bed after he fell asleep on the living room

It's something so small but it makes him feel so loved

He starts doing this on purpose sometimes

He wasn't even wearing his glasses, but now that he'll try to sleep he'll put them on

And every time he feels you taking his glasses off, he needs to hold back a smile

Sunoo

Watching movies together:

His ideal type of date if we're being honest

He loves to go out with you and do fancier things

Or things that are a bit more adventurous

But a movie date has never failed before

He loves to be with you under the blankets

Organise a movie marathon that both of you know you aren't going to complete

And just watch the same movie you both have watched at least thirty times now

It's very classic, maybe a bit predictable

But it makes him so, so happy to share a moment like this with you

His favourite part?

When you fall asleep on him

He might wake up with back pain the next day

But it's so worth it

Having lunch together:

I feel like he would love this

Bring able to share at least one meal every day

Even if the schedule's too tight or if you're apart

As long as you both are in the same country, he thinks it's totally reasonable for him to meet you

Just so he could have lunch with you

There are times where he goes to your campus/work place

And there are other times where he invites you to the company

On luckier days you both are able to go to a nicer place

But sometimes, all that is left for you two is to eat a sandwich and drink half a bottle of juice in ten minutes

No matter the circumstances though, he's always happy to just be with you for a while

Talk a little, eat something good, maybe walk around for a bit if possible

It brings him this domestic sense of peace, like he found a home that isn't a place

Jungwon

Cleaning together:

This is like really really domestic

But imagine like

You both cleaning the dishes together

He washes it and you dry it

And every other task as well

Cleaning the living room together

Folding clothes together

Just doing whatever needs to be done together

Doing it while you talk about the new movie that is coming out on theaters next week and you wanna see it

Or about a funny moment with the boys earlier

Or about something that your friends told you

Just casual conversation

With domestic actions

Those are the highlights of Jungwon's days tbh

Where he gets to be just a normal person living a normal life

You make him feel at ease like this

Waking up early:

Because of his job, he needs to wake up at really early hours sometimes

And at the beginning, he insisted that you could keep on sleeping

But you always insisted on waking up with him

He tried his best to be as silent as a ninja so you could rest a little more

But no matter what, you'd always try to wake up early as well

Just so he had company during the first hours of the day

So that led you both to eat breakfast together at two am, just a few minutes before the staff came to pick him up

At first, he felt a bit guilty for keeping you awake at the most insane hours

But then you smiled at him so brightly that he wondered if the sun wasn't visiting him a bit earlier this time

And now this is one of his favourite moments:

To spend a little while with you, away from the world, experiencing your love

NI-KI

Shopping together:

Lowkey one of his favourite dates ever

When you and him just go to any shopping mall

And you just go buy stuff

He doesn't need anything else to be happy

Loves when you find clothes for him

He likes to see how focused you get trying to find him a shirt he'll like

And he also loves to buy you stuff

Gets genuinely so happy when he sees that you like whatever he chose for you

Maybe even matching stuff

I can see him buying subtle matching stuff

And he just gets so giddy and happy overall

Like, let's say he bought you guys matching keyrings

And then he sees you having it on your backpack the next time you guys meet

Something so simple that gets him so happy

Alone together:

Sometimes, he needs quieter days

Where he barely talks and where he feels like the world has decided to be a bit more silent too

But he always wants you around for this

So it comes the idea of alone together

Where each of you is doing something by yourselves

But still in the same room

Quality time, if you will

Sometimes he's drawing something

And you're reading a book

And it's been so long that you think that, if you were to speak, your voice would come raspy

But your head is on his lap

He has a tiny smile on his lips

And it feels like the universe has finally found its equilibrium

It feels like what life should be like

Masterlist | you'll probably like: when they have a crush

Daily click

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @greentulip @firstclassjaylee @queenofdumbfuckery @lezleeferguson-120 @enhacolor

Dividers by @enchanthings-a | images 1, 2 and 3

Yeonjun

“Real sweet, but I wish you were sober”

Drunk words are sober thoughts, or that's what they told you. It comes down to a point where you don't know if you wanna believe it or if you'd rather pretend you never heard this saying. After all, if that was true, you wouldn't know what to do with it.

Yeonjun is your best friend. Has been for years. Through the lows and highs of life, you have been attached to each other like glue. So you truly think nothing could break your friendship.

With the exception, of course, of those damn feelings of yours.

Your sober thoughts, or at least that's what you call it for now, are the ones that scream that you love Yeonjun in ways a simple friend doesn't. No amount of alcohol could verbalise this, though. You sometimes think that they couldn't take this confession out of you even if your life was on the line.

You wouldn't dare lose him like that.

But maybe he doesn't think this way. Maybe he's not as cautious, if not paranoid, as you, or he just doesn't care that much. Or, the most probable one you love to ignore, he is just weak when he's halfway his second drink.

Whatever the case is, he talks a lot when he's drunk. Enough to compensate every word you refuse to let out. Funny enough, his drunk words are very, very similar to your sober thoughts.

And that scares you.

He says things that are way too sweet. No teasing, no joke, no flirting even, it doesn't even seem like he realises what he says. Soft voice and glossy eyes make the death of you when he says everything your heart already let you know months ago. He shamelessly says everything you cowardly don't.

But the bravery never goes along for too long. Soon enough he is blacked out on his sofa and, when he wakes up, he just complains of a headache and asks you if you want something to eat.

He never owns any of his previous words. He never initiates the "we need to talk" conversation. He doesn't even avoid eye contact or let the blush take over his skin. He shows no sign of ever remembering what he said. No acknowledge of how he gave you hope and despair in a single night for the nth time.

You don't know what would happen if he were to be true to his words. It frightened you, but it also made you excited. It seemed honest. He talked like he knew what love was every time he looked at you. It was lovely. You just wished it was sober words on sober thoughts.

✦ ✦ ✦

Soobin

“i can't help but imagine what maybe could've happened if you weren't just an online love”

Soobin knew his lifestyle wasn't appropriate to a love life, at least not now.

He knew that if he were to date someone, it would be years down the line. And that even then, it would be hard. But he never really gave this thought too much attention. Why would he? No one had caught his heart just yet. He so foolish thought that maybe he was somehow protected from love. He had never felt anything so real for anyone, so maybe the universe was helping him and his career at first.

But then it happened.

He met you.

That was his downfall. The sweetest and most beautiful ruin ever. It was a poetic heart break, one he couldn't even be mad at. You were the one who made him fall in love with no where to land. But it felt like flying. It was so lovely, so gentle.

He wished a lot of things. He wanted you to stop being so kind, so maybe he could gain a bit of his dignity back. He wanted you to ghost him a bit, so he could get hurt and then move on. You never did what he wanted you to, though. You were always there, just a message away, always prohibiting him being in denial any longer.

That was other thing. You were as distant as a phone call could get. He couldn't knock on your door, he couldn't hug you or hang out with you. You were nothing but a beautiful image in a tiny screen, and he was nothing but a soothing voice that resonated through your speakers. The beauty and the curse of technology, he guesses. Good enough to connect, bad enough to always make him want more.

That was probably the worst part. Even if, at the end of the day, he layed in his best and daydreamed about a day where it'd be okay for him to love publicly, there would be the challenge of distance. He could never fully imagine it. There was always something in the way. He didn't even have the luxury of dreaming of you.

If only you weren't an online love

✦ ✦ ✦

Beomgyu

“I remember you and me, yeah I remember everything”

Beomgyu should be able to just forget. So many years have passed since then. But he still remembers. He remembers everything.

He was a kid back then. Young, dumb, wild and free. The days where he was able to play on the street and his biggest worry was to try to fake a fever so he didn't have to go to school. Most memories from that were blurry, but there is one thing he remembers quite well.

You.

You were around his age, he's not sure. Now that he thinks of that, he never bothered to ask you how old you were. Neither did you. But in every picture, that weren't many, you seemed to have the same height and the same puffy cheeks every kid has. So he just always assumed you shared the same age.

You lived in the same street as him. Both of you were the only kids in the neighbourhood, so it was only natural that you stuck to each other like glue. You didn't go to the same school, but you'd always find each other after coming home. Play a little bit on the hot pavement, help each other do the homework in your house and eat something at his. A routine that seemed to repeat itself every day. But he was so content with it. It felt like everything he needed.

Till this day, he was sure that was all he still needed.

After a few years, your family moved away to a different city. But that was no problem as you swore you'd keep in touch. And you did, as best as a child could. You sent a few letters to him. He still has most of them, except for one, that he lost after trying to read on his way home, in the rain. The letters were in a small box in the back of his wardrobe. Your letter was horrible and your updates didn't really tell him anything. But it still brought a smile to his face. He wonders if you still have any of the letters he sent you.

That's pretty much every physical memory he has of you, everything he has to convince him you weren't a product of his imagination. He wanted to have more, and maybe he would have if only he was a bit more insistent. But he changed schools, got new friends and found out math was his biggest enemy. Little by little life got busier, more serious. And, somewhere down the line, there was no space to entertain a friendship that screamed youth. After a while, your letters stopped coming in as well.

It was time he had forgotten it. You had been a dear friend to him, but that was it. He was way too young to understand anything, and now he was way too old to think about it. But then, he is twenty and something with friends who are also grown, and he hears one say that he never fell in love before. The other one says that he did, but it was so complicated that it wasn't worth it in the end.

He finds it weird. Sometimes, he still writes a few letters to you. He never admits it and he definitely never sent it to you at all - he didn't even know if you still lived there - but he does it when he wants to think. Or when he misses you. In his letters, he finds out how lucky he was. While someone was in his late 20s and still didn't find love, he was fortunate enough to do so as a little kid. And his other friend was wrong. Love wasn't complicated. He remembers it being easier than learning how to write. Or maybe it was complicated, actually. After all, he did have everything with you just to spend the rest of his life without it.

✦ ✦ ✦

Taehyun

“I can't be your lover on a leash every other week, when you please. I can't be the kiss you don't need”

At first, Taehyun was thrilled. You loved him!! What a great time to be alive it was. You loved him, he loved you, and now you were together. Life really couldn't get any better.

So, of course, it got worse.

At first, he thought it was the honeymoon phase fading away. But maybe it was even worse than that, as he now recalls all the memories and can't even remember you being passionate about him at all. You would always pick up his calls and talk to him for hours, but you barely sent any message of your own. You would hold his hand when he reached out, but would always be the one to take it away as well. You said you loved him. That was cruel. You didn't mean it.

It took him a while to realise it. He was so infatuated, so head over heels, that he didn't pick on any of those hints before. It never crossed his mind that maybe you were with him not because you wanted him, but because you wanted someone.

So you left. And came back. And left, and came back, and all of that over and over again. Taehyun, being as in love, as naive as he was, thought that maybe you actually wanted him and just didn't know that yet. Or maybe you weren't good at dealing with feelings. Whatever it was, he thought he could handle it.

But every time you left, it was because you didn't love him anymore (he highly doubts you ever did). You always managed to find someone new. Maybe you liked the adrenaline more than you liked the idea of love. Maybe you liked the feelings while they were new.

And every time you came back, it wasn't because you missed him. It was because the fresh feelings of your previous relationship were starting to rot, and Taehyun was, apparently, the only one that loved you no matter how much time passed. But it could never be enough, as soon you'd be gone again.

He swore he'd be over it. He couldn't take it anymore. You were making a wound on him that would never close, bleeding him dry. He wanted to choose himself at least this once. But then you look at him again, wanting a little bit of attention, and he thinks he could die like this. He thinks he will.

✦ ✦ ✦

Hueningkai

“Why would you ever kiss me? I'm not even half as pretty”

Hope is the first step to a broken heart.

Hueningkai didn't want to believe it at first. Hope could be the lead to a future you were part of, after all. There were signs. He wasn't delusional, he wasn't hallucinating: he truly thought he had a chance to win your heart.

There were moments you looked at him a bit too long to call it friendly. You complimented him with a voice too soft to say it was casual. You were always around, your touch burning his skin and leaving an eternal mark. He could feel your presence even when you weren't there. It really was that strong.

You gave him your sweater once. It didn't fit him that well, and he wasn't even that cold, but you gave it to him anyways. And he shouldn't overanalyse it. But he did. He noticed your touch lingering a bit more than it should, your eyes smiling before your lips, you saying the sweater fit him better.

He could've sworn there were signs.

But he also saw you with someone else. Doing all the things he thought, he dreamt, that were exclusive of you two. Sitting too close when watching a movie, leaning towards them when you laughed, reaching for their hand even when it wasn't necessary.

That damn sweater, too.

Everything that happened to him, everything that gave him hope of something more, was being reproduced once again in front of his eyes. But better. With a different glint in your face. And then it hit him.

You gave Kai your sweater, but that didn't really mean anything. Not when there was someone else that gained the same with a whole different meaning. They were receiving a quiet act of love while Hueningkai just received some polyester.

Masterlist | you'll probably like: when you marry someone else

Daily click

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @firstclassjaylee @sheraayasherrecs @queenofdumbfuckery @lezleeferguson-120 @enhacolor @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @lucciet

Dividers by @cursed-carmine | images 1, 2 and 3