𝓒𝓮𝓵𝓲𝓷𝓮

Bang Chan - Breathe

“It's 2:00 AM, feeling like I just lost a friend”

At this point, Chan was pretty sure he had moved on.

It had been a few months, nearly a year now. He admits that, in some particularly lonely nights, he'd miss you a bit. And if you shared a stage because of similar schedules, he'd try a bit too much to avoid your gaze.

But, for most of it, he had moved on.

So why seeing you do the same hurt that much? "I can't breathe without you, but I have to" is what you said. He wanted to find a way to tell you that this wasn't true, that you didn't have to do any of that. But that'd only be a lie.

You had to move on. He had too. Being apart hurts, but God knows being together makes you both bleed way more.

Bang Chan had never loved anyone more than he loved you and, somehow, you were still not the one for him.

So he hears your voice through the speakers, knowing this will be the closest to you he'll allow himself to get, and just hope that you can breath better now that he isn't around. He hears the best moments of his life get told by your pained voice, but he knows it's for the better.

You lost a lover, a friend and a part of your heart. But still, Chan smiles, because he knows you'll be able to go through it just fine. He can only hopes he'll do the same.

✦ ✦ ✦

Lee Know - The Way I Loved You

“But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain”

Minho is starting to understand why you broke up with him. After all, there was something definitely wrong going on with him. What else could explain that weird feeling - maybe relief, or maybe some sort of sick arrogance - that he felt after listening to your song?

He knew that, after the breakup, you tried to move on. And he thought you had. He heard people say (read: he asked around) you were going out with this other guy. He was also an idol, but that's all the similarities they shared.

Apparently the new dude was someone sensible, calm, that loved peacefully and surely. Falling in love with him felt like dancing in the clouds or something like that. There was no arguments at 2 am or any adrenaline rush. There was only everything you ever deserved.

So no one can blame Minho for thinking that you were completely over him.

But if you the rumours were true and it never worked out with this other idol, and if your words in this song held any truth... Then maybe, and that's a big maybe, you still loved Minho. At least a little bit. At least enough.

✦ ✦ ✦

Changbin - Mr. Perfectly Fine

“How's your heart after breaking mine?”

Maybe it was all a fever dream. Maybe Changbin never dated you on the first place and every memory he had is a simply hallucination. That must be what happened, because there is no way the ex you're talking about is him.

If it was about him, you would've said that he misses you. That he hasn't been with anyone else since then because he can't possibly move on. You would've even pitied him a bit. But no similar thought got out of their lips.

No. What you did say, though, was how he was perfectly fine.

That honestly made Changbin laugh. That was insane. How come you looked at him and thought that, out of all the mess he was feeling then, he was feeling fine. Perfectly so, even!

It was ridiculous. Even if he was expecting some casual venom from your songs, considering your break up hadn't been the calmest of things, this was way over what he imagined. It wasn't even purposefully cruel, and that was the worst part.

It hurt to see you look at him and assume he was going by alright. His heart was just as broken and his hopes were crushed. But, because in a haze you couldn't see it properly, you just stab him with your words and assume he's the villain. The cold one, the strategist, the "apologises badly just so he isn't the bad guy".

He doesn't understand how, after loving him so much, you could simply tear the "him" you knew back then apart.

✦ ✦ ✦

Hyunjin - white horse

“I was a dreamer before you went and let me down, not it's too late for you and your white horse to come around”

Hyunjin is smarter than this.

By the way things ended with you both, he knew no second chances would've been given. Or third, fourth, fifth chances. After a while, he lost count of how many opportunities he lost. Maybe that was the problem to begin with.

He was sure, then, that there was no going back. You had made that very clear. And, honestly, he didn't even want to go back, or so he thinks. There was no point in returning to something that clearly wasn't working.

But he wanted to think of a "maybe". He wanted to be haunted by possibilities.

Even though it wasn't logical, nor sensible, nor merciful to himself, he still desired to have at least a "what if" with you.

You did not give him that privilege.

He thought your album was going to be full of love songs, but that seemed a lot like spite. Like resentment. There was no door, no window to your heart. There wasn't even a hole on the walls where he could spy his way back to your life.

Your words and melodies felt a lot like building walls as big as skyscrapers, making sure that hyunjin would never even try to come around again. Because, once again, he has lost his chance. And he was never going to get it back.

It had finally became "too late".

✦ ✦ ✦

Han - Forever & Always

“You looked me in the eye and told me you loved me. Were you just kidding?”

This wasn't fair. In fact, this was the most unfortunate, unreasonable thing to ever happen to Jisung.

He felt wronged enough when the breakup happened. It felt bad enough to lose his lover and best friend at once, being left behind with nothing but regret and pity for himself. But now? This was somehow even worse.

Because even though he didn't have you anymore, he liked to think he at least had the memories. Unchangeable memories of the best moments you both shared that would keep him company for years on end.

He liked to think you'd have that much as well.

But, as it seems, you remembered things a bit differently. Yes, you remembered all the arcade dates, nights spent talking about everything and nothing and the promises. The "forever and always, baby". But you didn't revisit this memories with found eyes and a soft heart.

You seemed to think of those moments as lies.

Han wanted to scream. He wanted to send you a ten page explanation about how every moment was true. Even if he wasn't able to keep his promises, that doesn't mean he didn't try to.

There would be no problem of you wanted to erase him from your life, or hate the version of him you don't know anymore. One thing he can't take though, he thinks to himself as he picks up his guitar, is that you start to doubt the intentions he had from when love was all he knew.

✦ ✦ ✦

Felix - Bye Bye Baby

“bye, bye, baby. I want you bad but it's come down to nothing”

Being an idol meant that some normal things that everyone had were nothing but privileges to you. Like falling in love. And maybe one day you'd have it, maybe one day that would be allowed.

Felix thought that the day would be by now.

It truly wasn't.

Maybe that's the hardest part about a friendly breakup. When the world makes you grow apart but your hearts still belong to each other, that hurts way more than any venomous words and insults would.

Everything that is left to Felix is a dark room and his earphones plugged to his phone. A friendly goodbye. He had the urge to support you in your dreams while having the obligation of watching you from afar. And hearing your voice.

Back then, you agreed to go no contact. There was no way you both would be able to move on if you kept talking to each other all the time, after all. So that's what you did. It's been months since he last talked to you. He tried to not miss you so much by listening to your voice, seeing your interviews.

But it all hurts way more when you sing about him, and talk about a love you wish you could've kept.

Oh, he wishes he could've kept you.

✦ ✦ ✦

Seungmin - Untouchable

“But you're untouchable”

When seungmin watched your interview, because he couldn't help but try to see more of you even then, he thought the universe was being merciful with him. After all, some of the songs in your new album were sad, really, really sad, but there were also some softer songs.

The ones you wrote when you were still in love.

Maybe it was too naive, or too hopeful, of him to only listen to those and expect everything to be alright. He wanted to simply pretend a little bit more. Pretend your heart still thought of him dearly, pretend that somewhere in time and space you two were still together.

But how on earth is this song happy? Is that how you felt when you were in love with him, still in a supposedly very happy relationship?

Sure, you compared him to a taste of heaven. That should be cute. A dream, made of thousands of stars and stuff. All of that did allow him to smile a bit.

Untouchable, though? Even when love was blinding you, you still thought he was untouchable? Maybe there is a poetic explanation to this, and why you thought this word was somehow romantic.

But it made him overthink, instead. Was he untouchable even when you had him wrapped around your finger? How does that even work? He thought he was giving all of himself to you...

Did he lie to himself somehow?

Was this small, rough word in the between hundreds of loveable metaphors the beginning of the end?

✦ ✦ ✦

I.N - if this was a movie

“come back to me like you would if this was a movie”

Jeongin knew that at least one of your songs on the upcoming album was going to be about him. Not because he was cocky, or because he thought he deserved it. Simply because you were like that. You expressed yourself better through music, through lyrics. And if there was anything that made you feel better after the breakup, it would be a pen and a paper.

So he knew there was going to be a song about him. And he thought he was gonna cry about it, maybe. He thought that after listening to the song, because he couldn't help his curiosity, his day would be ruined.

Instead, he laughed. The one reaction he thought would never happen after listening to the things you wrote, that surely would break his heart. But it was so ironic. You didn't cuss him, you didn't try to move on, you barely even cried. You just asked.

Asked him to simply go back to you.

There was some type of acceptance in your song. Like you were begging for him to show up at your doorstep, but at the same time, you knew better than to believe that would happen.

Do you even know how many times his legs led him to your front door before he could realise? How many nights he stood in the rain, wondering if he should just knock or let you be? Did you ever even imagine how many times he almost went back to you?

Did you know how much he wanted to run to you right now?

Masterlist | you'll probably like: tragic love stories

Daily click

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @sleepyleeji @jinnie-ret @sheraayasherrecs @rockstarkkami @urlocalmultigroupfan @aeinzzzketchup @queenofdumbfuckery @sarita-sunday @lezleeferguson-120 @chimmyn0chu @sspersonally @i2mingi @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx @jjuniebinnie

Dividers by @thecutestgrotto | images 1/3 and 2

Masterlist | you'll probably like: all this time

Daily click

Reminder this is just fiction!! I'm not trying to portray real life and you shouldn't believe that this is how the members actually are. This is just for the vibe and the delulu!

Taglist (open!): @yuyubeans @sheraayasherrecs @queenofdumbfuckery @lezleeferguson-120 @diarylogbook08 @i2mingi @xx-all-purpose-nerd-xx

images 1, 2 and 3