These Little Shits

this post by @sdv-said-what has been in my head ALL DAY

major antella: 3k words about why they'd like to keep shepard in custody for 5 to 7 months to get answers about the disappearance and cerberus, deferential regards to hackett, Respectfully awaiting your reply, sirs and full titles and virtual sealing wax

you can dress your squad in matching pink and white armor

you can force a man to give you an omnitool you might not be able to use

when you land on a planet you literally just drive ur tank out the back end of the normandy and hope you land on all four wheels 

sometimes the mako gets stuck on a rock and then u have the restart the entire mission

the implication that you are driving up an almost 90 degree cliff sheer with three people in it

your boss/dad punches people to commit treason and then you can nominate him to be all of humanity’s representative

you can just call the council and hang up on them and the fact that the devs know people did that is referenced in the games after 

“the colonists don’t know what they’re doing throw these neutralizing grenades at them instead. punching them also works.”

the fact that to get from ilos to the citadel u drive ur terrible space truck directly into a mass relay and it FLINGS you at the citadel like a slingshot 

mass effect 2 and 3 are also kinda feral in their own ways but they’re like please do these organized missions and help ur friends and we have a special shuttle to take u everywhere and later we have a guy who will actually fly you places and help you and everyone knows you by name but in mass effect 1 you talk to people and they’re just like who the fuck r u loser and then you let the rachni queen go

you can find their site here: (X)