Alas! Poor Yorick.

Provided that the Soul is Free and Willing by lightgetsin

“Oh,” Essek says, and a tremulous smile comes to his mouth. “That’s wonderful. You, ah.” He licks his lips. “You understand what happened?” Caleb nods. “Ja. Clone spell. I don’t – things are a little blurry. But I . . . must have died?” A ripple passes across Essek’s face. “You did,” he says quietly, with a rasp to his voice. “Just now.” He swallows audibly. “I barely made it here in time."

bit loose on the "evil" and "protective" tones, but arguably a story in which essek and caleb jointly preserve caleb's life via means of questionable ethics depending on how some people feel about cloning and unnatural lifespan extension and this that and the other thing. what really GUTS me about this particular fanfiction is a sentiment essek expresses towards the end about having been a caretaker. in that regard you could view it as essek protecting the legacy of his relationship with caleb against caleb's own regrets. (dishwasher noises)

peace comes dropping slow by wytch-lyghts (flight_on_broken_wings)

In the wake of their harried exit from Vergesson, among all of Caleb's many regrets, his mind continues to return to Essek, waiting up North for them. Essek, who unlike the rest of their allies and families, was not even in the most immediate danger because of him. And yet, Trent's words still ring in his ears. All that remains is to tell him.

the "evil" element is absent, but the "ferally protective" element is palpable. this is actually another piece in which essek insistently guards caleb against the latter's self deprecation. I see a lot of people portraying their dynamic in conjunction with ikithon as caleb being the one to stand athwart the tides of horror in essek's defense and honor --- but I vastly prefer this dynamic, in which essek dutifully soothes and protects caleb when it comes to confronting the very personal damage left over from his stolen adolescence.

between dusk and daybreak, I find you here by wytch-lyghts (flight_on_broken_wings)

Essek couldn’t help the impossibly fond smile that turned the corners of his lips, pausing to commit everything to memory. The gentle flick of Frumpkin’s tail. Essek’s own worn, oversized sweater Caleb had liberated from his wardrobe. The way those stray locks of auburn hair tumbled over his face and moved on each breath. The soft, barely there part of his lips. The swoop of his eyelashes over the dusting of freckles across his cheeks. All of it. It knocked the breath out of Essek’s lungs, the physical ache in his chest as the reminder of how much he loved this foolishly predictable man slammed into him. Caleb, who tried to busy himself until far too late an hour, waiting for him to come home.

get used to me rec'ing this author lol. when it comes to shadowgast, I cannot speak highly enough of how superbly they portray them. it's always so much of caleb cherishing essek and wanting to detach him from the demons of his own past, and so much of essek resisting the attempts, so grateful and adoring of caleb that he'd rather do everything in his power to shield him from every possible encroachment upon his peace to the best of his ability. anyway enough waxing poetical. no evil essek in this one (sorry the track record for this list isn't looking superb is it) just a lot of essek admiring and loving and nurturing a sleepy wizard and having a repartee with an ethereal cat about bad sleeping habits

latent echoes by wytch-lyghts (flight_on_broken_wings)

He watched a resonant echo split from itself, the two walking diverging paths. Where the one ended, Caleb already saw. The thread unfolded before it—a short path with an abrupt end—glimmering like starlight, like the end of a noose. He drew air into his lungs, held it until he couldn’t stop the words from tumbling forth. “At least one of these versions of myself killed Trent Ikithon in the Blooming Grove,” he breathed shakily, the relief not in finally voicing that unutterable truth, but in how easily it came. Here. With Essek. “Do you think he regretted it, that variant?” Essek asked, just as quietly, in that precious little space between their lips where neither kings nor gods were privy to their words. “I don’t know…” Then, because it did not settle easy, lying to Essek, Caleb cleared his throat. “I cannot imagine that he did.” *** The trial of Trent Ikithon is underway. Caleb thought this was what he wanted. He’d agreed. He was sure. Until he wasn’t.

this one is six glorious chapters of essek desperately trying to hold caleb together while they two of them endure the emotional taxation of post-canon ikithonian courtroom drama. essek doesn't evolve backwards into villainy per se, although he expresses that he would have if given the proper foresight to do so. otherwise the ferality is certainly poignant, including delicious conflict with beauregard, who has her own, if not dissonant, approach to helping caleb. shadowgast and empire siblings in one package? beau and essek arguing over their discordant methods of protecting the one dirt wizard they have in common? slay me!

Crimson Debt by SamJoinedtheReconCorps

Essek escorts Caleb to interrogate the Scourger before the execution.

A compelling transcription of the infamous shiv incident from episode 77. everybody has their own theories and interpretations of how exactly a restrained prisoner came to be in the possession of a very providential shiv at a very providential time. in this case essek's flash of evilness is to be expected as it is, well, something that actually happened in the campaign. but the author's added seasoning via internal monologues and a quick tag from essek's pov towards the end is a massive enhancement of the experience. also caleb's got the entire nein posting up, which makes me feel feral. also-also there's some creative liberties involving touching. when they TOUCH! I love it when they TOUCH! AUGH!

Dunamancy vs. Building by Xhorhasian_Beacon

He should have reigned it in a bit more, he knew that now. Dunamancy was dangerous in closed spaces. But when he had seen Caleb in danger, he had acted before he had the chance to really think of what he was doing. He hadn't, however, ever seen dunamancy bring down an entire building.

this one features essek acting recklessly in defense of his beloved, and then having to reap the cons of his quences. the nein and yussa also make an appearance, AND it features caleb up against one his greatest adversaries --- architecture!

The Dangers of Being Human in Xhorhas by Xhorhasian_Beacon

Humans had always been a rarity in Xhorhas and they had never been treated particularly well. Essek often worried about Caleb and Beau walking around without his supervision and protection. With a drow around, they were significantly safer. Especially when that drow was the Shadowhand. However, the group they travelled with usually kept them safe, so there wasn't too much reason for him to worry. Except for when they were alone, as Caleb often was. Little did Essek know, his worst fears would eventually become reality.

unfinished I fear, but a lot of delicious whump and angst for our wizards in what we have. right off the bat you get righteously homicidal essek, with a dash of pre-relationship pining if you're into that. and who isn't?

Caleb and Scourgers by Xhorhasian_Beacon

Caleb awoke tied to a chair in a cold, dark room. His eyes could barely pick out any details, though he could hear movement to his left. He tried to call out, he found that he had been gagged some sort of cloth. Filthy cloth, judging by the taste in his mouth.  He had fallen asleep in the room he had rented in Rexxentrum- how had he gotten here? 

another author whose specialty is hitting on the all the tropes that I require to survive. unhesitating, unthinking, unregretful homicide courtesy of essek on caleb's behalf! gentle touching and loving gestures in the immediate aftermath! the rest of the nein also there and also feral! caleb getting fucked up! the recipe for my happiness.

dinner & diatribes by wytch-lyghts (flight_on_broken_wings)

The music swelled, elegantly matched pairs spinning past each other across the floor where the dance carried them. Weaving behind the pillars and braziers of glowing coals lining the hall, Caleb scanned over the shifting sea of guests for his husband. His husband. Oh gods. It still sounded strange. His husband. Good, decidedly good, but strange, making his heart stumble over itself dangerously. The thought put the most fragile, fluttering sensation in his chest that he had yet to put words to and a stupid grin on his face when he wasn’t being careful. And he was presently being exceptionally careful. These nations were allies, technically, but their elite—his guests—bared their teeth at one another more than they did smile. If they made it through the night without any bloodshed at this anniversary of the peace, that alone would be worth celebrating.

essek's variety of protective ferality in this fic arrives in the form of being bitchy more than anything. still highly iconic ofc. caleb is a bit chagrined but I'm sure he thinks it's hot.

Compass by AnaliseGrey

They’ve taken his components, his books and harness, along with his magic items. While normally this would fill him with concern, it might end up helping him in the long run. The amulet of proof against detection only works so long as he’s wearing it; it might be possible for someone to find him now, providing they bother to look. He really hopes someone bothers to look.

pretty standard fare regarding the premise of this rec list. essek darkly violences some randos who bushwhacked his bf. then immediately turns around and is SO gentle and SO caring when the "comfort" comes in to counter the "hurt" portion. excellent shit in a concise package

Hold Me Close, Cut Me Deep by CatgirlTheCrazy

“That’s right, love.” Caleb—Essek’s Caleb, the one who loved him—whispered in his ear. It sent a delightful shiver down Essek’s spine. “He wants to take me away from you. He hates seeing you happy.” The other Caleb, the one who would never be his, looked pained. “Essek, that’s not the real me. That’s a fiend wearing my face.” “Is that how little you think of me?” Essek snapped. The other Caleb flinched as if from a physical blow. “I know exactly what he is.” He’s the one who will give me what you never would. Essek’s Caleb kissed him sweetly on the cheek. It felt like benediction. “Be a dear and get rid of him for me, darling.”

in a delightful subversion of evil!protective!essek, this particular variation includes some very angsty Magical Mindfuckery for seasoning. dark star makes an appearance on behalf of essek's beloved in a rather shakespearean sense. it also includes wizards jointly being inanely self-sacrificial for the benefit of the other.

A Volsturckers' Revenge by A_Murder_of_crows_going_to_seven_eleven

Caleb is kidnapped and tortured by a Volstrucker.

Another one where caleb is whumped to hell and back and essek gets a few sickening, graphic murders as a little treat. also another one where the rest of the nein are united for purposes of wizard rescue and rehabilitation.

let's make this moment worth the while by KmacKatie (kmackatie)

Lucien leaned back in his chair at the comment and gave it a beat before he cocked his head towards Essek with a leering smile on his face. He folded his arms, keeping his eyes resting on Caleb while directing his next comment to his right. “He’s attractive when he’s condescending.” He was rewarded by an immediate stiffening of Essek next to him and a flush across Caleb’s face as he coughed and turned away. The tension up the back of Essek’s neck was clear, and his long ears twitched back slightly. Smiling more widely, Lucien turned to look at Essek, who resolutely didn’t meet his gaze. “Feisty as well, isn’t he? Hungry for knowledge. Always about books and learning. He said as much himself. Is that how he wound you in?” ———— Lucien picks up on the unspoken tension between Essek and Caleb and uses it to his advantage. Set shortly after E122 Nothing Ventured, Nothing Gained.

I think about this fic a fucking lot! two ethically dubious purple guys passive aggressively egging each other on using their mutual crush as the centerpiece, and essek getting rather ruffled by lucien's implications...their disdain is so heightened and so juicy and essek's behavior towards caleb is so protective and so ginger. much as it would have been lovely for essek to do a murder then and there, you don't get to see the proverbial lid blow off in the form of a vengeful homicide. you do however, once again, get it in the form of essek being delightfully bitchy. also! it's pre-relationship and the pining is THICK

an oath to do (no) harm by Enby_Tiefling

In an unhealthy pursuit of answers about his missing years in Vergesson, Caleb asks Essek to do something terrible. Essek, well practiced at doing terrible things, agrees.

another fic that subverts the lovingly-evil trope in a really interesting (and sad) way. I was gutted thinking that this story was resting on the penultimate chapter in perpetuity, but then the OP updated just recently after a year. there's so much tension and regret and anguish. the story poses some interesting ethical dilemmas in which everyone means well, but nobody does well. caduceus also figures prominently as a sort of mediator and if there's one thing I love almost as much as protective!essek, it's protective!caduceus. the ending is bittersweet, but very apropos.

burnout by wytch-lyghts (flight_on_broken_wings)

A shared interest in the arcane and a few throwaway fucks was one thing, had mutual benefit, but the sort of secondhand suffering that curled around Essek’s ribcage and currently crippled his ability to speak was the symptom of something else entirely. Caleb tilted his head to the side, lifting his chin just enough to glance sideways at the drow. The low flame of the torch sconces dispersed just enough dull light through the room to play cruelly over ghost-pale skin and scabbed-over gashes like claw marks so deep that multicolor bruises radiated around them. Divine healing magic only did so much when there wasn’t enough to go around. During the Mighty Nein’s future in Rosohna, it takes one too many close calls for Essek to separate the political from the personal, and to realize just how personal his relationship with the party’s wizard had become.

there is no ferality or evilness to detect from essek in this fic. just tenderness and gentleness and adoration and love and care. the pet names, the touching FUCKS me UP. I just really like this fic and this author okay

simple math by SaltCore 

Power Word Kill: You utter a word of power that can compel one creature you can see within range to die instantly. Beau knows Essek can be ruthless, and she knows he loves Caleb. The point where these facts meet still manages to surprise her, and she never has been able to let anything lie.

When I tell you this is the epitome of "essek turns evil in a fit of protective rage to keep his boyfriend safe" it truly is god-tier That. this author has a long list of wonderful shadowgast fics but this one is perhaps my favorite and I think about it a lot a lot a lot

bow shock by SaltCore

Adventuring might be behind Caleb, but danger is not. Late in the night, someone comes to settle a score with him on behalf of their mutual teacher. They did not account for Caleb playing host to someone with very strong opinions about that, and the magic to back them up.

more saltcore! finishing out strong! another perfectly formulated treat designed specifically to placate my protective!essek yearning and THIS one is 'pre-slash' which lowkey. it's not that I like it MORE but I love when the mutual homoerotic tension is mostly unspoken and there's just a lot of them being clearly in love with each other but not explicitly acknowledging it. <3 <3 <3 STUPIDS!!

also check out

Crane Your Neck  and Smoke You Out by saltcore which are tagged 'protective essek' althooouughhh idr reading them but boy howdy am I gonna do that SOON

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