One Piece

Attack on Titan

Stranger Things:

Steve Harrington

Eddie Munson

Mike Wheeler

Bob Reynolds

Rhett Abbott

Bellamy Blake

Marvel

Miscellaneous

you gasped as you were shoved to your knees, fistful of your hair being pulling enough for you to look up. “oh, it’s you, alright…” the man sneered, ugly teeth bared in what he thought was a smile, “what are you doing all the way out here? all by yourself?”

you narrowed your eyes and spat, grinning as the man wiped his face with an even angrier expression. he growled and you merely narrowed your eyes and stared at him, daring— fearless.

he raised his hand to strike you, but someone stepped in front of you. a hand closed around his wrist, pulling it away from you roughly.

“is there a problem?”

his voice was cold. casual, indifferent. as if he had seen this type of thing every day.

“no problem at all— just helping this lady here—“

“let go of her.”

he still hadn’t even looked at you, eyes locked on the man like he was daring him to defy him. he had one hand on his sword— which you quickly realized he had three of— eyes dark and unyielding, as cool and collected as if he wasn’t in a confrontation at all.

“i know you…” the man had reached for his own sword, jerking his wrist out of the other man’s grasp.

“i wouldn’t do that.”

“you’re roronoa zoro…”

“which is why you shouldn’t do that.” he drew one of his swords and eyed the man with a dangerous warning, “let her go.”

you were shoved forward, nearly slamming your face into the sand if a pair of arms hadn’t caught you. the man who had had ahold of you took off running and you held back a snort, “pathetic.”

zoro, apparently, eyed you with a skeptical look, “are you okay?” he addressed you with that same dry disinterest and never fully looked you in the eye.

you nodded once, rising to your feet with a shaky exhale. “thank you…”

zoro looked at you once more, as if deciding something, “don’t mention it.”

he was actually rather rude now— short and indifferent and so nonchalant you could just shake him. zoro looked you over, eyebrow lifted slightly.

“what?”

now it was you who snapped.

“your dress does not seem to be the most effective choice of clothing.”

“thank you very much. i just left with what i had.”

“you’re not going to make it far in that.”

“i’ve done decently, thus far.”

zoro grunted and eyed you, “if you say so.”

he moved to turn away and stopped. he shouldn’t get involved. he shouldn’t even say another word to you… he didn’t care who you were. where you were going. or why you seemed to be completely fearless.

“come with me.”

“what?”

“look, i may be a pirate hunter but i don’t just leave women to fend for themselves…”

“i can take care of myself.”

“yes, you seemed to be doing great without me.”

“excuse me! i have been more than capable so far. one asshole catching me off guard means nothing.”

zoro regarded you again, looking you up and down in a way that was entirely unsuggestive. you glared back and he almost smirked.

“there’s a lot of assholes in the world… can never be too careful…”

“how charming. are you offering to protect me?”

“no. i have no time to be a bodyguard…”

“well then, you shouldn’t care what happens to me. or if i’m tromping around in a dress.”

zoro snorted, “whatever you say, princess. you’re welcome for saving you. try not to get abducted…”

you scoffed, crossing your arms, “what— don’t call me that.”

zoro’s hand flexed around his sword, fighting amusement, “whatever you say, princess.”

he unfolded a stack of papers and unfolded the top one, eyeing you with a knowing glance. you raised an eyebrow, stepping closer curiously. he cleared his throat and held up a wanted poster.

your wanted poster.

“princess v—“

you surged forward and snatched the poster from his hands, shushing him with a hiss. zoro smirked, eyeing you with that same damn expression.

“four hundred million is a lot of berry. what the hell did you do?” his eyes scanned you once more and if he hadn’t been anything but indifferent, you would swear he was checking you out, “princess.”

“nothing. i didn’t do anything. except for run away.”

zoro lifted an eyebrow, apparently urging you to continue.

“if you want the bounty money, i will pay you. but i’m not going back there.”

zoro eyed you again, impressed, testing the waters, trying to get a read on you. “what’s all the way out here for you?”

you shifted on your feet, looking down, “i’m looking for my brother…”

zoro shifted now, seeming more interested, “your brother? there’s a runaway prince now, too? your kingdom must be charming…”

you almost laughed at that but brushed yourself off and shifted instead, “everyone thinks he’s dead. but he’s not… i know he’s not.”

zoro grunted faintly and you took that as pity.

“he isn’t dead.”

“alright…” zoro eyed you once more, seeming to see you more of an equal than as a profit or an inconvenience, “so maybe he isn’t… how are you going to find him? it’s a big world…”

you had considered that but hadn’t actually thought about it again since breaking free of the kingdom’s boarders. your expression must have fallen because zoro cleared his throat, “i’m heading to the grand line. if we find him on the way…..”

what?

he would help you find a long lost sibling?

become an accessory to the run away princess?

“i don’t need protection. i’ve had my fill of guards constantly trailing behind me.”

“maybe you don’t. but i think we both have a better chance with someone watching our backs… can you even fight?”

you turned sharply and glared at zoro in a way that made him smirk instead of look intimidated. “i can fight satisfactory.”

“satisfactory…” zoro crossed his arms with a slight smirk, “i’m not sure there’s a place for proper dialogue in a land of pirates and bounty hunters…”

he wasn’t making fun of you, you realized; despite his smirk and amused tone, he was genuine. you hadn’t actually stopped to consider your manners and etiquette— and how blatantly useless they were out here. the full, frilly dress was enough to make you a target; save the proper talk and eloquent words.

“you’re right….”

you had paused, as if completely struck by the realization.

“i mean feel free— just don’t expect me to start quoting poetry with you or something…”

this made you smile, glancing up at him with a playful expression, “not into poetry, roronoa zoro?”

zoro almost smirked, shifting his hold on his sword, “i find actions speak louder than words…”

you glanced back at him, eyes taking him in in a quick motion, “or perhaps, in your case, swords.”

zoro glanced down at the three swords on his waist with a small smirk, “exactly.”

apparently the two of you would get along just fine.

“that’s fucking outrageous—“ zoro glanced over at you with a tense expression, eyes softening for a moment, “sorry, princess…”

you eyed him sharply, not for the language, but for the fact that he thought he needed to apologize for it. “that’s alright. my brother cursed like a sailor when he thought no one was looking… it’s fine. get the room.”

“i don’t have—“

you dug into the corset on the outside of your dress and zoro looked away, slightly pink. you pulled out a small pouch full of berry and dropped it in zoro’s hand, “get the room. neither one of us should sleep on the street or surrounded by drunks…”

zoro eyed you, bewildered but not arguing. you had had much worse sleeping arrangements since your grand exit of the palace. ships, rooftops– and frequently no sleep at all, to keep away from the hungry, impure gazes of men that would surely provide you with a place to sleep in exchange for parts of your soul.

“after you, my lady.” zoro propped the door open with his arms crossed over his chest. he smirked slightly as you shot him a glare at the reoccurring theme of royal nicknames.

“i’ve seen worse.”

“yeah,” zoro took in the room with a moment of hesitation. there was only one bed but you hadn’t seemed to notice— or perhaps be too concerned, “do um… should i keep watch, or—“

you glanced at him, glanced at the bed, blinked once. zoro expected you to cause a scene— perhaps fan yourself and mumble something about dignity and decorum while pointing to the furthest corner of the room where he could curl up like a dog.

“take the bed,” you had your foot on the small bed side drawer, pulling a knife out of your boot, calf and part of your thigh exposed as your skirts climbed up your leg.

zoro was momentarily stunned— and rather distracted by your sudden show of leg and lack of shame about it. he blinked quickly and realized with a slight fondness that he had you pegged completely wrong.

“i– i’m not going to let you sleep on the floor.”

“i have had worse sleeping arrangements, i assure you.” you shifted the dagger— plural, apparently— into your hand and returned your foot to the floor.

“i can sleep anywhere. you paid for the room, you take the bed.”

“don’t be stupid. you did save my life, after all and you’ve been favoring your left leg. take the bed and get a good night’s rest.”

zoro glanced down at his leg with a startled expression. he had been purposely forcing himself to walk with even pressure on it, not wanting to show a sign of weakness. how you had noticed—

“please. i’m too tired to argue…” you took a pillow from the bed and shifted to the side of the bed, preparing to shift onto the floor.

“i will sleep between you and the door.”

you looked up at him as if you had misheard, “sorry?”

“i don’t want you by the door.”

oh?

your heart had flipped slightly as you pulled an amused smile, “planning to steal my money and run and don’t want to trip on me on the way out?”

zoro didn’t laugh as he settled himself onto the bed, “if someone breaks in, i want them to meet me first.”

oh.

you said nothing for a moment, suddenly thinking of nothing smart or obnoxious to say. you hadn’t even tried to argue that you didn’t need a bodyguard or protection. he had just said it so naturally. like protecting you had become a natural instinct despite knowing you for less than twenty four hours.

“well…”

what did you even say to that?

“thank you.”

the mattress creaked as zoro shifted, “don’t mention it…”

you found yourself smiling, though you weren’t completely sure why, “goodnight, roronoa zoro.”

“goodnight, princess.”

you drifted off to sleep with that same small smile. there were no nightmares that plagued you. there was no abrupt waking, thinking someone was right beside you in the darkness. for the first time in a long time, you felt safe enough to sleep deeply.

“put this on.” zoro tied a black bandana over your head, tucking your hair up securely as he glanced over your shoulder like a paranoid security guard.

“oh, are we matching now? i think i would rather like using a sword.”

zoro almost smiled, eyeing you with a look that wasn’t quite exasperated, “you still stand out too much.” you glanced down at the black pants and white button down you had exchanged for your dress. you clicked your tongue indignantly, frowning slightly, “are you saying i’m too pretty to be here?”

that smirk was back, eyeing you with a more scolding look that did not seem sincere. he said nothing as he nudged an apple and small baked meat pie into your hand, “breakfast. i’m not sure when we’ll have anything fresh again…”

you eyed him softly, still trying to figure him out completely. he was certainly no demon, like the bounty hunter you had heard of. zoro tucked a few apples and a loaf of bread into your satchel and adjusted his swords. “that ship can get us to the next island. just don’t tell them who you are… and definitely don’t say my name.”

you followed behind him with a curious expression, faltering slightly as you took in the jolly roger looming from the mast. “i—“ pirates. zoro had stopped, glancing over his shoulder at you with a cautious expression.

“we need to get going, princess…” his tone was commanding but it wasn’t harsh. he was urging you to follow but he wasn’t being demanding.

“i just…. i don’t—“

zoro sighed and retreated back to your side. his shoulders were tense, breathing steady like he was trying to remain patient, “what is it?” his voice was still soft. his tone was still gentle and even.

“pirates…” you breathed it out in a forced breath, hand coming to your necklace to ground yourself.

“okay,” zoro sighed again as if this was only slightly inconvenient, “look at me.”

you expected him to be irritated and sharp— maybe even leave without you for keeping him— but his eyes were on you like a promise. intense but not angry, patient and almost reassuring, “nothing is going to happen to you on that ship.”

“but i—“

“i hate pirates. more than anyone. but this is our best ticket out of here… i killed some people so it isn’t safe for us to stay here.”

us.

he wasn’t going to leave you…

“you’ll be safe. i promise you.”

and you followed him. you had seen the look in his eyes and decided to trust him again… you had seen what he did to the baroque agent that had you— even still, a ship full of pirates…

“if they—“

“no one’s going to touch you. on my word, it will be the last thing they ever do.”

“but—“

“come on, princess…” zoro held out his arm for you to take to step onto the small plank up the ship. you tentatively took his elbow, holding it delicately but not missing the way his muscles flexed beneath your grasp. he was eyeing you softly and your fear slowly dissipated as he guided you on board.

eyes met you immediately and you shamefully stepped behind zoro, your hold on his arm tightening. zoro kept his eyes sharp, glancing around the ship like he was looking at a meal. he kept himself between you and everyone else in a way that you did not miss. your hand shook slightly as you shuffled along behind him, knuckles practically white against your grip on him.

zoro glanced back at you before shifting further onto the ship. he kept one hand on his sword and one hand on your wrist, walking you steadily to the back of the ship. eyes trailed you everywhere you went and you forced yourself to breath steadily.

“you’re safe.”

the male eyes on you told you differently. the gazes took in zoro, eyeing him, leveling him up as if determining how the fight would go. zoro kept his eyes straight ahead, sharp and unblinking, daring anyone to make a move. you didn’t understand how he was so confident— how he was so collected and calm and sure he could take an entire crew…

“looks like we have a little lamb on board…” boots shuffled on deck and you glanced up to see the small group gathered around you. “are you her shepherd?” one of the men kicked at zoro’s boot and zoro exhaled slowly, eyes flashing up like venom. he stood to his feet, struggling momentarily as you refused to let go of his arm.

“you touch her and you die.”

there was snickers around the ship and your stomach twisted. zoro shifted slightly, turning just slightly so his swords showed. there was sharp inhales and several people stepped backwards. you looked up at zoro, mesmerized, clearly not fully understanding his reputation.

there were several mutters of his name and pale expressions.

“i paid for passage on this ship. clearly you know who i am and lucky for you i’m not here for a bounty…” zoro shifted again so he blocked you from their view entirely, “if anyone touches her, that changes.” he eyed the man that had previously been so bold sharply, until he stumbled backwards and tripped. the crew split up, each returning frantically to their posts with nervous muttering.

zoro sat beside you again, head resting back against the side of the ship, knee bent to his chest as he folded his arms around it. he closed his eyes and said nothing, as if he hadn’t just threatened an entire pirate crew for looking at you.

you just stared at him, blinking once, realizing perhaps it was fate that made you get caught by the baroque works agent… you stayed close to him, fidgeting slightly at every footstep that fell and flinching at every small sound.

the sun was directly overhead, beating down on you like it was a punishment. you squinted over at the glistening water and exhaled, shifting to your feet as zoro continued dozing. he hadn’t moved and for a brief moment of insanity you wondered if he was dead. you nudged him slightly with your knee and he shifted his head against your leg with a small groan. you suppressed a smile and turned you attention back on the water.

“how did you get caught up with the pirate hunter? you seem a bit too prim and proper to be into killing.”

you had flinched at the voice but straightened your shoulders and turned towards the voice, “we just happened to be going the same place…”

the man eyed you, glanced down at zoro and hummed, “fancy that… sounds like right place right time.”

you shifted, breathing in slowly, “i suppose so…”

“seems like you’re well protected, my lady.”

“i’m— there’s no need for that…” you were tired of the titles, “yes… i am. truthfully, he did save my life and i owe him… there’s no reason he need stay with me and look after me. but i do appreciate it…”

zoro, eyes still closed, smirked slightly to himself, always more aware than he let others know.

it was barely after midnight when you woke up screaming. the night terrors were back— dragging you underwater as you swam to save your brother. your brother’s funeral- this time with a blue and sea swallowed corpse beneath the casket.

arms were holding you before you could take your first breath, solid and steady. “what happened? what happened—“ your eyes found zoro, wide eyed, eyes locked on you trying to identify the threat. you sucked in air— shaking as you did. nearly choking on the breath you took.

“i’m sorry…. i’m sorry— i…”

you were pathetic. you had escaped and made it this far to still be taken down by nightmares.

“it was a dream…” zoro said it more to himself, as if reassuring himself that there was no physical threat to you. you covered your face with your hands, rubbing your face until the dream unlatched itself from you.

there were several irritated crew members stomping across the deck, groggy and dazed, not appreciating being awoken by screams.

“i’m sorry…. i’m—“ you fell forward into your knees, closing your eyes tightly and cursing the tears that fell.

“what are you all staring at? you can go back to sleep.” zoro had stood to his feet to block the gaping eyes from you, voice assuring it was not a suggestion.

zoro said nothing as you curled around yourself, forcing yourself to breathe– reminding yourself it wasn’t real.

“do you want to talk about it?” he was stiff and uncomfortable as he settled beside you, clearly not being the one to ever bring comfort.

you shook your head, taking a breath, “it happens all the time… it’s why i prefer not to sleep.”

“i didn’t know… you never—“

“they stopped… for a while.”

with you.

“i knew you were there and…”

“you feel alone.” instinctively, he moved closer.

“no… not…”

zoro shifted as if defusing a bomb, head bent slightly to take you in, “you felt safe… with me.”

you just nodded, not bringing yourself to remove your head from his shoulder.

“but you don’t here.”

zoro was still stuck on the fact that he could make anyone feel safe. that he could protect and not just defend or kill…

you had shifted closer to him and zoro didn’t so much as flinch a muscle, “you can rest. i’m not going anywhere.”

“i’m not—“

“you can rest. i will be here…”

his hand was on his sword, grip relaxed but ready to attack. he hadn’t moved when you instinctively shifted closer to him, head falling heavily against his shoulder. he kept his breathing slow and even, mind whirling at the thought of someone retreating to him instead of away from. safe.

you felt safe with him…

he would keep you safe.

he would make sure you slept…

you wrapped your arms around his elbow, laying heavily against his shoulder as you did eventually drift off to sleep. you didn’t wake again. there were no screams, there were no nightmares. just zoro, sitting like a statue as you used him as a pillow— breathing steadily, dwelling on the fact that he was a protector and not just a killer… zoro glanced down at you with a soft expression, reassuring that you were still sleeping and that he hadn’t woken you.

he stayed like that all night. your head on his shoulder, slowly shifting to his chest as the night continued, arms wrapped around his in a hug. hand hovering on his sword in case he needed it.

“everything alright, princess?”

you cast zoro a scolding glance and let out an indignant snort, “i shall start calling you swordsman, if you don’t start using my name.”

zoro met your gaze with a barely there smirk, “sounded to me like you’re running from your name. i assumed you were tired of hearing it…”

you stopped short and eyed him, caught slightly off guard by his words. you swore he read you like a book— so aware and observant of you it was almost intrusive. he saw you like a person— not a crown or a status or royalty.

“you keep looking at me like that.”

“like what?”

“like you’re so surprised to hear something other than a grunt from me.”

you started laughing— covering your mouth in embarrassment as it came out loud and obnoxious. zoro’s eyes lit up momentarily, the faintest, fond smirk appearing on his face. it was as if he was seeing you for the first time— carefree and smiling, laughing at a joke as if you were more than wandering souls that bumped into each other only a week ago. zoro ignored the way his heart beat steadily increased, putting his hand on his sword to keep it from twitching.

“i know this isn’t exactly what you’re used to…” zoro was shrugging his jacket off and laying it down on the ground. you eyed him, lifting an eyebrow and then gaping once you realized he was making you a bed.

“zoro… this is fine. i always wanted to go camping… i thought sleeping outside would be relaxing… of course i never did. not very fitting for a princess…”

zoro eyed you with a small smirk, “then i hope it lives up to your expectations… and i’m sorry if i don’t tell scary stories around the fire…”

this time you grinned, tilting your head at him with a soft expression, “i think you’re good company, actually… my brother would have liked you— would… he would like you.”

zoro poked at the fire, shifting to a squat, “oh yeah? why’s that?” zoro had never once asked about your past or your brother. he had assumed it was a sore subject and didn’t dare bring it up in case you wanted to forget all about it.

“he’s loyal… he was the kindest person i think ever existed… our father hated him for it. he was good… we couldn’t have a good king… he always defended me and protected me. he was my best friend too… he was never the mean older brother that picked on me… no… that was— the others…”

zoro stopped poking the fire and looked up at you, eyebrows furrowed, “i didn’t realize…you had other siblings…” he toed the line gently, getting a feel of it— “you left them to find him… i…” zoro shook his head, realizing he wasn’t supposed to care. he shouldn’t—

“i’m sorry they were awful to you. i’m sorry your father—“ zoro stood up, so suddenly you thought something was wrong. you moved to follow him and he stiffened, “i… one minute—“

you fought back an amused smile but watched him in confusion.

zoro disappeared into the trees, muttering curses under his breath as he did. he rubbed his face, trying to wipe away the new feeling in his chest. to leave home and find someone who was told to be dead. you were brave. so much braver than anyone gave you credit for… to grow up with—

a scream sounded and zoro was tripping over his own feet to get to you. the panic that had suddenly filled him was so foreign and unfamiliar and he hated it. he had never cared this much— he had never been so scared of someone getting hurt.

“ah, there you are—“

you were struggling on your knees, hair pulled tightly by the man holding you. “i wondered when you would notice me following you… apparently you didn’t.”

zoro had his swords drawn though the calm expression on his face was more terrifying than his blades, “i knew you were following us.”

your eyes widened slightly, looking up at him in disbelief. zoro’s glanced to you briefly, expression sure, “i knew you weren’t a threat.”

“i’ve tracked the two of you for days…”

“and it’s taken you nearly a week to catch her. how impressive.”

you shot zoro a glare, but strangely you couldn’t let yourself feel panicked. zoro had never once let you down. he had never once failed to protect you. he had never once lost a fight…

“you should join us, roronoa zoro. your talent is unmatched.”

“if i join you do i get a cool face tattoo?”

you muffled a snort, tilting your head forward to hide your genuine smile.

“only the elite agents get—“

“do i get to pick the number?”

“n—“

“i’ve always been partial to number one.” zoro lifted a choice finger and this time you did laugh. you glanced up at him with a soft smile, head tilted slightly in playful disbelief. the man gripping you shoved your head forward and your laugh was cut off.

“let her go. i’m only going to tell you once.” zoro glanced down at his swords like he was bored.

“i’m afraid not, roronoa zoro. her bounty will help me out quite a bit…”

zoro blinked slowly, “the bounty i get for you will help me out too, i’m sure…” he stretched his neck slightly, still looking bored.

“you’ll have to kill me if you think i’m going to just let her go.”

zoro moved so quickly you hadn’t even seen exactly what happened. blood splattered on the bottom of your dress and you flinched. the man’s torso was severed from his legs and you looked up at zoro with your mouth hanging open. he wiped the blade of his sword against the dead baroque works agent and exhaled slowly.

“are you okay?”

the body hit the floor and the grip on your hair slackened. you fought back a wave of nausea as you stood to your feet. you pushed the corpse with your foot and reached for his pocket— procuring his wanted poster and a sack of berry. you tossed both to zoro and eyed you with an almost amused, proud smirk.

“thank you.”

zoro eyed you, looking up from the wanted poster with a confused look, “you don’t need to thank me for protecting you.”

“but you don’t have to… you never needed to step in. you never needed to bring me with you and…”

zoro hesitated against your hand, squeezing it once, “but i did. and i will…”

and that was all he said.

no explanation, no reasoning…

zoro was in the bar, while you slept soundly on the floor above him, safe— he had assured it four times— in your rented room in the shady inn. he exhaled slowly as he drained yet another bottle, letting his head rest against his elbow. he breathed deeply, feeling his thoughts drift to you. how he had possibly landed himself in this situation he had no idea… how you had landed with him and trusted him enough to only sleep when he was nearby…

he cursed under his breath, ignoring the realization that his thoughts had always been drifting to you lately. he rolled the bottle top between his fingers absentmindedly, rubbing his face tiredly. zoro half glanced over at the arrival of two larger men, quickly gauging their threat level. moderate to irritating– he watched them cross the room, hand tightening around his drink, heart rate rising slowly. they walked straight past the bar, past the receptionist- and towards the stairs.

zoro was standing before he set his drink down. hand on his sword, eyes sharp as alarm bells began going off in his head. their posture was too rigid, they walked too heavy, with too much purpose— they hadn’t even stopped to ask for a room or get a key. they hadn’t been in here earlier. which meant only one thing—

they were looking for someone.

zoro knew the exact number of steps from your room to where he was sitting. the idiots had thankfully gone the wrong way at first and he was waiting to greet them outside your door.

“lost, are we?”

his eyes were on his sword, raised and braced for a strike.

“it’s you.”

zoro sighed, dull expression meeting the men, “it’s always me.”

“we’ll split the reward money with you—“

zoro split them before they could make a single move towards your door.

you jumped awake, startled by the sounds of screams. there was a curse and heavy thud outside your door and you stumbled to your feet, reaching out for zoro, who was not beside you. panic began to take hold and you fought to calm your breathing.

you gripped the lamp beside you, teeth gritted in determination. you lifted it, hands shaking, just as the door opened. you shrieked and rushed forward, bringing the lamp down swinging. a hand caught it, sighing slightly. “don’t scream when you attack… it uses too much energy.” the hand released you and gently eased you backwards as he entered the room and closed the door behind him.

you relaxed instantly, letting your arms fall to your side.

zoro.

“zoro,” you breathed out in too much relief, “what happened?”

“nothing. are you okay?”

“i’m— yes?“ he had turned the light on and was now looking you over sternly, assuring himself you were unhurt, “i heard screaming…” zoro eyed you sharply, “don’t worry about it. everything is fine. you’re safe…”

you opened your mouth to respond, but zoro stepped closer, “don’t worry, princess. you’re safe.”

you let yourself relax slightly, moving to open the door. zoro stepped between you and the door, hand gentle on your elbow. clearly he was hiding something but you had learned to trust him…

“i’m staying in here for the rest of the night.”

oh.

“earlier you said—“

“do you not want me to? i can go…”

you didn’t want zoro to go. in fact you had only fallen asleep because he stayed in the room before disappearing downstairs only once he knew you were sleeping.

“stay.”

it came out rushed and unceremonious and almost desperate. you knew men had come for you. you knew they were bounty hunters and zoro had taken care of them before they even reached the door. even still… the look in zoro’s eyes. the intensity and way he was almost desperate to reach you…

“if that’s what you want, princess.”

he still stood so close. still poised and tensed for a strike. braced for an attack…

“please stay.”

“okay…”

you stepped closer— you weren’t sure why. he was already just a finger’s length away. zoro’s breath caught, his chest puffing out slightly like he was thinking about backing up. his hand relaxed on his sword, shoulders tight, hand flexing around nothing, straining to close around your waist.

no.

he couldn’t—

you closed the distance and zoro didn’t stop you. your lips met his like you were scared to— soft, tentative, cautious. zoro’s body tensed, feeling the crash of emotions wash over him like a wave. more emotions than he could recall ever feeling all at once crashing into him like they were at war. his hands moved before his mind caught up— grabbing your waist roughly before he could think better. suddenly the thought of you pulling away even an inch was unbearable. you let out a surprised, breathy laugh and pulled him closer by the edges of his shirt. any restraint or reservations he had snapped. the feelings he hadn’t even come to terms with or realized bubbled to the surface and boiled over when your hands found his hair.

your rushed breathing and messy hands hesitated when your calves brushed against the edge of the bed. your fingers tightened on zoro’s shoulders and he stopped immediately. his hands left your waist and lower back, eyes snapping up to yours. they were wide and hesitant. you had tensed. you already missed his hands on you— you longed for his mouth against you again—

“i’m sorry.”

no.

zoro stepped back, ducking his head.

“i’m sorry… i shouldn’t have—“

“zoro.”

you had kissed him. you knew if you hadn’t moved, it never would have happened—

“i’m sorry. i apologize—“

you pulled him in again, slower this time. more deliberate.

“i’m sorry—“

“no, princess.”

zoro’s breath was heavy against your shoulder, hand gently tucked under the edge of your shirt. you hadn’t gone any further…

“i’ve never— i mean..”

“it’s okay. i haven’t either.”

“it’s— you haven’t?”

“you seem surprised, princess… believe it or not i’ve never had time for it. and i don’t exactly see satisfaction in falling into bed with just anyone…”

you woke up to zoro already up. you had fallen asleep draped in his arms; his usual tension and refusal to move an inch towards you had vanished for the night while he allowed himself to properly hold you.

“zoro?”

“good morning,” zoro stood to his feet, adjusting his swords and eying the door. his shoes were already back on and it looked like he had been up and ready for at least an hour, “we can get going… i expect shellstown is about a day from here.”

oh.

almost as if last night hadn’t happened…

was that all it was?

one night?

you gritted your jaw and stood, ignoring the way your hands suddenly shook.

“everything okay?”

“fine. yes…”

you shouldn’t have expected anything. it never should have happened. you had spent so much time together. so much time close together— it’s inevitable to feel something. even if it’s just a weak moment…

you stood beside zoro at the rail of the ship. zoro had barely spoken all day. he was tense and stiff and even less talkative than usual.

“zoro…”

“don’t.”

you flinched slightly before turning towards you and raising your eyebrows.

“we aren’t talking about it.”

oh.

“and why not?”

“it shouldn’t have happened.”

oh.

“nothing did happen.”

“something happened. it’s good it didn’t go further…”

anger coursed through you before hurt. you crossed your arms and zoro raised his eyebrows at your expression.

“you realize i kissed you?”

“yes.”

“and you didn’t stop me.”

“i know.”

“but it was a mistake? right. are you sure it’s not just that you’re scared?”

zoro spun around so fast you stepped back, “what? scared? of what?”

he wasn’t angry. there was a flicker of hesitation and maybe even something more—

“because you feel it too.”

his eyes snapped to yours and there was panic behind them.

“you know it’s something real and that scares you. i know… i was never meant to even find you. i was supposed to find my brother and then be on my way but—“

“i didn’t plan for you. i plan for everything and… you— i don’t know what to do with it.”

“you don’t have to do anything, zoro.”

“but there’s something… i don’t think i can just ignore it. i didn’t…”

“i know.” you stepped closer to him, exhaling, “it’s not… convenient.” zoro almost laughed, shaking his head as he ran his hand through his hair, “no, it isn’t…”

he turned his attention back to the water and shifted, “i don’t want you to think it was a mistake… that i just wanted to kiss you once and—“

“i know. i don’t think you’ve ever been casual about anything…”

zoro’s mouth twitched into a smile, “i don’t think it can be casual… i would need to love you the way i do everything else… with all of me. fiercely. with everything i have…”

you stepped back, voice catching. zoro had his hand on his sword. he bowed his head, withdrew his sword a few inches and then replaced it in the hilt. you knew the gesture. you knew the meaning… the promise.

the vow—

“zoro—“

“i swore to protect you. now i swear to you… i will protect you. with everything in me… if you’ll have me— if… if you–“

“oh, sanji!”

sanji stopped short as he entered the gulley. his blood heated slightly, stopping shortly to compose himself. you were always ransacking his kitchen. using ingredients— too many or too little— mixing spices that should never touch, overcooking oil, undercooking rice.

“good morning, love,” sanji exhaled slowly, adjusting his apron as he eyed you suspiciously.

“how do i know when this is done?”

you pointed sheepishly at the pan in front of you. sanji blinked once, fighting over the wave of hysterics washing through him. you were cooking fish. for breakfast… a specific fish that paired best with white wine and something sweet—

“i think it’s almost too done, love…” sanji kept his expression soft, ignoring the twitch in his eye.

“shit.” you frowned, turning back to look down at your culinary creation.

“that’s alright! don’t worry about it—“

even with the horrors you created in his kitchen, sanji could never be upset with you. you would frown and bite your lip and start overthinking your abilities and sanji folded instantly. he held your elbow and sighed softly, “it’s not beyond saving…” sanji lifted the pan and turned off the stove, “no, this is still edible…” he inhaled slowly, fighting away a gag at the smell of the mixed spices combining in ways that should never exist.

“you think it’s still okay?”

oh, godsdamn him… he could never ever hurt your feelings or disappoint you.

“i…”

white fish for breakfast.

“can you pass me the eggs?”

“the— eggs?” sanji nearly tumbled over at this, feeling his fingers twitch at his sides, “eggs? you’re making eggs? with—“ ah.

“yeah, i was thinking over easy!”

runny eggs with white fish. for breakfast…

no, it was fine–

it was alright—

of course someone who cooked for fun couldn’t know basic rules and flavor pallets—

“my muffins!”

sanji jumped as if he saw a spider, “you made muffins? you—“

sanji looked around quickly, noting the four all over the floor that he had missed earlier. flour on your shirt and pants where you had inevitably wiped your hands—

his eye twitched, jaw ticking—

“yes, chocolate and orange!”

that actually sounded good. however, with your culinary skills—

“oh, they smell divine, mon cherie—“

you opened the oven and smoke curled up like one of sanji’s cigarettes. he blinked once, fighting the urge to light one right then and there. you pulled them out, beaming proudly. they were lumpy and mushy in some spots, crispy in others— definitely not muffin shaped and most definitely missing baking powder and enough butter.

“oh—“ sanji breathed out, looking at them over your shoulder. now that you couldn’t see his face, sanji didn’t bother to hide his horrified expression.

“something smells good!” luffy had stormed through the door, bright eyed and nearly drooling. he looked to sanji expectantly before his eyes locked onto you. there was a slight blush and a moment of hesitation before he straightened again, returning to his grin.

“good morning!” luffy crossed the gulley to you, pulling you in for a suffocating hug before you could prepare for him.

“i made breakfast!”

luffy’s wide eyes flashed to sanji, chin resting on the top of your head where you couldn’t see his momentary panic. sanji swallowed slowly, keeping his jaw tight as he lit a cigarette. he shook his head very subtly and luffy breathed slowly.

“it smells very good… i can’t wait to try it.” he rubbed your back, keeping you tight against him, glancing over at the stove with a timid expression.

sanji had stomped on zoro’s foot and luffy had punched usopp beneath the table when their facial expressions gave away their reactions to you having made breakfast. they looked at sanji helplessly, while sanji just smiled proudly and helped you set the table. his jaw was entirely too clenched for his smile to be convincing, though luffy still just stared at you like you hung the stars.

“i hope it’s good! i tried something new…”

at this, nami lowered her fork immediately and gasped, “i forgot to check something!” she went running out as chopper and usopp watched her go longingly. sanji sat across from zoro and kicked him once again, not about to be part of you being offended or having hurt feelings.

luffy had already cleared his plate, hand on his stomach with a wide smile. he was looking at you, as if he couldn’t possibly be prouder. you blinked once, looking to him expectantly. you tilted your head, hopeful.

“amazing. you’re good at everything you do…”

sanji and zoro gagged down the first bite of muffins, washing it down with water and whatever juice they could find with enough flavor to cover your cooking. the fish was burnt and dry, the eggs were rubbery yet somehow undercooked and the muffins had three different textures in one bite.

you had just opened your mouth to try your own when luffy cleared his throat. he was looking at you softly, eyebrows raised in that way that made him look like a begging puppy. “could i have some more?” you blinked slowly, sanji and zoro’s mouths hanging open. luffy had cleared his plate and everyone else’s, still smiling widely. he was still watching you with that adoring expression and soft smile.

“sanji, i think you’ll need to make more breakfast… i accidentally ate it all.”

sanji, relieved and almost too eager, stood up and adjusted his apron. zoro and robin looked so relieved it was almost comical and you just smiled to yourself, sliding your plate towards luffy, “are you sure? you liked it?”

luffy stood and kissed your head, thumb brushing over your forehead as he did. he smiled against your hair, “i liked it…” because he wouldn’t hurt your feelings. he would eat everything you ever made him just to see that smile. that proud, loving smile like you truly loved making food for him— “i love you.”

you glanced up at him with a soft smile, hand squeezing the hand that wasn’t on your head, “i love you too…” you closed your eyes as he stayed close, picking your plate clean as sanji started the real breakfast. “are you sure you don’t need help?”

“no—“

everyone answered too quickly. sanji glanced up with a soft smile, eyeing you like he was in disbelief, “quite alright, love. i’ve got it this time… it takes both of us to feed our captain, after all. it’s my turn, you just stay put…”

you missed the relief in everyone else and the way sanji was extremely good at turning you down politely without letting you feel the slightest bit of hurt. luffy kissed your head again as he finished the last of the muffins, licking his fingers clean as if he hadn’t just finished the entirety of the worst meal he had ever tasted.

because it had made you smile.

eren was half asleep when he came to the door. he looked you up at down, eyes heavy lidded, almost looking irritated if you didn’t know his usual expression. he smirked faintly when his eyes landed on your face again, “miss me already?”

“eren. just let me in…”

eren stepped to the side, pushing the door open further so you could duck under his arm. he was still smirking as he closed the door and turned to follow you.

“rough day?”

eren glanced down at you pulling at his belt loops. you scoffed and eyed him with a cool stare, “the people we fight to protect are now our biggest threat... they think we’re demons. there’s conversations of wiping us off the map…”

eren stiffened slightly, letting his arms wrap over your shoulders, “if you dwell on it, you know you’ll worry yourself sick.”

“well, eren—“

“we’re doing what we can. there’s plans in place, there’s talks in the works…”

“we wipe out titans here and all we get is threats as thanks… the entire meeting…armin was trying to play the moderator but levi and jean just kept arguing… if we can’t even agree, how are we supposed to get the rest of the world to trust us?”

“jean is an idiot. the captain couldn’t care less if he’s liked or not. believe it or not, you don’t need to carry the weight of the entire world on your shoulders.”

you glanced up at eren and huffed, “you always say that.”

“because i’m the one that carries the weight of the entire world on my shoulders…”

you sighed and let your head fall forward against his chest. eren draped an arm around your waist, tipping his own head forward so his chin was on your head. “did you come in here to rant?”

you glanced up at him, eyebrows raised— as if you hadn’t just been pulling him towards the bed by the beltloops of his pants. eren smirked to himself, taking your glare as answer, “how shall i have you tonight?”

you clicked your tongue and tilted your head again until your nose almost brushed against his. eren’s eyes softened, then darkened slightly before tucking his hand in your back pocket and yanking you closer. your mouth crashed against his, as if his touch was all the greenlight you needed. his hands shifted down slightly, open palmed against the curve of your thigh. your hands squeezed around his biceps, sliding up, fingers digging into his shoulder. eren breathed out slowly, breath turning ragged as your fingers slid up into his hair. he let out a breath that sounded more like a groan as he pulled you roughly against him once again.

you hummed against his mouth, nearly melting at the way a single finger traced the back of your thigh. he pinched gently and you shifted against him, leg hooking around his waist as you dragged yourself closer. eren smirked against your mouth, lifting you as if you weighed nothing and turned for the bed.

“you know you’ve left an imprint in my mattress…” he dropped you ungracefully on the bed as if dropping a sack of potatoes. you hummed in response, only half listening as your mouth chased him again. you found his lips, tongue brushing against his bottom lip, biting down gently.

“desperate, are we?”

you groaned as eren grabbed your jaw and angled your head so you looked at him, “i believe i said something to you…” he lifted his eyebrows in a scold and you felt your stomach flip as he straddled you.

“are you aware there’s an indent in my mattress now? it’s shaped suspiciously like you- especially in that one position that—“

you scoffed and smacked his hand away, shifting up to crash your mouth against him again. eren hummed in response, wrapping his arms around your lower back and lifting you to meet him. eren let out a breathy laugh, huffing slightly, “not up for talking tonight? fine. you’re always so damn loud anyway…”

your hands tightened on his bicep in a silent resentment to that statement. though when his mouth found your throat you found it impossible to argue with anything he said— the satisfied, smug snort almost had you shoving him back just to eye him incredulously and think of something to say back. but his teeth grazed your collarbone and his hands slid up your sides under your shirt and all the fight and resignation evaporated in a shuddering breath.

eren’s hands were soft. where yours were rough and calloused from holding reins, operating odm equipment and swinging swords, his were smooth. you wondered if he took the time to heal them, too. if he chose to do it— stupidly, if maybe he did it for you— so when his grip on you was rough and possessive, his fingers were soft and sensitive enough to feel all of it. every twitch, every goosebump, every shaky inhale in reaction to him. you bit your lip as his face buried against your stomach, teeth and mouth agonizingly precise against the beginning of the v just below your waistband.

your hands flew up instinctively, fingers tangling in his hair, gripping it like it was the only thing keeping you grounded to earth. eren breathed out again— a deep laugh that could have been a groan, “always so impatient… and so desperate for me.”

you huffed again, too overly sensitive and hyper aware of everywhere he was touching you to form a coherent argument. “this was supposed to be a one time thing, you know. what’s it been, six months now?”

you pulled eren’s hair roughy this time, yanking his head up so his eyes were on you. he was smirking slightly, lips leaning their spot along your stomach. he lifted his eyebrows, “yes?” he was always so damn smug. always so infuriatingly taunting and cocky.

“shut up.”

he lifted his head completely, open mouthed kisses along your stomach coming to a screeching halt. “ask nicely…”

you fought the urge to whimper in frustration or to smack him again, “please, mighty and powerful eren jeager… use your mouth for something else.”

this only made his smirk grow, clearly inflating his ego further. his eyes flicked down your body before meeting your eyes again and leaning in. he shifted once again so he was straddling you, rolling his hips slightly to nudge your legs open. he settled between them, chest inches from your own. eren held himself up with one hand and pulled your shirt up with the other, so swiftly you had almost missed it. your shirt was discarded over eren’s headboard and he was leaning down to kiss you before you could catch your breath.

your hands found his hair once again, burying your fingers in it, massaging his head, twisting strands of hair around your fingers. eren tensed slightly, eyes nearly rolling to the back of his head as he pushed up against you further in response.

you hated how messy you were for him. one look had you buckling and he knew it. even if you hadn’t come to him, he would have showed up at your door inevitably, arms crossed, eyebrow raised in a scold. just friends, but he sure knows every inch of you… just friends, but surely this is not nothing… you couldn’t possibly react this way to a meaningless hookup. your body wouldn’t anticipate just anyone— you wouldn’t taste him even in your dreams, waking up sore and craving eren more than breakfast…

just friends but—

but–

eren shifted once more and your wandering thoughts died in a whimper of his name. his forehead rested against your neck, placing kisses along your collarbone while he pushed himself closer. you moved with him, eyes closed, fingers fisted in his hair and on his shirt, clinging to him like he was the only thing you knew. it was the same song and dance. he always let you in. he always knew exactly what would get to you… he never just left it feeling casual. he was meticulous and agonizing and deliberate—

eren would kiss you on the forehead, rest his head against yours while you caught your breath, thumb shifting from your temple to your forehead to wipe your sticky hair from your skin. then he would tell help you find your clothes, walk you to the door, wish you goodnight and give you one last friendly, platonic, kiss on the cheek.

you never stayed the night.

you never fell asleep in his arms.

it could never get too real.

it could never feel like anything more than it was.

you shrugged your shirt back on slowly, eren not showing any shame at watching every second of you. he shifted behind you on his knees, pulling your shirt back slightly to place a open mouthed kiss on your shoulder. you tensed, hands freezing at the hem of your shirt.

oh.

that was new…

“sounds like someone’s in the hall…”

you hummed in acknowledgment, standing to your feet to pull your pants back on all the way. you glanced around for your shoes, feeling your chest tighten a little at the thought of making the long walk back to your room. once again.

you knew things could never be different. because of the world. because of the curse… because in less than two years, eren yeager would die. you had known. going into this. becoming friends with him, staying by his side even after everything— so you pushed it down. gritting your teeth and taking every night with him you could get before one of you came to your senses and ended it. before you let yourself think about how it had never been casual. how it had never been just a distraction. how a one night stand could have been with anyone. how you could have showed up at connie’s door instead. or jean’s. or even armin, though you knew he would be terrified of the mere thought of using you like a distraction.

it was eren. it would only ever be eren. because even before… you had never once imagined a life with someone. you had made plans. talked about the future. and then he transformed and the future you suddenly envision shattered.

“do you want to stay?”

you flinched, pulled from your thoughts so suddenly you felt like you were falling. “sorry?”

“when we ride out tomorrow… were you part of the squad or were you staying behind?”

oh.

right…

“i’m… i’m going. i think jean, sasha and i were assigned a separate task.”

eren just nodded, glancing between you and the door awkwardly.

right.

“goodnight, eren.”

you stiffly walked to the door, feeling your stomach twist like it did every time. you felt guilty, you felt giddy— your head spun with the aftermath of your visit, your stomach knotted with anxiety and longing.

things could never be different…

you knew that.

“hey?”

you flinched so hard you nearly tumbled over as connie met you in the hallway. he was eyeing you with raised eyebrows, almost like he was deciding if he was dreaming.

“are you…sleep walking?”

“no, connie.”

“oh,” he nodded slowly, deciding if that was enough of an answer. for connie, it wasn’t. “can i ask you something?”

great.

“what is it?” you tried not to sound irritated but your head throbbed, your legs were still shaking and your stomach was greatly debating on emptying all its contents onto the floor.

“what are you doing over here?”

you blinked once.

shit.

“did you get lost? were you looking for someone? jean’s already asleep, if you were wanting to talk about tomorrows excursion…”

it had been jean’s idea to split the usual team up. that could be a valid excuse to be here…

“i wasn’t looking for jean…”

you were too tired and spread too thin to lie tonight— even if a perfect story was handed to you on a plate.

“oh… okay.” connie eyed you like he had more questions now than he did before. you eyed him tiredly and he decided to drop it.

“i can walk you back to your room if you want?”

he was always remarkably good at reading you...

“sure, connie… thanks.”

by the time you were halfway to your room you had half a mind to tell connie everything. it would be nice to vent. to release your frustration and confusion in some other way besides sleeping with the source of your frustration and confusion… in a way you thought maybe some of them knew. that they didn’t miss the glances between you. the way things used to be between you… the silent longing and desperation for things to be different—

you were at your door before you had uttered a word. probably for the best…

“thanks, connie.”

“hey, don’t mention it. you looked lonely.”

you almost laughed.

how could someone be so lonely even while wrapped around someone and tangled in their sheets every night…

“maybe i am… sorry i wasn’t very talkative company.”

“that’s okay… i’m too tired for good conversation. i would likely just end up saying something stupid anyway…”

your mouth twitched up slightly, realizing you had almost told him about your not-at-all-sleeping arrangement with eren.

“yeah,” you laughed pathetically at yourself, “me too.”

it was the same dream again. it was always some form of the same thing… you were at the ocean. armin and mikasa were laughing, jean, sasha and connie were splashing each other and tackling one another into the water. captain levi had smiled. and eren stood beside you, gripping your hand as he convinced himself it was real. you would kiss him. sometimes you would wrap your arms around him and really mean it. other times he would push you in the water with a guilty smile. it was always good… it was always happy.

you always woke up in a cold sweat, laying alone, stomach sinking, feeling more lonely than you had before.

breakfast did nothing to improve your mood. connie and jean were arguing and sasha and mikasa had tried getting them to drop it, while only making it worse and louder—

“what the hell were you doing last night?”

you stopped suddenly, eyebrows lifted. jean was eyeing you accusingly and you made sure to note that he looked more exhausted and stressed than usual before lashing out completely.

“i’m sorry?”

“connie says he ran into you in the hallway.”

you exhaled slowly, turning to look at connie with a look that made him pale. “am i not allowed to go on walks at night?”

“the night before such an important surveillance operation?”

“what’s the problem here, kirstein?”

eren.

shit.

historically, eren had never had an issue confronting jean. historically, when you were involved, things got escalated…

“i was just asking her a question… this doesn’t concern you, eren.”

“it looks like you’re interrogating her instead of letting her eat her breakfast, jean.”

“oh, am i not allowed to talk to her now?”

you stiffened, fighting the urge to shift between them before punches could be thrown. eren’s jaw ticked and something flashed in his eyes.

“i don’t know. maybe not.“

you put a hand on eren’s wrist, tight enough to force him to acknowledge it. you breathed out slowly, eyeing him pleadingly. let it go. please…

“alright, then maybe i can ask you what she was doing in our hallway after midnight?”

fuck.

eren, instead of his usual snide, teasing remark about being your babysitter, smirked. something about his expression was off. something about the look in his eye sent alarm bells ringing…

“she was with me.”

your knees nearly gave out at this. your hand found the table before you could stumble forward and collapse onto the floor completely. eren stared at jean like a dare— his mouth twitched in a smirk and he didn’t even look at you.

“she was with you?”

now armin, mikasa, sasha and connie were staring at you with expressions somewhere between horrified and confused.

“yes, jean. she was with me.”

jean blinked once, glancing to you— you hoped your cheeks weren’t flushed too badly— and looked back at eren, as if putting the pieces together.

“and what was so important that you had to meet so late at night?”

connie coughed, mikasa had suddenly grown mjch smaller, and you turned to eren with a furious glare. warning. almost pleading…

“well, jean, you’re a smart guy, aren’t you? i’m sure you can figure it out.”

there was a small gasp from armin. sasha had stopped eating and now looked between the two of you with something of a smug, open mouthed smile. mikasa stared at you with an expression you couldn’t read and jean had gone several shades of scarlet.

“you’re hooking up!?”

connie turned to you, wide eyed and startled.

“connie.” you hissed through gritted teeth, wishing you could vanish right then and there.

someone behind you snickered and you tensed, “that desperate, hm? you could have come to find me instead of fucking a titan…”

your jaw tightened just as eren turned slowly. his demeanor was just as calm as it had been, though there was a deadly storm crashing behind his eyes. the calmness with which he could kill someone is what scared you the most. his breathing never changed, his expression never changed, he just seemed to get taller-

“she doesn’t want you, recruit. and if you enjoy breathing, i suggest you never bring that up that again.”

you flinched slightly, thrown by his mood today. he wasn’t reserved. he wasn’t subtle… he was radiating with an intensity you had always found intoxicating. he was…. jealous? no.

possessive.

the word reverberated through your skull as you watched him stare down an entire room. he may as well have just publicly claimed you. the way he stood slightly between you and everyone else like he didn’t even realize what he was doing,

“eren.”

he was so tense you worried muscles would snap. he turned his head to you slowly, eyes remaining just as intense and fiery.

he could cause an even bigger scene. someone could say something to make it worse—

“you forgot your cloak.”

that seemed to pull him out of it. he blinked once, shoulders relaxing just slightly as he looked you over, “right… of course…”

and he turned without another word and walked out. just as suddenly and silently as he had come in.

the others blinked slowly, looked to you for an explanation. your stomach was twisting again and you fought away the tears stinging in your eyes.

there it was.

a six month secret…

something that was never supposed to happen in the first place now saw the light of day.

you should have laughed it off. shook your head with an exasperated smile and say eren was joking. you had been in his room though it was for something much more innocent.

you followed him instead.

eren was at the stables already. he was leaning against the side of the stalls, arms crossed, brooding like a royal pain in your ass. he grunted when you approached, eyes shifting to you coolly.

“what the fuck was that?”

his lip twitched, eyes trailing from you to the ground, “nothing.”

“bullshit.”

eren grunted again, turning to his horse. your hand moved to close around his wrist and he countered it by grabbing both of yours. he lifted your arms above your head and pinned you between him and the wall, “what was that?” his tone had dropped and your pulse raised.

“eren.”

“so what if people know? you think we’re the only two people here fucking?”

“eren…”

he lowered his head slightly, hands on your wrists as he leaned in closer, “if you keep saying my name like you’re going to scold me or beg me for something, i’m going to lose it.”

you didnt fight him. you didn’t even bother pushing him off you, despite knowing he was barely holding you. your breath caught, pulse racing as he looked you over like a meal.

“it was your idea,” you forced yourself to breath steadily, shaking slightly, “to keep it a secret.”

“it was your idea to do it in the first place.”

“and you never stopped me! not once… not once did you send me away and tell me to find someone else to—“

his eyes were on you in a flash, nearly making you flinch. “someone else to what? what did you just say?”

something about his tone made your body ignite. chills broke out along your arms as he took you in with a furious expression. you had seen him like this… intense. brooding. full of rage he didn’t know what to do with… nights he took you like he hated you. where you just let him use up every ounce of pent up rage and anger and frustration. over and over and over… neither one of you having enough sense to stop. neither one of you thinking of the repercussions when it stopped feeling casual and meaningless. when it shifted to something primal— feral… a need that suddenly was no longer about needing an outlet, but needing each other.

it had never been about just anyone…

you had known that for years.

you had known you would never feel the same way about anyone else that you felt about eren. distance hadn’t worked. the cover of friendship, the way you always ran to him first when he returned from a scouting…

“say that again.”

it wasn’t a question. he wasn’t being playful or making fun of the way you had come to him first.

“i said find someone else… i could have—“

he was kissing you then. so suddenly and so full of desperation that it made your head spin.

“no.” it was more growl than words.

fuck.

he had never once kissed you like that. even in the messiest of nights when you feared for the structure of you bed frame— it had never been like that. and in the open— not behind closed doors. not while the other half of his body was busy elsewhere—

you pulled away first, only because you couldn’t breathe. you sucked in air like you had been drowning— and eren just chased you again. his hands found the back of your neck, your jaw, yanking you back against him, pushing until you were flush against the wall.

“don’t you ever,” his mouth trailed down your throat and your fingers gripped his hair and the back of his shirt just to stay standing, “fucking say that again.”

oh.

he was…

jealous?

no.

eren pulled away, eyes dark and heavy with desire. he eyed you like a man who was starved— as if in his mind he already had you bent over some surface—

possessive.

your fingers slid through his hair as he tilted against you slightly, knee gently pushing between your legs to get closer. you let out a shaky breath that only encouraged him further.

at any moment and entire squadron would come out—

captain levi would—

“you’re mine.”

eren’s words nearly dropped you.

your breath stuttered, letting out a small gasp as he bit down on your throat.

“what?”

your voice was broken— shattered along with that small bit of restraint in your chest. that part you had buried— those feelings, that all consuming flame that had always burned deep down—

“you heard me.”

eren was so close. pressed up against you as if there wasn’t the chance of someone walking by at any moment. he lowered his head slightly, mouth closing around your throat, just below your jaw. you sucked in shaky breath, hands gripping his arms to keep yourself standing.

“eren—“

“what?” his voice was thick, heavy with something that made your head spin. he closed the gap between you again, suddenly kissing you like he had been holding himself back this entire time–

your words died in a hum, grabbing onto him with a new desperation, just to keep yourself standing. you had fought this for so long— buried it down deep, letting yourself accept that you would never have more of him than just-

“i’m in love with you.” it came out with another moan as his hands tightened on your hips and his open mouthed kisses turned to tongue. before you could stop it, as you cursed yourself for arching into him and dragging him closer like it was instinct.

eren pulled back slowly, eyes dark and wild, “i told you not to say that…” he eyed you like he was disappointed, “i told you not to love me. i told you—“

this time it was you who wrapped your arms around his neck, looking up at him like you were finally allowed to finally see him. “i know. i know…”

his chest rose and fell like he was holding himself back. “you can’t just say shit like that. you can’t just—“

“you can’t just say i’m yours and act jealous and possessive and convince me that it’s still casual.”

eren stepped back, hands still on your hips, eyeing you like he was solving a puzzle. he opened his mouth, closed it. blinked once, ran a hand through his hair.

“it’s not-“

“jeager.”

you moved to step back— for nothing, since you were pinned against a wall– eren lifted his head with a sigh. levi was eying the pair of you with an irritated expression— though it wasn’t much different than his usual expression so you couldn’t gauge how much trouble you were actually in.

“untangle yourselves please and let’s go.” his tone was evident that he wasn’t actually asking.

you put your hand on eren’s chest, moving to push him away. his eyes were back on you, freezing you in place, “we aren’t finished with this…”

“eren—“

“i know, i know. just… ride close to me, okay?”

your heart fluttered slightly, feeling heat in your cheeks. you smiled to yourself, despite knowing that everything fought against the two of you.

“okay…”

you edged your horse forward, closing the gap between you and jean. “connie! get back in line you dumbass—“ armin’s protest was ignored as connie squished himself between you and jean, to which eren nudged closer, eyes sharp.

“i’m sensing some tension, gang.”

you rolled your eyes and clicked your tongue, urging your horse forward further. “mainly in the sexual sense—“ you muttered a curse, refusing to turn and acknowledge connie’s smug smile or eren’s murderous expression.

“connie,” jean breathed out slowly, clearly spiraling at the thought of dealing with this, “get back in line. we’re not meant to break formation for anything. captain levi will have your head if you aren’t—“

“abnormal!”

you shifted hard in your saddle, turning sharply and nearly crashing into eren’s horse as you reversed. you were one of the strongest rider with the fastest horse so your job was always spreading the word down the line.

eren watched you anxiously, eyes momentarily faltering away from the enemy. you cursed as his horse ran him directly into a tree branch and he nearly tumbled off the back. you grabbed the hood of his cloak and cursed, “eren—“ his horse scooted out from underneath him, tucked his tail and galloped for home.

“what the hell is with you today?”

you shifted awkwardly as he scrambled on behind you the rest of the way, arms around your stomach. you would have sworn he did it on purpose—

“i’m sorry.”

not good enough.

“eren!”

“i’m sorry! i don’t know…”

you groaned in frustration and spun your horse back around, pushing it forward back to levi’s line.

“there’s three!”

you barely heard connie over the wind against your ears and your horse’s heavy breathing and pounding footsteps. you cursed, digging your heels further into your mare’s sides.

“why is jeager with you—“

levi’s eyes were sharp, already noting something was wrong before you had even approached.

“abnormals…”

levi narrowed his eyes and leaned forward, pushing his horse faster, “wonderful.”

you cursed as you shifted your weight from jean to connie, nearly crying out as you tried to take a step.

“easy! hey—“

“where’s eren?”

“i think you should be more worried about you—“

“armin!”

armin’s eyes widened on you, quickly throwing the reins over his horse’s neck and rushing towards you.

“what—“

“where’s eren?”

“he— mikasa– he’s with mikasa and the captain— what happened?”

“i almost got eaten. eren, he—“

“that’s why he turned… i heard the scream and— mikasa vanished… i saw jean carrying you and—“

“i should have stayed—“

“eren is fine. you would have been trampled in that outbreak…”

“he—“

“get her to the medics! let’s go!”

“armin, i’m fine! i want to—“

you sat on your bed, glaring at jean and connie who had taken it upon themselves to guard you and forbid you from leaving.

“sorry, armin’s orders. you aren’t to leave.”

“jean,” you huffed, “i’m—“

“don’t say you’re fine. you sprained your ankle and you’re damn lucky your foot didn’t get ripped off.”

you huffed, crossing your arms and pouting pathetically. connie opened his mouth with a smug, smartass smirk but whatever he was going to say died as a door slammed into him. your door flew open, eren, wide eyed and disheveled, looked around with a wild expression.

you breathed in slowly, “i’m fine, eren.”

“where did you go?” his tone made connie and jean flinch. “i had you on my shoulder and— i didn’t know what— did you– did i drop you? are you— are—“

“she’s fine… connie caught her and we carried her back—“

“you—“ eren’s hands shook and you shifted to stand.

“no.” three voices snapped at you at once and you glared, “stay there.” you leaned back with a sigh, letting your head fall back against the pillow.

“i was more worried about you—“

“she’s fine. if anything, you saved her.”

“i’m— i just… i saw my mom and—“

“jean, connie, you can go.”

“are you—“

“get out, jean.”

jean flinched and connie pulled him for the door before it escalated again. you glanced at eren and said nothing. you just watched, blinking once.

eren was running his hands through his hair, breathing out shakily. you watched him intently, pulse rising slightly, watching the early signs of him slipping again.

“eren.”

his eyes flashed to you, pinning you in place, stare burning— he was starting to spiral. he was starting to slip. his hands shook, held in a tight fist while his other hand ran through his hair, tangling in the hairtie that held part of it back.

“eren, i’m okay.”

“no.”

“eren.”

“no,” he said your name again and his voice softened slightly, “you almost got ripped to pieces. your leg was in that titans mouth! you could have—“

“you saved me.”

there was still titan blood on your shirt. and you didn’t have the heart to tell eren that some of it was yours… your leg was bandaged tight enough to hurt, though the sting and ache still carried over every other thought.

“your ankle is broken. seems like i did a pretty shitty job of saving you.”

you shifted again and eren’s eyes flashed to you. this time they were full of worry and guilt. he eyed you softly, almost sadly, “i thought i was going to lose you…”

“you didn’t.”

“but if i had, i—“

“stop…”

you shifted once more, moving to make room on your bed. eren hesitated momentarily, eyes widened slightly, hesitant—

“you are awfully worried for a friend.”

your voice was playful, but as soon as you said it you regretted it. eren’s eyes were back on you, that darkness sinking in again.

“a friend?”

the edge to his voice returned—

you breathed in deeply, deciding to bait it instead of back down and try to soothe him.

“isn’t that what you said?”

“you know damn well what i said earlier.”

“remind me… i did just go through something traumatic. memory loss is common.”

eren’s eyes flashed, stepping closer to you, teeth gritted. he realized you were taunting him. you were playing with him and he didn’t hate it— you wanted him to say it again. you wanted to hear it all from him… eren’s mouth twitched, savoring how smug you looked, thinking you had control.

eren put his palm on the mattress and leaned in, “if you want to do this now, you can’t be shocked and back out when you get all of me…”

a chill washed down your spine, goosebumps appearing along your entire body.

“i warned you… i told you— i begged you- not to do this. not to love me… not to stay anywhere near me. i warned you— i told you what would happen— what will happen…”

“i don’t care.”

now it was eren’s turn to eye you with wide eyes, saying nothing.

“i know what it all means. i know what will happen…”

“you—“

“i have loved you since the first time i jumped between you and those soldiers. when i argued with jean and connie to trust you… when i stood against an entire room— every superior officer— and i swore that you were good. that you were…”

eren had shifted slightly, hand gentle against the bandage around your ankle, “i’m sorry. i’m sorry for all of it. that things aren’t different… that i— that you were dragged into this…”

“eren. it doesn’t matter. when i first came to you i didn’t know what i was doing… i expected you to stare at me with that irritated glare and tell me to get some sleep. i convinced myself it was just going to be once… that it was nothing and i could realize that i was never…”

“never, what?”

“in love with you.”

“say it again…”

“you already know, eren.”

“i want to hear it again… please.”

you closed your eyes and slowed your breathing, “i’m in love with you… despite everything. despite knowing how it ends…”

“you know what you’ll go through… for loving me…”

“i know.”

he breathed out your name, shifting to lower himself beside you, “i don’t want to hurt you. i don’t want you to go through losing anyone else… can you still say it with confidence? that you love me? that you won’t resent me when i leave you?”

“it’s too late for that now.”

“no, it’s not— you can kick me out. you can—“

“no, eren.”

“you—“

“it’s only you. if that means i lose you in just over a year… if that means i lose you tomorrow. i would have had you sooner. i would have loved you this entire time if you had just let me… the hookups, the nights where it almost felt real… you claimed me. you got jealous and said i was yours, so why— this entire time—“

“i don’t want to leave you.”

your breath caught, suddenly feeling all the questions and fight evaporate in your chest. you said nothing— you had nothing to say to that. your eyes met his, the room seeming to shrink. this entire time, he had loved you. he had fought it, argued against it, convincing himself it was easier to love from a distance. to keep it casual. to spare feelings…

“i just want to love you…”

eren flinched, shifting back to his feet and taking a step back. his eyes flashed to you, paler, cheeks flushed, breathing heavier.

“can i please? just… just let me love you. in whatever time we have left… before—“

eren was kissing you, then. both hands on your face, pushing you back against your pillows, shifting until he was on top of you. his hands slid to your jaw, grip tightening just slightly. your breath caught, head spinning slightly as he kissed you with all the force he could muster— shaking slightly as he held himself back.

his hand gripped your hand, sliding it up over your head as he pushed you further into the mattress. you followed with your other hand, nearly losing it as his hand closed around both of your wrists. his other hand traced your jaw, thumb tracing down your throat before his hand rested against it, closing just slightly.

you let out a shaky gasp, closing your eyes as his mouth found yours again. as you chased him to keep up, his mouth moved to your throat, “you’re mine.” you nodded, breathless. “do you hear me?”

you nodded again, unable to manage much else between his grip and the way he was on your mouth again like he was starved.

he had finally broken. that tidal wave crashed down, the dam he had built all for the sake of protecting you and keeping you from getting too close— shattered as he kissed you with everything in him.

the kisses weren’t gentle. his hold on you wasn’t light— it was rough, desperate— like just this moment could make up for everything he had wasted. recover all the days— years he had been fighting it.

“eren—“

his name in a near whimper almost had him losing his mind but he pulled back enough just to look at you, “is it your ankle? am i hurting you?”

you placed your hand over his on your throat and pressed down gently. you shook your head, reassuring him that he wasn’t—

“i love you.”

his eyes softened for a moment, though his possessive and hungry grip didn’t waver, “i love you too. i always have and it drives me fucking crazy…”

another kiss, messy and needy.

his hair fell in your face, your fingers tangling through, messing up the way he had pulled it out of his face.

“i love you…” he whispered against the edge of your collarbone, trailing up your throat, to your ear, “but this makes it harder.”

your fist tightened on the fabric of his shirt, keeping yourself tethered to him, “i don’t care—“

truthfully, with his hands on you, his mouth on your throat and his waist between your legs, you didn’t care about anything—

“i love you…” and eren kept saying it, repeating it, mumbling your name against your ear, “which is why i have to do it… to keep you safe.”