Change It Now

Good choices lead to great accomplishments and a deep sense of well-being. In our lifetime, we will be presented with situations that require us to make a choice. A choice that will shape how the rest of our life pans out.

Choice plays a key part in shaping your God-given destiny.

How you wish to be known rests in your making the right decisions, the right choices, at the right time in the direst and most difficult of situations and circumstances. First, let us establish what the difference between a decision and a choice is. The line between what constitutes a decision versus a choice may be small. A choice is an…

Why am I a People Pleaser? Typically, the intense need to please and care for others is deeply rooted in either a fear of rejection and/or fear of failure.

I asked myself this very question, perhaps if you are reading this it is time to ask yourself the exact same one: Am I a people pleaser? If the answer is YES, or I am not sure, or if you know someone who is this blog will benefit you all. It is time to begin again and live from a place of victory and not needing others approval. You are already approved of by one who will never reject you or see…

“Why do others seem so self-assured whilst I struggle and battle constantly with feeling inadequate and not being good enough?”

“Why do others seem so self-assured whilst I struggle and battle constantly with feeling inadequate and not being good enough?”

In my roles as a life coach and emergency nurse, the most common confession clients and patients would share with me is that they thought they were failures and felt like a fraud in their own lives. My confession to you, is I know how they felt, I feel the same way.…

I don’t know about you, I want simplicity in my life. Life has become overcomplicated don’t you think?

  God says not only are you accepted; you’re valuable.

How much do you think you’re worth?  I’m not talking about your net worth; I’m talking about your self-worth.  Don’t ever confuse your valuables with your value as a person.  You can be rich or poor but it has nothing to do with your value as a person. 

I don’t know about you, I want simplicity in my life. Life has become overcomplicated…

Garbage In Garbage Out

We are products of our influences that is everything we hear and listen too, everything we see and watch, everything we speak and has been spoken to us, everything we do and has happened to us, everyone we associate with online and offline. Those who we spend most time with in our personal lives and professional lives. The loving question to you my dear friend and reader is ‘What are you feeding…

Six Signs of a Healthy Relationship

Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance (1 Corinthians 13:4-7).

It could be said that true…

Ending a relationship is never easy.

A new beginning

  Today “epiphany” carries a range of meanings, including “an intuitive grasp of reality,” “an illuminating discovery, realization, disclosure, or insight,” or simply “a revealing scene or moment.” My definition of an epiphany is “a moment of sudden or great revelation that usually changes you in some way.”

Sometimes life presents us with circumstances that we eventually have to…

We all know someone or know of someone who is or has suffered with depression.

Were you tender and gentle, generous and kind with your words and thoughts. Or do you think they should ‘snap out of it’?

I personally have met with many people who have been touched by the ‘black dog’. Some have been haunted by this torturous darkness. It can happen to any of us, at any time. So I would like to speak out on behalf of those that have experienced depression or are experiencing depression. To raise awareness of their struggle and challenge you the untouched to reach out and show your support. We have to acknowledge depression and not ignore it or cover it up.

Together we can help each other.

When someome is suffering from depression whether an acute onset that is short lived or chronically where they have been plauged with dark moments ongoing for a while. They feel they are alone, it hurts and it challenges social norms.

Let them know they are not alone.

Don’t try and fix them. Don’t meddle or interfere. Don’t tell them to snap out of it. Don’t look down on them. Depression can sneak up on any of us regardless of age or gender. It is a heavy burden and the person imprisoned by the darkness, feels helpless and trapped.

Let them know they are not a burden.

As we get older it may be easier for triggers to be recognised. People, places or certain events may spark a chain reaction that has a negative impact. It is important these triggers are managed well.

Be patient.

There is not always a pattern that follows any previous depression. Depression can be wild and unruly, it has no rules. They can do their best to fight it. It is not an easy battle.

Be gentle.

Their minds become distorted the longer the depression continues. Every emotion is magnified. Or there can be a deep sense of apathy or absence of emotion, a numbness. It affects the fullness of living and seeps insidiously into all areas of their living. It is important to show compassion and forgive them for feeling the way they do. Depression isn’t easy for those experiencing it or those supporting the depressed.

For all of us.

Life is a miracle and its full depth is not always easy to take in. When we lose faith in our own abilities, when we lack courage or deny ourselves love, it is not a weakness to let someone close to us that we trust and respect lift us up, until we can lift ourselves up.

Who or what are you allowing to steal your joy? Well that is quite enough of that. It is time to reclaim your joy. Joy changes EVERYTHING. Yep I am telling you it does. It certainly has for me. It changes how you, see, hear and feel the world around you. Let’s face it my gorgeous ones we deserve to be joyful.

It is contagious.

I would rather be infected by someones joy than misery. How about you? Yes, but Debbie you don’t understand?! STOP that thought process right now. I DO understand I was held hostage by misery for sometime. Then I discovered the only ransom I had to pay to regain my joy had already been paid for me, for you, for everyone. 1 Timothy 2:6 Now keep reading regardless of your faith. The same principles apply to all of us. Non of us are exempt.

Joy is stronger than seeking happiness.

Happiness is external. It’s based on situations, events, people, places, things, and thoughts. It massages our ego. Joy is internal. It is not reliant on people places or things. It dwells deep within us and nourishes our soul.

Joy brings fulfilment and purpose.

So how do I get me some joy our Debs? I hear you ask. Take a look at this comparison and as you read it, simply have an open mind and ask yourself to look deeper at your own life. People are drawn more to those that radiate joy like a magnet, as they feel calm, soothing and peaceful to be around.

Happiness

Meaning: Happiness is an emotion in which one experiences feelings ranging from contentment and satisfaction to bliss and intense pleasure.

Causes: earthly experiences, material objects.

Emotion: outward expression of elation.

Timeframe: temporary, based on outward circumstances

Example: In the midst of life’s ups and downs happiness is still present.

Analogy: Happiness is a state. Think of it as a 100 story building and each level corresponds to a happiness value. And that happiness will persist for quite a long time

Life: Happiness can be experienced from any good activity, food or company.

Joy

Meaning: Joy is a stronger, less common feeling than happiness. Witnessing or achieving selflessness to the point of personal sacrifice frequently triggers this emotion. Feeling spiritually connected to God or to people.

Causes: Spiritual experiences, caring for others, gratitude, thankfulness.

Emotion: inward peace and contentment.

Timeframe: lasting, based on inward circumstances.

Example: Serving others, sometimes through sacrifice with no possible personal gain. Witnessing justice for the less fortunate. Feeling close to God.

Analogy: Joy is that sudden burst of happiness. Joy is like the elevator in that building that takes you up to higher levels of happiness only for a small amount of time and back. The more you stay in the causes of Joy the longer the experience.

Life: Joy is a byproduct of a moral lifestyle.

Improving our lives means facing the truth and that can be tricky. Are you stuck in a cycle of seeking approval? Take a big courageous breath and have a read.

It is time to stop kidding yourselves? Seriously some of you are like this child stuck behind this fence feeling left out, lost and judging others for not being there behind that fence with you, where you expect them to be. Your truths, the things you believe about others are keeping you miserable. Even though you are trying so hard to prove to the outside world you are so happy.

Why

Some of you think you have got over stuff and are liberated from the bondage of the chains, but really you are still locked in. Your social news feeds show the complexity of your mind and the opposite of what your posts would have people believe.

Protest

‘Thou doth protest too much’ … Your posts declaring to the world that you realise who your friends are, where you are better off and how life is much better with these realisations reveals that you are still stuck in the cycle of seeking social approval.

Brutal

I know it seems brutal to say this, all you have done is swapped sides. You’ve gone from seeking the approval of those you have moved away from to now seeking the approval of those who have done the same. So the very thing you are trying to overcome you really haven’t. You are so angry at yourself and others that you are trying to prove to the outside world you really are OK. Truth is, you are not OK you are just pretending and still blaming others for your own weakness. For those of us that have been there and moved through it, it is glaringly obvious.

Stop

Draw a line. Now is the time to really let it all go. Turn it all around and face up to the fact that you are still really avoiding looking in the mirror. You see if you were really in a peaceful state of mind and you really had found that inner peace you are trying to convince everyone you have, you would not be shouting about others behaviour the way you do. Nor would you feel about people the way you do. Perhaps you are avoiding the truth because the pain is too much to bare, that at the core of all this it is you causing yourself unnecessary pain and heartache. Truly liking yourself and not needing approval of anyone would leave you in a state of mind that would not have you putting all your friendships / relationships under a microscope and over analysing them.

Question

Would you want to be your friend right now, knowing what is really going on inside your head, the thoughts you have towards others and the pretence you are displaying to the outside world? They say you attract what you really think of, you can’t hide from your thoughts so perhaps what you are attracting right now is down to you. Perhaps you need to take a closer look and delve deeper and deal with yourself.

Truth

Peace of mind, great friendships and true inner joy can only be yours when you have really dumped all the baggage and moved on. You’ll know you’ve moved on when you stop telling the world you have moved on and expecting so much from others. Each of us possesses the ability to heighten our emotional intelligence. Many won’t try to develop a higher EQ because it is the most uncomfortable thing you will ever do. It reveals our weaknesses and pride likes to keep those hidden. You deserve to be free of your bondage.

Liberate

I’ll bet without all this clogging up your mind you make the most awesome friend and one day you will teach others how you cured your approvalitis and many lives will be improved as a result. First you have to free yourself and stop pretending you are healed of your past when you are clearly displaying it in your present. You cannot reach out and offer others healing if you are not healed. You cannot find healing in those that are not healed. You cannot heal if you are still licking your wounds. Give yourself and others a break.