be kind

Parents be like that’s my emotional support eldest daughter

parents be like that’s the third parent in the family, my eldest daughter

parents be like that’s my parent, my eldest daughter

i asked their permission to post this but i don’t think they realized how many notes it would get. they will either be delighted or horrified. maybe both

the sound of the coins adds to it

[1920′s gangster voice] every single one’a you’s…… every single one’a you’s is valid…….

t’anks boss 

!!! THAT BLUE ONE, THO

Where in the World is my WIG?

this changed my life

this was written before the printing press was invented and it still sounds like a modern day shitpost

a form of indian poetry, keh (say) mukarni (denial) is an interesting genre of riddles played between two young women, where one of them describes something in a way that it is mistaken by the other girl as her beloved, and finally turns out to be something completely different

@sodomymcscurvylegs

what is poetry if not the memes for our foremothers

okay this is possibly bonkers advice but I’ve found that writing a cover letter is so easy if you just like. briefly inhabit the persona of a high elf who thinks they’re hot shit and cannot imagine why any of their previous work experience would be anything less than gobsmackingly impressive. “as you will see in my resume, I have extensive experience with…” “I am ideal for this position because…” “I’ve noticed this thing you do well and here’s how I will help do it even better…” just really go for it you know, just act like you’re already half hired 

They’re also meant for hiltops, not small rooms. Cant get the right reverb with all that echo.

they’re also meant to make you fight the english. don’t forget that part.

I literally can’t get over this I can’t believe this isn’t a real episode I saw on TV and then forgot about and dreamed it subconsciously

This is a lost episode and you were granted divine information

…chosen….. .  .  . .

im starting a new game called ‘taako or gina’ in which i give you two quotes from either acclaimed podcast elf taako adventurezone or fictional life mogul gina linetti and you have to figure out which one of them said what 

“don’t worry - canonically, i cannot die” versus “nothing bad ever happens to me. i have a crystal in my pocket at all times”