Where's my happyness

the endless darkness on the other side is horrifying compared to the life im living now. Some days i can laugh, i can still live and i can still be me. Im not dead yet, im not uselessly taking up space. Im living a life, even if it doesn't seem worth living. Even if im alone im not lonely. Talking to myself gives me hope even if the only thing coming out of my mouth is "im not okay". Truth is i say i dont care about my self, but i wouldn't be so sad if i didn't. I look in the mirror and count my faults. They all make me unique, but i just want to be normal. My body is a cage but its also a temple. Its the only thing i have and to be free i need to come to worship it. Without this body i wouldn't even have the chance to be me. Its alright if its the wrong one. I can change it how ever i want, because its mine, its apart of me.

Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton