Chasing Jonah

I used to fear my sensitivity. I used to see it as a weakness and a flaw. I would watch as others could easily remain cold and unbothered when faced with situations that would normally destroy me. I hated myself for my empathy and how my love for others could turn on me so quickly and leave me in ruins. Looking back, I finally see that my softness, my emotions, and my brokenness gave me my strength. As I sat in the discomfort and the fire of heart break, the pain has been so intense that I became willing to do whatever it took to heal it. I couldn’t drink or smoke or engage in unhealthy coping mechanisms because the sensitivity of my body rejected those as well. I had no choice, but to face and feel everything. In doing so, I became so desperate that I read everything, searched everywhere, asked questions and tried anything in effort to help heal me at my foundation. Doing this has given me so much wisdom and grown me so quickly. I have been able to console so much trauma and fill myself with so much light and compassion. My sensitivity and my emotions are not weaknesses. They are guiding forces. 

My present practice has been to begin finding ways of turning fear and anxiety into curiosity. Instead of, "what if" or "what has happened before", I'm attempting to change the inner dialogue to: "I am curious to see what adventure is to come, who I will meet, and what I will learn." I've been through so much and have proven myself to be so marvelously resilient. There has always been magic waiting for me on the other side of heartache. What makes me think that I cannot handle my next adventure? Terrifying things can be such wonderful gifts. So let's be curious together, my loves.

Love others in the way you learn to love yourself. Only give what you can give and replenish within yourself. They may never return what you give to them and it's important to be ok with that. Do not take their thoughts, actions or choices personally as they have nothing to do with you. Set boundaries, but not expectations.

Self love is forgiving yourself by seeing yourself in context. Your past, your emotions, your intentions, your desires. Understand how they are all connected. Respect your journey. Allow yourself room for mistakes and growth. Be compassionate towards your emotions and your inner child. Learn to be uncomfortable in your uncomfortableness and the uncertainty of life. Do your best one day at a time.

Someone else's ability or inability to love, understand or respect you does not ADD or SUBTRACT value to or from you. What someone can or cannot give is only a reflection of themselves.

Forgiveness is seeing someone in context. Everyone is on a separate journey and they grow in their own ways in their own time. Their history, pain, and emotions are different than yours. Let their journey be their journey. Do not try and own their choices, circumstances or consequences.

Your mistakes do not take any value away from you. They only add to the person you are becoming if you are willing to learn from them. Mistakes are lessons and sometimes they need to be loud and hurt a little so that we pay attention to them.

I miss writing so much. We've been non-stop working on music video productions, touring, and marketing. I'm thankful that all of the music videos have been art pieces in themselves so I still get my creative fix. I'm grateful to everyone who keeps us going. This industry is so fickle and my world is filled with extreme ups and downs. I've been trying to work on keeping a level head in spite of the occasional success and many failures so I can try and keep my sanity through it all. It's definitely a challenge. Sometimes I wish I had mentors who were extremely successful in their craft so I could ask them about how they cope with the let downs and loss that come with the risk of putting yourself out there and investing so much financially in your art. This is a behind the scenes shot with Hailey Trifiro for our next release. Pretty stoked about it. Photo taken by the wonderful Dolores Lowe

Here it is the new music video for “Feel So High”!!! starring Ned, the cat. ;) 

We had to much fun making these! Tomorrow, the new single and music video for “Feel So High” is out! Youtube.com/chasingjonah 

Hey Tumblr, it’s been awhile. I’m releasing a new music video and single this Friday. Here’s the teaser. I’m pretty stoked about it. 

no matter how much it may hurt

-Fire Without Heat