The Things We Do Today Will Be Tomorrow's News

[tired arbys employee voice] ma’am you’re welcome to take it up with the angel

how did i get here

letting the days go by

let the water hold me down

david tennant could do sherlock holmes but benendict cumberbatch couldn't do the doctor. also benedict cumberbatch couldn't do sherlock holmes

this is hard proof that tumblr has gotten better because if I had made this post in 2015 I would have gotten several death threats by now

why did no one tell me quantum computers looked like that

Normally, I hate tiktok with a passion, but all the videos of people explaining football to Swifties has become my new obsession.

I was a pretty weird outcasted child so one of the greatest wonders of my adult life has been realizing that you can just go someplace and meet some people and casually make some friends, and they might not be in your life forever but you can hang out for a while, and then you can go somewhere else and do it again, and again, if it doesn’t work out no biggie, etc.

what i miss most about being a chocolatier (besides the honor of gayest job title imaginable) is we had these massive bars of chocolate for tempering that were 10lbs and we had to break them into smaller chunks. by using a sledgehammer of course. i LIVED for that shit

all the other people in production HATED busting them especially at the end of the shift but i fucking loved it. give me the hammer. i can be trusted with the hammer. And everyone did in fact trust me with the hammer because again they all thought it was tedious and painful. me? i was having the time of my life. even if i had to pick up the slack for other people i would be annoyed for all of five seconds before the euphoria of getting to smash things set in. and the production areas had windows too so customers often just got to watch me beat the shit out of a massive chocolate bar. with a hammer. like a zoo animal. i was getting paid to do that. every day i miss it.

it must legitimately be a hard time to be a tumblr user who happens to be a hot lady in a bikini who has never posted anything ever

every single time, i sit there with my finger hovering over the block button, briefly wondering if this is the one instance on tumblr of a real human being who simply loves wearing a bikini, typing emoji in the bio, and never making a single post

This probably sounds obvious, but I learned today that prisoners aren't protected by OSHA regulations, and that this is another reason why employers are so eager to utilize this modern slavery. It's only a couple cents an hour, less transportation costs than the overseas sweatshops, and if you want people to work with hazardous materials without proper training? That's fine too! Prison labor is the ultimate free market solution!

I think between this and the Everything Else that's fucked up about the mass incarceration in the United States, it's time to stop treating the Civil War as the end of slavery. The Civil War was nothing more than an end to private slaveowners. Slavery has become the exclusive privilege of The State and its agents.

why the fuck would this be my reaction

You must not have a best friend

sometimes a girl just has to make a little animal sounds. and thats okay

growing up with a psychologist for a mother was so funny because my sister and i would be like “mo-om why do we have to go to bed now” and she would respond with a long explanation of the research on the effects of sleep on the brain and body followed by another explanation on permissive vs. authoritarian vs. authoritative parenting styles, with citations