Russian Doll | Season 1, Episode 4

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@charliefagin
Russian Doll | Season 1, Episode 4

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text 💔 open
Charlie: That totally does it, I'm deleting Matchmakr. NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM THAT HELL APP.
Charlie: Sorry for all caps, I swear I'm not yelling at you.
text 💬 harlie
Hannah: Huh, I hadn't thought about that. He's very chatty so he usually prefers human friends, but a dog friend could be good, too! Maybe he can talk to them? It's always been unclear if he understands Sven or not, but maybe he really does and it's not just an act.
Charlie: It's possible. You'd just have to find one that understands no means no when it comes to eating snow, my dog would not be good for that. And sure, dogs understand a lot of human words like treat and tummy rub. So I'm sure he could find a way to communicate!
How do you feel about cat ladies?
What’s not to like? I like cats, I like ladies. Although a lot of indoor cats does mean the smell could be a little unbearable. So probably no more than like three or four.
text 🎤 varlie
Victoria: Good to know, I suppose. At least, it would be if I had the time to spare for any of that currently. As it turns out, I don't.
Charlie: You know, short breaks from studying actually increase productivity, Vic. Kind of like how they show menial tasks like unloading the dishwasher increase your capacity for knowledge? Your brain needs time to pause even if you want to rule the world someday.
Charlie: Besides, it's not like I'm asking you to go with me. We both know you'd shoot that down before I even finished offering.

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How do you feel about beer cheese vs. mustard on pretzels?
Here’s the thing: I love honey mustard. I just think it belongs on like sandwiches and chicken tenders, not pretzels. I’ll eat it if there’s nothing else, but cheese sauce is ideal. Not just on that but on like fries and shit too.
text ❤️ rylie
Ryan: Yes, absolutely! Ping would be more than happy to accompany Monk on a puppy play date. And, you know, I can't say I disagree with that at all. Sports are not anywhere near an interest of mine, but cute little puppies definitely are, so the Puppy Bowl wins.
Charlie: Yessssss, he'll be so excited. And really, there are no losers in the puppy bowl so extra bonus. Although I do like that there always seems to be buffalo chicken dip at all these football watch parties now, it really makes it easier to suffer through.
Charlie: If only they also had like pretzels and hot dogs too.
How do you feel about karate?
It’s fine? I’ve never done it. My dad didn’t really have money for a lot of extracurricular activities growing up. I remember really wanting to do that as a kid because I thought the belts were cool though, that and ballet. Although I know kids who have severe body issues because of ballet so maybe I dodged a bullet there.
text 🧒 charmer
Summer: I do, yeah! I'm not sure if shadowing in my classroom is really appropriate but you could come with me on a babysitting outing someday? That would also give you more of a chance to interact with the kids themselves, once you were comfortable.
Charlie: Oh, they actually have like forms to fill out for classroom experience and stuff! It wouldn't just be me creepily showing up to stand around. Sorry, I should have been super clear on that!!! But babysitting would definitely work too.
How do you feel about paint parties?
I’ve never been to one! And now I’m wondering WHY that is. Unless we’re talking about like Color Me Mine birthday parties because I loved those as a kid. My dad couldn’t afford one, but I weaseled my way in if any of my class mates were throwing them.

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text 🐶 fale
Cassie: I'm sorry you had to deal with someone being annoyed at you! That's so rude of her? Like you're a very good dog walker so you totally deserve business cards but that doesn't mean she has a right to be mean to you if you don't. But WOW, 300! Like I said, you deserve business cards so that's a good move. Do you need help splitting the cost?
Cassie: Oh, absolutely you can! Bring as many as you want! I also happen to know a lot of dog owners in Auradon personally so if you want to give me a few, I could pass them out on your behalf? If that's totally weird though, that's fine too, it was just a suggestion!
Charlie: It happens, people who can afford to blow $100+ a week on dog walks don't typically understand that normal people don't blow money on, well, anything. I had thought about it before but not seriously! I have so much business anyways, I just thought it wasn't really necessary. But then I got online to order then and they offered me 200 more for $2 and I got slightly carried away. But now I'll never run out! Nah, I'm good I found this site where if you upload your own it's only like $15. I'm broke but not quite that broke. Thanks for offering though!
Charlie: I'm lucky to know someone so well-connected. I'll definitely give you a few, but you've got to let me buy you coffee or something for helping me out so much.
How do you feel about using paper towels as your dinner napkin?
It’s wasteful and expensive. Paper towels cost money every week if I’m going to use them daily and they end up in a landfill somewhere, I’d much rather use cloth napkins and save money and be eco-friendly.
text 🏃🏃🏻♀️ autlie
Autumn: Puppy dog eyes have no influence on me, none at all! 😂 but yeah, the snow is making running hard, I'm so upset! I miss running already! A hike could be good though and if Monk could keep up, I'm happy with him tagging along. I like a good long hike though especially if it's supposed to take the place of running
Charlie: HAVE YOU NO SOUL, AUTUMN? PUPPY DOG EYES ARE UNIVERSALLY EFFECTIVE! I like running but I'm okay to take it slow if the weather demands it, especially because the snow makes everything look so pretty. Lmao, I'd worry about keeping up with him. He knows no bounds in the snow, unlike us mere mortals. I'm going to be the one in rough shape by the end.
What song would you choose to describe your love life right now?
Bacon by Nick Jonas.
exes and ohs → varlie
Charlie wasn’t really sure how he’d ended up at some random senior’s party, but it seemed to be preferable to studying for his Microbial Pathogenesis quiz alone in his apartment. Plus the food was good, which was more than he could say for ramen noodles and leftovers. He was going in for another round on the cookie plate when he saw Victoria.
It had been over a year since he’d seen her and he fully panicked for a second. He wasn’t sure if it was just the her of it all, a leftover reaction from their relationship and their being so far apart since their break-up. Or if he was nervous about her seeing him, because it had become pretty clear she’d been avoiding him like the plague. After all, they went to the same school and were both obsessed with their programs, yet he hadn’t run into her at the campus library or the Crownbucks nearby or any of their old haunts.
She seemed distracted by whatever she was doing, otherwise she probably would have booked it before he noticed her. He allowed himself a minute to just look at her. She was still beautiful, that would never change, but her hair was a little longer. He thought maybe she looked a little more stressed, but he probably did too. He saw her turn her head and before she could see him and run away, he made the split second decision to go over to her. Better to rip the bandaid off now then to keep dancing around it for the foreseeable future.
“Hey Vic,” He tried his best to keep his voice even, to not make it abundantly clear he’d almost been caught staring at her. “Happy Valentine’s Day.” He cracked a small smile, it was definitely fucking ironic to run into her today of all days.
@victoriacaine

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your ex
I don’t really feel any particular way about @charliefagin anymore. I couldn’t really care less about him or what he’s doing.
Ask my character “How do you feel about ______?”
“Couldn’t care less” seems harsh. Wow, good to know where I stand at least.
Tryna figure out a setting for my new music video – y’all think a hall of mirrors is too much, or just right?
How’re you planning to use the mirrors? Is it just going to be like as a dance mechanism to make things look more tricky with some flashing lights or have you got an evil twin living in one or what? It’ll probably be kick ass either way, just have to know what I’m looking at.