Hi mom I'm going to spend three weeks in France in a few months and I was wondering what things I should know so I don't upset anyone lol thanks for all you do
We are attached to politeness. Say hello when you start a conversation with anyone (including salespeople), enter any type of professional place (bakery, small store, waiting room) and to the bus driver. Walking up to a stranger and immediately asking a question is extremely rude, and we will be rude back (which explains our reputation - tourists were unknowingly crass first).
When talking to strangers/salespeople: the right question is something like Bonjour (pause until they make eye contact and say it back), excusez-moi de vous déranger, je ne trouve pas le sucre/je cherche la rue Victor Hugo/---, est-ce que vous pouvez m'aider? (...). Merci beaucoup, bonne journée, au revoir.
If you don't speak French, learn how to pronounce Bonjour, excusez-moi de vous déranger, est-ce que vous parlez anglais? (and after a possible no: C'est pas grave, merci quand même, au revoir) so you don't look like a donkey.
Blend in. Don't be loud, respect people's space (+ escalator and pavement laws), avoid intrusive questions, bashing the country + money talk. No PJs at the store. You are trying to befriend cats; "my way or the highway" will not work.
Use the right pronouns. Level 1: say Vous to any professional, older strangers (including people's relatives, who will say Tu back), and Tu to friends, their friends, any kid or teen. Level 2: most likely say Tu to people your age, unless their energy calls for something else. Level 3: say Tu in non-formal places (bar, tattoo parlour) regardless of age. Cheat code: avoid making a choice by saying things like Comment ça va? instead of Comment tu vas?
In cafés/restaurants: we don't really tip, cooks aren't used to personalised orders, and waiters will leave you alone (no refills, small talk, pet names) unless you lift your hand, make eye contact and mouth "Excusez-moi". You can pay with cash or a debit card but I wouldn't recommend checks.
Other cities are fine but if you are using public transportation in Paris, take notes or download la RATP's app beforehand: you'll often need to take two or three subways to get somewhere and there is no info inside the station.
Travel light and pick trusty trainers, cobblestone doesn't like heels. Watch your step. Men pee outside a lot and people don't pick up dog poo.
Be aware of pickpockets. Zip your pockets, keep your bag on the side or the front, avoid flaunting luxury items or looking touristy, and for the love of God, don't go to the Champs Elysées at night.
Catcalling and street harassment are unfortunately common. Feel free to hook up, condoms shouldn't be a problem but don't expect to find a husband, your typical French Tinder match isn't looking for love.
If you're into skincare, pharmacies are your wet dream.
If you want to travel, take a TGV (very fast train, to book preferably weeks to months before) to get to other cities in 1-5h. London via the Eurostar is 2h30 away, and many capitals are a 2h cheap flight away. Going to Disneyland takes about an hour from downtown Paris to Marne-La-Vallée.
If you need medical assistance, call the 112 (European emergency number) or the 18 (fire brigade, good eggs) and the police, the 17 (take forever to answer).
At the moment, there's a weird thing happening in France where young people (mostly girls) get spiked with needles in nightclubs. Keep yourself safe.
Many museums are free/stores offer discounts if you're under 25, and you get a free ride on a bateau-mouche if your birthday is the same week.
Carry an umbrella and sunglasses, regardless of the season.
More: restaurant guide, why won't the French let me practice my French, list of Parisian museums + Planétarium + movie theatres.
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