lines and holes

“My crime was feeling everything too deeply, my punishment was surviving it.”

"i think chain smoking at a funeral is probably one of the better ways of coping, honestly. we're minding our own business, not causing any chaos," savannah remarked, reaching to take another drag from her cigarette. she was almost glad that someone like alex was the one whom approached her, an individual who had the same ideas as her. "best dressed? i don't know, i was hoping to get at least third place myself. but, i think there's some more better contenders. pretty sure i heard someone say i looked like a knockoff wednesday addams," she let out a dry laugh at her lame attempt of a joke.

"Thank you, that is literally what I've been saying this whole time." Alex nodded taking an almost celebratory puff of the cigarette, holding in the smoke until her face screwed up a little before letting it out dramatically. "Third place?" She laughed. "Hey, Wednesday Adams is cool as fuck and I mean, you do kinda have that pasty pale complexion going for you," she joked, nudging Sav's shoulder playfully. "Maybe you could loop in and team up with Dorothy over there," she nodded across to a guest wearing the most inappropriately summery-spring outfit with high red heels. "I mean seriously, even I knew to wear black to this thing, c'mon...." Alex shook her head. "Fuck man, I dunno what goes through people's heads sometimes."

Alex looked around for a second when the voice came out of nowhere before landing her eyes on Emmeline's which were as intense as ever. Of course she had landed herself in this situation. Alex was known to have bad luck follow her, but if there was one person who might just have her beat with the whole wrong place wrong time, it was her. She couldn't help the laugh that came from deep down, it wasn't funny, of course it wasn't... But it was, a little bit. "Dude," Alex pitched in between her rant. "Dude, dude, calm the fuck down," she chuckled, shaking her head a bit.

The situation was weird and did not make sense to her. Devon was a great guy and surely he didn't have a target on his back for any reason? He covered true crime on a podcast, what could he possibly be doing wrong to anybody? He wasn't problematic and wasn't getting cancelled every other week for doing dumb shit, he wasn't like the Paul brothers, he was a good guy. For somebody to just kill him in his own home blew her mind, how did they walk out of there and not get caught?

And there it was - the trap. Was there ever a way to answer the question without falling straight on your face? It brought a deep sigh from the short brunette. She understood why everyone was trying to figure out who had killed Devon, and she would be lying if she said she hadn't spent a good few hours of coke-fuelled time slugging through Reddit forums and online sluth spots trying to see if anyone had come up with a concrete theory so far. But, nothing really stood out as oh my god that makes sense.

open [ capped at 5] @onlymurdersstart

It was a question that was on everyone's mind, and a question that Alex couldn't help but feel was always some kind of trap. Was there ever a right answer? What could you possibly say that wasn't a lie, and wasn't something that would come off just down right insensitive and rude. Because that was the truth of it all, that there was no rhyme or reason behind any of this - bad shit happened to good people all the time. People die all the time. People kill people all the time. The world was cruel, and the universe doesn't give a shit whether you are a good person or a bad one, fuck, the universe doesn't give a shit about anything. At least, that's the position Alex had landed upon after years of tough luck.

status: open ( capping at 4 replies - 3/4 )

The longer she stayed, the more memories of her own loss flooded her mind, and the harder it became at telling them all to fuck off and leave her alone. She had spent the last few years of her life doing everything she could to NOT be reminded of things like death and funerals and life's total and utter fucking injustices. But, as difficult as it was to be in the environment of total utter bleak depression, she felt like staying home alone would probably be worse.

open to: everyone! (capping at 4) @onlymurdersstart location: after the service, devon's funeral

Alex wasn't sure exactly why she was going to this funeral. It wasn't like she was particularly close with the man in the end, but there was a time where she would have called him a friend and she knew, deep down, behind all of those walls she put up, it was the right thing to do. Show up. Show face. Maybe try and get a laugh or a smile out of a couple of people... Although, maybe that was insensitive? All she knew is that at her last funeral, the one for her Mom and for George, she got so fucking sick of the frowns and I'm sorry's. She wished someone had cracked a joke or two, made things feel a bit fucking lighter.

"i'm sorry!" antoinette hushes loudly, "i just don't want her to notice i've been gone too long, alright?" and she didn't have much time left ever since she told her date she was going to use the restroom. they were too locked in on finishing their game anyway, as the conversation is just dead on both ends, and that hugely adds to the reason why she just wanted to go. if she had a choice, she wasn't even going to ask for help for alex, but she was the only person who could at this point, and if she needed to swallow her pride, she would.

Alex gladly took the money, shoving the notes into her back jeans pocket without counting them since it clearly looked like more than she'd actually asked for. She made a mental note to pass by Enzo's on the way home; the hustle should cover shit for the rest of the week, god bless. "Aight, aight, c'mon," Alex lifted up the employee panel, ushering Toni into the reception area and then through the back office, before passing by her and pushing open the back door into the alleyway behind the building that was filled with trash cans and old props from the holes. "There ain't no other way to get back to your car without like goin' all the way around to the lot which your date would probably see you, but like, there's a road down there you can call an Uber too," she pointed down the alley. "Why are you so desperate to get away anyway?" Alex asked as she pulled the cigarette from behind her ear and placed it between her lips, lighting it as she was speaking.

Genevieve was not sure if she was intrigued or confused. Perhaps a bit of both. The corner of her lips twitched upwards anyways. A response even she hadn't expected. It was something about the lack of seriousness Alex seemed to carry. A trait she often wished she could take on. "This is gonna be ridiculous." She said half to herself. "But what the hell, let's go." How hard could it be? "Fuck the beginner holes. Take me to the dragon." Probably not the wisest choice but she didn't come here to be bored.

Alex grabbed herself a ball and a putter and began leading the others out onto the course. There were only a couple of other people around, a mother and son and a couple of teenagers who were absolutely there to make out with each other away from prying eyes rather than play any form of mini golf. "Yeah, ridiculously fun," Alex said dryly as they walked past holes 1 through 9 and landed up standing ahead of what could only be described as the world's most pathetic excuse for a dragon statue, the tail of which was slowly rotating around, temporarily blocking an entrance hole to the green. The hole itself was closely guarded by dragon fire (which was absolutely not just some bits of orange confetti string glued to the tongue of the statue).

HOW DOES ONE PREPARE for their child to turn older -- every single year? that was one thing, time not just moving faster than he could possibly catch up with -- but then the reality that every birthday, he had to register that julia was not just growing up, but growing up without her mother. all because a drunk driver took that away from her. in his eyes he considered it to be a new kind of selfishness, to put everyone else around you in danger. and yet, he tried to swallow his anger that he felt every single day -- with no direction, because he'd never learned the driver's name. never bothered to, either. he was more focused on his own heartbreak, making sure his daughter could grapple in a healthy manner and putting them both in therapy.

Fuck. Alex recognised her newest patron straight away. How could she not? And, as usual, the moment her brain caught up with her eyes, her heart sank to the pits of her chest and the flood of guilt followed not helped in the least by the fact she was annoyingly sober. Fucking work. She didn't show the inner turmoil outwardly though, she couldn't, she was never going to let the other know what he did to her and importantly... Why. So, she just acted like she usually did... Nonchalant, slightly depressed, clearly coming down. "Just kinda freeball it when the bell rings to be honest." Alex shrugged.

He watched as she grabbed the putter from it's stack, thinking for a moment if he should really start coming by again, rewrite the old bad memories with something better. But then he shook that thought from his head quickly, he didn't have time for childish things like mini golf, in his opinion. "With him dying? I mean, he's dead. Shit happens." Mateo gave a shrug at the end of his words, they might have seem insensitive to the life that was lost but he had never been on good terms with Devon before and he couldn't fix that now. "How is for you though? I assume you are coping in ways you really shouldn't be, huh?"

Alex couldn't help but be a little taken aback by the nihilistic way he spoke about the recent murder. Not that she could blame him, to be honest, she was kind of numb to the whole thing as well. People die every day, right? At least, that had been her experience in life. Fuck... That's depressing. "Right, yeah, you don't say," she breathed in, glancing up at the clock and realising it was way closer to her shift finish than usual. "You, er, you going to this funeral thing they're throwing him or you staying away?" Alex asked, knowing that, like her, Mateo also never saw eye to eye with the deceased. "And," she shrugged, "I don't know that I have much to cope about - not when it comes to him at least, no offence to the dead or whatever," she crossed over her heart like a prayer. "Talkin' of coping, wanna go for a drink? I get off in 10."

if antoinette had a choice, she isn't really planning to pester alex with a problem as stupid as she's caused herself to be in right now. but she chose to be in this position due to the belief she was going to have some fun for a little bit, distract herself from the weight of devon's death that she has been carrying for a while now. work was certainly a good way to do so, dancing the night away, yet when she's alone in her apartment, she feels like she couldn't stay in it.

"chill, chill, man," alex breathed out, finally dropping forward in the chair, giving some semblance of her attention to the conversation. "i can like, feel the anxiety flowin' off you," she shook her head as she stuck her hands into her hoodie pockets and glanced past toni out to the grounds, wondering if her date was the crazy sort to run in here after her and start a fight. that would be funny.

starter : open

alex was spiralling. not because of anything that was causing a similar effect on the majority of the apartment block, but because, for the absolute fucking life of her, she could not find her fanny pack. she was SURE she had it when she went out last night, in fact she knew she did, because she remembered taking the shit out of it in the bathroom stall before... well, before her memories became a little more hazy. retrace your steps, that's how you find shit, right? so, here she was, back in nova which, during the day was weirdly quiet, not that that was something she was particularly focused on right now.

If he was being honest, Mateo could barely remembered the last time that he had stepped foot at the mini golf place. All he knew was that the place reeked of flashes of childhood memories where Enzo and Vanessa would torture him in anyway they could together. He had made it a point not to return to those places too often. But today, today was different. He hadn't come to hit balls into little holes, he had come to check up on a friend. The weird friendship it was. "Nothing, probably." He shrugged, hands in his pocket. "Just came by to make sure you weren't the next one dead."

alex was surprised when her brain finally caught up with her eyes and she noticed it was mateo coming through the door. then again, lately her customers had been more weirdly diverse. shit normal people will do for a distraction, right? she went to pick up a ball and a putter before the other mentioned why he was actually there, putting them back down again. "ohhh, shit man," she exhaled, "nah man, i'm still kickin'," her tone almost disappointed in such a fact. "how are you, y'know, holdin' up with all this shit?"

Genevieve let out a quiet sigh, her chocolate brown orbs flickered briefly toward the ceiling at the echo of her own question. A faint pinch of embarrassment settled in her chest. "Do I look like I've ever played mini golf before?" The question was sarcastic but her words came out soft. Her eyes, earnest. It was more of an honest reveal about herself. No real bite or edge. Just a small unguarded truth. Her features softened as she listened to the Alex explain the game. She nodded her head with watchful eyes. "Um...Okay." She exhaled now feeling a tad lighter than before. But not fully absolved of the heaviness. Alex's bragging rights comment earned her an eye roll from G. But this time it was one accompanied by a smile. One that she tried to hold in but failed to do so. "Sounds easy enough." She picked up the putter and ball, her eyes examining them with curiosity. "Um." Her attention turned to the environment around them before landing back on Alex. "So I just pick any hole?"

even though she knew it was a rhetorical question, alex contorted her features in a manner that said 'absolutely not' in a better way than any words possibly could. she didn't mean anything by it, but the other looked like one of those i'll play mini golf when hell freezes over types. more likely to be found in, like, a mall or something. alex wasn't sure what kind of recreational activities the rich and mighty got up to in their free time.