Bag of ladybugs

So shout out to :

people who feel like they have to aggressively defend the things that are important to them because they’re so used to it being torn down and taken from them - even if a friend was just kidding, it’s so hard to see it as just kidding.

People who are constantly on high alert for a fight and had to learn to treat everything like a debate because it was the only way they could stand up for themselves. People who have a hard time rationalizing not everything is an attack because everything used to be an attack.

People who are mad and furious over what happened and get completely consumed by rage no matter how hard they try to let it go. And who have to deal with people telling them they’re making it bigger than it was.

People who have to constantly front as being a badass or aloof because they can’t be seen as vulnerable in any way.

People who constantly fear they’re just like their abuser because they lash out at a moment’s notice to defend themselves

And then she told me this.

Every Friday afternoon, she asks her students to take out a piece of paper and write down the names of four children with whom they'd like to sit the following week. The children know that these requests may or may not be honored. She also asks the students to nominate one student who they believe has been an exceptional classroom citizen that week. All ballots are privately submitted to her.

And every single Friday afternoon, after the students go home, she takes out those slips of paper, places them in front of her, and studies them. She looks for patterns.

Who is not getting requested by anyone else? Who can't think of anyone to request? Who never gets noticed enough to be nominated? Who had a million friends last week and none this

week?

You see, Chase's teacher is not looking for a new seating chart or "exceptional citizens." Chase's teacher is looking for lonely children. She's looking for children who are struggling to connect with other children. She's identifying the little ones who are falling through the cracks of the class's social life. She is discovering whose gifts are going unnoticed by their peers. And she's pinning down—right away—who's being bullied and who is doing the bullying.

As Chase's teacher explained this simple, ingenious idea, I stared at her with my mouth hanging open. "How long have you been using this system?" I said.

Ever since Columbine, she said. Every single Friday afternoon since Columbine. Good Lord.

And what this mathematician has learned while using this system is something she really already knew: that everything—even love, even belonging—has a pattern to it. She finds the patterns, and through those lists she breaks the codes of disconnection. Then she gets lonely kids the help they need. It's math to her. It's math.

All is love—even math. Amazing.

im remaking this post since the other has died down and i know yall are tired of this at this point but the nature of capitalism is a cycle of poverty and im just. so tired.

my sister/landlord is demanding more and more money from me to the point that every conversation turns into a fight. i dont make a lot of money, my paychecks are few and far between and commissions are running me ragged.

ive officially decided im moving out, i cant be in this environment anymore.

my sister has written me an eviction notice, and her boyfriend has officially told me to get out

so i have to put my dental work on hold indefinitely and i need to start a move out fund before i end up sleeping in the park so uh please help out if you can this is urgent and im desperate

paypal.me/kurgyy

FINALLY, THE MUCH AWAITED AND PROBABLY MUCH, MUCH NEEDED UPDATE TO THAT NONBINARY COMIC I DID LAST YEAR (last year????? I don’t remember)

I’ve learned a lot since then, and while I have to say the truth is a bitter pill to swallow, it does open my eyes to issues that I previously have not seen nor considered before. Being a cis Muslim woman is already hard enough as it is. But being an afab nonbinary Muslim? Oh boy. If I were to touch on that here I will not have the space to do so, and it’s honestly still something I’m learning about, so I don’t have the resources or knowledge enough to talk about this here.

Yes we still have a lot of things we need to work out on. Yes, I probably will never take my hijab off knowing what kind of things I might end up getting if I did (I could get kicked out of my own house, for one). I realize and understand these are issues faced by nb Muslims like me EVERYWHERE. 

But you know what? 

In the end only Allah can judge you for who you are. And I highly doubt He cares what you identify with. All I know is that He is Most Merciful and Most Forgiving. So fuck what people tell you. You’re valid, your gender is valid, your beliefs are valid, and you can be both at the same time and still be a good Muslim. 

Fuck what everyone says. Be you, do you!