Chandra

... or lean...

That's what I meant to say... It ain’t easy being lean... or achieving any physique goal... It takes a lot of friggin' work... It ain't easy, but I swear it's worth it.

We all have body goals, and no, they aren't all the same... And that's fine, do you know how boring we would be if we all ACTUALLY wanted to look the same. *yawn* No, thanks!

But... given the fact that in our society SO MUCH emphasis is placed on how we look... ya, we all have goals... To be skinnier, leaner, fitter, bigger, more abs, more glutes, less glutes, more definition, a thigh gap, lose the thigh gap... etc... I'm pretty sure I could go on forever.

I have yet to meet a person who is genuinely happy in their own skin. Lots of people claim to be (especially on social media) but I don't think there are many who truly are... Just because WE may think someone looks AMAZING, doesn't mean that they don't have that nagging voice in their head picking out every perceived flaw. Think about it for yourself, how often do you look in the mirror and think "Damn I look great, I love my 'fill in the blank'". If you're anything like me, you look in the mirror and go "Meh, not bad but I wish there was less cellulite on my ass... I want more definition in my back... Where the hell are my veins... Why can't my butt just be a little bit more bootylicious!!??!"

So what's my point with this post??!

I think my point is that we have to start learning to be comfortable where we are. In no way do I mean ACCEPT where you are. I mean CELEBRATE where you are at... Because you know what, it probably isn't where you were yesterday, or a week ago, or a year ago... and even if it is, so what?!? It's never too late to make changes. You can walk, you can run(ish), you can move... That is reason to celebrate! So love yourself, because everything gets easier when you do.

The key to making any change in your physique, hell, even in your life is consistency. You have to be willing to take steps towards your goals EVERY DAMN DAY.

You may stumble, you may take two steps back, you may change your direction... Who the f*ck cares... Get up, and keep going.

That is all we can do. Get the f*ck up and keep going.

The second you decide it's enough, you don't want to work anymore. That is the second you start dying. That is what stagnation is. Slow, painful, BORING death.

Ok. I'm no expert, but then again who really is. I'm not sure what makes a person an expert on love. Loving lots? Loving and losing? Loving and not becoming jaded? However you become an expert, let me just preface this with stating that I know I'm not.

I watch a lot of movies. I know what Hollywood and Disney has shown me what love should look like. Is that realistic? Well, in my very humble as not an expert opinion, I would say yes... and no.

I love the notion of love at first sight. The idea of love conquering all, beating all odds, and overcoming ALL obstacles is what gives me reason to breath. I love that there should be a Prince (or Princess) Charming out there waiting to rescue us. I believe in soul mates so hard, that I think when we find that person we are destined to find them in every reincarnation of our souls. (Yes, I believe in reincarnation, but that's another topic all together) I believe every sappy movie I've ever seen and cried at, even if I tried to hide the tears behind allergies, dry contacts, or some other phony BS no one believes.

So where is the 'No'? Well, here's the thing... They make it look easy. Too easy, like unrealistic super duper easy. They make people believe that love SHOULD be easy. That if there are hardships to overcome then it isn't worthwhile, or it isn't REAL. In my very non-professional love expert opinion, that's the bullsh*t. That's the crap that is leading us astray.

Love, like anything worthwhile, still takes work. Sometimes hard work, sometimes not so hard work and you can coast for awhile, but everyday it is work. It's a choice. You can choose to be in love, or you can choose to let it die. You can choose to commit yourself to your love every day, wake up and make the choice, or you can wake up and choose to let it fade away. We live in a society of instant gratification, we have generations of people that don't really know what hard work means anymore. Too many people want to know what is going to be done for them, not what they can do for anyone else. It's easy to see why so many relationships die, no one knows what it means to work for it.

Love means showing up when you don't want to. Putting in effort even when you're upset. Trying your best because you know, no matter what, that life without that person wouldn't be a life at all. Love is putting someone else's needs before your own, and I think THAT is what we are no longer conditioned to do. Our needs first, right? What about me??? Aren't I the most important person to me?

When you meet your soul mate, you meet the one person who completes you. They make you better, they push you to new heights. They inspire you, they fill you with love and joy and a belief in a better world. A belief that no matter what you can overcome any obstacle, because you are no longer all alone. You have your other half. You're unstoppable.

Isn't that worth fighting for?

It's not going to be easy, it's just going to be worth it.

You know what they don't show you in the movies? They don't show you everything the characters have to overcome (internally and externally) to allow themselves to love. The emotional baggage, the failed past relationships, self doubts, and nagging inner dialogue. They don't show you that the Prince (or Princess) is real, that they snore, drool, or sometimes chew with there mouth open. They never examine the fact that sometimes that "Prince" (or "Princess") is going to drive you to the fucking moon and back and you're going to want to smother them in their sleep. Does that mean it isn't worth it? No. It's another choice to make. Is it worth it? Is it true love? Then it's worth it. No matter what.

There are so many tests a relationship is destined to go through. Trials, tribulations. Truly, I think the ones that succeed are the ones where two people make the choice to make it work. To see each other for who they are, to accept the best and the worst, and to love each other no matter what.