The Tappet

Try telling an orphan that their parents never left, try telling one that someone will get them.... But not me... I'm stuck there while you point and laugh....

Heals my pains

Outside those feelings drift away

They're filled with joy

"Love is the affliction of a plague"

It wasn't as big as others said, That's what I thought The day I walked into that tower, Was the day that changed me But my life didn't change I only believed it did I walked in alone, And looked back and had followers Not because I took the first step But because I became me Myself, I am strong Bestowed upon me, Eternal glory, Whoever deems worthy, prove themselves, Of might and bravery, Those of cherishible qualities, Shall perish Here in the tower, Nothing is cherishible. So will you walk the same path I did? That does not depend on you But your will to control yourself, And your greed Welcome.

- I'm not scared of falling, I'm scared I won't get up after it shatters The infinite abyss Not down below But deep inside I'm scared of what I'll find I'm scared I'll run out of time Worried I'll see the darkness When I see myself in the mirror, I can see myself high Like a inducing plant On a high of indulgence But what stares back at me Is a shadow I'm not sure if it's my own But it stares and follows me Is it where I belong? I'm scared of climbing the tower Going to where I think I want to go For where I go, I will fall nowhere There is no safety net It's a gamble, my bet Even if the harness is set There's no way to clear the debt To wipe away this mess I'm stuck in this depth Suffocating in my eyes Not drowning, but already dead

Nobody listens to the dead

Squirrels are very scary They stare me down with their eyes Their nuts say it all

- The constant state of fear drives me forward I run and run Further and further Till I run out of breath I don't see anyone behind me I'm still scared, No matter how far I run There's no escape I'm not escaping my surroundings The lush tranquil I can't outrun myself My heart carries itself and me Back into itself Where I suffocate Where I exist but no one can see me running away How can you see something run from itself It's not smoke and mirrors It's reality And it's hitting me in the face Right where I deserve it If I just look up, I'll see somewhere to go Somewhere to run I'm not escaping anymore I'm exiting the negativity

-Shred it without hesitation; it too, is prepared to sacrifice itself A mark of the future A leaf tumbling with the wind A reminder of the path Such as where it began The birth anew The land askew The conquest broken Such as where it ended A reminder of the chaos A leaf floating in the storm A mark of the past

It's always intrigued me how dreams don't seem to have a sense of time at all. I've had two dreams that felt real. I spent a week inside my dream and woke up feeling strange. As if it's a completely different world. Weeks that I've hated and woken up to disappointment still. I think I can easily say that a lot of people wish there was another world besides this. Some mystical or technological advancement that's beyond our comprehension. Something we've read in a book, watched in a movie, read in a comic/manga/manwha, and even things we imagine. We sometimes live in those worlds. We create our own characters, but that's either a hope of what we wish we were: smarter, stronger, better looking, more talented, etc. Sometimes it's just some we wish to insert into the world, our OC's. Other times, we relate to characters in the stories or places and wish to know more. I'm not sure where this was going, there was no real point. Perhaps that I wish there was another world besides this. Looking at posts that ask "which would you choose to live in?" On Facebook or almost anywhere that has "funny" pictures. I always think "They're not real though. I can make something similar. I can write stories. People can animate, people can draw, people can imagine, but I can't dissolve myself into that world. I can immerse myself, but I'll never be inside the world. When you open your eyes, it'll still be there. That sucks

Sometimes shadows scare us Sometimes we embrace shadows However we carry our own shadow No matter the situation Even with darkness, Our shadow remains, It doesn't fade, It does not cease to exist. Even throughout death, Our shadow persists. I think our shadow is the only thing that persists even though we don't We choose to express ourselves through shadows with puppets and hide and seek We choose to hide ourselves away, However not in other shadows, Rather, our own shadows. Your shadow is who you are. What's Miraculous is how it isn't limited. One might see your shadow and judge your body, but that's it. They cannot get anything else from your shadow Because it is not their shadow You do not own your shadow. Your shadow is not a rental. It is an ever changing constant. It changes to you, adapts and wraps around you. Your shadow never changes even if you are sad or happy. Your shadow is you despite anything and everything. Keep your shadow

I noticed that I'm sometimes not there, But it doesn't mean that I'm gone I can't say I chose to be gone, But I know I am not here Like a broken bulb does not light up, But the circuit is there but the bulb is gone There is no broken bulb A bulb cannot be broken if it does not exist

 Everyone shows you theirs, However, you don't pick one You just stare and think When did I bury this child of mine?