You Wish You Were A Turtle

New Years Eve (2017) will be the only day when every adult was born in the 1900s, and every minor was born in the 2000s.

In the Harry Potter universe, witness of wizard attacks were ‘brainwashed’ to think the attack was muggle made. With all the attacks in the past year, It’s quite possible Lord Voldemort is back.

LMAOOO HAHAHA

this was the greatest joke I have ever heard

This tweet was sent from the future

Smacking a horse is the equivalent of looking god in the eye while you jack off and call him a heretic

question

what the actual, honest, genuine fuck does this mean

there is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face

but everything comes at a price son of a bitch looks like a dick

Guys you don’t know the half it. Tardigrades, or waterbears, (or moss piglets, how cute is that?) are the coolest things in the entire world. They pretty much live everywhere on earth, and all they do is amble around drinking water. But if their life is in danger, they shrivel up into this little raisin thing and they can survive practically anything. There was a piece of moss sitting dry in a museum for a century. Some scientists wetted the moss, and they woke back up. Just started drinking the water again. They have survived as near to absolute zero as science has allowed us to get. They’ve woken up after being subjected to 6 times the radiation lethal to humans, even though they are about 3 millimeters in length on average. NASA sent them into orbit and they were released into the vacuum of space for ten days. They woke up. So what does this mean? Scientists believe this may help to prove the existence of live elsewhere in the universe, and how life came to Earth. If there are creatures that can survive the emptiness of space, who’s to say an asteroid didn’t carry some from one planet to ours?

still looks like a dick tbh

I hate this

You could say this both ways and it would still mean the same

Lmaooo

the only easter post that matters