Noodle

Alcohol is crazy. One small cocktail enters your body and fifteen minutes later, it has transmogrifie into like a gallon of piss

That is the drunkest way I could have spelled that

crazy how quickly dust accumulates. i should be allowed to put my trinkets on a shelf and not touch them and they remain in perfect condition forever. dont even get me STARTED on the inside of a computer. why do i have to brush your teeth. youre technology.

Your too late mr bond I alreasy peed out all my pee from my penis

One time i got sucked up by a ufo im not joking

what happebned

On god they were being super mean to me like they were flicking my head and shit the grey aliens were flicking my head and punching my nose and giving me noogies and shoving me and shit....

literally we are not free until all women can go topless the same as dudes

going to the movies should cost $1.00. bobcorn should be a free treat

they should invent temporary death where I can just not be alive for a while and then be fine like nothing happened and move on

dude you gotta check out this shitty post-hardcore emo band. they released one ep in 1998 and have 2k monthly listeners. theyre honestly the best band ever.