final round of 'pads with wings'!
feat. blade, boothill and robin with fem!reader
a/n: happy very late pride everyone.
round 1 here!: phainon, anaxa, ashveil
round 2 here!: sunday, danheng, jingyuan
β‘ ah, yes. our resident fugitive girl dad.
β‘ if you haven't seen silver wolf lvl. 999's character trailer and played the recent hsr patch, i urge you to because it's pretty self-explanatory.
β‘ HE KNOWS. blade DEFINITELY knows what you're talking about.
β‘ he literally lives with three other girls who drag him on shopping trips all the time. you mean to tell me he's never once seen a pad in all the time he's been with them?
β‘ i fully believe that blade is a pro at picking out pads because kafka, silver wolf and firefly have likely asked him to on multiple occasions. so much so that off the top of his head he remembers exactly what each girl needs.
β‘ he's the kinda guy who will just hand you a heat pad silently and walk away without explanation. meanwhile you're all confused like what???
β‘ another guy who predicts when your periods happen because he's just that in tune y'know? he has a sixth sense for them at this point, it's like a radar.
β‘ the moment you ask for pads blade is going to calmly open a full cupboard of them, all neatly arranged according to use and length and go "take your pick."
β‘ our dearest bladie is also the most compliant at this time. you want him to stay and cuddle you? alright, you're the tree and he's the koala.
β‘ you want him to give you space? okay he'll leave you alone for the whole day. just message him when you want to see his face again.
β‘ all in all, blade has a PHD in period care. dude is READY for anything you throw at him.
β‘ one more thing is that the girls have definitely sat him down before to give him a powerpoint presentation on periods and pads. (I WILL STAY ON THIS HILL AND DIE ON IT.)
β‘ blade always tries to act like it isn't a big deal that he does all this but when you hug him and call him yingxing he's gonna look away and say "unnecessary" with the smallest smile.
β‘ you have nothing to worry about. blade will take such good care of you that you'll forget you're even having the period.
"the cookies are on the table. don't eat too many or you'll ruin your appetite. dinner will be ready soon."
"...did you read my mind or something?"
β‘ "you looking for pads? sure, i can help ya look. planning on riding a horse, darlin'?" -> referring to cowboy pads.
β‘ i feel like boothill would know what periods are but he wouldn't know what women do during them.
β‘ the thought process is less of "i don't think i should be getting involved." and more of "yep the ladies' have got it covered π". but he'll still help if you ask.
β‘ it would be an extremely funny affair. just imagine boothill up to his arms with different packs of pads while on call with you so that he can figure out what to buy. every time he bends down to pick one up another falls out of his hands.
β‘ each one he raises up to the camera he asks about ten questions on and says something about if you really need that many options. the look you give him shuts him up and he never says it again.
β‘ dude reads out the names of the brands and has this confused look on his face while simultaneously trying to get it right. it's like "l-lauri...laureel??? forkin' hell, what kinda name is this?!"
β‘ and you're like, boothill, just get the damn pads. meanwhile the galaxy ranger is more concerned with trying to pronounce the names right. he's determined to, you will not stop him.
β‘ he IS the proudest mf ever after finishing the job and he brags about it. if someone asks about it boothill will just start grinning and go "yeah, i did this for my lady and i'm proud of it. what're YOU gonna do about it?"
β‘ you are going to get doted on, pampered, the whole nine yards. boothill is at your every beck and call. you are getting the princess treatment and beyond.
β‘ the petnames all come out too. 'sweetheart', 'doll', 'sugar'. in that accent of his too? mhm you're jumping his bones when you can.
β‘ just a personal opinion, but he looks like the type of guy to crack stupid jokes to distract you from the pain of your cramps. it's a 75/25 hit or miss but when he gets you, he GETS you. he's so happy about it too.
β‘ he also knows he doesn't have a filter, so he's given you the permission to hit him if he says something stupid. aim for the head, you'll hurt yourself if you hit his body.
β‘ boothill may not be the best, but he tries. and i think that's enough.
"wait, i swear i have a good one this time!"
"why are cowboys bad at math?"
"because they're always roundin' things up!"
"do me a favour and shut yourself down."
β‘ the sweetest girl alive who is committed to the cause.
β‘ robin will get you the best pads money can buy because you deserve the best. yes she knows the brand you always use, but a few extras from the more pricier brands wouldn't hurt. gotta make sure her angel is taken care of!
β‘ you have to remind her sometimes not to get too carried away or else she'll spend more than she planned to. she can't help but spoil you really.
β‘ i feel like the way she chooses pads is both mindful and certain, like robin doesn't spend much time on deciding but she also doesn't go through it quickly? it's this very nice balance that makes it seem almost leisurely.
β‘ she's just a girlie shopping for pads leave her alone.
β‘ sometimes she'll find new products on the shelf and ask if you want them. even better if they come in a pair or set so both of you can try them together!
β‘ you know that thing where girls are able to sync up their periods? it happens to you both more often than not and robin is always so excited when it happens because it means you guys are suffering together.
β‘ just kidding it means robin gets to cuddle you while you're swaddled in a heap of blankets and watching Say Yes to the Dress. you are not leaving for the next 48 hours.
β‘ you'll be like "baby i can't breathe." and robin will just purr and nuzzle further into you, pressing her body against yours to savour some more of your toasty warmth. the nesting urge is real with this one.
β‘ she insists on skin care and massages as well, and warm bubble baths are a must too. robin will lather your back and you'll preen her feathers, allowing the stress of the day to wash away.
β‘ robin also lulls you to sleep with that angelic voice of hers, the singing melodious and utterly heavenly. the pain and aches all but disappear when you hear it, and you somehow feel lighter each time, a numbing haze over your mind.
β‘ the week is more bearable with her by your side.
"that wedding dress is stunning."
"it is! i adore the lace front on it. would you wear something like that, angel?"
"when we get married, sure."
"hehe, maybe it will come sooner than you think."
β‘ these two will combine the half braincell they each got into one and accomplish the task. but before that they will each need to roll a nat 20 on intelligence just to be safe.
β‘ stelle and caelus bring all kinds of 'pads with wings'. examples include bicycle pads with wing motifs, seat pads with wings etc. just know that each one is more ridiculous and deranged than the next.
β‘ it's quite impressive that in the huge pile of knick knacks, there is absolutely nothing close to what you were asking for. in fact, you swear you see some living things in there...
β‘ along the way, instructions were also lost in translation as they bring pom pom to you, the conductor dressed in an angel outfit and bound by a red ribbon. they squirm and struggle as stelle flashes you a grin.
β‘ honestly, you would've been better off asking anyone else on the express than them. but i guess the power of love makes you believe in them more than you should.
β‘ in the end, you need to write a very specific list for the both of them to follow and provide a few pictures, to which caelus nods along like he understands and stelle squints to scrutinise the picture more.
β‘ when they get the job done, trust me when i say that they're ALL over you. it's an active competition between the both of them to see who is the better helper and they WILL sabotage each other.
β‘ you have to be the one to prevent stelle from choking out caelus when he 'accidentally' knocks over the cake she made for you and caelus from setting stelle on fire when she trips him up and makes him drop the pot of tea meant for you.
β‘ i like the idea that stelle and caelus are major fumblers and goofballs until they realise their actions are actually pissing you off and not helping whatsoever.
β‘ only then will they lock in and function together like a well-oiled machine, suddenly becoming the best caretakers in existence. the switch-up is crazy.
β‘ the express expresses their respect to you for being able to tame two raccoons.
"stelle, you're in the way. get your head off her thigh."
"no way! first come, first serve. get in line, caelus."
"guys, please, i have two thighs for a reason..."
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