beat your dick not your rats

the "if youre gonna make a fanfic of me" is stolen from connors twitter "if youre gonna make a homoerotic fanfic of me, make it with a smoking hot babe not @jschlatt"

eventually you reach a point in your gif-making career where you take a step back and wonder ’where did I go wrong?’

Tucker knew Church was an AI before he did

Tucker could tell after listening in for ten minutes that Grif and Simmons were secretly married

Tucker was the one who found the kickass super alien sword and learned how to use it

Tucker killed Wyoming in Season 5

Tucker and his alien progeny became ambassadors for human/alien relations and science

Tucker fought off “CT” and the goons of (what turned out to be) Charon Industries for weeks in the middle of the desert with no backup

Tucker called out Epsilon!Church for obsessively following Texas down through multiple layers of existence, booting him in the ass to break the destructive cycle and stop being a creepy robot stalker as well

Tucker was the one who (we can assume) thought to put Wash in Church’s old armor to hide him, realizing that despite the fucked up things he’d done Washington had been used in horrible ways by PFL and the UNSC and gave him another chance

Tucker calling out Epsilon!Church (again) after he and Carolina left them

Tucker standing up for Washington to Epsilon!Church

Tucker learning from his mistakes

Tucker apologizing to Epsilon!Church while at the same time sticking up for himself/not falling back to their old “lets be assholes to each other instead of talking about anything” routine

Tucker being inspired by Washington, Carolina, and Kimball to work at being a great leader

Tucker putting together the plan that put his life on the line to reveal Felix and Locus is literally just the most recent in a long line of rad-as-fuck things he’s done as a character

Tucker not being a one note character and showing the most growth out of any of the Blood Gulch Crew

“Wash’ I could kiss you!”

Felix trying to get Wash to walk in heels.

“First, where did you get those? Second, no." 

"Aw, come on, Agent Seriousface." 

"I said no, dammit." 

"I’ll give you a blowjob." 

…..wait… why do you have heels in my size?" 

"Because you can’t resist my pretty ass.”