we are so, so alive

I've failed to read rooms I was alone in

i actually have an angel on both of my shoulders and no devil because i'm a morally flawless person and don't experience temptation, but it seems like my two shoulder angels maybe have a dom/sub thing going on because one angel clearly gets a kick out of interrupting when the other is talking to correct them and is super handsy all the time in such a condescendingly affectionate way, and the other angel always just gets blushy and flustered and goes along with it. which is honestly pretty fucked up because the submissive one actually gives better advice

i lowkey carry within me an ancient sadness

what they dont tell you about the field of Being Chained To Radiators In Someones Basement is that its ALL networking and word of mouth. you can never find it on indeed or whatever you really have to put yourself out there and really the job finds you. sometimes the job suddenly finds you vulnerable and walking home alone late at night. happened to my buddy once

Waiter oh waiter more salt in my wound please!!!

[sitting completely still in my own bed] this world is gutting me like a fish

beating the fuck out my husband because I can’t remember my Etsy password

imagine how good it must feel to press a gun to your temple after a bad day and just hold it there with your eyes closed for a few minutes before sighing and putting it away

i could never be hannibal lecter because i hate lying theyd be like and whats for dinner hannibal and id be like it's beef SORRRYYYYY its actually a guy who i killed and cooked up 😬 are you mad at meee and theyd say no hannibal you told the truth and thats what matters and then we'd all hug

and they alternate every few minutes

i need to press that man like a flower. get in the book boy

They have something like 20 alive greys at area 51 and they have already gotten all they can from from them so they just make the the poor lil fellas fight. Im talking bare knuckle weak little noodle arms slamming into those huge noggins. Really sick and twisted stuff.

being self aware suuuucks like yeah this thought pattern/behavior is stupid and pointless and a symptom. i know this. [does it anyways

hi. will it ever end

my first favorite hobby is yapping. second is being extremely quiet and not talking ever at all ever.

Bitches love my lifeless dead eyes