Clueless But Trying

when ur drunk any bathroom is a save point

i have no memory of posting this

OP died and respawned before they posted this

Chosen.

If this were to happen to me i would burst into tears

That’s…that’s god..

Tube face.

why wasn’t I tagged in this ?????

HE WAS SINGING THE CHOCOBO THEME

i always thought of a king sized bed as being a bit bigger than a queen, but now that i have one, i can tell you that a king sized bed is an absurdity. i can sprawl out, and my husband can sprawl out, and the cat can sprawl out, and none of us are touching. i reach out in the night, and find only pillows and plush walruses. i reach further and eventually find his elbow. he rolls over the comforters to try and find me. “i have crossed oceans of bed to be with you,” he says. there is a vast expanse of bed untouched, unmapped, unexplored. the cat is still trying to sleep on my face.

This is the opposite of a creepypasta

It’s a soothingpasta. Let’s make more of them

des

pa

literally desaturate any frame from john m.ulaney’s latest standup and it looks like it’s from a variety show in 1935

I’m sorry but variety shoes did not exist in 1935. Or even 45