⋆.˚𖦹𓆑Sydney𓆑𖦹˚.⋆

i hate that i still feel so icky about this straight guy who started consciously misgendering me while apparently trying to flirt with me. like it felt awesome that i got along with these guys and it felt like they actually liked having me around. and i just. i thought i was making a bro but apparently he thought he was making romantic strides with a not-too-uncomfortably GNC goth girl, before he quote "found out i was a he" (which was before names were exchanged. like we had the "so you used to be a girl but now you're a guy?" convo way before any flirtatious joke was made. i dont understand) it makes me so uncomfortable because i really liked him as a friend and i thought he was just comfortable with me and actually thought i was funny and fun to be around. but he was just dogshit at flirting and saw me as a girl. and i hate that i keep thinking about it, im just humiliated. it's an embarrassing transguy desire that's not uncommon to want to be accepted in a group of asshole loser guys, and this was the first time i like, fit in without trying. and i was dressed like myself and i didnt force anything. but it makes me feel like it was like. insincere . and im embarrassed i didnt catch on to it or cut it off when it got so obvious. like holy shit it was so obvious. i thought it was a bit. i thought it was a running gag. i fucking started the bit! there was no flirting or sign of interest before my first "this guy totally hit on me" joke !!!! by the time he was staring at me and making excuses to make contact with me and inching up to me to lay as close to me on this guy's bed as he could, he already knew i was married !!!! he knew i was a guy, he knew i was taken, he told me he was straight. i was just excited to make more irl guy friends. and i compared it to how he acted with the other guys and it just felt like. yeah this is just how some guys treat their friends. im making friends