my art peaked wen i was 4 or so and would just throw whatever shit i could find (juice, rainwater, plants, moss, shells, dirt, sugar, soap, rocks, milk, toys etc.) in2 a bucket n stir it with a wooden spoon 4 hours sitting in th garden n wen som1 would ask me wot th fuck i was doing i would b like “Potion”

who has a car i will pay u $10 to run me over

what are these “shower thoughts” everybody’s talking about, i dont think about anything in the shower, my mind is completely blank as i douse my body in scalding hot water and stare at a wall

my brain, interrupting my daydream: this is poorly researched and the narrative is not compelling

Brain: “Do it again, take it from the top.”

i NEED to sit in chairs with armrests but not for my arms only so that i can then sling my leg over them in a debonaire and extremely comfortable style 

Scott Lang, upon realizing Peter Parker can’t shrink: oh okay no biggee, we’ll just make the LEGO castle big

#and then Tony wonders when the hell HE became the responsible one#and promptly abandons his responsibilities#and jumps in his armor#to go zoom around the life size death star#pretending he’s Luke doing the trench run (via)

It got better!

I was gonna SAY, Tony would fly out there, look at the thing, and go…. No, this isn’t life size. Impressive though. Okay, bugs, put on these helmets, we’re taking this into orbit and doing this at 1:1 scale.

Guardians arriving back in Earth orbit for a visit: Rocket : When the **** did Earth get another moon? Peter Qull (with an indescribable look on his face, but knowing his entire life has built to this moment): That’s no moon!

Yes

PLEASE YES PLEASE

*me taking yet another buzzfeed quiz at 2am* please tell me who i am

minimum wage means minimum effort babeyy

HELP I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING

Sometimes life is just beautiful.

May you never be forgotten, magical forest accordion man

He’s playing the Lost Woods song from Zelda that’s the important part

Thank you for making real life a little more surreal