celestial prick.

✪ 。゜ ⠀ ☆ 。゜ ⠀ ★ Closed Starter » { Chuck / Charlie }

✦ —   * ⠀ / ⠀ 𝙁𝙄𝙇𝙀𝘿 𝙐𝙉𝘿𝙀𝙍 ⠀﹕⠀ ❪ @celestialpriick ❫

He should have found the words spoken absurd, but Mike had seen and experienced far too many things to even be remotely surprised by that way of talking.  That was why the reason behind the raise of one of his brow was due to the way her idea simply didn't sit right with him.  " Why ? "  Disbelief wrapped around such simple question.

@celestialpriick braved the city to leave a message: ❝ That man’s asshole must be tight enough right now to bend space. ❞ for tony

"I'm not sure I'd go that far…"

Every time that Charlie decided to follow up on her curiosity, it never seemed to end well, but if she was going to keep her nose out of the future like she had promised...then this was the only way for her to get to know humans. Perhaps bending space and and someone's ass wasn't the way to go though. " I would at least buy him a drink before I suggested such a thing. " She chuckles before turning her attention back to him.

Collected quotes from the RPC Development Tea Room Discord Server! Feel free to change wording/etc to fit your muse.

(Name), you wouldn’t be you if you had chill.

I’m hoping Glitz is like glam rock. Jazz with more glitter. Like a hair band.

It sounds like they’ve named their dogs using one of those ‘what is your porn name?’ memes.

sorry sir, you’re asking for services that come with the girlfriend package, & you’re currently subscribing to the fringe benefits deal, please talk to me about an upgrade

this has backfired tremendously

leaves splayed out like a professional on a porn set’s casting couch

my next life, make me a fuckin houseplant

I have moments where I brain goodly

I’m a houseplant with more complicated emotions

But I’m a coconut ho

If you tell me they made you cry, I will burn down their house with them in it, & I will never forget they did that.

I regularly say Mercury is in Gatorade to fuck with people

and at some point I realized that I was in too deep

get your capybaras we got so many of em. ya want a sleepy one? a caffeine addicted one? how about an angry capybara, an angybara if you will

So edible undies, but made of cookies instead of fruit rollups?

where’s that cookie underwear, i need to eat my feelings

you’re not allowed to charge me with murder again

THREE TIMES I’VE BEEN ACCUSED OF MURDER WHEN IT WAS MAN-SLAUGHTER AND YOU KNOW IT

Well i guess setting yourself on fire would wake you up

DON’T THINK UNPURE THOUGHTS ABOUT WINNIE THE POOH I SWEAR

I came back to some weird shit

I felt my entire ass loosen.

Cows care not for hygiene

I think IHOP might be where hope goes to die, and I say that as having been in many an IHOP at 3am

life is too short and i choose violence

DID YOU JUST COMPARE ME TO THE BUG’S LIFE RIDE IN ANIMAL KINGDOM?

She is a ship, He’s a canal, Can I make anymore obvious?

It’s your fault I’m gay as hell so it must be your fault everyone else is too

the feral part is most accurate

send in the bitchslapping raccoons

you don’t gotta be old to be a cryptid

stop trying to kill people

I feel like I was rickrolled by a pet site.

grand theft horsey

jeff bezos; not even the first dickhead into space, but probably the first flying in on one

YOU SHUSH YOU SHITSTIRRER

May I remind everyone that they have the ass of a frog

what emotion am I depicting?? fuck around and find out

just because you read it in a fanfic doesn’t mean its a good idea

That information makes sense but I don’t like it

The heat wave has turned me into a part time nudist i swear

this isn’t twilight

But most importantly, hotter than Satan’s asscrack in a lava bath, so not a viable option

content warnings: alcohol, drinking, killing, death, murder. feel free to change prompts as necessary!

❝i feel like it’s my responsibility to stop them.❞

❝i ask people if i can trust them, they say yes, and then they trick me! or they use me to do bad things.❞

❝this seems like a very large task for one person.❞

❝i almost died today, motherfuckers. i almost died.❞

❝well, only one place to go and that’s down.❞

❝stay put. don’t move.❞

❝hi! want some booze?❞

❝you seem to have such an affinity for cute things.❞

❝anyone else feel like going for a swim?❞

❝as long as you don’t mind dying, sure.❞

❝we are the worst people.❞

❝i respect you and your intentions, but your caution does not get to control other people’s destinies.❞

❝there’s only so many burdens we can bear before we’re just asking for failure.❞

❝you did check for traps, right?❞

❝no! i’m opening it. fuck off grandpa!❞

❝maybe you’re cursed.❞

❝how did you survive?❞

❝we solved the mystery.❞

❝light the damn sticks of dynamite, just do it!❞

❝i don’t know what i’m doing. just go with it.❞

❝should i burn it?❞

❝you faded away there for a second. are you good?❞

❝let's focus on the good things in our lives.❞

❝is there anything of use or value here at all?❞

❝things are looking up.❞

❝earlier you said i could talk to you whenever i want. and i thank you for that.❞

❝that’s a good name. names are important.❞

❝i’ll take out everyone!❞

❝wake up, there’s an ambush!❞

❝are you bullshitting me?❞

❝we’re doing what we need to survive.❞

❝if you’re going to do bad things, at least work for someone who’s rich and doing bad things! don’t just steal from people on the road, that’s stupid!❞

❝only steal from grumpy people!❞

❝i was trying to be jovial, i’m sorry. i shouldn’t have tried that.❞

❝there’s nothing better than waking up in the morning with no pants and flowers in your hair.❞

❝i’ve never been here, but i’ve heard stories.❞

❝where do the best parties happen?❞

❝laughter and music? i don’t trust laughter and music.❞

❝have you ever been dancing before?❞

❝is this your first time here?❞

❝sorry to interrupt your incessant flirting. can i please have a damn drink?❞

❝if you drink enough you won’t remember either way.❞

❝was it someone special?❞

❝i’ve never thought of you as an optimistic person, but that’s a very positive way of looking at things.❞

❝you are not going to pass out on the street.❞

❝what’s the thing you’re most proud of?❞

❝am i allowed to rob him?❞

❝you look like you’ve got an honest face.❞

❝it’s fine. you’re not in any danger.❞

❝hi, i’m here to take care of your spinny death problem.❞

❝i don’t think they’re going to let me in.❞

❝i’m quite sure. did i stutter?❞

❝can’t we just please go kill your damn death robot?❞

❝i can speak when i have to.❞

❝is that your blood or is that mine?❞

❝the only thing that’s magical here is you.❞

❝sometimes the people who help you are the least expected.❞

❝my entire life has been plans being made for me.❞

❝i don’t think you and i have the same plan, but they might overlap. i will be willing to help you.❞

❝let’s make a pact that if either one of us does something stupid, we’re each other’s failsafes.❞

❝i don’t think i want to hurt anymore people and i don’t think you want to either.❞

❝i think i can help you. i think you can help me. i think we can do some good here.❞

❝if i left, i would find my way back to you.❞

❝i do better with you around.❞

❝for all the visions, the darkness out there, it’s good to know that somehow we’re all putting a little bit of light out there too.❞

❝i have a question. does anyone have booze?❞

❝i’m trying this thing where i’m trying to be more polite.❞

❝i am the greatest detective of all time! i took one drink and solved the case!❞

❝you’re going to be a fucking piece of work.❞

❝i’m more than happy to kill something at this point. i have some aggression to work out.❞

❝do we want to stay in the haunted house?❞

❝that’s the most fucked up shit i’ve ever seen.❞

❝truly nothing escapes your astute observation.❞

❝i thought we were getting to know each other.❞

❝did you have a happy home life growing up?❞

❝i’ll help you try to get revenge on your vague past.❞

❝how about you tell me one fact about you and i tell you one about me?❞

❝what’s the best lie you’ve ever told?❞

❝you are a good friend to have and a terrible enemy to make.❞

❝i didn’t know! i’m sorry. i’m sorry. i didn’t know.❞

❝i’m not walking away from this.❞

❝it’s funny how the good people can make us assholes feel so small.❞

❝i think you’re supposed to say some stuff about how good they were and how many people loved them, and what a wonderful life they had, but i don’t think any of that is true.❞

❝i thought you were talking to yourself again.❞

❝are you willing to kill?❞

❝i have lost people before. i have found ways to find them in nature.❞

❝this is my first time trying to be more than i am.❞

❝you and i, we’re going to survive this.❞

❝i don’t have any family; you’re the closest thing i have.❞

❝you may be kind of weird but you’re also nice.❞

❝i am nauseous. let’s go kill a bunch of people.❞

❝i would like to hug you.❞

❝usually when people come here, it is because of some great tragedy. how can i alleviate your pain?❞

❝i’m gonna take a guess: you don’t leave here very much do you?❞

❝violence is extremely natural.❞

❝i’m canonically a coward!❞

❝oh this is going wonderful.❞

❝you don’t need to do this if you don’t want to.❞

❝brave. dead. it’s semantics, really.❞

❝they. are. going. to. die.❞

❝it’s not your fault.❞

❝this won’t happen again.❞

❝i would have laid down my life for you.❞

❝i’m sorry i wasn’t faster.❞

❝it looks better on you.❞

❝you can cook?❞

❝leave me alone. i’m reading.❞

❝i would feel a little safer if i knew a little bit more about you.❞

❝i’ll find you when i’m ready.❞

❝most people in my life leave.❞

❝there is always a cost.❞

❝i made the earth remember him.❞

❝congratulations on being alive.❞

❝you cannot blame yourself when you are taken advantage of.❞

❝i have people i want to find and things i want to remedy.❞

❝i feel like you should embrace the morbidity of life.❞

❝afraid? i’m not afraid of anything!❞

❝did you see what i did?❞

❝why didn’t you come?❞

❝you promise you won’t leave?❞

❝i don’t think i’ve ever come across magic like that.❞

❝things that are unknown are notably able to draw dangerous and inquiring eyes and minds.❞

❝just so you know, i think i can punch ghosts now.❞

❝i just know if i saw a ghost, i would want to punch it. ghosts are scary.❞

❝it’s easier to steal things when you can pay for them with money.❞

❝this is not where i am supposed to be.❞

❝i have no specific destination in mind.❞

❝i’ll go where you go.❞

❝what do you want to know?❞

❝well i can’t go home.❞

❝we stick together.❞

❝we have things we need to do and we don’t have forever to do them.❞

❝you know what i’ve done.❞

❝sometimes you have to take a big risk if it’s that important.❞

❝you can’t just sneak up on a person!❞

❝sorry, just figured you’d want some company.❞

❝i've always loved the water.❞