Trash Can Dream Man

one thing about me is i’m gonna go lay down

who is scott free and why are so many people getting him off

never forget what's really important: approval from pervert women on the internet

your blorbos don't have to be romantic to love each other (#platonic love wins) but also they don't have to love each other to be romantic. ship those characters as a loveless marriage. make their feelings tragically one-sided with no hope of change. put them in a dead end relationship that they both know needs to end but neither are willing to admit it yet. more bad ships forever. its enrichment for me.

let's develop a perfect plan

1. get cozy in bed

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My alone time is for everyone’s safety

if you're really chill about a lot of stuff, you will eventually become The Person Who Can Be Told Things and unlock a secret extra layer of knowledge about your friends

every friend group has a corpse in it. if you think yours doesn't, YOU'RE the corpse.

Yesterday a kid said to me "excuse me? Your hair looks like beautiful anime hair" which is already amazing and then she said "watch me on your camera when I go down the slide I'm going to do the Peter Griffin death pose when I come out" and she sure did.

"mOnEy WoN't SoLvE aLL yOuR pRoBLeMs" speak for urself $5000 would heal me