Cecilie S. Højberg

Seriously, people have a very weird idea of what it means to be an adult. I have patients who come to me and tell me they are unhappy with their lives and they don’t understand why, because they have a job, they have a good salary, they can pay their bills, they have a significant other, they’re doing everything right and still they’re unhappy.

And then we start talking and talking and, finally, we reach the real problem: they stopped being themselves.

I have so many patients who stopped doing things they liked - harmless things, fun things - because they felt it was innapropriate for an adult to do them.

Videogames? I’m too old for that.

Comic books? I’m too old for that.

Disney movies? That’s for kids.

Super hero movies/series? I’m an adult, I should act like one.

Going to parks/carnivals? I don’t have kids to do that with.

It’s scary how these people simply gave up on these fun hobbies just because they reached a certain age. And it’s even more scary that they don’t see the problem with this.

Adult life is more than just work, paying bills and marriage. It’s about going out with your friends, it’s about buying silly things that have no purpose but to bring you a little joy, it’s about having fun and living your life to the fullest.

You don’t have to be a boring fuck to be an “acceptable adult”. Fuck society and fuck whoever says you can’t like something because you’re “too old”.

You’re never too old to do the things you like, play the games you want to play and watch the movies/series you want to watch.

Dress up and go to Comic Con. Go to the midnight premiere of your favorite super hero movie. Read the “silly teen books” you want to read. Play that “childish” game you’ve been wanting to play.

Being an adult doesn’t mean you need to forget who you are. Being older doesn’t mean you need to let go of the things you love and enjoy.

This is exactly why the whole "Queer characters can only be played by queer actors" argument, or the queerbaiting celebrities argument is not only unhelpful, it is actively harmful. You are not entitled to other peoples identity. You are forcing people to come out in order to protect their careers, when they may not have wanted to share that with the world. Real people can not queerbait. Real people can not be bad representations of themselves. Do not conflate how you treat fictional characters with how you are allowed to treat real people. We can not keep having the same conversation. Forcing people to come out or else face social consequences is Bad. Always. Everytime.

In this case, Kit is literally a teenager who has been facing overwhelming amounts of online abuse for not being open about his personal identity.

Im seeing it with other queer media too. With nicholas galitzin and taylor zakhar perez in the red white & royal blue movie, people demanding that they should have been recast with "actual queer actors" despite the fact that we do not know if they are or are not queer. We can never know until they tell us that they are, which they have not.

Im also seeing it with young royals. With the new season coming out later today, the speculation on omar and edvins sexuality and relationship is incredibly harmful and toxic. They are real people, please treat them like people instead of fictional characters you can write rambling, speculating paragraphs about.

I'll say it one more time.

Some people might wonder why one is censored and the other isn't.