only fools are satisfied

“Uh, no. It’s totally cool-- I was just venting about this stupid show I’m into right now. Sorry.”

“I was taught not to judge a book by its cover”

“My friend calls me Bambi if that helps at all.”

Excuse you, but pancakes are most obviously superior to waffles, Bambi.

“In what world, Steve? Your losing your mind, I’m convinced.”

“Do I look threatening?”

Denny’s keeps bragging about their pancakes and I’m pretty offended that I’ve yet to try those bad boys out. So…will you do me the honor of going on a pancake date with me? You’d be a real homie if you said yes.

As tempted as I am to accept, unfortunately I consider myself more of a waffle kind of girl.

“Meet Marcus! I uh- got him from the pet store”

“He’s adorable!” she smiled, reaching for the turtle before pulling her hand back. “Does he bite?”

“You didn’t ruin anything. I should’ve known better, and I’m sorry, okay? I’m just—sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing? There’s nothing for you to apologize for..”

“Why would I be mad at you, Bambi? If anyone should be pissed at anybody you should be pissed at me.”

“But I’m the one who-- you know, ruined things.”

“Yeah, I guess, but…I don’t know. Maybe I just wanted to see you, okay?”

“--You did? Why? I thought you were mad at me.”

“Look, I know I’m the last person you wanna see, but I just wanted to give this back to you, okay? And then I’ll leave forever.”

“You didn’t have to come all the way over here to bring this to me, you could’ve given it to Lilah or Oliver or something.”

It shouldn’t be more than $150, but I could be wrong about that, so all in all, it’s not as bad as it could be, but I’d rather spend that money on basically anything else. 

Dude, $150 is still awful, especially for college students. Like you could probably eat for a week with that money. 

I should have known it wasn’t going to be a good day after I spilled coffee all over my rental textbook.

Ah, been there, done that. How much are they gonna charge you for it? 

It’s more stressful than it looks!

Hey, I’m not doubting that. It looks incredibly tough.

God, don’t you just hate promposals?

Despise them. I knew this girl in high school who egged her boyfriends house and then gave him those sour patch kids candy and I guess the joke was that first she’s sour then she’s sweet. Awful.