im a simple person. i see a dog i want to pet it. 

I just want a rich business butch to make me her trophy wife and buy me louboutins and jewelry and take me to galas in a sexy tesla sports car and open the door for me in her sexy 3 piece suit and take my delicate hand as I arise out of the car in 6 inch louboutins and a red silk dress with a super high thigh slit and she walks me down the red carpet and into the gala honoring me for my work in my chosen profession because im her femme trophy wife but i also have advanced degrees in my field and I’ve written books and shit and she proof reads for me since I’m a lesbian that can’t spell and she’s my sexy power wife that wears power suits 24/7 and intimidates our kid’s teachers at school for pushing heteronormative stereotypes onto our child and says something at the end of the meeting with the principal like “and if I ever have to come down here for bullshit about my daughter rightfully defending herself I will make your life a living hell” and I’m at the curb in our tesla crossover because we respect the earth and my daughter says something witty about how the public school system is classist and it’s time for revolution and she wants a dog for her birthday but she’s only 10 and were not sure she’s ready for the responsibility and commitment of raising a pet but then I realize I want the dog so we go to the pet store and get a great Dane with black and white spots and name her daisy and the dog is also a lesbian. and also me and my wife bang in the tesla sports car.

This is how lesbian arguments usually play out

#‘you’re not in trouble you’re my wife’ just cleared my skin and watered my crops and murdered woody allen  

THIS IS MY FAVORITE VIDEO

nothing is real except my debilitating fear of not being liked by anyone

drunk girls that can’t stop outpouring compliments and affection to the people around them are literally too high quality for this world

like literally can u believe that women are so pure that when they are uninhibited and they can’t logically filter their actions all their brains can think to do is try to make friends w/ ppl and tell them they’re pretty