don't you mind?

He was in a loss for words as soon as he saw it was the old creaking piano emanating those notes. And a very concentrated someone he had never seen before. Eddie fixated on your eyes, and the way they were half closed, centered on the way your own fingers moved over the keys. He could see you counting, with the way your head bopped, your hair cascading on your back, bouncing after every movement your arms did, trying to reach the right note. 

“Fuck” you grunted before blowing air through your lips. Eddie’s head tilted to the right. Curious about what happened. It sounded good to him, he even was begging to sing along in his head. 

His eyes followed you, the way you stood softly shocked him, he half expected you to stump your way through the music room. He watched as you reached for one of the beat up guitars that hung in the wall. Eddie found himself scoffing, he knew those guitars were out of tune. But once again, he was shocked when he saw you tune it in a matter of seconds, just needing a couple of strums per string. 

He watched closely once again as you sat back down on the piano stool, and the way your fingers quickly found the chords that the piano had already played. He stood there for a bit longer, the urgency he had was now long forgotten. Instead curiosity invaded him. He was trying desperately to figure you out. 

“Found you fucker” You whispered after strumming after where you had stopped with the piano. 

He was deeply impressed, and he couldn’t quite understand what was going on, or why he had stood there. Or even how you had not caught him yet. 

The soft sound of the piano accompanied by the whispering of your voice led him back to reality. Eddie shook his head, letting his hair hit his face softly enough for him to refocus. With one last look, he left. 

Though the rhythm accompanied his steps. 

The lyrics repeated in his head. 

tangerine, tangerine

living reflection, from a dream. 

-

The faint smell of smoke filled the room, as the ashtray was slightly overflowing. The window slightly creaked open, even in the February cold. Papers were scattered around the table, some were partially stained, the fizzyness of the sodas making them stick to one another. The party looked at each other in a daze, at a true loss for words, the only thing left to do was stare at Eddie, waiting his words. 

He was captivating, as he narrated how the heretic Paladin Sir Keer was being accompanied down to the cells of the castle prison. He had been accused of treason, of an attempt on the life of the king, the very king the party was in charge of protecting. In the middle of a joust, there have been 3 separate attempts to end his life, Sir Keer on the center of all of them. 

“I would like to go visit Sir Keer.” Will spoke softly, under the attentive gaze of all of his colleagues. 

“You find your way through the cold and dark corners of the stone corridors, a couple of guards stand before the cell of Sir.Keer, what do you do?” Eddie asks, his hand gesturing as he asks. 

“In the name of the king I implore you to grant me a few moments with the prisoner.” Eddie smiled at the new found confidence that Will was exhibiting. Deep down he knew it had something to do with the recent change he had over the summer. 

After a persuasion check, and a very intimidating Will, he had somehow managed to get himself inside the jail cell. He was on the ground, acting as though he was on his side. A spy on the inside. 

“Tell me where to get another poison dagger, I can finish the job, I can get close to his highness.” 

“Emperor Fabicci, he was the one to give me the dagger, I’m sure he could give you one as well” Eddie let out in a thick Italian accent, not being able to avoid the smile that formed on his lips as soon as he saw the reaction on the party’s face. 

“Guards.” Will added coldly, a bit louder than before. “Arrest Emperor Fabicci at once. He just admitted to treason.”  

“Apostate!” Eddie wailed as he mimicked his arms chain into a wall where his throne was. 

“Well, where is your god now?” Will whispered back as his friends went ballistic around him, and Eddie couldn’t help but smile proudly. 

The session finished amidst of all the chaos that had formed in a second. 

He had one thing clear, that kid was the future of Hellfire. And Henderson. Henderson who was celebrating the narrative that had been created as if it was a personal gain. 

While Eddie pretended to clean, he paid attention to what they all talked about. It was an old habit he picked up a while ago, needing to know what they thought of the campaign. He paid close attention to what the young ones were talking about. 

“Wait, Steve’s not coming to pick us up?” Mike winned as he threw his backpack on. 

“Yeah, no, him and Robin are stuck at Family Video.” Dustin recited, by the tone of his voice it wasn’t the first time he said so. 

“It’s okay” Will added, looking straight into Mike’s eyes. “My sister is supposed to be studying, mom told me to pick me up. I’ll call her, I’ll tell her to drive you guys.” 

“10 bucks says she’s sleeping” Lucas whispered into Dustin’s ear, he looked back and quickly nodded, before Will could catch them. 

Eddie smiled to himself, and started gathering the papers he had hiding behind the screen. He had a system, in a way. 

“Shuffeling everything into the bag isn’t how you organise things” Dustin spoke carefully around him, expecting the shove Eddie playfully gave him. 

“Shitehead.” Eddie added before rustling his hair. He’d never admit it out loud, but seeing Dustin’s hair get longer and curlier filled him with a sense of joy, as if he was being seen for once, and not just tolerated. “You know, I could’ve driven you kids home.” 

“Sure, local freak drives kids in his van, that’ll work” Dustin sarcastically commented as he lifted his eyebrows, embracing Eddie’s hand on his chest with a chuckle. It wasn’t a warning, but a demonstration of appreciation. They both knew, they both understood. 

“How else am I gonna kidnap you?” Eddie added to the ongoing joke, smiling deeply once he heard Dustin’s chuckle. 

“It’s alright, Mrs.Byers is a bit paranoid about Will getting back home anyway.” With a scrunch of his shoulders, he started helping Eddie. 

They stayed quiet, talking about the campaign here and there. Eddie enjoyed that closeness, and the feeling that he mattered. 

As always, they all walked outside together, closing each door carefully. With each step, the coldness was more noticeable, that icy smell that fills the lounges in that spiky specific way. 

Thankfully for you, the car shields you from that cold. 

The soft buzzing of the motor dozes you off, you let your head rest against the window. For a few seconds, you enjoy the quiet. You let yourself close your eyes. You let yourself not think for a second. 

The loud closing sound of the metal door startles you. 

Will smiles at you, waving his hand eagerly from side to side. You can’t help but beam at the image of him. The amount of love you have for your brother couldn’t even be measured if you tried. You catch Dustin digging into his pocket just before slapping Luca’s hand. 

You let yourself out of the car, eager to help Will and his friend puzzle in their backpacks onto your trunk. 

Eddie’s lips curled upwards. As soon as he saw your hair moving, he recognised you. The mysterious musician had a name, a family, was real. 

He hadn’t imagined it. 

With the light of your car hitting your figure from the back and the soft mist that was starting to fall, Eddie thought he was in the making of a movie scene. 

He needed to know more about you. 

-

“You should go out more.” Robin teased again, her feet high on the table. 

“I do go out.” You mumble out, getting a fistful of sweets and nit picking the ones you actually like. “I went out to pick you up.” 

“I meant like, parties and stuff...” She let out, quickly and softly. Sometimes it was hard to understand her words. 

“You want to go on parties?” You spun around, your eyes now looking straight into her. 

“Not a lot, just…some.” 

“Who’s the girl?” You immediately asked, shoving your foot into her leg. You rested your head on the back of your sofa, looking at her as you waited for her to stop being embarrassed. 

“Vicky…” She whispers, her cheeks flushed, her freckles almost disappearing. 

“You look like a strawberry. Cute.” Robin chuckled as she returned the shove you had just given her. “Yeah, we can go out, wherever she is.” 

“As if you need more excuses to distract yourself.” Steve’s voice erupted as the door opened. You rolled your eyes as you shook your head. 

“You’re starting to sound like my mother.” 

“You’re starting to stand like her too.” Dustin added, slightly pointing at the way Steve’s hands were on his hips. 

“You already have kids, like her.” Robin joked further. Breaking Steve’s concentrated face with a small smile. 

“Well, Mrs.Byers is an excellent mother, and so am I… it appears.” Steve threw the hard VHS tape onto your lap as you grunted. 

Dustin walked around the sofa, plummeting himself on your side as he left the pizza boxes on top of your table. 

“How come you’re not at Luca’s game?” You chirped, taking his cap off so you could rustle his hair out of his eyes. 

“Rude.” He said before snatching the cap out of your hands. “I didn’t feel like third wheeling.” 

“Will went.” 

“Exactly.” 

“I don’t get it.” You added going back to inspecting the tape. 

“Is Jonathan coming?” Robin spoke after a short chuckle, her eyes shifting from you to Steve. 

“Nah, he’s at the game with Nancy, she asked him to get some pictures for the Highschool paper thingy” You replied, before looking back at Dustin. “Is that what you meant?” Dustin just shook his head with that grin he seemed to have inherited from someone. 

“What are we watching exactly?” 

“Labyrinth, it says so on the tape.” Steve chirped as he plummeted to the once blue armchair. “You're so far behind you’ve forgotten how to read?” 

“Dingus.” You recited in Robin’s tone. “What’s it about.” 

“You’ll like it, Bowie’s in it.” Robin shuffled her leg so she could hit yours. 

“Does he sing in it?” The light came back in your voice. Everytime music was involved in something, your voice seemed to do that. It got higher in tone, fuller on every syllable. 

“That he does.” Robin chirped as she swiped the tape away from your hands, squatting in front of the T.V so the movie could start soon. 

-

It went by smoothly. 

Though you bolted to your room as soon as the movie ended, picking up the broken guitar you had found in Hopper’s garage. It was missing one of the strings, and you could never get it on tune. It was perfect, even if it sounded off. 

They knew the deal, you needed to figure out the musicality of every song you liked, and as soon as they saw you counting with your fingers when Bowie sang along the goblins. 

You found your way back into the sofa, under the watchful eyes of your friends, you started strumming the strings as you mumbled the notes you remembered. Without uttering a word, Steve rewinded the tape until the scene started again and threw the remote at you. You nodded as a way to say thank you. 

The door opened, Will found his way next to you. 

“Jonathan’s staying over.” Will muttered as soon as he sat next to you. 

“Lucky him” You joked with your younger brother as he shuffled closer to you. 

“What are we working on?” The question came out of his lips naturally, having asked it a million times. 

“Bowie.” 

“Your favourite.” 

“Only because you like him so much” He giggled as he observed you closely. It had become one of his favourite activities. 

Whilst they pretended to clean, Dustin was planning one of his schemes. 

He recognised that look. That driven, obsessed, head over heels look for one thing. Music. 

Steve also recognised Dustin’s look. He quickly gave him a shove. 

“What are you scheming?” Steve’s accusatory tone made Robin turn around, her eyes swifting from you to Dustin. 

“They’d be perfect, no?” 

“Who?” Steve and Robin asked in unison. 

“Her. With Eddie.” Dustin stated as if it had been a universal truth wrongfully ignored. 

A silence fell between the three of them. 

All three heads thinking different scenarios, situations of the could be met up, how it would work. What could happen. 

“She’d be too blunt.” Robin shushed, covering her mouth as she spoke. Afraid that she might be wrong. 

“And he wouldn’t?” Steve shrugged, his hand leaving his hip to play with his hair. A nervous tick he had when he tried to assess a situation. 

“He might get into a speech she’s not interested in.” Robin concluded, sharing Steve’s point of view. 

“Or, perhaps. They both speak the same language.” Dustin pointed out, his eyebrows raising slightly. 

As soon as their eyes looked back at you, and saw you hunched over the guitar, they all could swear the same thing. It was like seeing double for just a second. 

It was only made more evident by the little celebration you shared with Will, as soon as you got the chorus riff right on that out of tune guitar.

-

Eddie’s mind seemed to be elsewhere. 

Wayne had caught on quickly, by the way he took off his shoes when he arrived home, late as ever. Instead of them being thrown into a corner of the hall, one pointing west and the other east, they were both neatly gathered by the side of the door. The way someone who was deep in thought and wanted to pretend to be perfectly fine would take them off. 

Wayne said nothing. 

He just checked, as he always did in those early hours of dawn when he came back home, that his godson was resting inside his room. Nestled inside a cocoon of covers and blankets. His hair everywhere, covering his face. Wayne always made sure to open a window, letting the soft air flow through the closed room, allowing the sun rays to wake Eddie up in a few minutes. 

Usually, that’s how he woke up. This time around, he simply closed his eyes tighter as soon as he heard Wayne’s footsteps, pretending to still be asleep. Opening them as soon as the door was closed once again. 

Everytime his eyes closed, that image of you playing the piano, softly counting the rhythm with your head nods would appear. If not that one, his more recent one would invade his thoughts. You really had looked like an angel when the light of your car hit you from the back. Your arms opened so you could hug your brother. 

Eddie wondered. He wondered while he was making an extra pot of coffee for Wayne, he wondered while he was getting changed, he wondered while he ate his buttered toast with some leftover jam, he wondered while he was brushing his teeth, he wondered while he was gathering his things before leaving, he even wondered has he was driving. 

What would your voice sound like? Were you as soft as you seemed? What did your hair smell like? Was it vainilla or coconut? Where did you discover that song? What other songs could you play? How long did it take you to learn a new one? Where did you find the sheet music for it? Was it all in your head? If so, could you teach him how to do that? He saw you playing guitar, how old where you when you started playing? Had you both been playing for the same amount of time? What flavour are your lips? Is your skin soft to the touch? WOuld you allow him to find out? 

He couldn’t stop. 

It was driving him insane. 

He was so deep in thought, he thought he was imagining things. 

It took him longer than he would like to admit, realising that you were actually speaking with Robin, and that you had dropped off Will and Dustin in the span of five minutes. All happening a few feet from where he was. 

You smiled. 

You smiled and the world stopped. 

It wasn’t at him, but he didn’t care. He saw you smile and laugh with Robin, before heading somewhere he couldn’t follow you to. The crowd had engulfed you. Just as quickly as he spotted you, he had lost you. 

Fuck, not again. 

It was torture. 

Before he was conscient of what he was doing he found himself between Dustin and Robin, both of them looking at him astonished. 

“Good morning?” Robin asked with a puzzled look on her face. 

Eddie’s eyes were still searching for you, someplace, anywhere. 

“Yeah, yeah” Eddie shushed, switching his gaze back on his friends. “Who was that, exactly?” He needed to get to the point, anything, something. 

“Who?” Dustin's voice sounded ironic, expecting a laugh from Robin that came out in a muttered chuckle. 

“She came to pick you guys up, she was laughing with Robin just a second ago?” He was starting to lose it, not wanting to tell on himself. He was over-animated, focused, driven by a mystery he needed to solve. 

The only thing they could do was laugh. Not at him, but at the conversation they had last night, and just how right -once again- Dustin had been. 

“Girl Byers?” Robin chuckled, playing with her hair to avoid looking intimidating. Eddie was close enough to her to understand, this teasing was part of her way of caring. 

“What about my sister?” Will chirped, as they all started walking to their classes. 

“Since when do you have a sister?” Eddie grunted with confusion, his eyebrows raised as the words left his mouth. 

“Since I was born…?” Will answered with clear sarcasm in his tone. He felt a small shuffle in his shoulder from Robin. 

“Fuck off.” 

“Why so many questions, Munson?” Robin inquired, standing still in the hall, before parting for her class. 

“She appeared out of thin air, I’m worried she might be part fae” The way Eddie lied was hypnotic, he always found a way to divert people, to create an environment where the line between what was true and what was a lie was blurred. But this time, Dustin caught the lie. It was his eyes, they were a bit too open, a bit too alert. 

“She could be a bard, she hasn’t let go of that beat up guitar lately” Will commented absentmindedly. 

Beat up? The guitar in the music room was old, but not beat up. The mystery got wider in Eddie’s mind. 

“Who’d thought? She failed the same classes… like a hundred times.” Dustin added fuel to the fire, his right hand under his chin. 

Eddie went quiet, he just wanted to listen, to gather information. To know what to do, what to say if he runs into you again. 

“I think that has more to do with Lonnie…” Will go shy at the end of his sentence, as if speaking his name brought only misfortune. 

“Lonnie? Who’s that?” Eddie couldn’t help but let the words out with one breath. He regretted it immediately, seeing how Will went blank in that same instant. 

“His dad, total douchebag.” Lucas finally spoke out, appearing behind them just at the right moment. 

“She had to go away, some legal stuff with my mom… But she has finally come back, so she’s finishing the classes she needs to” Will felt like he was monologuing now, and too many eyes were on him. He got nervous, he started to press his fingernails against the inside of his fingers and his palm, right where he could feel it most. Eddie noticed, he always notices. 

“I don’t wanna break the moment, but we’re gonna be super late to Mr.Clark’s so…” Lucas rushed, pushing Will and Dustin out of the way. 

They left laughing, as they usually did. 

Dustin mouthed an I told you to Robin, which made her think of the perfect excuse. 

“Look, we’ve agreed to go out to the Robinson’s this Friday, come by, she’ll be there.” Robin tried to sound non-chalant, but Eddie could tell how the prospect made her happy and excited. He just nodded, before heading off to a different class. “Munson!” 

“I’ll think about it, Buckley!”

-

He had done nothing but think about it. 

But you were oblivious to it all. 

You were dancing, closer to the corner of the room where the record player was, closely eyeing Steve’s failed attempts to get a couple of new numbers. 

You listened closely, the honeyed words he let out, choosing what he said, when to ruffle his hair, when to laugh and when to stare. It was mesmerizing, seeing him try this hard. It was equally funny to comment with him after they left. 

You heard as Steve asked for her number, and were actually shocked once she gave it to him. A crumpled up piece of paper with watery black ink. 

She left, looking back with a soft smile, while Steve very deliberately ruffled his hair.

“Yeah, she’s not the one.” You whispered as you bumped his chest with the side of your head. He threw his arm on top of your head before holding it tightly, a half embrace you were used to by now. 

“Absolutely not.” Steve whispered back in your ear, his true smile now on his lips. “But she’ll be a fun ride.” 

“Ride?” You questioned looking back and forth from him to the girl that had now a frown on her face as soon as she saw him close to you. You shook your head in an attempt to reassure her, somehow. “I doubt she can give you a piggyback ride.” 

“Only if I’m lucky.” He winked at you, making you realise what he meant, earning a well deserved slap on his chest. 

“Gross” 

You both laughed, he twirled you around before starting to look around the room once again. 

You tried endlessly to change his opinion, you reminded him how maybe, just maybe, if you started going out on other towns, maybe even into the city, he’d see more beautiful girls. He half joked about it, how he would start his second round soon, how you might be right. 

You looked at your empty cup, and he just nodded. You found your way to the kitchen aisle. 

You felt a stare somewhere you couldn’t quite place.

Eddie was frozen in place. You were right there, looking for a bottle opener, mouthing a never stopping river of “sorry” to every single person that bumped into you. He thought he had his opening then, his old, beat-up keychain that functions as one could be the answer. 

He remained astonished by you once again, as he watched carefully how you positioned the bottle diagonally against the table, the cap gracing the corner, and with a sharp strike against the edge of the wooden surface the red bottle cap was now on the floor. 

He grew more intrigued by you. 

He stayed where he was, thinking how to introduce himself. 

But you were too busy making eye contact with a very nervous Robin. Who came to you dancing anxiously, her eyes trying to find something or someone. 

“What’s wrong?” You asked as soon as she was now in close distance with you. 

“Nothing, I just…” 

“Is it V?” Your eyebrows raised with concern, not wanting your friend to feel any pain. 

“No, she’s actually really nice. I just, too many people all of a sudden. Steve?” She demanded after she spun her head around once more. 

“I think he’s hitting on Linda, but we can go find him, do you want to find him?” You were frenetically speaking now. 

“No, no. It’s okay. Just, some quiet? Then we’ll come back?” She was begging. You nodded, holding your hand out. 

You knew she needed you right now. You were also not sure what exactly to do, besides being right next to her. That same feeling of someone staring at you persisted. 

Eddie broke the distance, he followed you both out. 

The paleness on Robin’s face made him forget about his feelings for a second, concern clear in his eyes. 

“Robs? You okay?” She shook her head. That’s all he needed. 

He made way, bumping first into people so you both could have an easier time walking behind him, finding a way outside, where it was quiet, and cold enough to shock your lungs. 

He took Robin’s hand out from yours, quickly nodding at you. 

You starred back. 

You watched as he took both of her hands and made her sit on the floor. You listened as he asked if she wanted to lie down for a second, at how he laughed with her when she admitted the cold felt nice on her skin. How he counted for her, Eddie asked gently “Can you breathe with me?” and then just counted to six, then to four, then to eight.

“Wizard” Robin whispered with her hand on her chest. 

“I have my moments” He continued the joke, his eyes shifting to you for a second. You with the light hitting you from the back, making you look angelic once again. “You want to come join us, angel?” 

You chuckled. The world stopped. 

You laid down next to him. 

“I’m-” 

“My brother won’t shut up about you.” 

He smiled. He enjoyed the knowledge that that phrase gave him. If Will didn’t shut up, maybe you have been as consumed by the image of him as he had been by yours. He let the moment breathe. For once in his life, he was thankful the music wasn’t loud and clear, but distant and soft. The perfect environment for him to enjoy the coldness of the ground, the sparkled black sky and your short breaths. 

He rejoiced in the silence for once, careful of the way he was breaking it. “All bad things I hope”

 He couldn’t stop grinning. 

He kept switching from the star filled black sky to your eyes. 

Somehow your eyes shone brighter. 

“Mmmh, stalking’s bad enough.” You muttered, looking back into his eyes. 

“Stalking?” Robin chirped, incorporating herself, slowly. 

“You’re back!” You celebrated, your voice a tad eager to hear hers. Eddie whipped his head fastly, from your starfilled complexion to her short-haired friend. 

stalking’s bad enough kept repeating inside his mind. Have you been aware? All of this time, you knew he was looking out for you? In every corner? In every assembly? In every possible place you might appear again? Did you notice him too in the music room? If so, why hadn’t you said anything? Why did you choose to keep playing as if he had been a ghost? 

He was the one spiraling now. 

But as soon as he looked back at you, and your dumbfounded smile he couldn’t help but grin at himself. You radiated light. Comfort. Goodness. 

How could he be inside his head doubting anything when you were there? 

“Can we find Steve?” Robin’s words were polite, careful and with a hint of shame you couldn’t quite place. You just nodded, holding her hand again in a reassuring gesture. 

“Of course.” You quickly glanced back at Eddie. The tall curly haired guy intrigued you in more ways you could rationalise in that instant. “Coming?” 

“Gladly.” 

You let them talk. Will has told you how Eddie talks, he starts with a miniscule thing, something nobody notices, and goes on and on and on. You were enjoying him, and his voice. Especially his voice, and the way it envelops you. It’s not too harsh and it’s not too slow either, it has a perfect tempo and colour. Then again, you remember the begging your younger brother had done for you to drive them to a musty bar because he was singing. You assumed he’d be off tune, sang too fast, screamed too much. 

But you doubted yourself now. 

His voice was fit for the most beautiful notes.

Even as he spoke it already sounded like a song.

You couldn’t help but smile quietly to yourself. 

As soon as Robin found Steve she ran at his arm, begging for an ear that’d understand the way she was feeling. Unrequired love wasn’t new to him, and right now, even if Robin trusted the both of you deeply, he needed his friend. 

You nodded, with your usual smile. You understood. 

Eddie took advantage of the moment, trying to answer his previous questions. 

“Hey, what did you mean before?” 

“What’re you talking about?” You asked as you found your way back to the cold beers. 

“Stalking?” He reminded you, his head tilted ever so slightly to the right, a bit lower than before. 

“Well, you did.” The honestly fell out of you. Eddie tried hard not to grin at the way he was once again enamored by the way you chose to open the beer bottle. “The door was wide open, you know?” 

“You saw me?” 

“Of course I did Munson, you’re kind of hard not to notice.” 

“Why didn’t you say anything?” He genuinely could not understand what went into your head. He needed to know exactly what you thought. 

“I was busy.” 

“You were playing piano.” His eyes opened a bit wider, closing the distance between the both of you a bit more. If you asked it was because the music was a bit too loud, but deep down you already knew it was something more. 

“Yeah. I was busy.” 

“It’s piano.” He added, reaching for a beer, his arm softly gracing yours. 

“It was Zeppelin.” You clarified. “And it’s hard to come up with the arrangements.” 

“You’re lying.” He challenged with a grin that made you bite your lower lip for a second too long.

“Why would I be lying?” Your pitch was higher, trying to not sound as offended as you might become. 

“There’s no way you just came up with the arrangements for tangerine” He mocked, choosing not to believe you. 

You slapped his chest in a playful manner. Electricity. Warmth. A need for more. 

“I had to. I wanted to understand how they wrote it.” You defended yourself, taking a big swig from the cold bottle. 

“Do you do this for every song?” Eddie’s voice was as hypnotising as he had become with you. He could listen to you talk for a very long time, he decided. 

“Only the good ones.” 

The sparkling on your eyes came back the moment they made eye contact with him. The grin on his face didn’t leave for the rest of the night. 

-

Time moved fast. 

It had to be because of him. And the fast paced conversation. 

You were trying to make him realise that Fleetwood Mac has some of the most impressive canonical arrangements you had ever heard. He was trying to get you to admit that Metallica was a smidge better in that category. 

 It was a beautiful back and forth that only made sense to both of you. 

You eventually found your way back outside, with a couple more stolen beers for you. The sharp cold felt good in contrast to your flashing cheeks. The tip of your nose was just as rosy as they were, Eddie became lost with your complexion. He realised he could memorise every inch of your face if he only had the time. 

You were intoxicating. 

Meanwhile, Eddie made you have that feeling, right before you jump into the abyss. The same feeling you had when you were little and were getting into a rollercoaster, that grasping for the unknown. The curiosity and the need to know more. 

You could drown in him. 

It took both of you a while but after the distant music stopped, you realised you were the last ones standing. 

You shared a quick glance before bursting with laughter. It filled your chest and ignited your skin at the same time, the sound of his laughter. 

“I should start walking then” You finally let out, your eyes lost in the short space that separated both of your hands on the grass, a whisper away from each other. 

It surprised you how badly you wanted them to touch. 

“Walking?” Eddie flinched, his eyebrows raising while his head tilted towards yours. 

“Yeah. Steve’s gone.” You nodded at the empty space left from Steve’s beeper. 

“So?” 

“I’m not gonna bother Jonathan. He’s probably getting it on with Nance…And my mom needs some rest so…” You slurred your words on some short occasions. People wouldn’t notice, but he did. You were also smiling a bit wider than before. Maybe it was the alcohol, maybe it was because everything seemed out of focus but Eddie and his smile. 

That damn smile. 

You heard the rattle of keys in Eddie's pocket before he started speaking. “As If I’m gonna let you walk all that way.” He stood up before continuing. “Come” His hand reached out for you to hold. 

You didn’t expect it to be as soft. There was a roughness in some places if you had any doubts before, now you knew he worked with his hands. But the back of his hand, where your fingers rested, was softer than promised. You couldn’t help but draw circles on it, sending warmth through both of your bodies.

You didn’t have to talk.

“You don’t have to, y’know?” You pointed out as you reached his van. Your free hand resting in the door handle. 

You both felt comfortable.

You both enjoyed this feeling.

You both felt somehow more complete now that your hands knew one another.

“I know. I want to.” He responded with three quick squeezes to your hand. 

You were left with a shy smile on your lips while he circled the van to climb on the driver seat. 

It was a comfortable kind of silence, the one that formed between the both of you while he drove. He stopped drinking long ago, in hopes of this moment occurring. The perfect excuse to drive you home, to make sure you were safe. He turned down the usual loud music just so you could keep talking, if you wanted to. 

He gladly listened when you told him which way to go. It made his heart skip a beat, knowing that you lived as close to the forest as you did. That you were a short walk away from him. 

Once the car stopped, you moved your whole body to face him. 

There was a quiet understanding between the both of you, words were unnecessary for once. Your eyes couldn’t, wouldn’t leave his lips, and the way they curved upwards. His eyes couldn’t stop staring at the way yours glowed with hope. He also wondered what your kiss would taste like. 

“I should…” You started muttering as your hand reached for the door handle. 

“I uh…” Eddie talked at the same time as you did, causing both of you to chuckle. His hands held yours one more time. “I would, I want to kiss you.” 

He declared avoiding your eyes. 

Your smile was wider than ever before. You secretly wanted those words to leave his mouth, hearing them was the closest thing you could get to heaven on earth. It gave you away before you could formulate the right words. 

“You can” You admitted, your voice soft. 

Eddie shook his head, bringing your hand to his lips. Leaving a warm kiss on the back of it. That need, that electricity grew stronger. 

“Thank fuck.” He giggled, before leaving another one on the same spot. “But I'd rather do it when you’re not drunk.” 

You nodded, your fingers drawing circles once again on the back of his hand. A soft gesture that let him know how much that short gesture meant to you. 

“When will you kiss me?” You begged, your voice barely above a whisper. 

Fuck. You were going to make him lose his mind. 

“I’ll pick you up tomorrow?” He answered, his words melting as he did so. 

“Please” You begged once again, finally opening the door. 

Eddie watched carefully waiting for you to reach the wooden door. You waved goodbye with a shy smile, pushing your hair behind your ear in a nervous tick. 

You waited for the van to leave and headed to your bedroom, with the excitement of a newly made promise; unbreakable and undeniable. 

-

Guilt consumed you. 

It was worse, you had to lie to Wayne, you had to lie to the only person that knew him as much as you did, that cared for him as much as you did. 

You buried an empty coffin a couple of weeks ago. 

And all you had was an old shirt of his, and his guitar pick necklace you had once gifted him. 

Your hands closed around it, one last tear falling down as you did so. I miss you, i’m sorry were the only thoughts running through your mind. 

After a long time of just thinking, your eyes vacant and your thoughts going a bit too fast. As soon as Robin came to check on you once again, she knew where you were headed off to. 

The mix he had made you was still in your car, playing his music as if he was next to you. If you concentrated enough, you could still hear him sing them, in his usual chaotic goofy voice and tone he always used to get you to laugh, though if he was being sirius or was in his own little world he actually had a beautiful voice, an angelical one if you were the one listening. 

A weird combination of crying and laughter was now consuming you, as you finally parked your car in the same spot you had for the last few weeks. 

It was a weird feeling, you became more yourself the closer you walked to his grave, the closer you came to seeing his name carved in stone, the fuller you felt, as if he was walking beside you. 

The wind rustled in the leaves, as birds stopped singing, the sun still shining, your skin soaking it in, your puffy eyes squinting harder because of it. 

It was a very scenic moment, you thought as you sat down in front of the carved stone. 

“Hey Moon.” You whispered with a heavy heart. The stinging coming back to the back of your head as you looked at the faded graffiti you had cleaned yesterday. “I brought you a bit of music, I thought you might like it.” You fumbled through your bag, trying to find the little portable cassette player you had saved up for, that he had drawn in the back of with one of his markers. EM was here could still be seen in a faint white ink. “I finally got you the Metallica cassette you wanted.” You half smiled, trying not to break down again. 

The first guitar notes from the song battery filled the air, you let your body hit the ground right as the bass started, your feet stomping at the melody. 

“You’d love to play the guitar solo of this one.” You teased him, mumbling to the sky, your eyes closed, your body relaxing a bit more. 

The little portable player was starting to make that funny noise it had been making for the last couple of days, that dirty interference that made you angry every time, interrupting your time, it only infuriated you more now that you were here, trying to be close to him once more. Your arm reached to it, your eyes yet unopened, spanking it a bit, hopeful that it would go away. 

It didn’t. 

It started going in and out of focus, as if something was tampering with it, or water had crawled in, making the switch to the next song sound as if it was coming from deep underwater, as if a wave had just engulfed the speaker. 

“Fuck’s sake.” You complained through gritted teeth, grabbing it and holding it up, wiggling it a bit. As you did, the muffled sound went away, and the thing that should not be started playing. 

You lowered the volume, and let the speaker sit next to your ear, letting it sing only for you. 

It didn’t give you any trouble for a while, until it started acting up again. This time, the volume went up and down. At first you thought it was random, until you started paying attention. It seemed like a message, and grief invaded you enough to make you believe impossible things. 

Your shaking hands grabbed it, pulling it a top of your lap, looking back at where his name was carved before whispering “Don’t fuck with me” as you played the backwards button. Letting the song start from the beginning once again. “I swear to god Eddie if you’re fucking with me I’ll kill you again.” You spat as you mumbled angrily at the air, hoping to be right. 

To your astonished surprise, it seemed to work. 

The volume went up, as if it was a code, as if he was screaming. If you were honest, you could feel him screaming and yelling the lyrics in that chaotic voice you learned to love and miss. 

The very first word of the song spiked up messenger, it felt obvious enough, though it could just be a dumb coincidence. lurking beneath the sea made the volume go up, lowering immediately after it. You kept listening, writing it on the sketch pad you always carried in your bag. 

Once the song ended, the previous blank paper had sparesed lyrics over it. 

It read a confusing mess that you had to bring to Dustin as soon as possible. You recited it over and over again while you were speeding on the car. 

The motor of your car was louder with every gear shift you made, the little orange arrow in your speedometer kept rising, but you payed it no mind. In a similar manner, you didn’t care if your car skidded anytime you made a left turn, the only thing in your mind where the little words you had heard louder than the others. 

You didn’t care if your car blocked his driveway, or if the keys were still in the ignition. The bag on your left shoulder felt havier now that it was guarding the little instrument that felt magic. You hands where still shaking and you could stop fidgeting with his necklace, moving it one swipe left and two right as you made your way to Dustin’s front door, not sure what to say, not sure what to do. You were now anxiously looking down at your feet, and the way they moved through the cobblestone, the bumps that they left on your feet. 

You gathered enough courage to bang on his door. 

But he was taking a bit too long. 

Bang

He still hadn’t come down stairs. 

Bang Bang Bang Bang

“Jesus what?” He finally opened the door, the usual annoyed look on his face disappearing once he the way your lips were pressed together. 

“Upstairs, now. Code red.”

-

“Can you read it again?” Dustin asked, a pen in his own hand. 

“Messenger. Lurking beneath the sea. Forbidden site. Shadows. Underground. Fallen city, living death.” You looked at him, sharing a deep breath. “Then it repeats, Lurking beneath the sea, and ends with not dead”

Dustin stood up, pacing around his room while his hands fidgeted with the pen he had. 

“And you’re sure it worked normally before you arrived at the grave?” He inquired, his words pausing between them as he usually did when he was trying to figure out something. 

“Look I know it sounds stupid, but… I… It can’t be a coincidence.” He acknowledged just how hopeful and defeated you were, and he gifted you a smile. 

“I wanna believe it too, I just, can I hear it now?” You nodded, while you took the little player out of the bag and played the song again. It sounded crystal clear, no interference, no change in volume. “And it changed volume once you were…” 

“Yeah, I told you.” 

“We should go there, I’ll ask the others to join us there.” He grabbed the talkie while he handed you the phone, letting you call into family video, the number already dialed up. 

“Family Video this is Steve how may I help you today?” He sounded as bored as he always was, you could tell he was playing with the telephone chord. 

“Steve, can you take your break now?” Your voice was quieter than usual, and that pulled him in, you heard how his elbows hit the table, and the receiver was caught between his cheek and his shoulder. 

“Hey honey, everything okay?” His tone was sharper now, you felt the way he was measuring his words, he had become rather used to spreading kindness and handling you with care ever since you had come back, you had no time for that kind of nonsense right now. 

“Yeah, that’s why I’m asking you to skip work in the middle of the day.” Your words were coming out sharper and colder than you intended for them to. Irony stinging like a dagger. 

“A simple no would also work, y’know.” He answered, a bit hurt, but mostly worried. He knew the number was coming from Dustin’s house, and the only reason you had to go over his house was for one he didn’t dare to think about. 

Mostly because the last time you had barged in with Dustin into Family Video he ended diving into cold water, and with a few scars to remember those days by. 

“Can you take your break or not? We kinnda need both of you.” You were impatient now, you were speaking faster, snappier, quicker. 

“What the hell is going on?” You could physically see him holding the bridge of his nose, his eyes closed while he loudly breathed out into the receiver. 

“Steve! Please?” You were begging now, the frustration of wanting to let him know everything all at once, while trying to be careful to not say too much, the fear that someone might listen to you, the impotence of not being able to do enough, it was all enough to create tears that wouldn’t fall. 

“Breathe out.” He reminded you. He didn’t know what was going on, or why you seemed to be so aggravated, but he could tell that it was important enough, a sense of urgency clear in your voice. He took a second, looking at Robin while his eyebrows raised she called the ‘the decision look’ and she knew better than to oppose it. “Is this a code red?” He finally asked, wanting and needing you to say no, his head falling deeper once he heard your muffled yes. “Where are we meeting?” 

“Graveyard.” You answer quickly, the iron taste in the inside of your mouth becomes more prominent now that you are speaking again. “Pick Nance up.” You told him before hanging up. 

You gave a quick glance over your shoulder to check on Dustin. His words were fast paced, he started the second one while the first was still finishing in his mouth, he had no time to lose, which in a weird way, was reassuring for you. Someone cared as deeply as you did, it made you feel not that alone, seen in a way. 

You found your way downstairs, your feet feeling heavier and your chest tightening, a fast thought entered your mind, as it grew bigger so did the worry that accompanied it. What do we do if he is alive?

If Eddie really is alive, and he has been there, all by himself for the last weeks he must be pissed off. Not only that, as far as you remembered he was incredibly injured, so he could be right at death's door, a slip away from being actually gone. And if that was really the case, and he was bloodied, starving and a whisper away from death, you’d never forgive yourself if you didn’t at least just try, you had to try. 

But then again, that panic was shared. 

Dustin did not talk while you drove. He didn’t complain while you smoked one of his cigarettes that he had left on your glove compartment, he limited himself to stay still, biting his thumb as a response to the nervousness that was now deep inside his body. 

You parked where you had a mere hour ago, and the birds sang until you found your way next to his gravestone. You looked at Dustin, needing reassurance, he just nodded. Weirdly enough, you were both in a lost for words. 

You sat in silence, looking at his name with clear sandness in both of your faces, you hid a whimper, culpability making its way into your body. 

“I feel insane.” You confessed as you buried your face into the palm of your hands. Needing just a second to process it all. 

“You’re not the only one.” Dustin added, looking back as soon as he heard a familiar car pull into the secluded place you both were, he gave you a soft pad on your shoulder, his head nodding to it so you’d look. 

Steve emerged from the burgundy car, closely followed by Robin, Nancy and Jonathan.

Robin’s eyebrows were raised in concern as she ran to where you were, she wasn’t a fiscal touch person, but lately she had been giving you hugs every chance she had, and this time it was no different. It felt familiar, a sense of reassurance you desperately needed. 

“What’s going on?” She whispered into your ear, pulling away slowly, looking deep into your eyes. You waited for the other three to make their way up hill, Nancy’s knuckles were white with how much strength she was holding Jonathan’s hand. 

“He’s alive.” Is all you could bring yourself to say, before breaking down. 

You weren’t even sure why you were crying this time, maybe it just felt good to say it outloud, maybe it was just too much to manage, or maybe you just needed to relise your bottled up emotions. It didn’t matter. 

Nancy’s eyes widened, as Jonathan looked at her, not really understanding why you’d say that. Meanwhile, Steve’s arms crossed in front of his chest, he was having a hard time following you. 

“What are you talking about?” Steve’s voice was not only lower, his tone had never been as serious, not a trace or irony or sarcasm in them. 

“Dustin?” You plead for help, you didn’t think you could manage to explain it all again. Your hands were busy fidgeting with the cassette player, tracing over the speaker, wishing that it would happen again. 

“She uh… Well…” Dustin was having a hard time, the possibility that you might be right was a bit overpowering for him. 

“I came over, and played him the new record.” You gestured to the empty cassette case with the white crosses on it, Robin picked it up and looked at it closely, smiling in that that’s sweet way that she does when she finds something charming. “And uh…” 

“She says that the cassette player started going wild, the volume going up and down by itself, interference, water sound in it. But we played it again at my house and it sounds perfectly clear. And well… The words that were actually louder were like a call for help and if we look at this logically-” Steve cut the explanation that Dustin had started, a crease in the middle of his forehead. 

“That’s insane. You’re seeing things where there are none.” He exclaimed, gesturing wildly with his hands. 

“Steve…” Robin pleaded calmly, her eyes asking for him to consider the situation. 

“It’s not!” You screamed. You needed them to understand, weirder things had happened to all of you in the last couple of years, this was nothing new. “Will was able to communicate with you!” You looked at Jonathan now, trying to make him understand, trying to win him to your side of the argument. 

“Yeah but… He actually… It was his voice.” Jonathan mumbled, trying really hard to believe what you were saying, trying to see your side of the story, but the look of desperation on your face was too close to Joyce’s, and that gave him a bad feeling in his stomach. 

“He’s alive.” You repeated, looking back at the way his name was carved into the gray stone, how long it took you to be able to accept it, and how it hopefully would be destroyed, as if it never had happened. “And he’s down there, alone, injured and with no strength, do you really think he’s going to start chatting?” With every word you said your tone became higher and higher. 

“Look, there is no way he’s alive…” Steve’s voice sounded defeated as he crouched down, closer to your eye level as you were still sitting down at the floor. “We all saw him down there, bloodied and… I get that you want him back, but you shouldn’t make it our problem.” his cheeks were red, as the vein in his left temple became bigger with every breath he took. 

“Your problem?” That made you lose it, it was one thing to not believe you, it was an entirely different thing to call you crazy and accuse you of being delusional. “You were the last one out, if he is alive, it’s your fault.” It had been like poison, hearing you say such things. You knew far too well that you were hurting him, his lips were pressed against each other, his left hand holding on thigh to his arm. 

“Guys…” Robin tried to calm you both down, exchanging looks between the both of you, knowing full well this could blow everything up. Knowing that pain can be spread around faster than any disease. 

But before she could say anything else, her ears perked up, as she heard the way the wind was rustling through the trees, she was a bit too sensitive to these kinds of things, over vigilant after everything she had seen. 

“That’s way out of line…” Steve whispered, with clear guilt creeping in through his voice. “You know that if I could trade it… You know I don’t…” He was truly at a loss for words, not being sure what he could say, an extremely defeated expression rested on his face, his eyes avoiding eye contact with yours, looking at the ground, and the way the grass moved thanks to the wind. 

“Guys!” Robin screamed at all of you now, as she picked out a rusting coming deep and low from the little player you were still holding. 

Silence broke through all of you, as you looked down and started hearing the beginning of a song you hadn’t hit play for, the red light that usually shined bright when it was on was absent from it. 

“Did you–?” Dustin started to ask, you shook your head, as a hopeful smile invaded your lips. 

You went quiet, looking down at it, a guitar solo started, before you heard the tape playing backwards until the last phrase of the song was found, volume creeping louder and louder reaching out again could be heard from it, you let out a chuckle, a nervous giggle that went around the group as everyone had now experienced what had happened to you. 

“What song is that?” Nancy asked directly at you, her face still in clear shock, mouthing the first words since she got here. 

“Welcome home” You mutter, with glee in your eyes. “He is here.” You tell her, knowing that she fully believes you, by the way fear was creeping into her body. 

“That could just be a coincidence…” Steve was still cautious, not wanting to fully give in. If he did, that meant that you were right, and that he left him for dead, and he couldn’t handle the guilt that came with it. 

“Eddie!” Dustin started screaming, directly into the little player that you would not let go of, repeating his name with urgency. “Buddy, are you really there?” 

“It’s changing again.” Robin pointed out, as her fingers traced a pattern on your leg, reassuring you that this was actually happening. 

It was exactly as it had happened a few moments ago, when you were by yourself, as if water had creeped inside, mumbled and far away it sounded as the song changed to another one, before becoming crystal clear to your ears. The heavy thumping of the guitars starting again, quieting down before abruptly going up once the lyrics Twenty-one, only son, but he served us well could be heard. 

You were tearing up now, and you weren’t even capable of hiding it any longer. 

But panic came quick once you heard the next highlighted set of words. 

Finished here, greeting death, he’s yours to take away

“What’s this one called?” Jonathan asked this time, his head whipping fastly from Nancy to you. 

“Disposable Heroes.” 

-

You wasted no time. 

Dustin held on tight to his car seat every time your foot pressed the accelerator, everytime you swerved the car you could feel him holding his breath just for him to release it in a nervous manner. 

They were all gathered around Steve's kitchen table, arguing over themselves. 

You weren’t all there, the only thing going over your head was him, and the promise of actually being able to hear his voice once again. 

Your foot kept on tapping the ground, a repetitive pattern that you weren’t able to stop, your hand still playing with his necklace. The chatter of them talking was overwhelming you, they were wasting time and that was infuriating. They were arguing, and you were frozen in the spot. They kept talking and you remained quiet. 

Nancy sat down next to you, she still hadn’t said anything either. 

Her hand traveled to yours, a top of your thigh. She squeezes your hand, you knew it was her way of telling you i’m here, i’m sorry. 

“They’re wasting time.” You finally whispered, your voice hoarse, a trace of sadness in it. 

“I don’t think I can go back.” She said at the same time, a trace of guilt in hers. 

“You shouldn’t.” You reassured her, not only with your calm voice, but with the same squeeze she gave to your hand, now on her’s. You didn’t have to tell her that you planned on going alone, she had already noticed. 

“You can’t.” She finally looked at you, deep into your eyes. You noticed the way her eye twitched before shaking his head. “We barely made it out of there, there’s no way you’ll make it by yourself, and having to carry Eddie or…” 

“His body?” She snorted a laugh, trying hard not to giggle, thought the nervous laughter got you too. “This has to be one of the most insane days…” She nodded while you both laughed, catching your breath before she talked. 

“I’m watching over you, I’ll stand at the gate. That I can do.” she stood there for a second longer, her lips pursed in that shy smile she usually gave people, the ones she actually cares about. 

“Thanks Nance…” You let go of her hand, to give her a playful bump on her shoulder. She nodded as she saw you finally stand up. 

Robin looked at you with curious eyes, as she saw you finally leaving the couch. She watched in a quiet manner as she saw you grab the car keys and put them in your pocket, and how you looked around as you put your hair up in a messy ponytail, bumps caused by shaky fingers. She only put her hand around Steve’s arm, her eyes still trained on you, once she saw you pocketing the vodka bottle and the old rag to light it up. 

Steve looked at Robin first, following her eyesight until she saw you, trying to not look suspicious as the rag poked out of the pocket of your brown leather jacket. 

You knew you were being caught as soon as you heard the sudden silence. 

“Woah, woah, hey…Where do you think you’re going?” Steve pointed out, one hand on his waist as the other one gesticulated widely. Confusion and worry evident in the way he spoke, his voice coming up and down like a rollercoaster. 

“What do you think?” The frustration was clear in the way you not only looked back at him, but in the way your words sting. “You’re wasting time…” You were now defeated, your hands now buried deep into your jacket pockets, fingers playing around with what you had in them, a way of distracting yourself. 

“We’re not.” Dustin tried to make a point, though his furrowed brows read as sadness. “We need a plan, so we’re just trying to come up with one…”

“What plan? We go in, Nancy guards the door, we get him, we come back.” Your shoulders scrunch up as you simplified it all, their eyes switched from you to Nancy, who was still sat down at the sofa, a bit tenser than when you were beside her. 

“Nance, you’re not coming?” Steve inquired, his whole body turning to face her from a distance. 

“I… I can’t…” Her eyes crystalised as shock emanated from her body. 

“She doesn’t have to, I’ll be with her, we’ll keep watch. Right?” Jonathan jumped in, reassuring Nancy, as Steve took a step back. “You’re not leaving my sight.” He whispered in her ear once he got by her side, their foreheads touching. 

You smiled to yourself, a sweet moment between them. The world stopped for them, you could tell, and that’s exactly what you were craving right now, and worrying you might never get back. 

“Fine, but we still don’t know how to get in.” Steve added, his arms flexing in front of his chest as he shook his head in defeat. 

“Watergate.” You mutter. 

“You’re insane.” Robin snapped as soon as she heard you, pausing in between words. “Even if we did manage to get down there and it was still open, how do you plan on coming back with him? What if there’s more rabies infected bats around? What if you get stuck there this time? We need to find another gate!” She was now talking in full speed, cascading words as her thoughts entered her mind. 

“So we go to the woods!” You whine, frustration and impatience invade you once more. 

“The woods?” Steve asked. 

“She’s right.” Dustin added, his eyes finally leaving the ground shining as they did so. “Vecna killed Patrick and that created Watergate, so maybe there’s a gate near Fred’s death, like the one in the trailer…”

“What?” You questioned him as you saw him losing the train of thought. “We go to the woods and we get in and out, what’s wrong?” 

“We killed Vecna, so the upside down should be collapsing since he isn’t alive and isn’t there to power it so…” He continued as he thought out loud. 

“So what?” Steve asked as his voice went higher in tone. 

“So it’s crumbling down.” Dustin pointed out as if it was overly obvious. 

“So we have to go, now.” You said at the same time, heading to the door, no time to waste. 

You heard their footsteps following you as you found your way to your car, you were finally getting somewhere.

-

You thought you would feel relieved once you saw you were right, what you weren’t expecting was your jaw to clench at the sight of the hidden gate. 

It wasn’t big, it was small and weak. 

The same thing that happened back in the graveyard started again. The wind picked up, hollowing through the trees replacing the chirping of the birds. 

“Take care.” Nancy said with a trembling voice, while her hand was holding tightly with Jonathan’s. 

Steve’s grip on his bat changed, firm and steady now, before twisting it a bit, readjusting it so he’d be more comfortable. Dustin’s hands fidgeted with the end of his jacket, patting his pockets checking once again that he wasn’t missing anything. 

“If we’re not here in an hour, check in with El, she’s with the others guarding Max, but she should be able to…” Dustin recalled for the hundredth time, going over the plan he had been yelling about in the car drive over here. 

“Yeah, one hour. Got it.” Jonathan nodded as he spoke, waving bye as you stepped in. 

You just pressed your lips as you heard him. 

If you only had an hour, you had to make it count. And it had to start now. 

You had never just walked into the upside down. You had always fallen into it, so you didn’t have time to actually feel the veil breaking as your skin found its way in, the viscosity of the red hue, and the dryness that could be felt immediately after that. Your eyes slowly adjusted to the lack of colour and light, as you became hypervigilant, looking up at the sky before the others found their way. 

Nothing. 

There was absolutely nothing there. 

A cloudless sunless grey sky welcomed you, with no thunder or lightning. 

If anything, that nothingness was just more unnerving. 

Every step they made echoed through, and made you look around, hoping to find something that would make you keep your hopes up. 

You agreed on walking to the graveyard, if there was nothing there, you’d find your way to the trailer park and go back. 

“Something’s weird.” Steve pointed out, as he looked around. 

“Not weird, decaying.” You added, nodding to a grey crumbled up vine. The hole in it seemed to get deeper and bigger by the second. 

“Quiet.” Robin said, as she looked up. “There’s no bats, no thunder either.” 

“You can still trip though.” You told her as you held her from stepping into a fallen tree branch. 

You walked, you weren’t really sure for how long, yet she was right, it was oddly beautiful now. A stuck in time version of Hawkins where nothing seemed to change, where everything looked as if it was straight out of an antique photograph you had found hidden in a cupboard. 

You could see the iron gate from the cemetery, the bars on it starting to fold down, as if they were wilting flowers of an old bouquet. You felt as you collectively held in your breath. 

It wasn’t long after that that you started hearing someone yelling unintelligible things. 

While you were slowly making your way in, Eddie lied there. 

He was right where you thought he’d be -unaware that you were near him- an empty space between gravestones, his body falling into the floor, exhausted from getting there, starving and malnourished. He had been talking nonsense for a while, he started whispering it into the heavens, until now, his voice was loud, and even if he didn’t intend to, panic found its way in it. 

“Just one more song? Please? I need to know you’re there. I’ll sing along again if you want!” He had been looking at the void in the sky for a long time, he wasn’t sure if it had been an hour or two, to be honest, it felt like he had been there for days. “C’mon baby, please? Just a bit more, a guitar solo, or just… your voice would be nice…” He started begging now, pleading with some force he didn’t quite believe in for something that would indicate you’re there, near. “For fuck sake! I know I’ll die here, at least you could play some music while I do so!” Themix of desperation and tiredness was now getting into him, he looked at his hands and realised how his rings looked bigger, then now danced and moved with more ease. “Or just… Maybe if you light one up?” 

At the same time, you started hearing his screams, and you started picking up the pace, running through the maze of granite carved stones, with different names and dates. 

Dustin was the first to start screaming his name, while you just focused on running near where the voice came from. 

You’d know it was him even if you hadn’t heard him in thirty years. 

Adrenaline came over your body, so you rushed until your legs stopped, all of a sudden once you saw him. 

He was there, his hand on his stomach, where blackened stains in his shirt layed wrinkled. 

He was there, his hair laid perfectly still in a careful knotted mess. 

He was there, his chest raised up and down as he breathed. 

He was there, and he was alive. 

“Moon…?” The nickname you had for him fell from your lips, your tone shaking as you still couldn’t believe it. 

He slowly stood up, a grin of discomfort from pain evident in his face. He looked at you, his eyes barely opening up. He was still sitting on the ground, you felt your lips curving upwards as relief invaded you, seeing him smiling at you in recognition. 

“Eddie?!” Dustin screamed as he ran up to him, falling to his knees as he hugged him, his head hitting his chest, Eddie’s arms slowly wrapped around his body. “I thought I… We lost you…”  His voice was muffled, still you could tell he had started crying. 

“I thought I lost you too.” Eddie’s voice trembled as he looked directly at you. His eyes crystalised once he saw the first tear jump from your eyes. 

You felt Robin’s hand on your shoulder, a thigh squeeze letting you know it was real. He was okay, and you were getting him back. 

She nodded, letting you know it was okay if you wanted to interrupt.

You walked slowly to him, the back of your hand wiping away your tears. You let your body hit the floor, you couldn’t keep your eyes off of him. 

“Hi” You whispered as soon as you were a breath away from him. 

“Hi” He gleamed back as soon as he got you close. 

“You’re okay?” You asked, as your voice quivered, desperate to hear him again, talking directly to you. 

“Yeah, I’m okay.” He nodded as a trembling hand found the back of your neck. 

Dustin smiled before stepping back, leaving you both alone for a moment, a much needed moment. 

You gave in, melting into his arms. You were both crying quietly now, his hands stroking your hair politely, afraid that you were nothing but a mirage, while yours held on thigh to him, scared that you would cause him pain from needing that close. 

“You scared me to death.” You half joked as you chuckled through the crying. 

“I’m the one dying.” He added on to the joke, his lips finally kissing your temple, drinking your perfume in as he did so. 

“Shut it.” You shake your head as you slowly pull back, your hand now cupping his cheek, as your thumb slowly graces the high points of his cheekbone. “I’m getting you home.” 

You thought about kissing him, your lips touching his, melting completely under his touch. But once he leaned in to do so you saw how blood stained his shirt again, your eyes darted from his as you looked down, the red growing wider by the second. 

Fear invaded your body again, a sense of urgency creeping over both of you. 

“Yeah, we should really go” He grunted through gritted teeth. 

-

It had been a blur. 

Nancy grabbed your car keys from your hand, as you helped Eddie inside the car, sitting on the back with him. Cradling him as you talked to him, trying to keep him calm even if you were panicking deep inside. 

Steve arrived at his house before you, opening the door wide open, Robin helping you bring Eddie in. 

They were downstairs now, phoning Hopper, and El and finally Wayne. 

Steve’s bedroom guest had a big window where sun creeped in, a soft breeze helping him cool off as cold sweat dripped from his forehead. You helped him lay on the soft mattress sitting next to him carefully. 

You had enough supplies hidden under the bed, you knew you could stitch him up enough so he would stop hurting, you had enough experience patching people up. 

“Can you take your shirt off?” You asked him with a slight raise of your eyebrows. 

“You already want me naked?” He joked. He tended to do that when he got nervous. You tilted your head as you bent over so you could take the little box full of supplies out of underneath the bed. He chuckled once he saw the box in your hands. He started trying to take his jacket off, with a grunt in his face he shook his head. “I might need help.” He admitted, a grunt on the back of his throat. 

“Thought so.” You muttered under your breath. 

You scootched over to him, your trembling hands becoming steadier as they found the neck of his jacket, pulling it down slowly. At first, Eddie moved, tried to help. Once he felt your hands against his arms however, he stood still, his eyes not letting go of you, and the way your hands moved with such carefulness and tenderness. 

The tips of your fingers were now in between his skin and his shirt, soaked in dirt and blood. 

You looked at him before pulling it up, he nodded, his eyelids halved opened, a cautious smile in his lips. He sucked to his teeth as his skin separated from the stiff cloth, your fingers brushed his abdomen with care, avoiding to trace his skin as soon as you saw the grin of discomfort he had on his lips. His arms ached once they were up in the air, the shirt falling off of them slowly. 

“It looks worse than I thought.” Eddie grunted as he finally looked down. You guided his torso against the cushions that were prepped up, his hand lingered to your arms, the tip of his fingers burrowing into your skin. 

“I’ll clean it up, I’m sure it’s not that bad.” You tried to play it off, a kind smile curved your lips upwards, a little gesture he imitated. 

“You must really like me” He started in a soft whisper. “You keep lying trying to make it all better.” 

You laughed it off, a short chuckle coming out of him. You started soaking the cotton swab with alcohol, the odor of it filling the small gap between the both of you. 

“You know I do.” He smiled in a soft manner, his teeth showing as he tilted his head. “Ready?” 

“Yeah.” 

You smiled kindly before starting to clean his wounds. They were as if someone ripped and crumpled a paper sheet. They weren’t deep, just repetitive bite and claw marks over the same spot. The big one was on his lower abdomen, another one near his collarbone, a gash on his neck. His arms were full of scratches and deep cuts you had to keep clean. 

He didn’t complain. He just let you do whatever you thought you had to, deep down he knew that if he let you take care of him, you’d feel better. And if he was being honest with himself, he enjoyed you dotting and caring for him, you knew it was because he won’t trust anyone else but you. 

“You know you could just wait for Hopper to come right? He’ll probably make me go to a hospital or something.” He whispered in an attempt to get you to look back at him, his eyes not leaving yours. 

“I know, I just…” 

“I’m okay.” He started, reassuring you, trying to get you to stop overcleaning the same spot on his chest. “Hey.” You kept overdoing it, a blank look on your face. “Darling, please…” He begged now, the way his lips said the nickname snapping you out of it. 

“I thought you were dead.” You crumbled down, nervous tears threatening to jump out, your lips quivering as you started to talk. “I thought you were gone, Moon…” 

“I’m not.” He reached out, his hand finally holding yours. “You really think it’s going to be that easy? You’re not getting rid of me.” 

“I buried you… Well there was nothing in there but… I just.”

“I know, I heard you and Wayne talking.” He confessed, his eyes changing, now they were full of melancholy, and a hint of guilt. “I’m sorry by the way…” 

“What the fuck are you on?” The words fell right out of your lips, tilting your head as your tone went higher. 

“I just… I heard you crying. Begging and all that. I’m sorry I almost died and I’m sorry I didn’t tell you everything I wanted to, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I loved you before, I’m sorry I left I-” You interrupted him, as soon as you heard the big word. Your hand tightening around his. 

“You do?” 

“I do what?” He tried to brush it off, the confession had fallen out of his mouth without him thinking too much about it. 

“Love me?” You were embarrassed by how hopeful you sound. His free hand travelled to your cheek, slowly stroking it as he looked deeply into your eyes, falling deeply into them. 

You gave in, your head now resting in the palm of his hand, he slowly pulled you closer to him. Finally closing the distance between the both of you, slowly, then all at once. His lips met yours, a smile appearing on both of them. It was a careful kiss, a needy and soft kiss. It said more things than you both could ever tell eachother. His lips begged for yours to never leave him again, to let him stay by your side. Yours were yelling for him to be patient, and let you love him in a quiet and slow manner. 

You pulled away slowly, your forehead touching his. 

You both knew each other understood. Still, he whispered low enough for you to barely hear him, right before you were interrupted by the door opening. “Of course I do.” 

“Happy you’re back kid.” Hopper’s voice interrupted the both of you, moving your heads so you could look at him. “I’m sorry but you’ll have to answer a couple of questions, then go to the hospital”

“Stay?” Eddie asked, a promise in his voice. 

“Yes. For as long as you let me.” 

He kissed the tip of your nose, before talking again. 

Your hair was out of your face with a high ponytail, which you couldn’t stop messing up every five seconds. Your tongue was constantly going over your teeth, in case some of the red lipstick Nancy begged for you to apply found its way there. You felt a bit ridiculous, especially since Steve couldn’t take his eyes off you, and every time you caught him he’d shake his head with that short laugh that was characteristic of him. You hate to admit it, but he looked good. Intentionally good. His hair was always well kept, so seeing it fall a bit in the center caught your attention as soon as he opened the door to his house. The blue button-up shirt made him look like a real grown-up, he didn’t seem like he was wearing a costume, it really looked like he dressed up. You didn’t have the same sensation when you looked in the mirror, black was always your comfort colour, but that skin thigh dress was a bit too there for you. “You look hot.” Was the first thing that escaped Eddie’s lips as soon as he saw you coming through the door, handing you his half smoked cigarette which you accepted with a nod. “You don’t look too bad” You answered quickly. He laughed as he shook his head. It was his usual, black jeans with some washed-up shirt. Only this time he had a wool jumper that he was holding with his arm as soon as he saw you looking with your eyebrows furrowed he added “Nancy wants me to dress up nice” You chuckled as you passed by. Steve’s eyes looking in your figure. 

But that was before. 

You were all sat on the table now, and the food was coming out slowly. Jonathan had a big pan on his hands which he proudly announced was his roasted chicken, with some potatoes that smelled of rosemary and heaven. Nancy followed in closely with the gravy and a tray of spotted mac and cheese that made you smile. The sight of them made you remember how close they were to being actual hosts in their recently bought house. They were about to move, closer to the city, closer where Nancy would have real opportunities as a journalist, and closer to where Jonathan could feel the pressure disappear and enjoy his life taking pictures, and finally attend culinary classes, which he found out recently he enjoyed, and now you were tasting the benefits. 

“I’m so glad you’re into cooking” Robin expressed the thought everybody had at the same time. A river of soft yeses followed. 

Eddie started to serve everybody wine before he served some for himself. You sat between him and Steve, whose eyes would more often than not land on you, even if you weren’t aware of it. 

Time passed by quickly. The conversation was flowing without interruptions, little sidesteps occurred between them and you gleaned happily at the sight of your friends enjoying each other's company. Your right hand rested on your cheek, while your left found the half empty glass, bringing it to your lips. You could help but smile earnestly. These times are the ones you enjoy the most. Nancy and Jonathan having a strong argument about some nonsense with Robin and Eddie while you all laughed. It was always about the latest movie, or book, or record that came out and their opposing views on it. It was chaotic. It was heaven on earth. 

“What are you smiling about?” Steve whispered closely to your ear, leaning a bit closer. Your arms were touching now, you noticed. 

Your eyes quickly looked at him up and down, stopping where they usually stop, his pinkish lips, his beauty mark on his neck, his two day stubble and that wild hair. You fought a chuckle from escaping when you saw a glow invade his cheeks. 

“This.” You gestured with your head to your friends quickly, before returning to his eyes. “I wish this was how my Christmas looked” You whisper more to yourself than to him, but given the closeness of his body, he hears you. 

He also notices the note of melancholy in your tone. 

“Believe me, I get it.” Steve looks back at Robin, and the way she is laughing, loudly and without a concern. “I don’t feel alone with you guys.” 

“You feel alone?” You’re caught off guard by that comment. There’s concern in your voice and in the way you form a crinkle in between your brows that makes Steve smile softly. That type of smile where only one of the corners of his mouth curves upwards. 

“You know… Big house, and they always go away for Christmas.” He admits through gritted teeth, avoiding your big compassionate eyes for the first time this evening. “Not that I look up to having a painfully long quiet meal with them but… I’d be nice for a change.” 

“What are you doing for Christmas, then?” You can’t help yourself, every time Steve has a problem or seems down your first instinct is always the same what can I do. 

Eddie quietly noticed that look you had in your face. It was one of true devotion. He knew for a while, that you were developing feelings for your friend, he knew you better than anyone, and in this particular case, he knew you better than yourself. You don’t quite realise that your compassion and your feeling of melancholy is accompanied by true admiration and even a soft warm growing love. He smiled quietly to himself, his finger tapping Robin’s arm, nodding to your general direction. Robin smiled back at Eddie. They both knew at that moment, it was just a matter of time. 

Steve had his soft eyes fixated on the point of the table where your arm met his, and he was aware of the reaction it was having in his skin, the warmth it left. But neither he or you were conscious of the way your bodies faced each other, about the magnetic field you could create around the both of you. Robin couldn’t wait to nag Steve about it later. 

“I’m uh… I’ll stay here, probably watch Labyrinth or something and have some of these leftovers and go to bed.” He admitted, his soft voice interrupted by the wine falling down on his throat. 

“Well, I’d advise you to clean that shirt.” You had already made a decision. You smirked at his confused stare. 

“What's wrong with this shirt?” 

“Nothing, it’s a great shirt.” 

“Then why do I have to wash it?”

“Because you’ll have to wear it for Christmas.” 

“I’m wearing pajamas." He was confused and decided at the same time. 

“No, you’re not.” You finally let your laugh escape from your lips, which in turn made Steve’s lips curve even more. “You’re coming home, and you’ll have stuffing, and danish potatoes and pork and everything you want. You’re not staying here.” 

“I couldn’t” He was adamant to accept your offer, even if his smile was brighter than you had ever seen. “It’s your family.” He tried to argue as if it made a difference. 

“And my brother loves you more than he loves me” You added in return. “Besides, if you come my aunt Kathy won’t ask why I’m not bringing anyone.” 

“What, like a date?” He was flustered. And so were you at the idea of it. 

“She’s always asking about my love life, and I can’t really tell her that its a fucking disaster because she’ll say that’s because she swept my feet when I was little.” Steve furrowed his brown trying to hide an amazed chuckle. “Don’t ask.” 

“What, so I’m your…?” that tinge of hope filled the silence. It grew as you thought about the possible ends that sentence could have

“You’re my friend. Let her focus on your love life for a while.” You shut your moth as you drank, feeling that coldness of the wine in the back of your throat, not wanting to think of that image that came to your mind for a millisecond. 

An image of you walking holding his arm, entering your house with all the lights on, while you looked like the happiest pair, all sealed with a quick kiss that felt familiar. 

not real. You had to remind yourself as you swallowed another quick sip. 

“Are you sure?” Steve asked for confirmation, a single ounce of doubt in your tone or a flinch in your eyes and he’d know if he should leave his house. 

“Please.” You whisper back as your fingers play with the rim of your glass. A soft playful roll of your eyes makes him grin. “Anything for you, Harrington.” 

-

“Did she really say that?” Robin inquired as she whipped the leftovers of the plates on the bin. Slowly and focused on the wrong thing. 

“The eyes were the worst thing.” Eddie continued, splashing them with water before starting to clean them by hand. “You know those soft puppy eyes?” 

“The glassy kind?” Robin added before looking back at him and stiffing a laugh. “Dude, Steve’s parents are rich, use the dishwasher.” 

“Yeah– what dishwasher?” He lost his trail of thought for a moment. Robin turned around, quickly pointing to the hidden machine, reclining her body against the counter so she could continue theorizing about her friends, one of her favourite hobbies. “Fucking Harrington.” 

“Yeah.” Robin waited for a beat before trying to get back on track. “So, Steve’s spending Christmas with the Hendersons?” 

“By personal invitation of our drunken friend” He added as he looked back at you for a second, you were sneakily going through Eddie’s jacket. “Dude!” He yelled as soon as he realised what you were doing. 

“Duuude” You mocked him, holding the palms of your hands up. 

“The fuck are you looking for?” 

“I just wanted to smoke and I can’t find mine.” You tried to justify yourself. 

“That’s because you gave them to me, they're in my pack pocket.” He said as he dried his hands on a rag he found hanging from a wall. He shook his head with a side smile before looking at Robin. It was a quick glance, but enough was said. Get information, regroup. “I’ll come” He finally added while he walked to you, patting his back pocket and handing you your blue camel pack. “You’ve got a light?”

“Yeah.” You lead the way out of Steve’s house, letting the cold hit you right on your chest, enjoying the sharpness that invades your lungs as you breathe in. 

It takes a while for Eddie to say anything. You enjoy the warmth that the flame of the lighter leaves on your fingers, and the comfortable silence that was about to be broken, listening carefully to Eddie sighting before lighting his own cigarette. 

“So…” He analyzes how to start the conversation, stepping from behind you. He can see that you’ve had a little bit more to drink than usual, your cheeks are red, so is the tip of your nose. Your eyes are heavy and half closed, he can’t help but grin as he tries to find the right words. “Harrington..?” He looks at the ground, not really sure why he’s not capable of saying anything else. 

“What about him?” You almost sound defensive. You turn around slowly to face him, enjoying the way the smoke comes out of your lungs, not really sure when it stops and becomes your breath. It all looks the same in the cold, you briefly think. 

“You invited him to your family’s Christmas?” He inquires, his eyebrow raised as he inhales again. 

“Yeah” 

“Why?” 

“Why not?” 

“Dude.” Eddie was amazed by how much you tried not to show your feelings in this second, it was only made worse by your nervous swinging, your left hand playing with the fabric on your waist, as your right fiddles with the end of the cigarette. It was endearing. “When have you ever brought anybody to your Christmas family bullshit?” He sounded cynical, yet he had those sincere kind eyes that let you know he was being legitimately sincere. 

“I haven’t really, but c’mon, it’s Steve.” You tried to argue, not really listening to yourself. Taking a small breath in before continuing. “And who cares? He’s by himself on Christmas, nobody should.” 

“Except, it is a big deal, and a lot of people are going to care.” He counters, taking a step into your direction, with a serious expression. “If you look at me, deeaad in the eyes and tell me you feel absolutely nothing for dear old Harrington, I’ll drop it.” Eddie used that over the top voice he usually used when he knew the narrative was on his side, accompanied by the usual head tilt that shook his entire hair. 

You felt the strings being pulled. 

The single heartbeat that you skipped. 

The cold getting to your skin. 

The small realization that he might be right. 

That you might have a second intention that you weren't aware of it yet. Was it possible? Did you actually have some deeper more difficult and complicated feeling for Steve than you thought? 

It wasn’t an insane thought. Not really. 

It was actually a very real possibility. 

Especially when you thought of him, and you paid attention to the way your body reacted. You think back to the dinner, and how your skin felt hot and tingled every time your arm made contact with his, or his knee bumped into your leg. 

Your eyes darting between his and his lips. 

The urge you had to run your fingers through his hair. 

You ended up saying the only thing you thought of. 

“I can’t. I might.” 

-

Back in the living room, a very similar conversation was happening between Robin and Steve. Nancy had hushed Robin out of the kitchen once she realised she was cleaning the greasy plates with cold water. 

A very bored Steve was sitting on the couch looking out the window, more specifically at you. 

Steve turned his head around as soon as he heard that familiar chuckle. 

“Hey loverboy.” She teased as she let her body fall into the couch, all of a sudden, bumping his body a little bit. 

“Fuck off.” He scoffed in an attempt at self defense, a last plea for his dignity. He knew deep down, he was about to crumble. 

“How deep are you in?” Robin didn’t give in, she continued pushing. She recognised that look in his eyes, that gleam of hope you only get when you’re deeply falling for someone. 

“Pretty fucking in.” Steve knew it was no use. If he tried to lie Robin would know. If he tried to hide his feelings, he might burst  right here and there. 

“When?” She demanded, a look of compassion now that she saw the way his eyes dimmed when they were not looking at your back. 

“About an hour ago. When she invaded me and she had that look that she gets. You know the one. That melting into her hand thing. I dunno, I’ve liked her for a while but that… fuck, Robin. I dunno.” He whispered to her, afraid that anyone would hear. He was being incredibly sincere, he wasn’t fidgeting, there wasn’t a trace of nervousness on his voice. Robin had never seen such calmness and decisiveness in his friend. 

“How can you know in an hour?” It was the only thing Robin was sure she could ask, or the only reassuring thought she could offer in a time like this. 

“I’m not. I just know I wanna see her smile like that again.” 

With that they both knew something was blooming there. Robin didn’t say anything else, she just laid her head on his shoulder and muttered softly. i get it, which in Steve’s opinion, was the best thing that could happen. 

-

“Dear, can you come help me?” You looked straight into Dustin’s eyes, begging for him to answer. 

“I’ve been in the kitchen for four hours, please?” You tried to beg, holding your hair with both of your hands, trying to pin it up and away from your face in a way that looked good. 

“Five bucks.” He answered without hesitation. 

“Two and I don’t tell aunt Shelly about camp.” You bargained, just as fast as he answered. 

“What about camp? She knows I went to camp, she let me sleep in her house the night before.” 

“Yeah, but I bet she doesn’t know the bedrooms were mixed, and that you were in the same cabin as your dear Suzie Poo.” He cut you off before you could continue, you left a chuckle a soon as you saw him shake his head through the mirror. 

“Okey, jeez.” He added before quickly glazing at you for a second. “You’ve got lipstick on your teeth.” 

You frantically inspected, finding not a single red stain on them. 

“Fuck off.” 

“Why are you getting so dressed up anyway?” 

“Dunno, felt like it.” You tried to push him away, not wanting to answer more questions about your behaviour today. He caught the shift in your demeanor and quietly left the room you were in, raising his hand apologetically. 

You were far from feeling like it, you were usually nauseous before family gatherings, so that wasn’t necessarily anything new, but knowing that Steve was about to come in, knowing that you hadn’t actually figured anything out, knowing that you were unsure of every ounce of feeling you felt, made your head spin. So you obsessed over every single detail you could control. 

You had helped with the preparation of half of the menu, in anticipation for the various comments, that way you could divert them into the food, and deflect by giving compliments to the organization of your mom and her sisters. 

You locked yourself away in your room laying different options on top of your bed, painstakingly trying them on again and again, looking at every angle on the mirror. You wanted to look nice, but were terrified of the comments your family could make about your body. You were always too skinny for someone, too full for someone else, ate too much or too little. In the past, you’d wear an oversized shirt and call it a day. But that same black dress hung in your view. 

You took it, with a little red jumper over it. Just in case. 

Nancy had gifted you the lipstick. So you went to the bathroom, where Dustin was fixing his hair. 

And that’s where you were left, obsessing over how your hair fell on your back, and how much of it you could pin up, keeping it out and away from your face. 

As fate would have it, as soon as you stepped out, a soft nervous knock could be heard on the door. 

You slowly walked up to it, even if you already knew he was on the other side, you couldn’t quiet your heart, it beat loud and fast. It slowed once your eyes met his. He had a red flower plant on his right arm, and a couple of small boxes on his left. 

“Hey” 

“Hi” You answered before stepping out of the threshold. You glanced at the flowers quickly before returning to his eyes. He had that usual grin,  though his cheeks were more flushed than usual. 

“These are for your mom.” He admitted shyly, hiding his face behind them for a second, so he could compose himself. He chose the shirt you liked, and panicked with his hair for five minutes before getting out of the car. 

“They’re lovely.” Steve flushes at the way your eyes are shining, and how sincere your voice is. You on the other hand are touched he even had the thought to buy something for your mom. 

You both walk quietly to the kitchen, where your mom is frantically going over all the preparations with her older sister. It wasn’t a big fuss, he politely gives her the flowers, thanks her for letting him be in her house on Christmas and she reacts the same way you did, reassuring him that nobody should be alone on these days. 

He still thanked her profusely and introduced himself to your aunt Kathy, you were busy looking at him with a wide smile to notice that she smiled once she saw you next to him. 

You quietly walked to the living room, the fireplace was cracking softly as you both sat down on the couch. 

“What’s that?” You point out, your hand gracing the back of his, you flinch it back quickly once you feel that electric feeling growing right on the spot you touched. 

“Oh. Uh, this is for Dustin, this one’s for you.” Steve tries to not have a modulation on his voice, as if giving it to you didn’t make him feel like a little kid. 

“I didn’t get you anything…” You blurted out feeling ashamed you hadn’t thought of it, your cheeks were getting warmer by the second, it didn’t help feeling him that close, the cushions underneath you giving to both of your weight, making your hips touch. 

“You already did. I’m happy I’m not eating badly reheated turkey” He scoffs, cracking a joke that makes both of your lips curl upwards. He hands you the small box, allowing his fingers to rest on your palm for a second longer than they should. 

You didn’t say anything, you just looked at him. You lids half closed as you could help but let your cheeks rise up, a thruthfull smile that made Steve chuckle, it was a weird feeling. He was enjoying being the reason you smiled so sincerely, and it was a high he was determined to chase for the rest of his days. 

He just realised. If this is what it feels like, I don’t want to feel it for anyone else.

He just stayed there, careful not to move too much while he watched you carefully inspect the wrapped box, as you tilted and moved it, trying to guess what it was. 

Before you were able to open it, you were called to the table. You left it behind the tree where nobody could see, a quick glance to Steve, whose crinkled eyes gave you a feeling of calmness that you had been chasing for a while. careful. Something deep within you begged. don’t give in yet.

-

It was smooth sailing. 

Nobody really questioned anything, seeing how familiar Steve was with Dustin, watching how he was treated as one more of the family, it put you at ease. Aunt KAthy pushed to see if he had someone, which he adamantly admitted he did not. Not without looking at you first, which echoed a cackle between your extended family that you just blew off. Even if your cheeks matched the colour of your lips by now. 

It was all going well. The conversation flew, the food was good, you dodged some questions you didn’t feel like answering and the wine was poured. Steve had closed the distance between your ear and his lips in that moment. The warm breath that his words left on your skin made you try even harder not to appear nervous, squeezed your thighs harder for just a moment, until his cologne wasn’t as present, once you stopped feeling as if you could swim in it you could breath again. All of it just to say that he was happy you invated him, and that he could see the wine getting into your eyes. Which in return made you turn around quickly, your eyes still fixed onto his, he smiled shyly, softly and carefully biting his lip as he listen to you closely. As if the world didn’t exist. “What do you mean, the wine is in my eyes?” You hushedly asked, your chin resting on your hand. “You have the same look you did on our dinner. You just look more beautiful today if that’s even possible.” He tried his luck. 

It worked quickly. His grin grew bigger when he realised that you averted his eyes quickly. Flustered. Enjoying the way you took another sip. Memorising every single movement you made. “Fuck off” Is the only thing you managed to say. 

You left your hand hanging between the both of you, enjoying the feeling of it hanging in the air for a second. Steve noticed. And with a clear decision of making you realise his feelings for you this evening, he decided his hand should hang in that exact manner. 

Only his was bigger, and his little finger caressed yours. He quickly gleaned at the interaction, and the way you stretched your hand, so your fingers could be interlinked. It was quick, it was secret. what now? You screamed to yourself as you enjoyed the way his skin felt against yours, trying not to get caught by your mom, or even worse, Dustin. 

One thing was evident. 

You were in deep shit. 

Your heart had made a decision without asking permission. 

-

Everyone had opened their presents, everyone was distracted, showing each other their new things, playing and being amazed. Yet that little box sat anxiously in your palms. 

Somehow, it felt intimate. 

Somehow, it felt private. 

Steve -who hadn’t stopped looking at you, not even for a second- noticed the way in which your fingers played with the folded paper while your eyes and mind seemed elsewhere. 

“I won’t be mad if you don’t like it.” He whispered into your ear once again, leaving that effect on you once again. Your skin was now covered in visible goosebumps, and you felt as if your heart would beat out of your chest. You yelled to yourself get yourself together. 

“I thought you’d kill me.” You decide to play into it, in an effort to deflect the effect he was having on you, or the way your pupils invaded your iris. It was no use. 

“No.” Steve sounded convinced and sure of himself. A confidence in him that pulled you in even harder. “I’d miss you too much.” 

You can’t help but scoff a chuckle, yet a grin appears on your face. Steve’s satisfied with himself as soon as he catches you brushing your nose with a nervous movement. You quickly scan the room and notice no one is looking, so you decide to lay your hand on his forearm, softly caressing it. You smirk once you realise you have the same effect over him as he does on you. After a minute, you decide to slowly get up. Knowing his eyes won’t leave you or your figure, you started walking upstairs, the box still in your hands. 

You feel like you can breathe again once you hear his footsteps following you. 

You decide to stay at the top of the staircase, not wanting to lock yourself away in your bedroom with him. Not yet. Not now. 

There weren't any words spoken. Just glances between the both of you. You were having a whole conversation without even opening your mouth. It was a new feeling, a reassuring one. As if that had always been the way. You relished for a few seconds longer. Not making a sound. Just his eyes on yours, softness clear in them. The smell of his cologne mixed with his aftershave, which only made you feel warmer.

It all looked like a picture, like a scene out of a movie, like a lyric of a love song that would eventually destroy you. but why shouldn’t I enjoy it? You caught yourself thinking. For once, you let your heart guide you. 

Your fingers broke the paper, Steve was gleaming with excitement. 

You found a little cassette tape, with a polaroid badly cut to fit the cover of the both of you, taken on that dinner you had a few weeks ago. His hand rested on your shoulder and you looked up at him as if time had stopped. You felt the way you were squinting your eyes, the back of it was handwritten. Your songs. And he listed every single one that made him think of you. 

“Open it” He whispered, closing the distance between your bodies, the tip of his finger bumping into yours. If you swang, your hip would immediately crash into his. It created an electricity that was inviting and comfortable. 

Inside you found a little necklace. It wasn’t anything too fancy, or decorative. It’s simple nature made you smile. You had one just like this one, but the chain broke two years ago. You felt seen. 

You felt known. 

You felt loved. 

You whipped a little tear away, quickly holding the tape in an embrace. 

“Thank you.” You managed to whisper before burying your face in his chest, your hand still holding thigh to the cassette tape. 

His hands quickly wrapped around your waist, pressing you in tightly. He felt lucky he got to hold you like that. You quickly held onto him too. It was intoxicating. After a few seconds Steve rested his head on top of yours. You felt his chest move as you heard him chuckle. 

“Is that…?” He asked breaking the embrace to point at a pointy green leaf that was glued to the ceiling. 

“Yup.” You answered quickly, flustered and embarrassed your house has that much of a chiché- 

“Should we?” He asked. Though Steve’s voice was more close to a plea, or a beg. You shook your head quickly, which made his eyebrows furrow. He was getting lost in your mixed signals. 

“I don’t want you to kiss me because of some plant…” You start saying before gathering the courage to finish the sentence looking him deep into his eyes. “ I want you to kiss me because you actually want to.” You explained as best as you could, as best as your nervousness and uncharacteristic shy demeanor allowed you to. 

You saw the way Steve left his head hang to the right as he evaluated his options, his eyes couldn’t stop looking at your lips. He didn’t have another choice. 

“In that case” He whispered in a hush voice, with an urgency in his tone. His arms held you tightly as he stepped out under the mistletoe, your back almost bumping into the wall, your arms travelled all the way to the back of his neck, your thumbs grabbing his jaw softly. 

Those seconds before he closed the distance where the closest you thought you could get to heaven without being dead. The way his eyes looked at you, the hunger, the neediness in them made your head spin. 

As soon as his lips were on top of yours you felt like you just found what you had missed with every other kiss you had ever had. 

Sparks. 

Warmth. 

Respect. 

Need. 

You begged it wouldn’t end. His hands buried in your body as much as he could, holding you tightly, even more than you thought possible. Your hands got lost in his hair, enjoying how soft and the tangles you created and separated at the same time. 

What was better, you could feel each other smiling, deciding to continue kissing despite of it. 

Even once it finished, it didn’t. Steve kissed the tip of your nose before his forehead rested on yours, and you kissed his chest before holding him again. 

“You have to be fucking jokeing” Dustin’s voice appeared out of thin air, with the sound of the flushed toilet and the opening door than banged a little too hard. 

You couldn’t help but laugh as hard as you could, burring your head in Steve’s Chest while he hid his face on your hair, both of you way too happy to be faced by that type of energy right now. 

You decided to enjoy each other’s company for a second longer before going back to reality. 

You had time. 

You had made a decision of trying, of giving in. 

And so did him.

-

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No chatty banter with him. Not even the smell of his gross cooking filling the air. You hadn’t cooked in your kitchen for months. 

It was expected. Everybody told you that grief is a process and that you can’t rush through it, but… You didn’t feel like that. 

You felt as if all the grief that you felt for him was just all the love you still have for him, that you didn’t get to express, or show and don’t know where to really put it now. Robin suggested getting a dog, and you did laugh at the idea, not because you found it ridiculous or weird, but because you were struggling to take care of yourself, how could you ever take care of another living thing? 

You were spiraling pretty bad, and you did want to call someone, anyone really. It didn’t matter as long as they could hold you and tell you that you weren’t insane for holding onto hope, or believing that maybe he was really alive, or that it was okay not to be okay, that you would get through it and that you are still deserving of love and affection. But you didn’t want to burden anyone. 

Though his name came into your mind. 

As a whisper almost. 

And as fate had it, the phone started to ring, pulling you away from that circle of self-doubt or self-hate? You weren’t even sure anymore. 

So you stand up, pulling yourself together, wiping the tears that started to form in your eyes but hadn’t had the courage to jump out of them. You picked it up, waiting to hear someone’s voice. 

“Hello?” Your voice cracked, you hadn’t spoken in what felt like days.

“Hey Hopper, it’s me.” You winced as you heard your father’s last name, but a soft smile contradicted it, it was Steve’s voice after all. 

“Hey Steve…” You whispered, really trying to hold yourself together now. “Um… what… what’d you want?” You said as you failed to stop the last tear from dropping. 

“I was just checking in… Hadn’t heard from you in a while…” He admits, his voice soft-spoken and calm, you could feel his eyebrows raising and furrowing in his forehead. 

“You called me yesterday…” You said, with a chuckle, trying to hide the fact that you were about to break down and cry. 

“Yeah, well… Something told me you…” He stopped for a second. Your hand grabbing your cheeks tight, hoping that if you had enough strength you would stop crying and would be able to have a normal conversation, not worrying him. “Hey…” He said softly, with a whisper of a voice. “Were you- are you crying?” That was enough for you to actually fall to your knees, hugging yourself as you crumbled. 

“Yeah…” You manage to say, not being able to say anything else, whimpers and fast breathing invading your body. 

“Be there in five.” His voice said, not mean, but harsh. Decided, and yes, worried. 

You tried to say anything to him, something that would make him not worry and not come over here, but it was useless, he had already hung up. 

And you just laid there, in your hard-wood floors, trying to hold your body as you searched for comfort, not really sure if you had the strength to get back up. 

It was all my fault. Itwas all my fault. Itwasall my fault. Itwasallmy fault. Itwasallmyfault. 

Your brain screams at you as you remember your father going down, and Joyce’s face when she had to tell you. 

You don’t know how long it took, or for that matter, how long you had stayed clawing your floor trying to composure yourself. But Steve came through the door. 

He came directly to you and said nothing. He just held you, as you just wept. Eternally grateful for him, but at the same time, incredibly embarrassed that he had to see you like that. 

“I’m sorry.” You managed to whisper, your voice higher than ever before, your eyes burning from the tears. 

You felt the grip of his fingers grow deeper into your skin. 

“Don’t be.” He said, as he played with your hair. “I’m here.” He remained you. 

You nodded, and let your body relax at those words, your head hitting his chest, him just holding you more and more tightly, reassuring you, comforting you. 

“You’re staying at mine from now on.” He declares. His voice, serious, and clear. He grabbed your face, cupping it in between his hands. “You don’t bother. You need to get out of here. And I want you there, okay?” He answers before you can even say nothing to him. You nod, with a shy thank you smile. He nodded as he left a kiss in the crown of your head. 

He stayed in the ground with you until your breathing returned to normal, and you could actually talk without hiccups. He had no rush in making sure you were okay. 

Once you were capable of standing up, he guided you to the sofa, and made you wait there, as he went into your room and packed the essentials. He told you when you tried to tell him off, that he knew it would be easier if he did it now. That you could come tomorrow and grab what you actually wanted or needed. And yeah, he was right. Because he always is when it comes to you. 

-

“D’you need anything?” You ask as you see him getting ready to leave. 

“Oh um… No, think we’re good.” He says as he scans the fridge once again. Coffee pot still hot. 

You give him one of your funny looks, judging him as he runs his fingers through his hair. You leave your chair and walk right next to him, as you eye the mostly empty fridge, his hand still holding the door. 

“Dude, do you really wanna have soup for dinner, again?” You ask him, eyebrows lifted, sarcasm in your voice.

“Well, no. Not really.” He admits, closing the door. Walking back to his mug, raising it to his lips. “But you don’t have to go and get anything, I can do it.” He says, eyes lost on the maroon liquid. 

“Oh, c’mon. I’m the one invading your house, let me do something!” You demand of him, almost begging. 

He nods as he leaves to grab his brown worn-out jacket. Your eyes are set on him, the way he moves, ever so easily, confident in everything he does, even if that is just his routine, you’re amazed by the way his arms glide through the sleeves, and how his head lifts up, hair bouncing, defying gravity all the same. 

His eyes meet yours for just a second. 

“You don’t have to do anything in return you know? I like having you around.” He reassures you. Hands in his pocket, you nod with a polite smile back. He copies your body language, relaxed. “Be back at 8, ‘kay?” 

“Yeah, don’t worry. I’ll be fine.” 

Even if he isn’t conscient of it, you catch him muttering under his breath as the entrance door opens. 

“I always worry ‘bout you.” 

Be as it may, it makes you smile. Not really sure why it would, it still does. 

So as you lay in his kitchen, you begin to do what you’ve taken as your routine since he invaded you to live in his house a few weeks ago. You clean the dishes from the night before, and sort out what needs to be sorted out. Laundry and bathroom today. 

You spend a quiet morning doing so, not haunted my memories, not a devastating inner monologue, just that. Stillness and calmness. And it seems as though the weather accompanies you today, with an unusually warm sunlight that crawls through the windows, a promise that today won’t be as freezing as the rest of December has been. 

So you decide that today’s a good day to walk around Hawkins. 

You’ve been borrowing his old walkman, with the stuck mix-tape that Dustin had gifted him god knows when. You put his headphones on your head, and as you press play, you move through his empty house, crawling to the bedroom that he had for visitors. And you do find yourself thinking how strange it is, such a big house, and yet it’s always empty except for him. An absent father, and an out-of-the-map mother. 

Maybe he needed your company just as much as you needed his. 

You smile to yourself at that thought, and how perfect it would be if that was the case. 

When you look at the mirror, you feel as if you're missing something, not quite sure what it might be, you spin around your room, walls still white, you spot a vivid yellow jumper on your floor. So you grab it and put it on, smelling Steve as it lays on top of your body, you’re ready to leave. 

-

“Thank you” He muttered as he finished his last bite. You had decided to eat on the couch, eyes darted at the T.V. 

“Don’t mention it.” You say as you let your plate rest on the coffee table, grabbing your cup of water in the same motion. “I should be thanking you” 

“What for?” He demands, looking at you through his brows, unsure. 

“Letting me stay here. Y’know, everything…” You let out, avoiding his gaze as you darted around the room. 

“How long have we known each other?” He asks all of a sudden, his left hand stroking his face as his eyes finally connect to yours, shocked in response to his question. 

“I dunno, seems like I knew you since I was born” You say, sincerely, your face and body relaxing at him, as his right hand readjust a wisp of your hair that wasn’t quite in place. 

“Exactly. So stop bullshiting me!” He exclaims. You flinch in show of his response, not really sure what to do next, he readjusts himself. Leg climbing up the sofa, his arm resting in it. Pulling closer to you. “I’ve known you my whole life, so please, please don’t lie to me.” He begs, as one of his hands catches yours, in a plea of sincerity and vulnerability. 

“I’m not…” You try to say, as you catch your voice barely coming out of your body, tears bubbling up as your vision gets blurry. A feeling of heaviness invading your chest. Your hand that rested free on the back of the couch is now wiping the beginnings of the tears away, your mouth tasting salty already. 

“But… You are… You can tell me…” He whispers back, the grip he has in your hand growing stronger, his eyes shooting compassion and begging for you to trust in him, to let yourself be seen by him. 

“I just… It’s my fault…” You mutter, as you finally let your walls down, crumbling down, not physically, but you could feel the silent tears not waiting for you to wipe them, as they escape with no order. 

“It wasn’t.” He answers back. 

“It feels like it…” Your voice barely audible, you see his head getting closer so he could hear you. 

“I know it does, but everything that happened… Yeah, it sucks but… Y’know, you’re alive.” Your face flinches at that, yes you are alive but for all that it’s worth, he isn’t and if you had to put words into what you were actually feeling it would be survivors guilt. “And you deserve to be…” He finishes, with his free hand, he pushes hair away from your face, and leaves it there, in the back of it, stroking your hair, hoping he can give you some sort of reassurance. He does. 

“I don't… Not more than he did…” You try to argue. To  no avail, you can see Steve crumbling down, his body moving closer to you now, holding your gaze up to meet his eyes. 

“I think he would think otherwise.” He tells you, as his thumb wipes some of the tears away, soft eyes looking at you, with a sideways smile. 

“Yeah, and he’d be a dick about it..” You whisper, making you both laugh. 

“Oh absolutely he would.” He says, laying your head in his shoulder, as he rests his head on yours, holding you sideways. 

Intimacy growing between the both of you, you enjoy that moment of stillness and quiet. 

-

You usually weren’t able to fall asleep until later in the night, meaning that usually, the sun could be seen waking up when you went down, finding comfort in knowing that sunshine was coming. 

So, as a consequence, you had a habit of saying goodnight to Steve at around ten o’clock at night, when he went upstairs to his bed. You would catch one of the books that his father had laying about and bring it with you, in the room next to him, sharing nothing else but quiet and a wall. 

So you sat down, back to the wall, resting on top of the comfortable and cold bed. Having decided to finally read Pride & Prejudice, you moved your hair out of your way, pulling it up in a ponytail. Still wearing Steve’s yellow sweater, you removed your pants, resting the book in your bare legs, you started to read. 

Before you knew it, you were immersed in it, reading. 

“Chapter 12 

In consequence of an agreement between the sisters, Elizabeth wrote the next morning to their mother, to beg that the carriage might be sent for them in the course of the day. But Mrs. Bennet, who had calculated on her daughters remaining at Netherfield till the following Tuesday, which would exactly finish Jane’s week, could not bring herself to receive them with pleasure before. Her answer, therefore, was not propitious, at least not to Elizabeth’s wishes, for she was impatient to get home…”

Steve’s screaming snapped you out of the world you had immersed yourself in. 

You dropped the book and were rapidly moving across your room, opening his door wide. You find him, his head resting in his hand, chest moving rapidly as he had trouble breathing. His eyes move at you for a moment, though he wants to, and you can tell, he’s not capable of saying anything to you. 

So you don’t say anything. 

Nor did you think about what you were doing. 

Your body just found its way to his, holding him, just like he had hours before. You could feel him leaning his weight into you, his body exhausted and crumbling into yours, so you did what he did for you. You held him, no questions asked. No demands. 

His chest, you could see, was back to its normal rhythm, though you had become distracted by the fact that he wasn’t wearing any shirt or nothing to that matter, but some old pyjama pants. 

His head rested in your shoulder this time, and his lips whispered into your ear, so soft and so deep that it sent tingles to your whole body as he spoke. 

“I’m better… I…” 

“It’s okay. You don’t have to tell me…” You finish for him, as your hand finds itself lost into his hair, something that you never dared to do before. 

You could feel him smiling, as he nodded, hair tickling your cheek as he did so. The warmth between the two of you growing, with a need of touch that you both had met in this moment. 

“I don’t have to leave if you don’t want me to.” You whisper to him. Your head looking down at him, his brown eyes were still shining, even at the dead of night. But then again, they always did when he looked at you. 

So, with no words needed, he opened his side of the blanket and you crawled inside. His body was holding you tight, just as you did to him. Your head in his chest, his hands in your hair. You hadn’t slept that quickly or comfortably in a long time. And neither had he. 

-

It became a routine. 

Nighttime fell on the Harrignton household, and he would head upstairs first, you would follow his steps half an hour later, book in hand. He would rest his head on your chest covered by one of his old shirts while you read. Once you felt his body relax, you would close the book and let him hold you, the nightstand light turned off. 

He woke up first, and he would always leave a sleepy kiss on your shoulder while he mumbled a good morning. He’d go down and you would creep out of the sheets when the smell of coffee travelled its way to you. 

And you would share a quiet morning. 

It felt nice. It felt good. It felt right. 

But you could also tell that it was screwing with your head. 

You had caught his hands caressing your skin more and more lately, and the places he touched would burn with a strange mix of desire and need, expressing themselves in warmth. You saw his eyes darting to your lips when you were speaking to him. His going-out-to-work hugs would last more and more, and they left no space between your bodies. 

You weren’t free of guilt either. 

Your hands now had the habit of searching for him in the middle of the night. Your lips searched for his shoulder to leave a kiss on them every time he turned around in his sleep, craving to hear him let a soft moan out. And everytime he was standing in the kitchen you would hug him from behind, your arms holding tight as your hands played with his shirt. 

You realized in the middle of the day, that you were indeed falling madly in love with him. 

So, on that night, when he came home, you looked at him like you never had before. 

Your breath got caught up for a second too long. Your eyes shined bright every time you dared to look back at him. Your cheeks grew pink and warm when he hugged you as soon as he came from outside, even if his clothes were cold, you didn’t feel it, your body burning up in new discovered feelings. 

You grew nervous and fidgety, craving his closeness. Feeling somehow guilty of what your heart felt, scared shitless of what this all could mean. 

And you didn’t know this, but he was just as nervous this evening. 

So when he caught you picking at your skin, he didn’t warn you before grabbing your hand. 

You were once again in his bed. Book closed in your chest. His face close to yours, his eyes looking softly at you, begging for you to say what was on your mind, his lips slightly parted. 

“What’s wrong?” He asked, his voice sounded tired, as if he had been but a moment away from falling asleep. As he grabbed the ends of your fingers, you saw how truely close his lips were to them. When he saw you growing quiet, staring at him with doe-like eyes, he pulled himself closer to you. Your body is completely touching him. 

“C’mon, you can tell me… I.. I’m here…I’m your friend…”

You let out a soft laughter, and didn’t really think before speaking. 

“But you're not…” You whisper to him. His eyes take offence at this, his body moving forwards from you as you tell him that. 

“What do you mean?” He begged, his voice barely audible, but broken. 

“Friends don’t do this… Steve I…” You were getting flustered, his hands still wrapped around your fingers. 

“Whaddumean?” He asked, all in one phrase. 

“Friends don’t… This!” You say as you point at both of you, he shaked his head, not really following you. “Friends don’t sleep together, they don’t cuddle, they don’t kiss you good morning and good night, they don’t…” You can see him getting slightly offended at the words that you're saying to him. 

“Look, you can’t leave! You were the one that said that-” You had to cut him off. You didn’t like him getting flustered or mad about something that was not what you meant. 

“I don’t wanna leave! I want to stay like this! I want… you” You say, your eyes completely sincere, your shoulders relaxed, begging him to understand what you were trying to say to him without actually having to say it outloud. 

“Then what do you mean we’re not…” He’s getting frustrated, hands in his hair, scratching in anger, in misunderstanding. 

“Goddammit Steve!” You yell to him, throwing the blanket off of you, to his body. Your chest goes up and down rapidly. “I love you!” You yell to him, your cheeks warm and red, tears of nervousness in the corners of your eyes. 

“I love you too but… I don’t- I’m not following.” He said, in his most honest, lost voice. His body closer to yours again, begging to understand what was going on. 

“Steve…” You whisper. “I… I mean, that, I’m in love with you…” 

As soon as your words reach him, you can see the way the light lights up in his head, as he understands what you mean. So he does what he’s been dreaming about for so long. 

His left hand grabs your cheek, and as your eyes meet, he holds you like this for a moment, foreheads touching, both of your eyes closing. Your heart is beating faster than ever. And he finally closes the distance. 

Your lips finally touch. In need to finally feel the way he feels, his other hand getting lost in the back of your neck, playing with your hair, as he holds you closer and closer. No rush between you, your arms hold him, getting lost in the back of his neck. Needing him like you’ve never needed him before. Your tongues touch as the kiss deepens. You're both smiling as you do so. 

“I guess we’re not friends.” He whispers an inch away from your lips, kissing you again. Making you laugh in between kisses. 

“I guess not.” You say as you continue. Kissing him. His lips. His neck. Messing with his hair as much as you can, enjoying the way his body fitted against yours. 

“I’m in love with you too.” He admits later in the night, as he spoons you, whispering it in your ear, as he turns you around to kiss you again. 

You didn’t sleep that night, for a good reason this time. 

-

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