Caught An Edge

released on april 1st of this year, usa hockey has released a policy stating that all leagues and teams under it's governance must restrict players to their assigned sex based team (excluding coed leagues and teams). this is not only incredibly disruptive to just trans athletes, but moreso female athletes

as you probably know, hockey is a predominantly male sport, so most local and smaller teams are more likely to be all-male teams. in the past, girls have been able to get around this by joining male teams as a female, playing the same game.

this is no longer possible, and female athletes, even beer league or low level leagues, are restricted to teams, leagues and games that are either female only, or coed. both of which are hard to find and usually are only low level--meaning it restricts a lot of girls and women from playing at a higher level.

most olympic level or professional hockey players in the PWHL were able to reach their level via playing in boys leagues and teams, because girls teams weren't available. with this new policy, it could be harder than ever before for girls to play and access hockey.

despite girls hockey growing exponentially in the past couple of years, this may prove to be a bigger challenge for girls than any actual trans athletes. this ban not arguably harms more athletes

It was a mozzarella stick that nearly did Sidney Crosby in.

Sitting in a local restaurant a couple weeks back, the Pittsburgh Penguins captain knew that he was in trouble immediately after biting into the breading with a broken jaw full of smashed teeth. In fact, he had to reach into his throat and pry out the hot rubbery cheese to keep from choking on it. As you might imagine, it was a harrowing experience.

“I did choke on a mozzarella stick,” Crosby said. “I thought I’d be OK with that a few weeks in. I couldn’t really chew, but I figured it was pretty soft. I forgot how thick the cheese is, and it was pretty hot. I was sitting next to Mo (Brenden Morrow). We were out eating, and he looked over and I was pulling this cheese out of my throat. It was pretty funny.”

HELLO IS EVERYONE SEEING THIS. the cast is unbelievable (including my favorites Jana Schmeiding and Paulina Alexis)

So like, you get traded to the team, and then immediately they draft a guy second overall and make him the captain. Youngest ever, back then. And it makes sense to EVERYONE why he gotta be the captain. See, Gabe has this breezy, easy charisma that makes everyone instantly like him and listen to him. He's handsome. He's like what they thought about the kings from the past, blessed to rule by the heavens, and he mogs the fuck out of you immediately. You simply MUST become besties. And you do, and it works well for you. The heir apparent accepts you in the entourage. You are overjoyed to be useful.

Duchene is also there, and so is O'Reilly, and they add MacKinnon two years later. You don't make it to the "young core" hype. People bring you up mostly in discussions of "who would you draft first overall instead of Erik Johnson". But you soon find a fresh purpose, because the other first overall, Nate, is having problems. He's struggling the next season, not matching his performance in the rookie one. Your own rookie season is seven years past at this point, and you feel compelled to share the wisdom. He's very receptive, and you become close friends. Secretly, you start thinking of him as an opportunity to make it right. Whatever went wrong with you, maybe you squandered what you had, maybe you never had it in the first place, you can prevent that for Nate. You can be there for Nate. You, Gabe, and Nate. And Tyson, and Mikko.

You ALWAYS swing for your team. When Duchene asks out to play "playoff hockey", you shade him for the media. When Roy leaves and takes half the staff with him, you brace for impact. It's the worse season you've ever seen and you are ready for it to be over. Everyone gotta go soon. You remember the Blues and how it went back then and you are sick with anxiety. No one can recover from this. The team finishes dead last in the NHL with the worst record in the history of the franchise, and they don't even give you the first pick for that. They give you the fourth pick. The FOURTH.

The team drafts a defenseman, hopefully the real franchise defenseman that you weren't for Blues. He takes a year to arrive. The team gets better. When he arrives, the team gets REALLY better. They get the Prez trophy at the height of pandemic. Things look up. You don't get the Prez next year, but you are running through the playoff series. A sweep, a 2-4, a sweep. You are sick with anxiety again, watching the clock ticking the last seconds of the game 6 in Tampa. Turns out, another 2-4. You hug Nate, your project, your supposed protege who kinda did most of the work himself to unflop, and boy, did he unflop. You roll around on the ice missionary, then he helps you get up. You don't remember much after. You remember skating on Amalie arena at night alone, after everyone was gone, to soak it in.

Gabe is recovering from a surgery next season. It feels weird without him. You flop to Seattle, and your contract is up. MacFarland discussed possibly trading you to get money for Kadri extension and you said no. You wanted to stay here, if a little longer, and you did. They do not extend you, and you go to Buffalo. Gabe, who's recovery is taking long time now, is here to welcome you back to Denver. When you go to Philly, he's also there for your 1000th game, wearing a suit for second year straight. You both have been away for so long. Danny "The Fujo" Briere pulls his magic to reunite you, mostly arranging the trade that will send you back to Denver by himself, exactly on the trade deadline, and just in time for Gabe's return. He's been out for three years, accidentally decommissioned by you franchise 4OA defenseman's skate blade, but he's back. And so are you. You last seven games into the playoffs (you don't actually dress for any of them) and then you are out.

MacFarland was very clear from the start: bro, we aren't extending you. This is the end for real. We like you and we like the vibes you bring, but our cap can't handle to pay a guy for the vibes. You DON'T WANT to retire. Desperately so. You think about returning to Danny and Flyers. You want to stay with the boys, on whatever conditions it takes. Your dad convinces you otherwise. Or, rather, asks you - don't you wanna go on your own terms? Think about it. You are healthy. You are rarely healthy, but right now, you are, and you are an Av, and you can retire an Av. Like you wanted.