we are like young potatoes

i found you asleep in the stacks. we’re closed. please go home.

i’m too short to reach the top shelf and too stubborn to get a stool. you watched me take a running leap for it before you offered to grab the book for me

you reserved the book i wanted to check out first and i hate you for it

no, i cannot help you find your textbook if you don’t know what it’s called. “it has a blue cover” doesn’t help

you have rented and returned the entire buffy the vampire series in the span of 8 days. are you okay.

you said that shakespeare was dumb while checking out fight club and i am ready to Fight You

you saw me dancing to my ipod while reshelving books. please don’t judge me. or tell my boss.

I’m always pulling books you reserved so I’ve started leaving little notes in them for you.

WHY DID YOU ANNOTATE A LIBRARY BOOK IN PEN.

someone left a comment card in the suggestions box that says “the reference librarian is super cute” and now all of the reference librarians are arguing over who it’s for

i walked in on you and your boyfriend making out in the upper level and now french lit is ruined for me forever

your study group ordered pizza to the library and you let me have some

you brought your drunk friend to the library and then left them passed out in the play section. why would you do this.

“i promised myself that i would get along with my roommate in college but you like star trek and i like star wars and this is never gonna work” au

“i see you jogging around my block every morning so i guess it’s my fault i accidentally left my curtains open when changing while you passed by” au

“you kissed me on the playground the day before you moved away in the 4th grade and now your dorm is right across the hall from mine” au

“a number i don’t know accidentally texted me an address for a party and i decided to go anyways because, what the hell? but it turns out this is your party and i’ve had a crush on you since the 6th grade” au

“we’ve been best friends for practically our whole lives but you’re a thousand times more popular than me so you dragged me to a big party and now we’re playing spin the bottle and you spin and it lands on me oh crap” au

“you’re the new person working at this department store but you’re stupid and made a mess and now the boss is pissed off so i took the blame for you but that’s okay because now we have sex in the storage room during breaks” au

“my friends forced me to ride this roller coaster but i just ate so now i puked all over the floor and you are an amusement park staff who is rushing over to help me but oh god you’re cute and i have chunks of barf on my lips” au

“i’ve had a crush on you since kindergarten and we’re working on a science project together at my house but when i leave the room you dig through my stuff and find a box dedicated to you under my bed and no those aren’t the valentines day cards you gave me in the 2nd grade” au

“we met at a concert and we’re singing all the lyrics together and having a great time but you lock your gaze with me when my favourite romantic line comes on and i think i’m in love” au

“i used to pick on you in middle school and then we went to separate high schools but now you’re at my college and your hot as hell and really popular” au

“i’m obsessed with a super nerdy online game that i constantly get picked on for liking but then i meet a new person on this game and it turns out to be you, the most popular person in the entire school” au

“i never really knew you until this school year when we coincidentally both dyed our hair the same bright colour and now everyone ships us” au

“i came to the gym to work out but holy god i can’t stop watching you do one armed push ups that’s so hot” au

“this is totally awkward considering before this the only interactions we’ve ever had have been casual nods to each other in the hallway but there’s a huge fucking spider in my bath tub and you seem like the friendly neighbor type please help me” au

“you’re the only delivery person who gets to my house in any semblance of the word fast which is why i keep requesting you but you don’t believe me and tease me constantly about it” au

“okay i get it you’re a great thief and don’t want to go to jail but i’m the exhausted af detective that’s assigned to catch you i stg if you let me bring you in so i can sleep i’ll get you a good deal” au

"okay i get that there are no seats left in this cafe but like i am trying to read here no you cannot have this chair my feet are using it thank you very much please get out of my face now” au

“my parents moved me halfway across the world when we were twelve and before that we were best friends but now i’m back and moving in across the hall from you so hi?” au

“i’ve been travelling a lot and somehow you’re in every single city i go to seriously what the fuck who even are you how are you doing this” au

“we’ve been nothing but friends for our whole lives but then we played seven minutes in heaven on a dare and now i think i might actually be in love with you” au

“ngl i thought you were the weak one of this friend group but your whole life just went to complete shit around you and somehow you’re still acting the same so if you want to be weak you can be around me” au

“my guitarist quit the night before the gig that could mean the big break for a band that i have put my soul into and supposedly you’re really good but i swear to god if you screw this up for me i will hunt you down and slit your throat” au

“it seems we’re the only two people in this class that actually know what the fuck is going on want to team up for this project and ruin everybody’s lives” au

“we started arguing about which hogwarts house this one character would be in and we completely lost track of time and now you’re demanding i take you out to dinner is this a date” au

“i’m the private investigator that was hired by your ex to track you down and you totally caught me sitting outside your apartment in a rental car so hi what up” au

“i came to check out this support group but things have kind of been majorly sucking lately and you were there and i didn’t even know anything was wrong but we’ve known each other for months what gives” au

“i’m the lawyer helping you get custody of your daughter and oops you’re all kinds of adorable with her and also i think she’s growing attached to me is this good or bad” au

“i meant to text the contact one above you in my phone’s contact list for a booty call but i didn’t realize i hit your name until i sent it so now i’m just sitting here feeling those little three dots hardcore judging me” au

“we started dating after months of sexual tension between us but then you moved across the country so now we’re trying to figure out how to make this brand new relationship work long distance” au

“so not to be rude or anything but i’ve been coming to this cemetery at this time on this day every week for fucking years and i’ve always been alone up until now seriously what the hell” au

Okay so if you’re anything like me you see those lists of au ideas floating around and you like them but when it comes time to write something and you need an idea you have no idea what you tagged them as or if they’re buried somewhere in your likes so….have a list of some of the ones I’ve come across! This is updated with new lists and fixed links fairly frequently so check back here if you’d like more! 

 (updated on december 29th, 2015)

themed:

super long list of college aus

more college aus

super super long list divided into different themes

even more college aus

autumn aus

it’s really cold outside aus

meet-ugly

art school aus

femslash aus

they know each other but don’t know that they know each other aus

awkward first meeting aus

MORE college aus

airport related aus

fake married/dating trope

really long, sectioned au list (some random some themed)

pub aus

royal aus

assassin aus

opposites attract

roommate aus

party meet-funny aus

rivalry to romance aus

really competitive otp aus

“we’re bad at dating” aus

hot mess aus

hot mess aus pt 2

hot mess aus pt 3

hot mess aus pt 4

art major aus

business aus

some more college aus

reincarnation aus

height difference aus

neighbor aus

theater aus

commuter aus

science aus

ridiculous sentence prompts

high school aus

single parent aus

established relationship aus

fantasy aus

apartment aus

mythological creatures au

reverse fairy tales

angsty otp aus

ot3 prompts

pretend to be NOT dating/married aus

hogwarts aus

“oh god i’m so sorry” aus

bookstore aus

disability aus

halloween aus

soulmate aus

weather/seasonal aus

road trip aus

bed sharing aus

sick!fic aus

not-so-fluffy roadtrip aus

aus for when your otp are both assholes

friendship to romance

more ot3 prompts

“things are going terribly” christmas aus

hidden relationship aus

arranged marriage au starter sentences

music major aus

shippy roommate aus

language aus

christmas aus

lots more under the cut, the post was getting unwieldy

“move my arm is falling asleep”

“i can’t breathe”

“just jam your knee right up my crotch. this is fine”

“omg get up you’re taking up the whole bed”

“did you just fart” “yes” “it’s okay. release your demons”

“did you just fart” “yes” “okay.” *ten seconds later* “AUGH”

“you’ve got bad breath” “omg do i really” “yes” “i’m so sorry” “it’s okay”

*hand is accidentally on a boob/nipple/genital* “omg don’t move”/”omg i’m so sorry”

*can hear the other’s tummy gurgle*

“i’m hungry” “i’m not moving”

“i have to pee” “nooooooo”

*right as one person is about to fall asleep, one of their body parts jerk and it scares the poop out of the other person*

*hours later when they’ve both fallen asleep and are no longer cuddling, one person stretches and softly punches the other in the face*

bonus:

“do you remember when you used to think you were straight”

“Please, come with me.”

“You’re always number one.”

“I can’t do this.”

“I won’t let you.”

“Maybe I’m just crazy.”

“I’m not even sorry.”

“Honestly, just stop it.”

“I believe in you.”

“Don’t be an ass.”

“Who were you with?”

“Please talk to me.”

“I can’t trust you.”

“I need you, though.”

“Don’t be fucking rude.”

“Is that my shirt?”

“So, it was you.”

“I need to go.”

“Just stay with me.”

“You can trust me.”

“Alright, I love you.”

“I’m sorry, but no.”

“Will you help me?”

“You’re a terrible cook.”

“Can you shut up!?”

“You love me, right?”

“I really need you.”

“I don’t love you.”

“I’m not doing this.”

“I really need you.”

“You don’t want me.”

“Let me help you.”

“You’re such a bitch.”

“I can’t do this.”

“You think you’re funny?”

“Hey, I said stop!”

“Will you marry me?”

“Wanna go out sometime?”

“I don’t want this.”

“You always this quiet?”

“Are you fucking insane!?”

“I don’t want you.”

“I’m not wearing that.”

“Sorry, were you sleeping?”

“This was never right.”

“You look really tired.”

“I’m out of here.”

here you go!!

I was trying to poison my target’s leftovers but then you suddenly showed up at their place and no don’t fucking touch that pasta

I’ve tried to kill you dozens of times and you are still alive, how on earth are you still alive we practically know each other now

“really? swords? what is this, an anime?”

we’ve both been hired to kill the same guy and while we try to fight over them our target keeps running away and this is all your fault

we’re trying to kill our target inconspicuously so please stop suggesting strapping them to a bomb vest okay? no we can’t blow up their house either

I hooked up with a stranger one night, and the next day I found they were my target and damn I’m going to miss them

the intel I’ve been given is super vague and I’m not even sure who I’m meant to kill so now I have to spy on a bunch of people to find out who has the mole on their butt or something

“are you guys flirting? We’re trying to stay undercover and you’re flirting?”

we’re partners and we’ve known each other for years so you should know by now to stop saying stupid shit into the comms when I’m trying to aim damn

“I found you crying on the floor tangled in a bunch of Christmas lights so now I’m desperately trying to get you out but you’re not helping me at all you’re just sitting there complaining and sobbing omg” au

“MY FAMILY ALWAYS HAS THE BIGGEST TREE WE’VE BEEN PICKING OUT THE BIGGEST TREE SINCE X YEAR AND IF YOU DON’T HELP ME LUG THIS THING BACK TO THE CAR I SWEAR WE’RE BREAKING UP” au

“We both hate Christmas. We’re not doing Christmas. I refuse to do Christmas. We’re having sex all day instead. Deal? Deal.” au

“Our first kiss was under the mistletoe at a party but somehow we managed to never exchange names and then we couldn’t find each other again for a whole two months afterwards because it turns out you were a gatecrasher as well and no one at the party knew either of us” au

“You hit me so hard with a snowball that you had to take me to the ER but it turns out that I’m actually extremely attracted to you and can’t help but forgive you so like? Maybe wanna get coffee after? You owe me that much” au