Setting Cats Up for Success Includes âGaslightingâ Them
Imagine you are an introvert, meeting someone for the first time, and they hand you your favorite candy bar. Theyâre wearing your favorite bandâs T-shirt and they smell like your favorite cologne.
Dr. M. Leanne Lilly calls for similar groundwork when introducing cats in a âdemilitarized zoneââa place of peace and safety where cats can smell and hear each other, with positive reinforcements to set them up for success.
âBecause I can make the other cat smell like you without you touching the cat. So we get the catâs nose to lie to them: You snuggled that cat earlier; you just donât remember it,â said Dr. Lilly, a clinical associate professor and section head of behavioral medicine at The Ohio State University College of Veterinary Medicine.
âIâm gaslighting cats for a living,â she joked, drawing laughter from the audience during her session, âFighting FelinesâManaging Inter-Cat Aggression Problems,â Friday at AVMA Convention 2025, which took place in conjunction with the 40th World Veterinary Association Congress in Washington, D.C.
Affective Aggression Types
Addressing affective aggression between cats starts with understanding it, Dr. Lilly said. She defined affective aggression as âdistance-increasing behavior backed by the threat of harmâ and covered different motivations and management approaches for aggression by type:
Effectively managing affective aggression, also known as reactive aggression, depends on understanding the context, body language, and environmental factors that may trigger the behavior, she said.
For example, with play-related aggression, providing a safe, alternative target like motorized toys can help redirect unwanted attention. Dr. Lilly also advised ending play sessions with something the cats can swallow, because play is âabbreviated predatory behavior.â
âImagine if all your play was hanging out in your fake kitchen, and you never got to pretend to eat those cookies you pretend baked, but you also never got to eat real cookiesâthat could be kind of frustrating,â she said. âSo we want to make sure weâre not increasing stress by increasing frustration.â
One idea would be to put a bell on the aggressor cat, so the âstalkedâ cat can identify where they are.
âDonât put bells on your target kitties,â she added, getting a few chuckles. âThat tells the aggressor where to find their prey or inappropriate play target, and thatâs not helpful.â
Dr. Lilly encouraged avoiding reprimands or punitive disciplinary measures, as that may promote fear and aggression both toward the owner and potentially between the cats.
With pain-related aggression, identifying and treating the source of pain is necessary and may fully resolve the issues. Similarly, redirected aggression would require identifying and addressing the original target.
In other circumstances, while hissing is often associated with fear-related aggression, yowling is a classic sign of territorial aggression, directed at ânoncommunal cats at the edge of their territory,â Dr. Lilly said. The point to remember here is that it is the cat that decides who is in their community.
âIt doesnât matter how many cats are in the home, the cat decides if you are a household catâjust like you can have people who live in your apartment building, but they are not your family,â she said.
Once the type of aggression is identified, treatment and management can be tailored to become more effective.
If a stray or a squirrel outside the window is causing territorial or redirected aggression, applying a window film as a visual block may be a simple solution. To help alleviate social stress, providing sufficient space and resources is recommended to enable safe-access spots and allow for better âtimesharing.â
Dr. Lilly shared clientsâ stories, as well as some videos of behavior-modification exercises.
Because the first interaction between cats is predictive of their outcome, Dr. Lilly advises starting with scent exchanges. The goal is enthusiastic participation and positive emotional response, she said, so look for that âquestion-mark tailâ or a curious chirp.
One way to easily transfer scents between cats is to use a washcloth. But if they are grooming off the other catâs scent right away, it may be an indication to slow down.
When reinforcing with high value treats during these exchanges, Dr. Lilly suggested giving enough treats so the cats do not have to compete and providing choice, so they can enjoy treats next to each other or farther apart if they choose.
It is preferable to keep these exercises shorter in duration with more frequency, rather than one long interaction.
Another key behavior modification is teaching cats to move away from each other to interrupt before any aggression can occur. She calls it âgoing to your corners,â like in boxing rings, because that has a more positive and fun connotation than âtimeouts.â
âIf the client is only feeling frustrated, weâre not going to get good adherence,â Dr. Lilly said. âSo, I actually try to make sure that weâre doing things that are slightly fun for the client, while Iâm trying to convince the cats that they are also fun for each other.â
While not all interactions may rise to the level of aggression, tension may still exist.
Intercat tension occurs in 62% to 88% of households with two or more cats, said Dr. Ilona Rodan with Cat Behavior Solutions in Wisconsin, who presents on âIntercat Tensions: Recognition, Prevention and Managementâ Sunday at the convention.