L!fe is F@ithfu1

Yes, I have bipolar NOS, and it will be a life-long illness. It has aided in the destruction of relationships as well as the deterioration of my self-confidence and my passion for life over the course of years. It tempted me into a self-injury dependency fueled by self-hatred and a scramble to feel in-control and not afraid. It will always be what colors my shadow gray, and it will always chock me when it gets the chance.

But while all of that is true, I am living. I have a college degree that I earned during the worst relapse of my life. I have access to smart doctors that have prescribed medications that brought me to a place of stability and consistency I did not know was possible. I have used my dark past to relate to and literally save the lives and futures of people I love as they struggle. My life and my battle has mattered. I was convinced I would kill myself broken and without hope, but I did not; I am alive, and I am thriving.

Yes, a diagnosis of Bipolar is damning and a promise of struggle. But it is also full of answers. Bipolar disorder is awful, but there are resources and doctors who know how to help you, and treatments too. It is not the end, and while complete recovery is impossible and bipolar will always be inside, it is not you. You are unique and brave, and you can do many things.