muus

Anyone with a name that starts with a “Z”, ends with an “i”, and isn’t some kind of Italian pasta, IS SERIOUS

This is what's so fucked up about "nothing that requires the labor of others is a human right".

The labor is already being done under capitalism. The laborers are already being underpaid under capitalism.

When you propose removing the greedy profiteers and paying the workers a reasonable wage, people call that "slavery" while they have no problem with the current system.

the woke left: young and fashionable. visible tattoos. often enjoys matcha, lavender flavoring, oat milk, and cold foam. pretty decent customers.

sweet old man: drinks very sweet iced lattes, pays in cash, puts all of his change in the tip jar. sometimes orders hot coffee and i get scared that his shaky old man hands will spill it and he'll get burned but that has not yet happened and god willing never shall.

evil old man: only wants drip coffee and declares it ridiculous that any other form of coffee exists. some variants only want americanos and these variants are even scarier. watch out.

sweet old woman: might need her daughter's help to order but is very bubbly and open to trying new things. compliments baristas freely and frequently.

evil old woman: does not want coffee and only wants sweet tea or soda. will not tip even if she spends three hours in the shop repeatedly asking baristas to fetch things for her.

errand husband: either stiltedly recites an order to you or shows you the order in their texts/notes app. needs to step out of line and make a phone call if you ask any follow-up questions.

grindset girlie: always wearing scrubs, an apron, and/or a name tag. orders the exact same thing every day and knows the exact change she'll need to pay for it. her regular order is both extremely caffeinated and extremely sweet.

#mamabear: is actively wrangling two to four children while ordering. order changes repeatedly because the children cannot decide if they want a muffin or a cookie or apple juice or chocolate milk etc. for some reason these women are always wearing an article of clothing or carrying some personalized item that says "mama" on it.

schoolchildren: band of two to eight adolescents hanging out after school. extremely indecisive but generally quite polite and tip well.

amnesiac in love: grown adult who needs their partner to tell them what they like. gets asked a question about their own preferences and turns to their partner to answer for them. generally acts like a shy child looking to their guardian for behavioral cues if you try to interact with them and only wants to talk to mommy i mean their wife.

The drivers of all states suck, of course, this is a given. HOWEVER. There are some very special places that stand out among these. In order of how in fear for my life I was.

3. Houston. Drivers in Texas in general treat speed limits as a lower limit for how fast you should be going and the drivers in Houston show no regard for life or limb.

2. Atlanta. The drivers of Atlanta do not fear death for themselves and would rather you both die than let you merge.

Fucking. New Jersey. If I never drive I-95 or the Turnpike again I will die happy. You've never known fear until you see someone neglect to use turn signals and Jersey Slide through 4 lanes of near bumper to bumper 80 MPH traffic and cut in front of you to make their exit as you slam the brakes on and miss rear ending them by about half an inch.

Alive Rot Smell is so hard to describe, but it's the realest and most visceral thing. It is what makes up 80% of the smell of a forest, and vibrates a deep part of your animal body like YES YES YES YES! I don't want to eat it exactly, but it has a deliciousness.