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After finishing my last comic last year, I was beyond burned out. I took a break from the internet. I talked about that in depth here.

Months later, I created this Tumblr account to archive my art. Initially, I had no plans to do more with it, but I received nice comments about my art and that reignited the spark to create another one.

I tried to push down the desire to make another long comic so desperately. I didn't want to suffer alone for several months again. The last comic was emotionally taxing for me. But amidst all that, I wanted to write something happier to ease my pain. Spamton and Tenna's pain. So I started by sketching a few pages and decided to wing it.

Somehow I ended up with 60 pages...AGAIN. this time I'm [never doing that again] AGAIN for real.

Process

As excruciating it was to work on this whole thing for 3 month nonstop, alone, I admit that seeing the pages transform into beautiful art pieces was beautiful. I...hope people realize how much effort was put into this. 3 months didn't mean the work was equally sprinkled in 3 months. There were days I inked 6 pages in one sitting, or flat inked 10 in a row. It was BRUTAL.

By the way, the first month was just me writing the script. I didn't ink or color anything until the second month. I vividly remember polishing the last 18 pages in a single day because I was at the brink of giving up.

Let me explain something:

When I say draft, I mean sketching; deciding the main layout of the page, and writing the dialogue (this is the most important part of the entire comic. It also takes the longest) Line art means drawing over the sketch with neater lines. Flat colors means coloring everything with the bucket tool. Polishing means everything else: adjusting the color hues, harmony, adding speech bubbles, fixing the font size, adding final touch ups, effects, glow, shadows, motions. In case you don't know, I struggle quite a lot with color harmony, so polishing pages takes a tremendous amount of time and energy from me.

Let me repeat the yikes I said earlier: I polished the last 18 pages in a row. In the same day. Yep. EIGHTEEN. I was DESPERATE to finish it. I was losing it. No, I LOST IT. I lost it when I tried to see too far. I lost it...

Okay, 18 is a ridiculous number. Normally I'd do 4 or 5 pages, which is... also ridiculous. Don't do like me.

But... I did it!!!! I finally did it! And I'm so happy I did. I love how it turned out. I'm so happy that others loved it too. I'm thankful for everyone. Reading everyone's comments made my week! I was kicking my legs and giggling.

Concept

The premise is actually old and has been in my mind since last year, but I prioritized writing If Only because I wanted to touch on the Lightner Darkner aspect of Spamton and Tenna's relationship.

I was heavily inspired by this post on X by user @/y0sh1fum1death. The illustration struck me with a wave of inspiration. I really liked the idea of Tenna, a TV, watching another screen. I don't know what the fan art is supposed to be parody of, but the beautiful composition left a strong impression in my memory.

The first comic draft had nothing to do with a sleepover. The original draft was much darker, so I scrapped it. I simply wanted to write a scene of Spamton and Tenna cuddling in bed and talking. The cuddling bit got scrapped, but I think the final version is definitely much better.

I'd like to add that any similarities with other fan arts out there are purely coincidental. If I did take clear inspiration from another post, I'd mention it. I honestly didn't browse Tumblr much before drafting the comic. I only did so for a little bit after inking the comic, to take a breather, and was utterly shocked to see stuff that was strikingly similar to what I drew. I had NO idea those fan arts existed. I haven't realized there was so much art of them in pajamas, it's honestly so cute!!

Anyway, here are some funny and cute sketches!

Sketches

When I reached this page, I officially decided to to turn this comic into something wholesome and funny, but also keeping it emotional to some degree. I'll try to not over-explain my intentions so that my comic doesn't lose its magic.

This panel had Spamton yawn and then lie down next to Tenna, gazing at him as they talked to give a feeling of peace and security between them. But considering their intimacy at this point, I didn't think Spamton would have the guts to do that. Not on Tenna's bed. But the panel was cute, so I didn't delete it.

Maybe not all English language readers noticed, but Spamton kept referring to Tenna as "Mr. Ant" in the beginning. It wasn't until later he dropped the "Mr." and just called him by his first name. It's considered a big deal in Japanese culture.

Also, the Pippins called Spamton "Mr. Mailman", but called their boss just Tenna.

Opening Up

Instead of Tenna talking about Kris missing their favorite TV show, Tenna would open up in a different way.

Tenna is a social, emotionally intelligent TV host, so I believe that he has a high level sense of awareness, even when he pretends he does not. And while I believe he'd trust Spamton with his heart, I didn't find it logical to make him start the conversation with a topic so delicate like that. It's kind of, like... his core insecurity. Like, THE most sensitive topic he could talk about. Tenna tends to procrastinate thinking about things he doesn't like until it's too late; that's when he implodes and goes into glooby mode.

Besides, at this point, Tenna didn't realize that the Lightners began losing interest in watching TV yet. He's still in the initial shock of the routine breaking once. He didn't know the routine COULD ever be broken. This is just the beginning of his dysfunctional life routine.

Old Times

I really wanted to add ballet-twirl Tenna in the flashback, but I couldn't draw it well. Body language in my comics usually has meaning behind it: the ballet twirl here was to emphasize on how comfortable and flashy Tenna was compared to Spamton in their early days.

I realized that I haven't talked about this interpretation of them before. This might be a little long, but it makes sense to write it here than in a separate post.

Obviously, we have very little to no information regarding how Spamton and Tenna were like before they became business partners. But here's one of my many takes:

Black and white Tenna was more of a typical Deltarune boss; goofy but powerful. And when I say powerful, I don't mean scary. It's more of "Our boss is a crazy gun fanatic and we don't want to deal with him" type of guy. If you watched any black and white Looney Tunes cartoons from the 1920s before, you know what I mean. (WARNING though: those cartoons come with many trigger warnings: tw flashing lights, violence, guns, screaming, racism, etc.) Television wasn't as accessible to everyone back in the day, but still, that was the basic impression I got. "He was probably crazy about guns because that was all TV was about."

It was after Tenna met Spamton that he mellowed down. Spamton was more of a drained office worker who was simply following his benefactor's orders. As the Dreemurrs bore children, Tenna had to become more family friendly, and he eventually softened over time. His heart became fuller with children in his life, and then he blossomed feelings for Spamton which made him even softer. Spamton was the opposite - he got more comfortable being himself, learned to be more vocal, and later on was known for his eccentric behavior. A "short freak", as the Addisons call it. Spamton picked up Tenna's crazy gunner behavior, and Tenna subconsciously adopted Spamton's polite businessman manners.

A clarification for those who don't know: in the Japanese version of Deltarune, Spamton speaks in teineigo. (It's when sentences end with ~desu and ~masu, which indicate polite speech.) To put it simply, teineigo is like the difference between those two sentences: "Heya Tenna what's up?" and "Good morning, Mr. Tenna. How is today treating you?"

As you can tell, the difference in characterization is stark. That probably explains the drastic gap you see between various versions of Spamtons in fan art. To clarify, Addison Spamton didn't speak in teineigo. But businessmen in Japan must always speak politely in professional environments, so that's why I got the impression of Spamton speaking politely to Tenna when they first met.

Needless to say, I don't have one solid headcanon about how they met. I have many many many different ideas, and my brain cycles between them. Despite having said all that, I equally like the idea that Tenna was always a softie and Spamton was always a weirdo, nothing more. After all, it's the little small details that make their story compelling - things don't always have to be fixed.

Phew - sorry, that was long! I just wanted to let the readers know how much thinking happens behind the scenes. There's a lot that I can't cram into a few pages. Pacing is important.

Let's get back to the comic.

Changed Panels

Tenna was smiling in the sketch, but I changed it to a blank face for maximum awkwardness. I experimented a lot with poses, but I scrapped so many of them because they all exceeded my artistic abilities.

In one of the scrapped routes the comic took, after Tenna says "we can make it more fun", he attempts to turn on a movie on his screen but all it plays are recorded clips of Spamton. He would blush and panic, and that's when the reader first realizes his true repressed feelings towards Spamton.

Tenna wore a sleep hat in the sketches, but I couldn't draw it well so I scrapped it. His pajamas were supposed to have star patterns too, but I was too exhausted to draw them.

After Spamton says "I'll stay", I changed Tenna's expression from panicked to happy. It's to emphasize on how desperate he is to spend one more minute with Spamton.

In the sketch, it was a Kaiju movie. I changed it to romance to suit the emotional tone of the monologue. I think it'd be pretty cute if Lanino and Elnina were actors who fell in love. A giant Ant Tenna VS Spamton NEO would make a fun movie.

I wanted to draw spamtenna doing something cute as Spamton spoke to himself, so I drew them singing karaoke together, which brought the idea of having a pillow fight.

I absolutely love this quote. I worked hard to include it in the comic, but I couldn't find a good place for it.

Spamton stands in front of the Big Shot Autos poster, giving the illusion of him having wings. This was inspired by The Other Side animation by Sunny Doll on Youtube, at minute 3:30. You've probably seen this animation before, but I'm linking it anyway because it's wonderfully animated. Thank you for the inspiration!

Left is the original pose; right is the finalized one.

As much as I love Tenna's silly puckered lips, I felt like he'd display an over-the-top reaction instead of a calm one. Tenna's reactions are all cranked to the max yet still wholeheartedly genuine.

Slipping on slime was the silliest plot ever. It's just so goofy. I mean, it was so absurd that it didn't even need explaining. I'm just glad nobody asked for an explanation...

I peeked at the hidden unused layers of this panel. My heart hurt.

Throughout the entire comic, I had to make extra sure to the reader that Spamton wasn't tsundere. And the truth is, I didn't want to add any inner freak out monologue at all, at first. But I didn't want the readers to think that Spamton hated what was happening. It was a really though choice... but I think it was clearly conveyed to the reader in the end? I hope so.

Spamton wasn't avoiding Tenna because he was putting on a barrier - he knew the barrier would shatter in seconds because he's just as obsessed. But the whole benefactor stuff probably spooked him, and he didn't want to drag Tenna into all that. I even added the phone in the background to summarize everything I just said without actually saying it.

This is just my own preference, but I like to visualize past Spamton as awkward and shy, mainly because of how cute his sprites are.

Look at how cute he is!!!!!

Fun fact, the original title for this comic was "Cathode Dreams", but it felt like that name didn't include Spamton. So I thought, "let's choose the most emotional quote of the comic and use it as a title." I almost named it "Only If". (from "only if it's you) But I didn't want to traumatize myself even further. I also wanted readers who were traumatized by If Only to give this one a chance. So I changed it to "Intertwined".

Thoughts

So, fluff aside... I'll gush about spamtenna for a bit. This next segment isn't about the comic but it fits here better than a standalone post.

"So, was Tenna just manipulating Spamton after all? To stay over, to nuzzle with him, to buy him a car? etc."

I don't think it's that simple.

If Deltarune taught me anything, it's to never trust the narrators literally. Like, none of them. No narrator in the game can be relied on. Not the prophecy, not Tenna, not Spamton. And while none of them actually lied, we have to understand that there are things we simply can't comprehend until the right time comes. That's how real life works. I believe they're all saying the truth; we don't fully know how yet.

However...

Even if we assume this comic was somehow canon, Tenna wouldn't even remember it correctly. He would say something like "I made him do it." He'd be too anguished to be able to differentiate between what happened and how he felt like when it happened. That's a very important aspect of Tenna to me, and I have to keep that in mind the entire time I write him. The poor man's heart can't even handle the possibility of himself being any source of distress to Spamton. And now he's the cause of his disappearance. At this point in Deltarune (post chapter 3 and 4; I'm writing this in May 2026), Tenna isn't even functioning normally anymore; he's in constant anguish and it's distorting his memory.

Both of them, really. On the other hand, Spamton's broken heart had driven him to suffer intrusive thoughts, such as "I gave you everything! My life advice!" resentfully, as if he was pushed to do it. But in reality, it was an intentional, genuine act of love that he did for his lifelong significant other. Alas, over time, devotion and sacrifice transformed into resentment, eating away his non-existent soul. Regret might have piled up, but the love is still buried underneath it. It's still alive and breathing, although faintly.

Spamton is the perfect embodiment of "I have no heart yet I must love you."

Tenna is "I want to become good enough so that you'd choose me every time."

They were, and still are, madly in love with each other. And when you love someone so much, losing them means losing a part of you.

They still cling to each other, even if it hurts. But it only hurts because it's real.

Their love was always real.

And it will always be real.

- End