Nowhere Left For Us To Go But Heaven.

Jane Austen really said ‘I respect the “I can fix him” movement but that’s just not me. He’ll fix himself if knows what’s good for him’ and that’s why her works are still calling the shots today.

Meanwhile Emily Brönte just said “We can make each other worse.” 

Mary Shelley said, "I can make him

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.

This post is to Easter what a Geiger counter is to radiation.

reblog if its friday and you made it

Mary Magdalene washing Christ's feet

inside me there are two lungs. and one liver. one stomach. a few meters of intestine. there's a lot inside me actually

update: it's eyes turn green when the other team has a penalty

Encounter: junior league hockey god

still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing

it must feel good as hell when you’re a horse and you take a big bite out of an apple like ttshoke

your command over onomatopoeia is unmatched bestie