kurafuto eggu

I wonder what it’s like to have energy… To do… Things…

kissing a girl’s stomach is such a soft form of affection………i love it

welcome to applebees would you like apples or bees?

i love girls we are  so fun and have morals

fucking love girls that are spacing out all the time if you say “what?” 5 times in 2 minutes youre extraordinary

there’s a lot of evidence that the iliad and the odyssey were actually composed by a variety of poets through an oral tradition rather than just by one poet, so what if the homeric texts are actually just a very long game of D&D

homer, the dm: okay achilles, agamemnon has just taken away your war prize, what do you want to do achilles’ player: i roll to have a diplomatic conversation with agamemnon achilles’ player: *rolls a 1* homer: you throw the staff of speaking at agamemnon’s face and storm off to sulk with your boyfriend

Homer, the DM: Your beautiful Patroclus is dead. What do you do? Achilles’ player: I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: You can’t fight everyone. How would you even– Achilles’ player: *rolls a 20* I fight everyone. Homer, the DM: *sighs* Fine. You cut a path through the Trojan army, enemy dead strewn in your wake. Achilles’ player: How many? Homer, the DM: …lots. Enough to clog the friggin’ river with bodies. Achilles’ player: I fight the river. Homer, the DM: You. can. not. fight. the. river. Achilles’ player: *reaches for dice*

i put new yellow shoelaces on my boots to show people i am Cool. I walk to my work full of old lady cashiers. “I like your shoelaces.” one of them says to me. I see my life flash before my eyes as this ancient test is presented before me

The worst trope in the universe is when a female character who gets teased for looking like a “lesbian” turns out to be straight as like this whole “haha turns out she likes boys don’t stereotype” bitch just have her be gay @ Mean Girls/@ Bring It On

Femme lesbians in big stompy boots rb if u agree

birds are so small fragile and fat if anyone is ever mean to a helpless bird i will smack them down like the hand of god